AN: So uh. This is crack. There is neither sense, nor seriousness here, and no plot either. But, apparently the RoTG muses were so depressed by the last fic they have shut up for a while, so this could finally get finished (for a certain value of "finished"). Despite the title, its mostly about Hiccup.
Title: It's Always Wheeljack's Fault
Rating: G
Disclaimer: I deny all responsibility for this
Later, Ratchet would blame Wheeljack.
It had started as a typical day on Berk After the Red Death – the rain had decided to take a short break, allowing the sun to grudgingly peep through the clouds. Dragon Training, now less about mutual destruction of two species and more about learning how to co-exist, had obligingly taken a break to allow for wings to be stretched and general restlessness to be exorcised. Hiccup and Toothless were no exception, willing enough to take some time out from being the village Hero. Still, Hero or not, Hiccup remained Hiccup, and so no-one was entirely surprised by the sound of an explosion from the forge shortly after Hiccup had entered. What happened next, however…
Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third, Hero of Berk, had only thought to work on a project (he hesitates to call it a gift, it's just…an experiment in the methodology, if it doesn't work there's no skin off his teeth, and oh Thor what if she hates it?) for Astrid. He had been amusedly resigned by the large black dragon trying to fit into the forge and investigate all its nooks and crannies, and the resultant shoving match had knocked over a flask with some compounds that perhaps shouldn't have been stored near the forge fire. (In Hiccup's defense, he had been rather distracted by Astrid at the time). Well used to saving Hiccup from his absent minded tendencies, Toothless had grabbed his boy's shirt and pulled him out of the forge just in time. However even Toothless would have to admit that he'd never seen his boy create quite so large an explosion before, let alone one that apparently summoned Giants in its wake.
"…Well" The metal giant speaks, despite the lack of recognisable mouth. "That's never happened before."
After the initial misunderstandings (DEMON! KILL IT!), both the Berkians and the more sane of the two summoned giants ('Ah, that's Ratchet, don't mind him, he's always like that'), arrive at the horrifying conclusion that Hiccup and the second giant ('Hi, I'm Wheeljack! … Are those dragons?') are far, far too alike to be safe in close proximity. Astrid and Toothless need only to see how well they are getting along in the first few minutes to know that Hiccup is never to be left alone with Wheeljack, and both of them make a silent pledge to each other to ensure his safety. Unfortunately for their sanity (and Ratchet's), over the next few weeks, as Wheeljack and Hiccup pool their resources (allowing Hiccup to learn far too much about things that explode for Stoick's liking), it is obvious that returning both Giants to their home will take a leeeeetle longer than expected. Both Ratchet & Wheeljack are slightly cagey about where they are from, and only Hiccup really begins to grasp exactly where (or more accurately when) their guests hail from and what it might take to return them home. In the meantime, the Berkians are Vikings, and it was not all that long ago that random fires were commonplace – they adapt, and the dragons do as well.
(When the portal finally opens to take them home, it takes Toothless helping Astrid to sit on Hiccup to stop him going with. Wheeljack does promise another visit if he can though.)
