Chapter 1: The Hollow Man
A photograph hidden, in the shadows on Ulysses' table, it mockingly glanced a happier time. Ulysses holding a beer gently to another lost commander. He recalled his name to be something pompous. Eliot? Ulysses thought bitterly, his last memory with him when he buried him on that winter, with an unmarked grave, with tears and a drinking song to serenade him in his eternal sleep.
The voice echoed in the distance from the dark room.
"...Is Mr Ulysses in.." He nursed the limb of what remains and used his hands to clutch the crutches. Ulysses muttered "Damn.." as he hobbled himself into the door. "..Who the hell are you..", as he opened the door gingerly. A small boy came in with a cheerful smile, his ruffled hair echoed his long journey to find him. "Thank goodness I managed to find you…" as he passed a sealed telegram.
Ulysses glanced at him coldly "Keh…" and quickly the young boy bolted slightly. He quickly bites a knife to take off the wax seal. Ulysses swallowed calmly as he read the words of the telegram. His mouth raised in a silent scream.
He slammed the paper down to the table. Somehow the room grew empty with stifled sobs.
Perhaps his wish did come true.
Somehow the bar grew silent, as Ulysses pointed out his order to the solemn bar owner. "The usual.."
"It came with the greatest regret, with my brother's final wish, to speak with you. Sadly it is unfulfilled, he always wished how things could be better and lament that the war should not happen.." Ulysses held back the tears as he glanced at the reflection of the beer. Sometimes he wished he could erase that winter, where they huddle like rats under the drain, silent screams echoed in the distance. Him lying down in the snow, with blood bathing the ground, with eyes glazed to the cawing birds. Ulysses covered his face in shame, fighting off the cawing sounds and pained sobs from the blown up limbs.
A leaflet fluttered in the distance, with its title whispering "Auto memoir dolls.." Ulysses glanced at a pretty lady using a typewriter. Her face serene and calm to hear the client's wishes, Maybe he could exorcise the winter out of his mind with that doll. Quickly he snatched that leaflet from the wall and hid in his pocket.
"Have you heard about the passing of that geezer Henry…" as one of the patrons glanced at Ulysses "It is a pity, he always comes with everything but eventually, he came with nothing…"
Weeks later, a knock came over the door, Ulysses twitched like a rabbit on a hunt. He swore that could be an annoying passerby preaching for his salvation, but somehow there is that urgency to race to the door. It could be someone else, maybe a former man in arms popping by to share that adventure or maybe an old man delivering the newspapers to the home.
Ulysses quietly hobbled to the door, clutching to that worn out telegram piece, thinking of that old urban legend shared by a certain man in arms with an eyepatch, telling of a ghost who keep eating hearts of those afraid amidst the mocking warmth of the campfire. It said that he could savour the cries and the screams of his victims.
Somehow a voice came to his head.
"I will see you on the other side…" as he tilted his helmet before they walked through the pathway with many blank soldiers staring at the colourless sky. Ulysses shut his eyes slightly as he reached for that door. He slowly glanced at the mouth, he thought he saw the ghost of his friend, but instead, it was a young lady.
A doll?
What he noticed is her ocean blue eyes, stoic and calm, like the seashore he used to pass their train en route to the battlefield. "You must be Ulysses.."
Those eyes shimmer a little amidst the dark, like that campfire a while back, which the men would lament over the missing relatives and lovers. Ulysses could recall a young soldier staring at the sea, mumbling how much he missed the green pastures of his home. The shimmer of her brooch echoed that sentiment of that young man who never faced the horrors of war. "I will run as fast as I can, to wherever my customer desires. I am the Auto Memories Doll," She quickly bowed to Ulysses calmly "Violet Evergarden…"
"I do not know that you are fast.." Ulysses rubbed his head slightly with nervousness. He has yet to clear up his messy table filled with daily agendas "Apologies for the mess..you should have alerted me much earlier.I could clear up the apartment clearly…"
"May I get you something…"
"Tea will do.. since you set the time to be a week, we get to work Mr Ulysses." Violet curtly interrupted Ulysses' ramblings, as she searched for a table Ulysses observed her settling her typewriter down to the table which is next to the picture frame. Violet affirmed to Ulysses "Perhaps you want to make yourself comfortable.." Ulysses hesitantly took a seat, watched her bit her brown kid gloves to reveal a mechanical hand, it seems to glisten in the sunlight. "What happened Violet.."
"Lost my arms at the Great war.." Violet swallowed quietly, as it echoed that sad moment, the catalyst of her taking that job as the Auto Memory Doll "While saving the Major in an attack…" as she gently placed the steel fingertips unto the buttons of the typewriter. Ulysses quietly smiled at her "Seems you are also in the war while back.." somehow he touched the nub again "Must be shit to not to silence the voices in your head, innocent or not.."
Somehow she meticulously set the papers on top of the typewriter, unfazed by the mess of the room. "is there something in mind…or…someone…"
"Do you see the framed photograph.." Violet watched Ulysses covered his eyes, and somehow she brought the photograph to the light. It was a happier time. " It has been years since I resigned from the army, and it never left me.." Ulysses pointed to that man "Recently…that man…shit…an old friend of mine…" Violet attentively listened to his life story of his, somehow she could feel the bitterness in his voice, as he recounts a tale of them having the drink before the deployment.
Their minds yet devoid of the sounds of bombs exploding and the sea of corpses which they will entangle someday. Somehow the sips quell of the horrors that are to come. "Sometimes I feel this war will never end.." Henry giggled darkly "The damn military will treat us like the pawns in the bloody chessboard, eventually no one will win." Ulysses smiled calmly, soon their civilian life will be a different world to them. He heard of anecdotes of men coming out from the warlike ghosts, nevertheless, he seems optimistic about his home life. "Should we escape the bloody war, I rather settle down somewhere quiet and live…"
Somehow death seems better than living itself.
He gave a mocking grin to Violet. "I will do anything for that bastard to die.." She noticed in her encounters when clients open up to their experiences, their masks fell and they become vulnerable in their emotions whenever it is grief or love. Violet has to express those feelings on paper with composure and yet with heart. Ulysses is no different, he becomes the burning forest, like the perilous training grounds in her youth, all repressed by his fist curled up in anger. Blank soldiers walking the labyrinth of darkness and fear, with no foresight of home. He fought it hard to detachedly said no to Violet. His lips quivered to curse the name of that liar that caused his agony. "Escape the bloody war…",as he nearly snatches the frame, threatening it to break it onto the floor.
Violet swallowed quietly as she held his wrist tightly "You need to calm down sir.." She noticed his hand with the crumpled paper as she stared at him firmly, those ocean blue eyes become like that storm a while back when he entered the battlefield with villagers fearing for their lives "I recall a friend telling me that you are burning up… You will not notice the scars until later"
"It is nothing…"Ulysses mockingly laughed "Get to work Violet, and get out of here…" He seems to be in denial, his eyes glazed into hers. Violet stood her ground as she saw a piece of paper on the floor, addressing to Ulysses "You are burning up sir, I am not leaving, it must be the telegram that is why you want me to come here.."
"It is nothing.."
Violet's eyes flashed to her past, as she withheld Ulysses' angry fits, she could recall in her darkest moment where she threw everything in rage, haunted by Gilbert's kind eyes pleading her to leave, and how the flames burned her body. She was then unafraid, but she fears the burn for she would spend many days, writing unsent letters in her dark room, composing them day and night, without food and drink. "Sir I fear you are exhausted tonight, may I have the telegram please.."
That person is slowly eating up Ulysses, seeing no light in the dark. "Damn…why…it is hard.." Ulysses' voice cracked slightly as he passed the telegram to Violet's cold hands "Go and read it, and figure.." His body becomes the shadow again as he walked to the lamp, and slowly light it up "Should you find me.I will be upstairs, you will sleep on the couch tonight. I will make arrangements with the inn tomorrow for your stay.."
"There is no need for arrangements…I am inclined, by our contact to stay in your house..." Violet watched Ulysses slam the door and heard him mumble some curses.
Violet composed herself like a soldier at war and quietly read the telegram. She swallowed the tears as she read the sobering message of that person. It must have hurt to see the consequences of wishful thinking.
She knew the heat of war, it choked her, it burnt her, and if most...
It nearly killed her.
Ulysses is slowly noticing the burns on his hands by now. Violet slowly climbed up the steps, stood by the door soberly and knocked quietly "Have a restful night sir. We will work on your letter after breakfast."
He did not reply.
All Violet could do is to be the steady anchor in his storm, as she clutched the telegram tightly.
Note: First of all thank you guys for taking the time to read this fanfic. This story is pretty personal as I wanted to pour my feelings out based on an experience I have at work and making it to something positive. I am really indebted to the anime for helping me to contextualise my feelings of past encounters and making it better.
Anyway, feedback and comments are welcomed! I will post the chapters on my writing Tumblr blog shade-without-color if you want to give it a read.
