She stared at the door. He had walked out such a long time ago, but she was still in such a state of shock that her eyes couldn't leave it. It was like he was giving up on everything that they stood for. They had worked so hard to build this, and now he was going to throw it all away after one bump in the road. It had taken them almost eight years to finally reach this point, this place of total affection for each other, and he was just walking away from everything because he was scared.
Her eyes began to hurt staying open. The vibration of her cell phone pulled her out of her dream-like state. Her heart leapt as she thought who could be on the other end of the phone. But as she thought about it more, what would she say? Why would he call her? As she looked at it, she saw it was Munch.
"Hey John," she answered, attempting to sound as composed as possible. It wasn't going as well as she hoped it would.
"You okay?" he asked. "Elliot came back here a while ago to drop something off before he went home. When we asked where you were he said you were taking care of yourself. He was acting a little wound up, well, more than usual. Did something happen between the two of you? He didn't leave you there, did he? 'Cause if he did…"
Olivia stood up from the plastic chair outside of Rebecca's room. As she began to walk towards the exit of the hospital silent, she wondered if she should tell Munch. By telling him she could end up inviting the whole unit into her personal life problems? Or she could not tell him and live without the advice that levelheaded John always gives without telling her what to do. No matter how much she wanted to deny it or say that John was a sarcastic whiner, he always knew what to do. She could go to him when she couldn't go to Elliot. She would go to him even when she could.
"He seemed okay when he left. I told him I was fine and that he could go ahead," Olivia lied. "Maybe the whole day is just getting to him."
Horrible images began to fill her eyes. She tried to block them out as hard as she could. She shut her eyes and squeezed them tightly.
A harried looking Gitano with Ryan and Rebecca was coming at her. The silver was gleaming as it came straight at her neck. She froze, knowing she was caught. The searing pain from her neck, but the worse pain that came from Elliot's eyes once he realized that he had made a mistake choosing her over the little boy. In return, choosing her cost the boy his life.
Then there was the hold-up at the warehouse. Gitano was screaming lies at them as he wagged the gun at Elliot's head. Olivia had the gun pointed straight at him, but she couldn't pull herself to shoot Elliot. During that period of time, all she wanted to do was take the gun and turn it on her. It was just too much to handle. He was playing with Elliot's and her minds, along with their relationship, which had been put on rocky ground after the incident at the bus station.
"Liv, you still there?" John repeated.
"I'm sorry, John, I-uh-just have a lot on my mind right now. After today, everything has just been so confusing, I guess," she replied. As she walked out the door, she realized for the first time that the car was gone. She could take a taxi home, but she had no money. She could walk back to the stationhouse, but she was unsettled that she had no idea which way was which.
"Liv, are you sure you're okay? You're sounded a little mixed up in the head right about now, and I'm not sure that I want to hang up if you are," John pursued, his voice sounding compassionate.
Olivia took a deep breath. "John, do think you could come pick me up? I'm a little disoriented after what happened, and I have no way to get back to the station," Olivia said.
After they conversed for a little while longer, Olivia hung up. She sat on a nearby bench, waiting for John to arrive.
People walked by. Olivia watched every single one of them, praying for some strange reason that it was him. The longer she sat there, the more she thought of him. The more she thought of him, the more feelings came into her head, threatening to leak out. Was he thinking about her? Did he feel this much pain? Was he as angry as she was? Confused? Desperate? Needy? Most of all, heartbroken?
She placed her head into her hand and closed her eyes. When did everything get so difficult? Or, more importantly, when and how did she and Elliot fall to this point? What was 'this point'? She hoped it wasn't what she was thinking it was. Had she been lying to herself every single day? What had gone wrong?
None of this made sense. This wasn't how it was supposed to work. Olivia and Elliot were SuperPartners. They were supposed to be together forever. How could something as small as this manage to rip them apart?
Olivia didn't want to let this happen. She couldn't. If she did, she wouldn't be able to face Elliot anymore. She didn't want to let herself fall to that point. Her life would be over. Elliot and her job was her life. If she couldn't go to Elliot anymore, she couldn't do her job the way she wanted to.
okay. that was my first attempt at a law and order: svu story. i am hoping that i managed to capture the characters' personalities and the natural essence of the show. this is basically the aftermath of the episode fault. i really liked the episode, but i thought that it ended on a weird note, causing elliot and olivia's relationship to fall apart from there. if you liked it, let me know.
