I'm guilty as charged. I'm downright stupid at Math. I'm not even joking. Anything that have numbers and require formula of counting, get out... I'm an idiot at that. Why? Because it requires you to brainstorm and flip over. And math can't be read... It's all in numbers and x and y and whatever the fck other single letters but still can't be read.
Why am I telling you guys this? Because I just had a math test. And I screwed it up badly yeah.
I'm good at English (Well, considering I'm also a writer from this site) whilst others are helpless in it. But I'm completely dumb in math... Or physics. Who the hell care about matrix? What will matrix do in our lives?! Damn! What's the difference to count it!? Tell me, why I should flip the second matrix while let the first matrix be to count whatever the fck adj A?
Seriously, WHAT WILL MATRIX DO IN OUR LIVES!? IS IT USEFUL!? WILL WE DIE IF WE DON'T LEARN IT!? WHOEVER INVENT THIS STUPID CURICULUM!? *Hurls my math book to the corner*.
And what about line and column? Will we die if we don't know what comes after 3, 5, 7, 9...?
If it about bank interest then, that is still useful (never mind I also don't understand it) but what about Matrix? Dammit Matrix!
Icy: Spare your readers from your ranting. Oh my God, Alsheon...
Fi: I'm burning with righteous fury, little Als I'm with you! Who the hell invent those matrix!?
Edward: rather than depressing about your math test, isn't it better if you rest milady? Your fever is still hasn't coming down...
Me: out of question! My ADHD is kicking and my fingers and brain should work!
*Raging breath* DAMN YOU MATRIX! I HOPE YOU DIE BY YEARS! DIE WHEN EVERYONE ABANDON YOU!
Fi: YEAH! BURN TO THE HELL YOU GODDAMNED CURICULUM!
Nirina: It's the first time I saw so much hatred invented for a matrix...
Thun: She's just simply stupid yet blaming the matrix.
Me: SHUT UP! YOU'RE ESSENTIALLY ME!
Thun: I resent that! *thunderous voice* We're part of the better part of your brain, while currently you're cooping in the lesser parts.
Nat: Enough you two! Spare the poor readers from this identity crisis case!
Me: I'm normal! My mind is healthy! You guys are the one who were supposedly keep me mentally HEALTHY!.
Mai: So, now you're blaming us!?
Austin: *restrains ma from going savage* Alright ladies, I'm fed up with this mental brawlings! We go to the story now okay?!
Autumn In My Name
Pairings: Su Muqiu/Ye Xiu.
Tags: Angst (you don't believe I could do that done you?), Character Death, I can't think any other tags, It's depressing, can't say it's a good ending, We haven't develop digital tissues so... I'm not providing any.
Disclaimer: Quan Zhi Gao Shao © Butterfly Blue
Warning: Typos might be unavoidable (But I've tried my best), Grammar is an issue but I think it could be understood?
Autumn In My Name.
.
Raindrops outside hits the earth, bellowing angrily. Wind howling fiercely challenging anyone who dared to venture outside. Lightning flashed and thunder roared.
The flash of lightning outside fell on the horror and disbelieve-stricken face.
Ye Xiu's hand fell to his side whilst the phone he was holding crashed to the floor scattered to bits. His mind blanked whilst his hollow eyes gazed out onto the fierce and noisy rain outside.
His ears are ringing with a kind like ultrasonic sounds despite the noisy weather outside, giving him a feeling of emptiness... But maybe that's not entirely wrong, his heart is empty now. The heartbeats become frantic then calm then frantic again as if losing the control because of that something missing.
Frantic... Then calm before repeating... It's as if his own heart trying to save him from a possible heart attack or possibly a case where his heart suddenly stop dead. A mouthful of air can't found their way into his lungs and his face blanched white in a second.
That emotionless, even, and professional voice resounded in Ye Xiu's ears. Giving that piece of news like serving a giant icecube. Cold and indifferent, whilst still maintaining a cold majestic feeling they called professionality.
Ye Xiu's scalp go numb in coldness, he shivered unconscious of a pair of curious innocent eyes watching him. Bitter and sour taste surfacing inside Ye Xiu's tongue as his stomach churned- before a gentle hand held his wrist.
Ye Xiu blinked awake from his horror-stricken stupor to look at a young beauty whose face filled with concern.
"Ye Xiu-ge, what's happened?" Su Mucheng asked in worry, slipping into her affectionate nickname. Ye Xiu's reaction after the phonecall made the young beauty mind filled with wild speculation, but she doesn't want to jump into conclusions and lost herself.
Ye Xiu stared at her, her voice reached him but he doesn't know how to react. Exactly how do you react again?
The hand that's gripping his wrist tightened, "Ye Xiu? Why are you crying?" Su Mucheng asked, becoming more uneasy as she bites her lips anxiously.
Ye Xiu wondered and traced his cheek, true... It wet in tears. Ye Xiu once again looked at her. Her clear eyes shone in worry and innocence. That eye colour is totally identical to...
"Muqiu..." Ye Xiu started. His chest become emptier after that name exitted Ye Xiu's mouth. In an instant Ye Xiu become a child again, he's completely lost on how to do this. How could she gives the devastating news to this delicate and innocent young girl?
"Mucheng... Muqiu is..." before long Ye Xiu blurted out everything he had heard from the phonecall, he recites it back in auto pilot... Even when he still doesn't believe on that news himself...
Muqiu is dead. It was an accident on road. The road is slippery and the rain obstructs vision more that anyone would expected. The impact is too much for one's body and although the first aid had been done and he had rushed to the hospital... Su Muqiu had drawn his last breath before they could reach it.
Till the very end, he can't say anything... Su Muqiu had left this world, leaving two helpless teenagers which currently are still underages. Leaving a lover and a sister to struggle in this world... Just with the two of them. Leaving a heartfelt promise he and Ye Xiu had vowed.
"No."
Su Mucheng did not take the news calmly. No one expected her to. She deny it. She refuse to believe it. Su Muqiu is her beloved brother. He had always been by Su Mucheng's side, the thought of him suddenly absent in her life is just too much and can't be accepted within a short time by her delicate mind.
She stared at Ye Xiu begging him to tell her it was just a joke. But it wasn't.
"There's no way! Such a thing! Muqiu-gege won't leave me like this!" Su Mucheng pushed Ye Xiu with all her might. Rage shone in her eyes as if Ye Xiu had just told her an unforgivable blasphemy.
She screamed, she slammed her hands onto the table, threw things that happened to be in her reach and even hitting Ye Xiu when he prevents her from doing any further, in turn she only secure her close stroking her head with immeasurable patience.
Ye Xiu only watched as she struggled before slowly melting in his embrace pouring all her grievances out in a form of tears. Ye Xiu would like to just as that. His legs are ready to give up at any time but seeing this fragile girl that Su Muqiu treasured with all his life crying her heart out. He can't.
Currently, Ye Xiu believes he's the girl's only mental support. A pillar for her to stand. If he also crumbles then she would break and lost...
The sounds of rain is still blarring outside. But inside this small house, there's only a cry of despair.
Ye Xiu had leave the room after being in five minutes in there. Leaving Su Mucheng alone in her mourning for her older brother. He despised himself. He should be strong enough to stay there accompanying Su Mucheng consoling the young girl about her lost.
But he can't deny that he himself needs some times alone. And perhaps Su Mucheng needs it too...
Ye Xiu seated himself on the bench along the hospital's monochrome corridor. His eyes are hollow and his skin is sickly pale, people who were seeing him would instantly believe if he's said to be another patient.
He weakly leaned his head back to the white wall. Eyes are still dazed staring into space, before drifted to the wet account card in his hand, the last thing Su Muqiu enthrusted to the closest person with message to give it to him.
("He struggled to say something. I think he understands his life is within the line. He said that I have to deliver it to a dark haired handsome youth for a safe keeping. You're the one he mentioned right?". The man sympathetically thrusted a familiar wet account card onto the dazed Ye Xiu's hands)
It's still feels too surreal.
Just a few hours ago he and Su Muqiu was laughing and fooling around in good mood. In just several months soon The Pro Alliance will be officially opened and they already have a plan. One Autumn Leaf and Dancing Rain will enter the proscene as a pair.
Just a few hours ago Su Muqiu kissed Ye Xiu a goodbye on the forehead.
Who knew that kiss would be the last?
Ye Xiu gritted his teeth, his hand covers his eyes real quickly. He swallowed back a whine.
Now, he's the oldest. Now Su Muqiu isn't here so he has to stay strong for Su Mucheng. The girl is young and clearly not ready to be independent having been carefully sheltered by her older brother.
He have to think about their future.
School? They didn't go to school so that variable is unneeded to be think over. What he had to think is the rent, and how they could eat two meals a day... Actually it's enough if Su Mucheng is the only one who eat two meals a day. Ye Xiu could arrange so he only need to eat once a day.
And... About the funeral cost. The thought sent a powerful punch on Ye Xiu's chest. The tears are overflowing and he hiccuped.
Every discussions, every arguments, everything they had build, every times they had share, laughters, tears, dramas, dreams, fears, love. Those memories overwhelm Ye Xiu's mind. The man he loved, the man he cared, his very real first friend... Ye Xiu didn't believe that... He would actually have to plan about that friend's funeral this soon.
"Muqiu..." that faint whisper filled with despair and desperation. Anyone who hears it could easily guess, someone dearly loved by him had gone in this hospital
Despite his resolve to stay firm, Ye Xiu still breaks into the contents.
It was a week after the funeral an uninvited guest visited their little humble house. Su Mucheng is struck speechless when she sees the same identical face. It took her a good fifteen seconds to determine that there's no way Ye Xiu had gone out and have that expensive suit on. And the youth in front of her didn't smell like cigarette smoke.
He introduce himself, Ye Qiu, a same word 'Qiu' like her late brother. Autumn...
Then, the two identical brothers met. It's not at all went all brotherly-lovely like Su Mucheng had expected, truth be told he expected twins have much closer bonds but it's not the case.
The Ye twins went all out in their thunderous arguments. One side urged the other to go back homewith him whilst the other insist to stay. Su Mucheng gave them their space. Whenever Su Mucheng argued with Su Muqiu back then, Ye Xiu gave them a space.
Ultimately, in Art of Words, Ye Xiu mastery is far exceeding his younger twin. So he wins in the end.
But no matter how hate Ye Xiu ti admits it. They're, after all, twins. They share a same womb in the same time. They grew up together, sticking to each other until preteen. And even when puberty split them a little part.
No one have the right to claim they had an ultimate understanding over Ye Xiu like Ye Qiu was and vice versa. Not even their birth parents.
And perhaps... Twins telepathy might be true...
"Are you alright?" Ye Qiu casually asked, his eyes curiously peered towards his twin.
"I would be, if only you're not here." Ye Xiu replied in snark.
"Hey I'm serious," Ye Qiu protested before almost slipped on something.
"Ah-! Ouch!" Ye Qiu regained back his balance and flinched back carefully as he sees the mess on the floor.
"So messy... Why there's a phone on he ground?" Ye Qiu grumbled and gathered the phone's pieces.
Ye Xiu's eyes snapped toward Ye Qiu after he grumbled that. His greyish charcoal eyes zeroed on the thing in the younger's hands. His heart tugged painfully as he remembered the event one week ago. Hadn't that thing is the one that conveyed the bad news to him?
Contrary to latter's popular belief. Ye Xiu didn't own a phone not because he can't afford or lazy to have it rather... He's a bit afraid of it. After hearing the news of Su Muqiu's death from a phonecall. Ye Xiu developed a slight trauma for it. It feels like if he answer a call a terribly bad news might reached his ears in an extremely cold manner like back then.
Since a week ago Ye Xiu had developed a resentment and dislike toward phones, and for a whole week both teens in the house had been to pre-occupied in their mourns to bother to clean around the house so that phone is still lifelessly scattered there. Even if Ye Xiu saw and notice the scattered remainings, he didn't care nor dare to pick it up. Ye Xiu glared at it.
"Take that away." Ye Xiu stated coldly. Ye Qiu froze at his brother's tone, his eyes slowly moved to meet his brother's. Truly surprise at the tone Ye Xiu used, years together Ye Xiu had never used a tone like that. This is the first time Ye Qiu heard Ye Xiu used that freezing cold tone.
"Why?" Ye Qiu asked carefully, inspecting the old phone in his hands.
"Whose phone is this? So shady, old!" Ye Qiu commented.
"No one's" Ye Xiu shooks his head and carelessly shrugged. But the forced change did not escape Ye Qiu's eyes.
"What? No one's phone in your house?" Ye Qiu tilted his head and secretely probbed.
"Just go home already." Ye Xiu rolled his eyes and urged.
"Why don't you go home?" Ye Qiu disdained.
"I have responsiblities here."
"The girl? Anyway a guy and a girl living in the same small house. It's quite scandalous" Ye Qiu commented.
"Home. Now." Ye Xiu hissed. A hand suddenly drapped over his left shoulder. Ye Xiu turned to see a concerned look from Ye Qiu.
"Xiu, seriously what's wrong? I'm happy if you're in a trouble, upset or unhappy... And you're unhappy" Ye Qiu started.
"Then you should be happy," Ye Xiu cutted sharply.
"But you're also sad!" Ye Qiu finished, unpetrubed by Ye Xiu's sharp cutting.
At that, Ye Xiu stayed silent. And Ye Qiu faithfully waited for Ye Xiu to respond, his eyes progressively shone in disappointment as he sees his elder brother is showing no sign to elaborate.
"Grieving..." Ye Qiu whispered. Ye Xiu turned his head sideways.
"Tell me what's wrong. I could help," Ye Qiu volunteered, his own pair of dainty hands drapped on Ye Xiu's shoulders.
Ye Xiu tensed, "By what? Telling me to run away?" Ye Xiu sharply shooted the cruel remark as a defense whilst sneering, in the back of his mind he knew he'll regret this later.
Ye Qiu relented, his hands sharply drew back in a flinch, he gritted his teeth. Frustration shone in his eyes as he growls, "Ye Xiu!"
"I'm just trying to help!" Ye Qiu bellowed.
"Help me by leave me alone." Ye Xiu snapped.
"You think I would leave you alone after you snapped at me!?" Ye Qiu snapped back. Ye Xiu snorted derisively, inwardly he wished Ye Qiu to be gone quickly. This deffense he had build up back is slowly crumbling at the mercy of Ye Qiu's understandings.
"Go away Ye Qiu," Ye Xiu growled
"Tell me about it ge!" Ye Qiu insisted. "Talking with you upsetting but seeing you grieving is even more so," Ye Qiu finished in a softer voice.
"... Just... Leave me." Ye Xiu sighed. Ye Qiu looked down and sighed, disappointed.
"Fine..." Ye Qiu slowly turned away and walked off. Relucant to leave but forced to do so.
Later on Ye Xiu finds out that he had left an envelope filled with generous amount of money to Su Mucheng.
Ye Xiu frowned, he's still the little brother Ye Xiu loved.
"It had started now huh?" Su Mucheng said softly with a smile.
"Yeah," Ye Xiu agreed leisurely as he put down the document of his identity and looked out of the window.
"So how was it going?" Su Mucheng asked eagerly. Her pretty face shone in excitement.
"It had gone smoothly." Ye Xiu lit up his cigarette and puffed out the smoke, somehow, his smirk is even more smug than the usual.
"One Autumn Leaf had entered the Pro Alliance" Ye Xiu proudly twirled the account card in his hand. "I'm one step closer to our dream." Ye Xiu remarked.
Su Mucheng softly smiled, that 'our' obviously not reffering to her.
"You can do it Ye Xiu!" Su Mucheng encouraged cheerfully.
"Of course!"Ye Xiu laughed.
"I have to..." His eyes unwillingly glanced to another account card in front of Su Mucheng. A feeling of longing surged in his chest but he restrained himself.
Ye Xiu shifted his gaze to Su Mucheng, "From now on, call me Ye Qiu," Ye Xiu requested bluntly.
Su Mucheng gave a start, "Eh?" she straightened herself and tilted her pretty head to the side confusedly.
Ye Xiu smiled bemusedly at her then showed her an ID card with identical face to Ye Xiu but the name is Ye Qiu.
"You..." Su Mucheng is astonished.
"Yes, my brother's," Ye Xiu chuckled and inspected the card rather bemusedly.
"... Accidentally?" Su Mucheng subtly inquired. Ye Xiu smiled softly at her before turned his head back to look out of the window to the bright sky of dawn
"If my brother were to ever ask it. That will be the answer... Or perhaps other rude reasons" Ye Xiu replied.
"But in truth... I just want to have his name accompanying my future glory..." Ye Xiu admitted meaningfully toward Su Mucheng.
Su Mucheng's eyes widened before softening moistly. "For him, huh?" Su Mucheng said soberly.
Ye Xiu smiled tenderly before happily nodded
"It's the new start," Ye Xiu declared. The soft warm breeze entered through the window, ruffling Ye Xiu's dark hair.
Su Muqiu left so many thing, an amazing lover, a wonderful sister, a dream that hadn't been realised, a promise he had vowed but most of all he left Ye Xiu a new start.
.
(Far in the future, Ye Xiu laughed as he gazed at the old account card in his hand in nostalgia, Su Muqiu had left him with more than just one start.)
*wipes off sweats and tears* I finished it... Thank god.
I made sure I inserted the cannon fact about YX not owning a phone and turned it into something dramatic and heartfelt.
And I added Ye Qiu there to show you guys even Ye Xiu could be unreasonable in his grieves. I also want to show how close the Ye Twins are, But they're just too 'Tsundere' towards each other.
And Ye Qiu's appearance is semi-important to the story to give Su Mucheng a chance to know him. In the novel Su Mucheng heavily insisted that they've met before but Ye Qiu denied it by saying it was the first time they met.
The premise of this story is how I want to give a reason on why Ye Xiu chose to take Ye Qiu's name to enter the proscene. I mean, it could be because he found it too much of a hassle to make his own ID card in such a short notice... Or maybe he don't have enough money to do it. But I chose this as my headcannon!
Su Mucheng called Ye Xiu, "Ye Xiu-ge" as a term of endearment because ehem! Essentially Ye Xiu would be her future brother-in-law. Well... Used to be... She began to forget that nickname over the time for the fear it would make Ye Xiu harder to move on from her brother. She's such a sweet sister right?
I made this... Why? Because hey, it's weekend over here! And I'm bored! Yeah! But don't expect more generousity in the future because my life had gotten complicated after the mid-term.
Did this piece good? Does my feeling when writing this reach you all? Can it touch your heart?
Is this a good angst?
And good will to Su Muqiu! I'm sorry I had just made a One Shot for you my dear lord of Autumn! *Guilts keep hammering as I glanced to Huang Shaotian's section* I'm sorry my dear HuangYe...
It have to be angst huh?
Actually, I wanted to update the newest one I just write for SuMuqiu/YeXiu. But... *Stared at the hot story that I made back in 1 a.m this morning...* ugh- *blushed furiously.*
Me: Okay, who had took over my imaginative mind of genius mode in the early morning?!
Fi: I swear is not me.
Windy: not me.
Icy: weren't it you all along?
Me: Impossible, I'm too pure for that- that...
"-hn!?" Ye Xiu made a small muffled noise as Su Muqiu squeezed him tighter deepening the kiss. Su Muqiu used the opening to slip in his tongue inside Ye Xiu's mouth
Me: AAAGGGHH! ARRRGH! Who wrote it here!?
Nat: me.
Nat: and before you asked why. It's because I like inappropriate things.
Nirina: Blasphemy!
Ye Xiu choked back and silently shivered, not used to the rough and dominating kiss. He frantically squeezed Su Muqiu's pyjama and gave it quite frantic tugs, signaling he's in need for air. But to his shock, Su Muqiu seems to not notice it and instead becoming more forceful.
Fi: What's this? P*rn corner?
Icy: Language! And we don't create p*rn!
Nat: Yeah! Just a steamy make out session *cracking her fingers* I'll write another part that I like!
Me: AAARRRGHGHHH! *Blushing furiously whilst covering my face*
Thea: you're the one who wrote that though... Seriously are you bipolar?
Me: impure! Impure!
Lumina: alright guys, let's stop bullying our poor host...
