We never had the best relationship. We both knew that. There wasn't anything that we could do about it. I suppose we egged it on, but it was great for a little bit and then it was good, until it wasn't anymore. Even at its worst there was still that spark.
Saying that we fought a lot was an understatement. We threw punches and shed blood. None of this was premeditated. We swore that we wouldn't hit each other after that first fight. After that first fight we didn't hit each other again, for a while. When we did it was worst then before. There was no stopping us. Neither of us could control ourselves. The drugs probably didn't help matters. We tried to stop it all, the drugs and the fighting. But when we stopped fighting the crank called our names and when we stopped the crank we couldn't breath without fighting. There was a huge connection and neither of us had any control of our actions.
No one could say that we didn't love each other, though. Perhaps not the most orthodox one though. There wasn't a day that passed where all we did was fight. We had a great sex life. The worse fight we had the better the sex was. There was a reason that we fit together. We had so much in common. You said once that we were the same person. At the moment I had thought it was a good thing, but later I realized that we were both very aggressive people who needed to be tamed. There was no way that we could have worked, but we tried over and over again. It was wrong for us to be together but neither of us could be told what to do.
There was no way that we could stop seeing each other. We tried many times though. One of us got pissed and wanted to leave and for a good reason, but the other said that we would fix it and if that didn't work we would get into a fight and end up fucking against a wall. I remember one time that I left because you said that I was a junkie whore and I stormed out of the house, but before I got you grabbed my arm and pulled me back and one thing led to another we were rolling around on the floor beatin' the shit out of each other. We were crazy to be together and we both knew it. The morning after that fight we talked and we both promised I t would be different. I knew we were just fooling our selves. Your temper is just as bad as mine. I couldn't handle that any more so I left. That's what I told myself, but I knew it was wrong.
You were passed out on the bed so I gathered up a few things and left before you woke up. It took you two days to find me in a bar in the next town. You stormed in and wailed on the guy I was talking to. I never told anyone this but when I saw you do that for me I was turned on. I never said anything because I was so pissed off at you for being an ass. I also remember rushing into the same bar and beat a girls ass because she left her name and number on your hand. We were a crazy match and oddly we fit.
I knew that our match would kill us, but I didn't expect it to end like it did. I am so pissed off at you because you left me alone in this shit hole and no one is there to fight with me. I am being reckless and I know it, but I can't help it. There is no one there to keep me in check like you did. I always had you there to keep me from dying. I wasn't there for you. I wasn't there to piss you off at me. You wouldn't have been there if you were home fighting with me. It doesn't matter now.
GOODBY LOVE
