Guys/girls/gang…I'm in a funk after reading Z's interview in 'GQ' magazine. I'm trying to write my way out of it and this is what's coming around. I need some signs of Zanessa happiness to get me back on track and back to happy 'Hawaii'. So if you have any hints that might cheer me up, please send them to me.
PM's (Private Messages for those who aren't familiar) can be sent from my profile page. Just go to my profile and click 'send message' at the top of the page.
Thanks for the encouragement, help, reviews, input, etc!
And as always, I own nothing of HSM. I have no connection to the actors, characters, writers or the awesome production crew, unfortunately, who brought this generation-changing phenomena (and especially Zanessa) to our attention.
The SUV came from nowhere blowing through the red light as though the intersection didn't even exist. The driver of the black Audi had no chance to even look sideways as the larger vehicle plowed into her. Her one saving grace, she jerked the car to the left causing the massive bumper to impact in front of the driver-side door, not directly into it.
Traffic snarled as onlookers gathered on the sidewalks gawking at the wreckage and witnesses jumped from their vehicles to assess the situation. The airbag of the Audi had pushed the young woman with flowing black curls backwards against her seat.
The first lady to reach the car noticed immediately that the female driver was unconscious, a nasty cut on her head from hitting the window on the door. Her legs were pinned in the car where the SUV remained, now attached to the Audi. Those who gathered around had a hard time discerning where one vehicle stopped and the other began.
It only took moments for numerous people to grab their cell phones and dial 911. Within three minutes police were on the scene of the normally busy L.A. intersection that was now completely still.
The owner of the SUV and his occupant sat on the sidewalk in shock. Both knew there was no excuse for what had just occurred. They were too busy searching for music on their iPods to watch the changing traffic signals. The two men could only pray that the dark haired woman was ok.
The woman who had reached the Audi first continued to stay by the car. She spoke softly to the young lady who was not responding in the front seat. "Hang on sweetheart. You hang on. You're going to be ok. The ambulance is on its way and the police are here. You just hang on sweetheart. They'll get you out of here."
The woman, in her 40's, could picture her own teenage daughter being in this predicament. She wished she knew this injured young lady so she could try to reassure her. Suddenly she thought about this young lady's parents and other family members.
She saw a cell phone in the floor of the car in front of the back seat. She gingerly stuck her arm through the shattered glass of the back door but couldn't reach the device. She tried opening the latch and found that if she gave a hearty tug she could open the door. She was able to pry the crumpled metal just wide enough to get to the phone.
Her words still continued to flow to the unconscious driver. There was no movement at all from the front seat. Rescue crews arrived as the woman discovered the speed dial list on the iPhone. She decided to simply start down the list.
She nervously hit speed dial number one and waited for a voice to answer. When it did, the answer was timid and soft.
"V…Vanessa? Nessa? Did you really mean to call me?" The woman stood holding the phone for a moment.
"Sir, I'm not Vanessa but please don't hang up. I do have her phone."
Zac was confused. "Wh-who is this? And why do you have Nessa's phone?"
"Sir," the woman started again. "There's been an accident. I think your…um…I think Vanessa is pretty badly hurt."
"Don't joke with me about this, who am I talking to?" Zac's voice quivered at the thought of Vanessa being hurt.
"Uh, my name is Hannah Davis. I was behind the young lady's car when she got hit. The rescue crews are working to get her out right now." Hannah knew she was giving the young man startling news but she wanted someone to know.
"Sir, are you her husband?" Hannah asked.
Zac hung his head. "No. No, I'm not her husband. I was her boyfriend up until a couple of weeks ago. Where did you get my number?"
"It was the first one on speed dial. I'm sorry to bother you, I'll go down her list and try someone else. Can you possibly tell me if her parents are local or not? I think they'd want to know."
"Hannah, wait, no, let me…let me get in touch with her parents. I think this news might come better from someone they know. H-how serious is this?" Zac found himself shaking with tears forming in his eyes.
Hannah's voice softened. "I'm not sure sir. I can see she's got a pretty good cut on her head. It looks like she hit her head on the window of the door. Her face looks pretty swollen. And I don't know…I think her legs are pinned in. It looks like the rescue squad is bringing the jaws of life to try and get her out."
Now rescue workers were yelling at the crowd to see if anyone knew the female driver. They were cutting her out of the vehicle and needed to get her to the hospital. Hannah stepped forward. "I'm on the phone with a friend of hers. I found her cell phone in the car and just started dialing the numbers she has stored."
Zac could hear a man's voice in the background. "Quick thinking Miss. Nice job, can that friend tell us which hospital to take her too? And what's her name? We can't get her to wake up at the moment…but that's not all bad considering her injuries."
"Vanessa" Zac said from the other side of the phone. "Her name is Vanessa." Hannah heard his tears beginning to fall.
"Mister, uh, sir? Any idea which hospital we should take her to?" Hannah asked. Her stomach was churning and she felt her own tears beginning to form with the rush of adrenaline that was pumping through her.
"Cedars-Sinai" Zac answered. "I'll, meet the ambulance there."
"Is there anyone else I can call for you? What can I do to help?" Hannah knew there was little more she could do except say a prayer.
"Just…send her cell phone with her in the ambulance, please?" Zac requested. "And…" he started softly, "please tell her that I love her."
Hannah ended the call and turned back to the car where rescuers had finally been able to free Vanessa from the wreckage. As they loaded her on the stretcher Hannah approached V's bleeding face. "Honey, hang in there." She hadn't even asked the young man's name that she had just spoken to, Vanessa's ex-boyfriend apparently. She glanced back at the redial on the phone that read simply, 'Zac'. She turned back to Vanessa. "Zac's going to call your parents. He's coming to the hospital, and he said to tell you that he loves you."
Hannah handed the cell phone to the E.M.T.'s who put it with Vanessa's purse. Anything else left in the car would have to wait. They loaded the stretcher into the ambulance and the sirens blared. "Hang in there Vanessa." Hannah spoke to herself. "Zac loves you."
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Zac wasn't sure which direction he was going. He looked at the pictures of her, of them, that still adorned his living room. He couldn't bring himself to take them down. He was still kicking himself for the entire situation that led to their breakup.
They had dated for nearly four years. They were best friends, lovers…did he mention she was the love of his life? But one line in an interview had brought that to an abrupt halt. Zac wasn't ready to say it had reached the 'end' but the relationship had become more than strained.
He remembered laughing with the reporter. The man had caught Zac on an off day. They had been talking, foul language taking over much of the conversation, about Zac's future.
The reporter had mentioned some questionable but innocent pictures that had been taken by a fan of Zac and Vanessa. He followed that mention with a short question regarding a wedding that Zac and Vanessa had attended together in Hawaii. The seasoned reporter was pulling Zac's strings when he commented, 'Everybody thought you two were getting married.' The two continued laughing and cursing.
Zac's response had been a hint of his nervousness and reservations about discussing his private life, especially the part that involved Vanessa. But the reporter took Zac's laughter the wrong way and the quote that appeared in the magazine sparked a damaging fire to the young lovers. "I'm not getting married till I'm 40." Zac had stated. "If ever."
Zac didn't regret the answer until he saw it in print. Then he certainly regretted the words, especially because Vanessa had read the article without him. She read it while standing in the line at the supermarket. The comment had come as enough of a blow for her to drop her basket of groceries and the magazine and walk out of the store in tears.
When Zac had called her that evening he knew something was wrong but she would barely even speak to him, let alone hold a conversation. What was usually a half hour conversation when they were apart lasted all of two minutes, most of that silence.
"Ness, is this about the article? You gotta give me a hint why you're mad. And I know you are. Don't lie to me, please." Zac had requested.
"Hmph." Her reply. "Why not? Apparently you've been lying to me for a while now. I know you don't wanna get married right now Zac, but 20 years from now? 'If ever.'…" she threw his words at him through the phone.
And with that she'd hung up. Zac was left staring at his phone trying to replay the small amount of words that had passed between them. He replayed the interview with the reporter and the crappy day he had had before the interview began. It all was catching up to him.
He had only spoken to Vanessa once more after that. He had called her numerous times but she didn't answer. He had gone to her house, unlocked the door and waited for her to come home. 'I should've walked over.' He realized when he saw Vanessa's car pass her own house a third time. She was obviously avoiding him, seeing his car parked in her driveway. He left and went back home.
She had shown up at his front door later that evening with tears in her eyes. She rang the doorbell and waited for him to answer. That alone caught him off guard. He tried to smile at her when he opened the door, but the look on her face made it fade quickly. She didn't offer an explanation. She simply handed him the kuippo ring that he had given her along with the key to his house that she possessed. "I'm sure there will be others that aren't looking for a commitment. I thought we had already made one. My mistake."
Zac was stunned. He stood looking at the ring and key in his hand. He couldn't even find the voice to call after her as she got into her black Audi and drove away. The lump in his throat nearly choked him. "Wh-wh-what just happened?" he asked himself.
He made his way back inside the house and picked up his phone. He sat down at the computer at the same time and left every kind of message he could think of for his girlfriend. All of them boiled down to one thing, "I'm sorry, please talk to me. Please!"
She never returned his messages. He tried for three days but she never answered him. He didn't sleep, didn't shower, barely ate and wondered if Vanessa was going through the same feelings. She hadn't even given him a chance to tell her that he loved her. They had said it before, time and time again. But now he needed to tell her more than ever, and he needed to hear it from her as well.
Three days with no contact with her. It hurt, deeply. Three days he had avoided answering any other calls on his phone, even calls from his parents. Now they were worried too. He decided to try one other person to attempt to figure this out.
"Ash? You gotta talk to me, please? Tell me what's going on in her head. Or tell me what's going on in your head. Please, I'm begging you talk to me." His raw emotions were evident on the phone. The couple's mutual friend was now feeling the other side of this heartbreak.
"Zac, it was a stupid comment. You're usually really careful with what you say, what happened this time?" Ashley's voice was stern but calming with the question.
"I don't know. It was the same day I backed out of 'Footloose'. Kenny was disappointed with me and I was disappointed with myself. I went with the reporter and he just started spewing all sorts of random stuff and I just let myself react to it. I know it's not a good excuse. I never used Nessa's name. I wasn't trying to hurt her, I was trying to keep her out of it." Zac tried to explain. At least Ashley was listening.
"But didn't you think that any talk regarding a girlfriend, or 'hooking up with some famous chick' or marriage might just include her. Even if you don't say her name Zac, people assume that's who you're talking about. Maybe it's time you start saying her name and reassure her that she IS the one you're talking about. Unless there's someone else that you're referring to, of course." Now Ashley's temper was beginning to sound. Zac expected it. And after that short tirade, he knew he deserved it.
"I screwed up big time, didn't I?" His question was innocent.
"Yeah. You made her look like a fool Zac. Without even mentioning her name, you made her look like a fool." Ashley felt her own tears running down her face again, just as they had when Vanessa had come to her house several days ago. That had been V's retreat after dropping everything in the grocery store.
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The words Ashley just told Zac were the exact ones that Vanessa had mumbled when she walked into Ash's home that day. The young women had sat on the couch, Vanessa wrapped in Ashley's arms crying and attempting to understand what was going on. Ash had tried to offer advice in Zac's favor but Vanessa wouldn't listen.
They sat in silence for what seemed like an hour that day. Finally, Vanessa had looked at her best girlfriend and chuckled a nervous laugh. "You know, this is a time that I would usually pick up the phone and tell Zac that I'm going to his place. He'd meet me there if he wasn't home already and then he would just hold me on the couch or in the bed and listen while I gripe, gripe, gripe about the crap that's making me upset." She finished the thought with a sigh. "Guess that's not happening this time."
Ashley watched with fear and amazement as Vanessa proceeded to remove the kuippo ring from her right ring finger and then pulled the keychain from her pocket and started fiddling with Zac's house key.
"Whoa, Nessa, what are you doing?" Ashley shook her head violently as Vanessa looked at her. A determined look was on Vanessa's face as she halted her actions for a moment.
"I need to give these back to him. I won't need them anymore." Vanessa had said.
"You have to talk to him about this Vanessa. You can't just walk up and hand these to him. You don't even know what was going through his mind when he said this stuff. You read the article, does any of it really sound like our Zac? Really, think about this, it sounds like this reporter was jerking Zac around over so many topics…he makes Zac sound pretty foolish if you ask me."
Vanessa's mind was already set. "Seems like I'm the foolish one. I'm done with it."
Ashley pulled the kuippo ring from Vanessa's hand as V continued to remove the key. "This," Ashley took Vanessa's chin and turned her face toward the ring in her hand, "is practically your engagement ring. It has been for like three years now. You can't just pull this off and say it's 'done.'"
Again Vanessa gave the sarcastic chuckle. "An engagement that's gonna last twenty years…IF anything EVER comes of it. Tell me Ashley, would you be willing to wait around and find out?"
Ashley put the ring down on the table in front of Vanessa. V put the key beside it. They both stared at the two, relatively simple, symbols of Zac and Vanessa's love. Ash's tears continued to flow. V's were dry, she had cried all she was going to, she thought.
Vanessa got up to leave and Ashley grabbed her hand. "Do you still love him?" Ashley asked very softly. The tears that welled again in Vanessa's eyes were enough to answer the question. "Then there's still hope."
Vanessa shook her head and left Ashley's house without another word.
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"There's nobody else Ashley, you know that. She knows that. I know it was a stupid comment. I never should've made it." Zac continued.
"But you did. Think hard Zac. Something in your heart must've made you make that comment. Is there any bit of seriousness in it? Are you having second or third or fourth thoughts about marrying Vanessa? Have you guys even discussed marriage, recently?"
Zac thought back. They were always mentioning something to each other about marriage. They always joked about it, knowing that somewhere – down the road – they would be married. The only real serious conversation they had ever had though was in Hawaii, when they bought the matching kuippo rings.
The rings were a sign of their friendship and growing relationship at the time. Zac had assured Vanessa that he would one day replace her kuippo ring with an engagement ring. That's how sure he was about their love. And that's why Vanessa wore that ring on every occasion that she could.
"No." Zac answered simply. The one word covered all of Ash's questions. "And now she won't listen to me, even if I try." Zac's head hung low.
"I hate to say it Sweetheart, but you're right." Ashley told him. "Give her a little space Zac. Give her a couple of weeks and try again. I know she loves you. That's never going to change. But this cut her really deep. It's going to take a lot of work on your part to try and make up for this." Ashley stopped and listened to Zac's breathing, somewhat ragged on the other end.
"You want a role that's more challenging? I'd say you've put yourself into one… a real one… and you didn't even have to audition. If you really love her Zac, this is going to take time and effort."
Zac was nodding his head. He couldn't even get Vanessa to listen to him. She may have read his e-mails or IM's but there had been no response. "I will give her some space Ashley, but I need your help, a promise from you."
"What's that?" Ashley asked curiously.
"Everytime you see her, or talk to her on the phone…I need you to tell her that I love her. If she won't listen to me, I need you to tell her that. I'll try not to bother her, but I won't promise that. She'll still get e-mails and voice mail messages from me but I won't try to corner her. At least not for a little while. As long as you will promise to tell her that for me – every day."
"I'll do my best." Ashley answered as she wiped away a few tears.
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Zac knew Ashley had done her best. For two weeks now he had gotten little messages from their friend letting him know that Vanessa's reaction hadn't changed. Everytime Ashley mentioned Zac's love to Vanessa, V's jaw had set and the tears came to her eyes.
She still wouldn't talk to Zac and didn't want to see him. She still wouldn't answer his voice mails or e-mails although she kept all of them. It was at least a chance for her to hear his voice…and the same was true for Zac. Leaving messages afforded him the opportunity to simply hear her.
Those thoughts suddenly slammed shut in Zac's mind. He picked up the phone for another reason this time. His hands shook as he looked through the numbers on the screen of his iPhone. 'Gina & Greg' was the number he pushed. He simply hoped they would answer a call from him right now.
As the phone rang Zac grabbed his wallet and headed toward his car. He had to get to the hospital. He had to see Vanessa. One last thought passed through his mind. This thought sent him running up the stairs to his bedroom. He grabbed Vanessa's kuippo ring and situated it on his pinky finger. He prayed he would have the opportunity to give it back to her.
Gina answered the phone to Zac's relief. "Hello."
"Gina, it's Zac. I know you don't want to hear from me, but this is an emergency." Zac didn't want to startle her, but it was going to happen, no matter what words he chose.
"What kind of emergency Zac?" Gina's question was less than interested in what Zac had to say.
"Vanessa, she's apparently been in an accident. They're taking her to Cedars-Sinai. I hope that hospital is ok for you guys." Zac stopped there.
"My Baby…what? What kind of accident? Have you two been fighting again?" Gina wasn't sure what she was saying or asking.
"I don't know the details. I'm heading to the hospital right now. Please just meet me there." Zac pleaded.
"Do you know anything at all? I mean, what kind of accident…Zac, is she alive?"
Zac heard the catch in Gina's throat. He didn't want to think about that question. He just wanted to get there and hold Vanessa in his arms and make it all better. Yet he still needed to answer Vanessa's mother.
"A woman called me using Vanessa's cell phone. Ness was apparently driving and got hit. They had to use the jaws of life to get her out and she was unconscious at the time. The rescue workers asked me what hospital and I just told them Cedars-Sinai. I hope that's ok."
"Um-hmmm" Gina mumbled through her tears. Zac heard her talking to someone else. He assumed it was Greg. A male voice quickly appeared on the phone.
"Why did they call you?" he asked pointedly. Zac could tell they were rushing around, probably trying to get themselves out the door.
"I'm apparently still the first number in her speed dial." Zac said quietly. "Greg, I'm going to meet you at the hospital. Please don't try to stop me. I still love your daughter, no matter how she, or you, feels about me. I still love her."
