Wrath

You give me the anger.
You give me the nerve.
Carry out my sentence.
While I get what I deserve.

- "Sin" - Nine Inch Nails

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What to do when you love someone so much that you can't even stand it?

What to do when that person loves someone else?

I hated that Potter boy, for everything he ever did.

I hated him and his cronies for cursing me every chance they got, and I hated how inflated his head seemed to be.

But most of all, I hated him for taking her away from me.

How could she leave me to rot away, every moment, every day.

I was nothing without her.

How could she do this to me?

I loved her so much, truly I did.

From the day we met, the day I had the courage to talk to people who weren't in my family.

And the day I told her she was a witch, how she stared into my eyes for the longest time, as if I was something that could be loved, instead of the despicable creature that I am today.

The way she didn't care that I had no proper clothing, that I wasn't "cool", like the stupid Potter boy.

Maybe it's my fault, in a way.

I did call her a mudblood, I don't know what made that come out of my mouth.

I don't know what kept me from thinking of her that way either.

It wasn't as if she was pure, like my friends.

She was related to those idiot muggles, like my idiot father.

My father who kept me locked away, me being the "freak" that I was.

How I despise those muggles who didn't understand that wizards were the powerful ones.

Like her stupid sister, who kept calling us freaks.

What an idiot. What was her name?

Petunia.

I hate petunias.

But lilies, I love those. The fragrant beauty, so pure, so wonderful.

I love the smell of lilies.

They are exactly like the enticing aroma that surrounds her wherever she goes, a natural perfume.

Until it mingles with the poisoned air that fills Potter's head and floats around him.

Stupid, stupid Potter. Idiot Potter.

How I despise that boy.

I don't even have the heart to call him a man.

I spit at his feet.

Idiot that he is, he deserves it.

His name curls my tongue, and tastes bitter when I say it.

And his idiot friends that he surrounds himself with.

Black, who shamed his honorable family, Lupin, that loser werewolf who almost killed me.

Pettigrew, that boy with no brains.

His brain must contain nothing but air.

Better than Potter, I suppose, whose brain contains noxious fumes.

That toxic waste dump of a boy.

Everything bad in the world must have gone into his making.

Valiant, courageous. Ha! I laugh at the names they call him.

He is a stupid coward, who only saves others to save himself.

How could she love him? How could she?

They will pay for this.

For turning me into this.

They will pay.

A/N So for those of you who didn't figure it out, the pairing in this story is Snape/Lily, although I think I made that pretty clear...