"Hobbes! Where are you, you dumb butt?" Calvin tossed aside a smelly piece of rolled up junk and cringed when it crashed into part of a drum set.

"Calvin! You better not be making a mess!"

"Geez, it's just for the…um….histor-no wait, science project!"

"Well I'm glad to hear you're doing homework!"

Calvin ignored her and kept on looking for Hobbes. Where could he be? Hobbes, you stupid tiger, I wanted to show you my new improved water balloon launcher I just finished! If you don't come out, this will dissolve our bond of democracy, since you are NOT treating me equally! Calvin continued muttering about how he was going to brutally murder Hobbes for wasting a good sunny afternoon of water balloon launching.

Ding Dong! "Calvin! Your friend Susie is here! She says she has something important to tell you!"

"Darn that Susie Derkins! Why do I have to go talk to her?" Calvin started preparing his 'ultimate water balloon launcher' and a couple of balloons to fill up later outside. Now all I need is Hobbes…

"Calvin! Get down here! Susie says she has something very important of yours. You better not bring any water balloons!"

Darn.

Calvin leaped down the stairs and almost barreled into Susie. She smiled innocently, but Calvin knew there was pure evil behind that face.

"Now play nice, kids!" Calvin's mom slammed the door. He whirled around.

Locked out of his own house.

"Hey Calvin, I found Hobbes in front of my door!" Susie held up Hobbes by one arm.

Calvin tried snatching him away from the throngs of evil, but Susie was too quick.

"Not so fast, dipstick! I want something too!" Calvin winced. He could practically see Hobbes blowing a raspberry at him while Susie hid him behind her back.

"As payback for all 862 snowballs you threw at me –"

"You actually keep track?"

"Yeah, I need to know how much I can sue you for when I get older for, um, I think it was called, oh yeah! A salt. That's what Daddy said."

"A salt?"

"Yup!" Calvin was busily trying to think of the last prank he pulled that involved salt, pepper, or French fries.

"….well…not if I sue you first because I'm older!"

"Oh yeah? When's your birthday?"

"Not telling."

"Mommy says if a person doesn't tell you something that means they don't want you to know that you're right."

"Umm this argument is completely pointless! I demand a rematch!"

"How can you have a rematch argument?"

"Argghhh! Just hand over Hobbes already!"

"Nope!" Susie dangled Hobbes over Calvin's head. He growled in frustration since Susie was wearing her 3 inch flip flops and clumsily tried to stay upright. However, she ended up taller than him. Susie grinned triumphantly.

Then she got tackled.