1. Hurting

"I have something to tell you, Blaine," Kurt said, staring intently at the Lima Bean logo on his coffee cup. He breathed in a deep sigh and refused to look Blaine in the eyes.

"What is it, Kurt? You know you can tell me anything," the shorter boy replied warmly, giving him a smile to try and lighten the mood, and failing. He continued to act cool and casual on the outside, but in the pit of his stomach he knew this couldn't be good news. But what could it be? The pair had been happily dating for over a year. They were in love. Well, Blaine was in love. Completely, head-over-heels, and irrevocably in love. And he'd thought Kurt was, too. He'd told him he was, and it seemed like he'd meant it. So why was he sitting here now, his boyfriend's gorgeous glasz eyes filled with worry and sadness, feeling more distant from the love of his life than ever before?

"I'm…" Kurt started, tears threatening to fall from his eyes. Blaine looked at him warmly, which didn't help Kurt at all. He looked at the cup in his hands, debating whether or not he should stall and take a sip. His palms were sweating, as was the rest of him, which would have thoroughly disgusted him had his mind not been on other things much more important. He inhaled deeply and shut his eyes, letting it all out in one breath, "I'mbreakingupwithyou."

Suddenly, the clock stopped ticking. The world stopped spinning. The people in the coffee shop disappeared. Everything became dark and black, at least in Blaine's mind. He didn't know whether to start crying or start breaking something. He finally settled on gasping out, "Wh-what?"

"Oh, please, dear god, don't let me say it again," Kurt pleaded.

"Wh-why?" Blaine really didn't want to know, but he really did. He looked into Kurt's eyes, which held sadness, grief and…heartbreak?

"I…just…can't…" Kurt couldn't get the words out. Blaine shook his head in shock. Kurt got up from his seat and said, "I'm sorry. Goodbye, Blaine." As he turned to leave, Kurt tried to stay strong, but he wanted more than anything to run back to his seat and press his lips to Blaine's. He kept his head up and didn't look back, knowing that if he did he'd probably lose his mind and never get it back. He made his way to his Navigator, holding back tears with every inch of his being. When he finally opened the door and got inside, the tears just wouldn't behave and came flooding out like two waterfalls were embedded in his face. He remembered having to drive home a drunken Blaine after Rachel's house party disaster. He had been acting like a child, belting out the lyrics to Teenage Dream as loud as possible and crossing his arms and pouting whenever Kurt had shushed him from the driver's seat. He remembered Blaine ordering Kurt's coffee for him, having memorized his order by heart. He remembered their first kiss, so sweet and gentle and innocent. He remembered how he'd felt driving home that day, happier than he'd ever felt in his life. He sobbed now, completely devastated and broken hearted. He'd just let go the love of his life. But he knew, deep in his heart, that he'd done the right thing. He couldn't be selfish anymore. He had to do what would keep Blaine safe.

He began gasping for air repeatedly before letting out a big sob again. He felt like a child, but didn't care. He knew he couldn't drive home until he was less than hysterical, so he just sat in the parking lot, sobbing so much he thought his eyes would dry out. He sniffed and turned on the radio, only to be greeted by the song Blaine had sung to Kurt when Kurt transferred back to McKinley, "Somewhere Only We Know." He began to sob even harder, if that were even possible, remembering how his former boyfriend's beautiful and incredible voice had suited the song so perfectly.

He heard his phone begin to play "Baby, It's Cold Outside" and he almost completely lost it, knowing that was the ringtone he'd set up for Blaine's texts or calls. He checked his phone which informed him he had one new message. He opened it to find a text that read, "Can we please talk about this? I love you way too much to let you go. Ever. Please, let's just talk. I'm sure we can work it all out. -B." Kurt let out a fresh wave of tears, knowing that this could never be solved. Blaine wouldn't understand. He'd say he could take care of himself. That they'd still have each other. But that was impossible.

Kurt thought about the moment that caused him to make the worst decision of his life.

Kurt had the best boyfriend in the world, better than he could've ever imagined. He had great friends, his dad was in perfect health, he was on the high honor roll. Nothing could be better.

Karofsky, though. That was the one problem. It was as if he'd never apologized to Kurt. Santana disbanded the Bully Whips and had "thrown Karofsky a coming-out party," as she had put it. In the form of a nasty rumor. Karofsky was immediately appointed Kurt's position as the butt of any and all gay jokes. He got a slushie facial almost every day, and Santana didn't seem to feel sad or guilty. It was as if she was proud of her work.

Karofsky was mortified. He jumped to conclusions and immediately blamed Kurt for what had happened, claiming that if he'd never been born he could live a normal life. He made Kurt's life a living hell once again, shoving him into lockers whenever he saw him, spray painting the word "fag" all over the outside of his house and Navigator. Kurt tried to stray strong, thinking he'd dealt with this neandrathal once, he could do it again. This kid was either incredibly confused and hurt, or didn't have a nice bone in his body, Kurt had told himself. Just be strong.

He hadn't told Blaine. He didn't want him to have to worry about him. Even more so, he didn't want Blaine to get hurt. So he kept his mouth shut, thinking he could handle it on his own. He didn't tell his dad, either. In front of the glee kids and Mr. Schue he pretended not to be bothered by it. But he knew they were worried for him.

One day he was walking down the hall, gushing to Rachel about he and Blaine's date the night before, Rachel for once not interjecting and just looking at him with warmth in her eyes and a smile on her face.

Suddenly Kurt felt the all too familiar feeling of Karofsky's big hand on his shoulder, and, acting on instinct, immediately blocked his body with his hands. His shoulder, hands and the side of his face met with the cold lockers, scattering his books and papers everywhere. Rachel, without a second thought, bent down to pick them up for Kurt, giving Karofsky her iciest glare when he told her to "f off." Rachel handed the books and papers to Kurt and stood her ground, watching Karofsky if he made a wrong move.

"You still dating that fag, huh, Kurt?" Karofsky asked, giving Kurt a tiny shove with every, "Huh? You two done it yet, huh? Tell me, Kurt! What're you so afraid of?"

"Leave him alone, you-" Rachel was about to launch into one of her finely-tuned insults decorated with big, intelligent words when Karofsky turned and glared at her.

"Look, I don't wanna hit a girl. You gonna make me?" He held out a fist threateningly, and Rachel looked at Kurt with wide eyes. Kurt, still terrified, just nodded, and Rachel slowly began to back away, her conscience screaming for her to sock Karofsky square in the jaw, to give him what he deserved. But she knew that that would just make the situation worse for Kurt. He'd mock him for needing a girl to protect him. So, despite being incredibly hesitant, Rachel left, only to go directly to Principal Figgins.

Karofsky turned on Kurt, glaring at him with a look that shook Kurt to his core. "I see you with that prick again, he's gonna pay for it. You hear me?"

"What, are you jealous?" Kurt hissed, and he felt Karofsky's grip tighten on his shoulder. "I've told you once and I'll say it again: you aren't even close to being my type, and I will never have even the slightest interest in you. Now why can't you-" Kurt was silenced by Karofsky's fist to his face. Everyone else had already gone to class, the teachers too busy beginning their curriculum to notice the events happening in the halls.

"Now you listen to me, Lady," Karofsky growled, "I find out you're still with that douche, the Fury is going to make sure he changes his mind! Got it?" Kurt froze, forgetting all his surroundings and even Karofsky. How could he stay with Blaine and literally put him directly in harm's way? He couldn't. He had to break up with him, no matter how heartbreaking it would be. Transferring wouldn't do any difference, Karofsky could show up at that school or at Kurt's house. Or the Lima Bean.

"Let that boy down!" The thick accent of their principal brought Kurt back to Earth. He looked to see Principal Figgins pointing an accusatory finger at Karofsky, with Rachel marching not far behind, a look of complete hatred on her face. As Figgins took Karofksy to his office, Rachel walked up to Kurt and asked if there was anything else she could do. Kurt just shook his head, his eyes telling her he was a million miles away in a terrible, terrible place.

He knew the decision he had to make. Even if Karofsky gets in trouble for this, that's not going to change anything. It didn't before when Sue expelled him, did it?

Kurt left Rachel standing in the hall as he walked to the men's room as calmly as possible. He checked his eye, which now had a purple rim around it. Great. How was he going to explain this to the glee club, to Carole or his dad? He had to come up with something.

But even worse than that conversation is going to be, he had to break up with Blaine.

And now here he was, sitting in the Lima Bean parking lot, having done the horrible deed. He looked at himself in his rear view mirror. Perfect. All that crying had washed away the makeup he'd put on to cover up the black eye. Now it could be seen perfectly. He turned on the ignition and drove away as fast as possible without exceeding the speed limit more than five miles per hour. As soon as he got home he ran downstairs, thanking the lord under his breath his father wasn't home. He flopped down on his bed, despite the intense pain this caused his eye. He tried not to cry, but the tears continued to fall.

He'd just let go of the one thing that had actually made him entirely happy. And he couldn't get it back.