"Are you okay?" Emily asked, as Ashley wobbled into her living room. They both had enough to drink that the team didn't question them sharing a cab, even if they had no idea they were going to the same place.
"Yeah, I'm fiiiine." Seaver said as she scooped up Sergio the cat to fuss him.
"Just you drank a lot." Prentiss pointed out. "More than me."
"I can out drink you any time." She teased.
"I know. I didn't mean it like that."
"Then what did you mean?" she asked. Prentiss knew they were probably a little too tipsy for the conversation, but she wanted to get it out while it was fresh in her mind.
"When we were in the nursery," she started slowly, "you looked really uncomfortable. Then after that you drank quite a lot, and whenever anything was particularly baby-ish, you looked like you wanted to run out of the house."
Ashley pulled the cat closer for a moment, kissing the top of its head before she put him down.
"I didn't mean to be obvious." She said quietly. "I didn't want to spoil Reid and Morgan's celebration."
"What's bugging you, Ashley?"
"They're my first friends who've done the whole baby, family thing. And when we were in the nursery, it made me think of being a child. Everyone did, I guess. But not everyone had my father. It was the baby photos; there isn't, or hasn't ever been, a single photo of my dad holding me. Not even in the hospital right after I was born. And I guess it just made me sad."
"That's normal."
"I know." She nodded. "But I feel... invested in Reid and Morgan having a baby. Is that weird? When I was in that nursery I was just imaging them as parents, imagining them being the kind of dads I wanted to have."
"It's not that weird." Prentiss said gently. "I think we all feel a bit like that for them. As if seeing them be amazing parents would prove what they can do with this job, that we can thrive. And they're going to be. And it's okay for you to think about your father."
"Yeah." Seaver nodded. "I know. I just don't know if there's ever going to be a thing that doesn't make me think about him. Sometimes I just want him out of my head."
Emily didn't know how to respond; she couldn't know how it felt to have a father like Ashley's. Her mother hadn't been the kind of mother she wanted, but she was far from a serial killer. Instead of words, she extended her hand to the other woman.
"Come on." She smiled. "I think we need to sleep the wine off."
Ashley smiled a little sadly and took the offered hand, letting herself be pulled through to the bedroom.
