Like Carter, Like Sis

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Remember that song "Honey" by Bobby Goldsboro? No, I didn't think you did. Then you wouldn't remember the part where it said the girl was "kinda dumb and kinda smart." But I bring this up because I think my sister really fits the bill on that one. She can talk circles around you about the hydroplate theory (look it up; it's real!), the physics of the origins debate, and the nuances of personality theory. But give her a spigot and she'll go merrily revolving it counterclockwise until you tell her to try the other direction and maybe it would open. As for me, I love making her my foil. Take a typical example of our interaction...

September, 2011
Location: northern California, USA

"No, wait a minute. Shhh," my sister whispered. I lugged the grocery plastic bags back and forth in my overstuffed arms. I always carried more than I could chew (to mix my metaphors), and this case was no different. After a long drive in the car, I didn't exactly feel like standing to stare off at, what was it?

"Look, it's two, three deer!" she said, entranced.

Oh no.

"They're looking at us!"

I crinkled the plastic bags in my hands. I could see the tan creatures off in the little valley below us, big ears poking laterally from their questioning little heads. This was so her, I thought, as I watched her prancing eyes. I smirked.

She ignored me.

I presented her a plastic bag of lettuce rounds.

"Wait a minute," she said.

I slumped back. You wonder why I didn't just leave and unpack, leaving her to her awe? Well, we always did things together, and I suppose falling into our little family stereotypes was one of them.

"You know we used to always try to scare them away when we were kids," I said casually, then made a waving motion with my weighed arm.

"Shh!" she squeaked and brought my hand down. "You'll scare them!"

"That's the point," I said.

"You sneak."

"I know." I made an exaggerated grin, a la JJ Evans on Good Times.

She giggled and brought her fist to my cheek – not to punch me out, mind you, but to smush into my world-famous soft face. (That being her designation; I would argue otherwise!)

"Are you ready to go?" I asked.

"Oh, no way!" She turned back to the deer.

It was going to be a long afternoon.

But she's really something else. All her quirks and naivete, her head-spinning theories and gasp-look-at-that-cloud moments – but, really, there is a sense of deja vu around her sometimes. Let me explain...

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April, 1944
Location: Bad Kissingen Forest, Germany

Newkirk was packed with equipment – wires, bomb trigger, pliers, metal what-nots – a flashlight for good measure. All because Carter went chasing off after a footstep in the forest. The American said he was sure it was some sort of deer, some rare kind, he mentioned. "So?" Newkirk asked aloud again, shaking his head.

Finally, Carter's scrawny cap came into view through the trees. "Carter!" Newkirk hissed, about six yards away.

"Newkirk!" Carter turned briefly towards him. "Newkirk, you got to see this! She's a mother! And you can see her fawn right there. I'm so close!"

"Blimey," Newkirk breathed, stomping his way to Carter. "What's so special about that?"

"Roe deer families are a rare sight, Newkirk. Goodness how lucky we are."

"Yeah, I can imagine," Newkirk snorted.

Carter brought some binoculars to his eyes and peered forward.

"Where'd you get those binoculars?" Newkirk adjusted the stuff plaguing his arms. "You know, we could have used those back there at the bridge."

"Oh, uh." Carter looked sheepishly at Newkirk. "I guess I forgot I had them."

"You would."

"They're so small, I had them hidden here." He patted his shoulder bag defensively.

"Let's just get out of 'ere, all right?"

"No, wait!" Carter peered through the glasses again.

"You've got to be kiddin' me."

"What?"

"We've got to go!"

"But this is something I could tell my grandkids."

Newkirk looked around. "If we hang around any longer, you won't have any grandkids."

"Just one more second."

"Carter, I thought you're suppose to 'run swift and sure through the forest' not stand flat and firm in the forest."

Carter pounded the binoculars into his shoulder bag. "Well, okay, if you feel that way so much, we'll go."

"Aw, come on, Andrew, get that look off your face."

Carter smirked and trudged forward. Newkirk followed gratefully. They went a couple of yards, then Carter stooped suddenly.

Newkirk hit the dirt, crunching branches along the way. "Blimey! A German patrol could 'ave 'eard— Oh no."

Carter had his hand on the head of a deft golden fawn. Carter looked at Newkirk with dancing bliss in his eyes.

Newkirk rolled his eyes and sighed. "You're somethin' else, Andrew. Somethin' else."

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Flash forward...

You know what? Some things just never change. And I guess I kind of like it that way.


a/n: To reiterate, the author does have a sister just like that, and I love her so much!