Harry Potter's List of Things Learned in Defense Class

Teachers with turbans smelling like garlic are likely to be possessed by Lord Voldemort

Never let pixies loose when you have an incompetent teacher

Famous, beaming, arrogant professors are lying windbags

Werewolves make wonderful Defense teachers

Always be wary of mad old Aurors - they may be Death Eaters in disguise

Toad like Ministry hags are to be driven mad at all costs

Evil potion teachers turned defense teachers are still slimy evil gits

LEARN DEFENSE BY YOURSELF!!! HOGWARTS DEFENSE PROFESSORS TEND TO BE IDIOTS!!!

Harry looked up from the parchment her was writing and said to Hermione, "Our Defense teachers seriously suck."

Hermione sadly had to agree on that point.