An impulsive tale of the gang in senior year through notes.
Written Down: Senior Year Notes
By lianneharmony
Chapter 1: The End of Summer
From the journal of Dorothy Ann Slater:
As a senior, I am going to be more laid-back.
I think.
And it will have nothing to do with Carlos', Ralphie's and Wanda's asinine pranks.
Keesha Franklin calling…
Hi. It's Phoebe. I'm a little busy at the moment, so, leave me a message after the tone!
Beep!
"Pheebs, it's Keesha. I've heard something hilarious. Just call me back!"
To: blackpicasso
From: thejoker
Subject: What did you tell Keesha?
No seriously, dude. What did you tell your ex?
DA will castrate you. And then she'll castrate Ralphie, me and Wanda. Now SAY!
This is why you should never remain friends with your ex. One: it's just wrong. Two: things like this happen.
-Carlos
To: thejoker
From: blackpicasso
Subject: WTF?
One: You're an idiot. You need to have balls before you can get castrated. Two: Keesha is a great girl. I'd rather be friends with her than you.
But because I'm nice (and partly because I'm sure you won't tell anyone, because then we might have a situation and I'll get the worst end of the stick which I can't have because Arnold's not a lawyer yet and thus he cannot defend me), I'll humor you. I just told her that Dorothy Ann is hot, but not my type. I hardly think she'll castrate me for it.
Although she probably will castrate you when she finds out you stole her underwear because Ralphie dared you to.
-Tim
P.S.: Sometimes, it's good to know people who can hack into your computer and steal documents on your computer about a girl you like. But I know this secret is safe with you, because you wouldn't want Dorothy Ann finding out, do you?
Carlos Ramon calling…
Hey, it's Tim.
"Tim, you're –"
You know what to do.
Beep!
"Why would you want to do this to me?"
To: thejoker
From: sportstar
Subject: You win.
Look, I'm sorry if Dorothy Ann kills you. Is it my fault we were drunk? I mean, I did some pretty outrageous stuff too. Such as moon Mr. Rhule. Good thing I didn't get expelled.
But Dorothy Ann is the last person I thought would have black knickers. Don't girls only wear them when they want to get laid?
OMFG, DA WANTS TO GET LAID! Damn.
Is it wrong that I'm secretly glad I dared you to steal her underwear?
Damn.
-Ralphie
What's her bra size?
To: sportstar
From: thejoker
Subject: Re: You Win
Yeah. You mooning Mr. Rhule. That was hilarious. Well, now we know he's only obsessed with chickens.
And I don't think DA will mind. I mean, I didn't exactly steal them. I just asked Mikey to take Evan out (little girls and their weird crushes. Poor William was furious), and right before they left I snuck into DA's room. I mean, it's not like I've never been there before. I mean, so what if it's changed from in 3rd grade?
It's inhumanly neat.
Oh, and it's 34D. Don't ask me how I know.
-Carlos
Phoebe Terese calling…
Keesha can't be bothered to answer your call. Just say what you've gotta say, and if she wants to talk to you, she'll call you. So –
Beep!
"Forget what you want to say! I was in Ralphie's room, and guess what I found out?"
(Pause)
"I wasn't doing anything in Ralphie's room."
From the journal of Arnold Perlstein:
Today was a nice peaceful day. I organized my rock collection and enjoyed the day at home, just chilling out.
Life's good.
From the journal of Dorothy Ann Slater:
Carlos is a perv.
Keesha Franklin calling…
Dorothy Ann here. I can't come to the phone right now, so please leave me a message.
Beep!
(Dial tone)
From Dorothy Ann's cellphone:
1 missed call. (OK) (Later)
(OK)
Keesha Franklin
(Options - Call)
"Hey, Keesha, what's up?"
From the journal of Dorothy Ann Slater:
Correction: BOTH CARLOS AND RALPHIE ARE PERVS.
I need to get back my underwear. And squash rumours that I want to get laid. Seriously, where do they come up with this stuff? I mean, everyone knows I've taken a vow of abstinence against premarital sex.
So, I will do whatever I can to squash rumours (that should be easy).
Also will do ANYTHING to get my underwear back from Ralphie and Carlos (not easy). Use whatever means necessary.
Wait, will not do anything to get my underwear back. With those two, you never know. No, I'll ignore them. I can exact my revenge by thinking of the best 25 ways to kill them.
Oh, and must get Harry Arm off my back. Why does he want to ask me out on a date anyway? He never paid attention to me before!
To: goldengirl
From: daredevilli
Subject: 10 Things I Hate About You.
DA, genius darling, the thing's from 10 Things I Hate About You. You know, the movie.
Or you would know if you got your nose out of those research books. Seriously. Live a little. Like, you know, why don't you come and we'll go scuba diving in the lake. What do you think?
Don't worry, we can get back at the two idiots. And I'm doing this not because I'm jealous I didn't think of it first.
-Wanda
LIST OF REASONS WHY I SHOULD TAKE WANDA'S HELP AND GET BACK AT RALPHIE AND CARLOS RAMON
By Dorothy Ann Slater
1) They stole my underwear.
2) It would be funny.
-
"Oh, heavens, I can't believe I'm actually considering taking Wanda up on her offer. Wanda!"
From the journal of Dorothy Ann Slater:
I will not be more laid-back. I will study more than ever to keep my mind out of mischief.
Author's Note: It was on impulse. Forgive me. May be continued, because this is funny (to me, at least).
