Macbeth: The Out Takes
A silly RW crossover
by CypherCA
Okay, this is what happens when you study for a BIG Macbeth final, and then read a bunch of silly RW fiction. This has nothing to do with any of my other fics, and I don't own the Ronins or Macbeth. The location is represented as so: Act.Scene. Enjoy.
1.1
1st Witch:: When shall we three meet again. In thunder, lightning, or in rain?
2nd Witch:: When the hurlyburly's done, when the battle's lost and won.
3rd Witch:: Um.......where am I?
1st Witch:: No! That's not your line!
3rd Witch:: *removes hood to reveal Cye* Well, someone just grabbed me, put me in this robe, and shoved me on the set.
2nd Witch:: Damn it! She's run off to the bars again.
1st Witch:: Well, *looks at Cye* I guess he'll do. Make-up! *Cye is surrounded by make-up people and he disappears in a cloud of white powder*
1.3
1st Witch:: Where hast thou been, sister?
2nd Witch(Cye):: *grumbles* I'm not going to do this.
3rd Witch:: Yes you are.
1st Witch:: *has Cye in choke hold* You. Are. Going. To. Do. The. Lin-
Blond Model:: I'm back. *Cye, 1st, and 3rd Witch look at the model*
3rd Witch:: Where the hell have you been?!!
Blond Model:: Out getting a quick drink before we started.
1st Witch:: *drops Cye* We're already in Scene Three!!!!!!!
Blond Model:: Well, just get that nice young man out of my clothes and I'll be ready. *make-up and costume first surround Cye, then the Model*
Cye:: *blushing and trying to cover his sudden indecency* Um, could some one please give me something to wear.
3rd Witch:: *turns to Cye* Why? I think that's a good look on you.
Cye:: *whimper*
2nd Witch(Blond Model):: Oh, leave him be. He was kind enough to fill in for me. *grabs an extra Banquo costume* Here you go. Run along now. *Cye picks up clothes and runs like the dickens* Now, shall we start?
1.4
Duncan:: Is execution done on Cawdor? Are not those in commission yet returned?
Malcolm:: My liege, they are not yet come back. But I have spoke with one that saw him di-
Kento:: *in prisoner wardrobe* What the hell do you want?! Stay away from me with that *swipe* *Kento looks at the now headless statue* axe!
Axeman:: You are the Thane of Cawdor, and you were supposed to die already!!!
Kento:: *running again* Man, I wish I had my armor. *axeman chases after him out of the throne room*
Duncan:: Well, this scene is ruined.
1.6
Duncan:: See, see! Our honoured hostess! *pointing to Mia*
Mia:: How did I get here?
Duncan:: Er, I didn't finish.
Mia:: *clueless* Finish what?
Lady Macbeth:: *enters* Who are you and what are you doing in my scene?!
Mia:: *looks at L. Mac.* I'm trying to figure out what's going on.
Lady Macbeth:: SECURITY!
Mia:: Eep.
2.3
Macduff:: *to L. Mac. and Banquo* Our royal master's murdered!
Lady Macbeth:: Woe, alas! What, in our house?
Sekhmet:: *running by with only a shirt and boxers* WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!! THE END IS COMING!! AAAAAHHHHHHHH*clang* *Porter stands over fallen Sekhmet with the now dented bell he was ringing*
Porter:: You were saying?
Banquo:: *ahem*
3.1
*Macbeth is talking to the three murderers*
Murderer 1:: *taps Murderer 3 on the shoulder* Psst. You're line.
Murderer 3:: *turns to Macbeth* I won't let you kill innocent people!! Not anymore!! *pulls off murderer garment to reveal Dais*
Murderer 2:: Who are you?
Dais:: I'm a Ronin Warrior, sworn to pro-*Murderer 1 has a knife at his throat*
Murderer 1:: Where's Murderer 3?
Dais:: *gulp* Uh, in the closet.
Macbeth:: *sigh*
3.2
Lady Macbeth:: Is Banquo gone from court?
Servant:: How should I know lady?
Lady Macbeth:: *snaps* Is that how you talk to your mistress, slave?!
Servant:: Look lady, I'm no one's slave.
Macbeth:: *enters with Servant* Sorry we're late. We had some problems with that Dais guy. *Lady Macbeth looks from Servant one to Servant two*
Lady Macbeth:: If that's the Servant, then who are you? *confused*
Servant:: Yuli.
Cale:: *suddenly appears* DIE YOU ANNOYING BRAT!!! *goes after a now fleeing Yuli*
Lady Macbeth:: Let's try this again.
3.4
*Macbeth enters and a ghost is sitting, filling up the last seat*
Macbeth::The table's full.
Lennox:: Here is a place reserved, sir.
Macbeth:: Where?
Ghost:: You can have my seat. I don't even know why I was summoned here. *whole cast looks at him*
Macbeth:: If you are not the ghost of Banquo, who are you?
Ghost:: I'm called the Ancient.
Voice:: Ancient? Where did you go? Stupid old castles can be-*body of voice comes around corner, it is another ghost* Here you are. I've been looking everywhere for you.
Ancient:: Do you know where we are?
Voice:: Haven't a clue.
Lennox:: Who're you?
Voice:: Anubis.
Lord 3:: And you're both.....ghosts? *Anubis nods head, all except for Lady Macbeth faint*
Ancient:: I guess we should go.
Lady Macbeth:: Yes, you should. *the two disappear, and she looks at the men on the floor* Superior sex indeed.
3.5
1st Witch:: Why, how now, Hecate, you look angerly.
Hecate:: *ignores her*
2nd Witch:: *whispers* Your line. *Hecate turns her head, revealing the long, blue hair rolled up in a bun*
Hecate(Kayura):: What the ^&*^& is going on?!
3rd Witch:: Oh great. We summoned the worst bitch in the universe, not the worst witch.
4.1
2nd Witch:: Double, double, toil and trouble.
3rd Witch:: Imbecile! That's the title to the Olsen twin's Halloween movie. *all shudder at the name of the two blonds*
#Later#
Hecate:: Like elves and fairies in a ring, enchanting all that you put in. *calls spirits*
Badamon:: What do you wish of my neither spirits?
Hecate:: *stares* How did I call you?
Badamon:: I have no clue.
Hecate:: *takes long, hard look* Hmmm...want to come over to my place? Maybe we can.....get to know each other's shawls.
Badamon:: Uh......*sly grin, suddenly realizing what she meant* Sure. *both disappear*
1st Witch:: Great, now the scene really is ruined.
#Even Later#
All Witches:: Come, high or low; thyself and office deftly show.
*first Apparition appears, an armored head*
Talpa:: I will have the Ronin armors.
Macbeth:: *Dr. Evil like* Right.
*Talpa leaves, and the second Apparition appears, a naked child covered in blood that is bald*
Sage:: AAAAAAHHHHHH!!! WHAT HAPPENED TO MY HAIR?! AND WHY AM I NAKED?!
3rd Witch:: Oops. Sorry girls, that's my date later tonight. *Witches stare*
*Sage disappears and the third Apparition appears with a crown, royal robe, and a tree in his hand*
Rowen:: Ohhh. Birnam wood. This stuff is hard to find. *removes crown, tears start to form in his eyes* They like me! They really like me! *Macbeth stares*
Macbeth:: HE'S supposed to be my downfall?!
2nd Witch:: Boy, this scene is the most screwed up of them all.
5.1
Lady Macbeth:: *sleep walking* Yet here's a spot.
Doctor:: Hark, she speaks! I will ser down what comes from her, to satisfy my remembrance the more strongly.
Lady Macbeth:: Out, damned spot! Out, I say! *Nurse looks at floor*
Nurse:: Hey, there really is a spot there. AAAAHHHH!! *jumps into Doctor's arms as a White Tiger runs into the room*
White Blaze:: Boy, that spot won't come out easily. I knew I should've gone to the dungeon. Ryo's not going to be happy. *Ryo walks in and sees the spot*
Ryo:: White Blaze!!! *tiger runs down the stairs* I'll deal with you later. *disappears and reappears with a soapy water and a towel, and starts to rub the spot with the soapy towel* It would help if you would move lady.
Lady Macbeth:: *still sleepwalking* Yet here's a spot!
Ryo:: I can see that. Stop complaining. Grrr. *rubs spot harder* Out, damn you!
Doctor:: *still holding nurse* You know, if she's out here, that means that her bedroom is unoccupied. *Nurse and Doc look at each other before running into the dark bedroom*
5.7
Malcolm:: *saying big final speech*.......What's more to do, which would be planted newly with-*loud clanking is heard from the field, every one looks and sees nine boys in full armor, the outlines of two ghosts, a white tiger, a boy, and Talpa running away from a pissed off Mia and Kayura*
Mia:: GET BACK HERE YOU COWARDS!!!
Kayura:: YEAH! YOU HAVE YARD WORK AND CLEANING TO DO!!!! YOU'RE NOT GETTING OUT OF IT THIS TIME!!!
Ryo:: Is it just me, *pant, pant* or are they getting faster?
Talpa:: It's not just you.
Cale:: A pissed off Mia and Kayura is worse than Talpa ever was.
Talpa:: You said it.
Mia and Kayura:: I HEARD THAT!!!
Rowen:: *glances back* Shit! Run faster guys, they're gaining on us! *all of them disappear into the sunset, leaving a very stunned Malcolm and crew behind*
hehehe. The poor Ronins. Oh well. If they're lucky, they won't be in another Shakespear fic any time soon.
Rowen:: I hope not.
Awe, did my favorite Ronin not like being the third Apparition?
Rowen:: NO!
Look at it this way, at least I didn't give you Sage's part.
Sage:: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT TO MY HAIR!!!
Believe it baby. Hehe. *looks at White Blaze, who is running out of the house * Uh oh.
Ryo:: WHITE BLAZE!!! *runs after tiger, then sticks head back in door* Uh, Cypher, have you noticed that the living room rug needs washing? *continues to go after White Blaze*
He better not mean what I think he means.
Cye:: Oh yuck! Cypher, have you seen what White Blaze did to the rug?!
*sigh* Kento, your turn.
Kento:: I don't want to!
Would you rather I write Romeo and Juliet and make you Juliet's handmaien?
Kento:: *runs into living room and scrubbing wet spot* Out, damned spot!
I guess that's going to be a regular line around here. Hope you enjoyed this psychotic episode of writing.
