What is this, my third story that I've started and have no idea how to finish?

But... Ilikeitalot. D: So I'm posting it.


And I'll be anything you ask and more
Going hey hey hey hey hey
It's not a miracle we needed
And no I wouldn't let you think so

-1901 by Phoenix


He woke up with Tsunade's boobs directly above his head in a sterile hospital room. She was talking to Sakura, who was on his other side, and Naruto- looking sufficiently beat up- was sitting in a chair behind her.

"He's awake," Tsunade said, and backed off to do all sorts of medical-y stuff, like peer at Sasuke's eyes and check on some of his limbs, which were pretty bruised-looking actually. "Morning, sunshine."

Sakura stared at Sasuke with something akin to fear.

Naruto was asleep in the chair, Sasuke suddenly realized, when he let out a loud snore.

Tsunade flicked Naruto on the shoulder and Naruto snapped awake, clutching his shoulder.

Haha, what a baby.

"OW! Baa-chan! Oh- the teme's awake!"

For the briefest moment, he looked excited and even sort of happy.

And then he clammed up. He sat back down and looked away, like he couldn't stand to see Sasuke.

Which was when Sasuke remembered how hard he had tried to kill Naruto. When had that been?

As if reading his mind, Tsunade checked a calendar. "You've been out for a week."

A week?

"What happened?"

He sounded like a frog. Well, that's what he got for a week of being comatose.

...And he didn't remember anything after throwing a Chidori at Naruto's Rasengan and a huge explosion and some sort of strange nonverbal understanding he and Naruto had come to. Sasuke really didn't know how to describe it.

"Kakashi-sensei came just in time to completely knock you out," Sakura said. She stepped away like she was afraid to touch him. "He stopped the fight."

"Postponed," Naruto corrected her.

Tsunade seemed unperturbed, only continued to stare at Sasuke like she could see straight through him. Sakura froze, except for her chin, which went all wobbly like she was going to cry.

"I'm surprised you know such a big word," Sasuke said.

"There's a lot you don't know."

I hate this place. I want to get out.

"Naruto, get out," Tsunade said, keeping her eyes on Sasuke. Like he could even get as far as the window with the Slug Sannin/Godaime Hokage on his heels. He was good, but he knew he wasn't that good. "What is that, the fourth time I have told you to stay away?"

Naruto got up without a fight, which surprised Sasuke more than the dobe knowing a complicated word like postponed. The door slammed on his way out, prompting a scolding from Sakura who had been pushed toward the door by Tsunade.

"Uchiha Sasuke," the Godaime said. "You are officially under house arrest for the next six months. These chakra handcuffs will remain on you for the next two years. ANBU will guard you while under house arrest, and I make no promises that I won't be having them tail you for years after that." She paused. "Your status as a Genin has been revoked... I'm afraid there's no way I can ever let you be a ninja again. You are young, and I'm... not very hard on children- don't look at me like that, you are no more a man than I am- but do you understand that this is letting you off? Anyone else would have been locked up for the rest of their life."

"Because I'm the last Uchiha."

She tilted her head to the side like she was weighing her options. "Well, yeah. We want you out there reproducing, after all. That, and you're Naruto's friend. Kami. You nearly killed him and he sat here at your hospital bed until you woke up. I'm pretty sure he didn't sleep. Definitely didn't shower." She waved her hand in front of her nose and crinkled up her face, and Sasuke understood perfectly. Naruto smelled after a day on a mission. After a week being in the same room with him would definitely be the equivalent of some level of hell. "Anyway. The Council is your friend, because of your lineage. I am not. I said I wasn't hard on children, but that doesn't mean I particularly like you or will do anything beyond what I have."

"I understand."

Naruto had sat at his bedside?

Sasuke hated him even more. Friends? Hardly. He didn't even know what to call Naruto anymore. Friends felt wrong. Best friends felt closer, but so did enemies...

He wanted to go someplace else. Leave here. Be anyplace else but Konoha.

Tsunade smiled brightly, obviously aware of his hatred.

"Good! Tenzou, take him home please."

A man in an ANBU mask waited by the door. They walked, because Sasuke couldn't leap over roofs like normal.

Wherever he walked, the roads fell silent. He passed by girls who formerly leapt at him and they drew back. Everywhere he went, he was followed by a hushed whisper.

"That's him, that's the boy who ran away to join Sound-"

"Why would he do that?"

"We just built the village back up after they attacked us and he runs off to join them?"

"Traitor."

This word was hissed at him multiple times. He wiped spit off his shirt twice, and would have to clean chicken dumplings out of his hair once he got home.

I don't care what these losers think. Sound is more powerful, who cares what they've done? I need to get stronger.

He stared at the bracelets and sighed. Tenzou ignored him, only opened the door of his apartment for him.

"I will be out here," he told Sasuke. "The Council feels you deserve some privacy."

From the way Tenzou said it, it was clear that he didn't.

Sasuke hated the Council.

"You can come in if you want."

"No, thank you," Tenzou said politely.

Sasuke shut the door and flopped down on his bed-

"Augh!"

"Look before you sit, teme!"

"What the hell are you doing in my house?"

"It's a freaking apartment. I know you like to pretend things are grander than they are, but it's an apartment. And didn't baa-chan mention?"

"Be respectful, dobe. The Go-dai-me," Sasuke said slowly and clearly just to bug Naruto. "And no. She didn't."

"Well, looks like I'm staying with you. Seems like my power was just so awesome that it worried them, and they want to keep me under... sur- surv-"

"Surveillance?" Sasuke filled in.

Like they were friends, or something.

"Yeah. That. They want to keep me under... sur-veil-lance too. Like I didn't use it to protect the village, but whatever. Thing is, after the Chuunin exams we are severely lacking in resources and there aren't enough ANBU to keep enough stationed at my house and your house. So looks like we're spending some time together."

"You're not under house arrest, are you?"

"No."

"So... you're not stuck here like me?"

"I was defending the village, after all."

"So... you can leave."

"Yes."

Sasuke tried to pick Naruto up but without chakra Naruto was too heavy for him. Instead he ended up awkwardly pushing him towards the door. They sort of hung like that for a while, Naruto not budging and Sasuke using everything he had without chakra to try to push him.

They didn't move.

"Get out. I want to be alone, and this is a one-room apartment."

There was another bed, right next to Sasuke's, which was why he hadn't noticed it before.

"Why weren't you on your own bed, anyway?"

"Eh, yours is way more comfy," Naruto said, stretching out and putting his arms behind his head to show how bored he was with Sasuke's feeble attempts to forcibly evict him. Sasuke's nose was immediately assaulted with something that, if bottled, could easily be a devastating weapon of war.

"And take a shower! Kami, you smell like- like- like something died- and rolled around in... I don't know... moldy vegetables, or something-"

"Fine, I'll go take a shower." Naruto rolled on his ankles so that Sasuke's arms weren't holding him up anymore. Sasuke fell forward, flat onto the floor, in a rather undignified manner. He ran his hands through his hair in frustration... it was greasy and gross-feeling.

And, speaking of showers, Sasuke felt pretty gross himself.

"Don't use up all the hot water!"

"Fine, teme," Naruto waved him off.

"How are you so at home in my apartment?"

"Just am," Naruto shrugged. "Not like my apartment was really a home. I was happy to leave it, actually. My landlady hates me because... well, never mind," Naruto said, and suddenly he lost any smugness he'd had after winning the little altercation they'd just had. "I'll... go take my shower now."

Sasuke nodded, wondering vaguely about the change, and flopped back down on his bed. It was like they were back to normal, almost, but somehow different. A little more awkward. A little less friendly. Now, when Sasuke called Naruto stupid, he wanted it to hurt. And Naruto... Naruto hardly insulted Sasuke at all.

If only I was in Sound.

He rolled over and buried his face in his pillow.

...It smelled like Naruto, somehow. Not smelly like Naruto currently, but like... like he was sleeping on top of Naruto's jacket, which he found out he actually was upon rolling over, and which he promptly picked up and tried to Goukakyou no Jutsu it back to hell where somebody as annoying as Naruto had surely come from, but remembered he was unable to use chakra when a sharp pain shot up through his arms.

...Damn.

He tossed it across the room as far as he could, which, it being a recalcitrant (just like its owner!) piece of clothing, decided was about three feet away. Sasuke felt rather pathetic. He rolled over, and Naruto was right.

His bed was comfy. He sighed, and was suddenly absolutely exhausted.

I've been out for a week... why am I so tired?

The answer came. I'll be tired for the next year, because these chakra-sucking bracelets are overzealous and are draining a little too much.

Which might have been a plot on the part of Tsunade, actually, but whatever. He just needed a little sleep...