I return with a new story! Please don't kill me for not updating, this story was being a douche, and I really don't want to get into it. Let's just say I shouldn't procrastinate.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Bleach… Right?
Reluctant Shinigami
Prologue
Naruto walked slowly into Training Ground Number 44, Gate 24, he quickly checked over the small amount of rations he brought with him, his hands traveled over his supplies as he checked them over. He idly noticed the overly high amount of instant ramen he brought. Naruto's clenched his left fist as he saw his current crush, Sakura Haruno trying (and failing) to attract Uchiha Sasuke, she even tried to make it look like she had breasts which failed with great amounts of hilarity. Naruto allowed a smile to fall upon his face as the gates opened up, revealing the inside of the next part of the Chunin Exams.
Naruto followed Sakura and Sasuke through the trees of the forest, making sure to not trip with each step. He let himself drop to the ground with his teammates, who were both panting for breath. Naruto spoke to them both, "Sleep, I'll get watch! 'tebayo." As he spoke this, Naruto inwardly cursed at his voice tic causing the Kyuubi to smirk to him/herself. Naruto sat with his back to a tree as he sent approximately three hundred Kage Bunshin into the forest to keep watch, little did Naruto know this would be the last time he saw with living eyes.
Naruto's eyes slowly cracked open. He looked down at the ground only to see a body similar to his with a chain connected to it. The body was clothed in an orange jumpsuit with blue around the shoulder area, it had blonde hair, and cerulean eyes. The body had a Konoha Hitai-ate adorning it's forehead, and was laying dead. "Th-that looks like me!" yelled the dead child. Naruto dropped off the tree he was conveniently sitting on and looked at the body. He then looked around and saw a young raven-haired boy, "S-Sasuke?" He asked the corpse. Naruto poked it, only to notice his fingers go right through the body of the corpse, "What the hell!?" He asked to nobody in particular. He looked at himself finally noticing something important, he could go through things. He remembered what JiJi once told him, "Remember Naruto-Kun, with great power, comes great responsibility's" Naruto smiled slightly at that memory. Maybe he could use this power to save Konoha? What if Konoha rejects him? Of course they would, they wouldn't want the 'demon' to get too strong would they? He heard a noise and looked to his left only to find a mysterious gate-like thingy(1).
A man who has dark hair and a short goatee walked out of the gate-thing, which will now be known as a gate. He wore a white shitagi, a black kosode, a black hakama, a white hakama-himo, white tabi , waraji sandals, a thin white headband and white straps around his shoulders, which are tied in a circle at his back. There was a katana strapped to his waist and he appeared to have a permanent scowl on his face, maybe he just finished an argument?
The man walked towards Naruto who stood there confused with his eyes closed. The man drew his katana and held the hilt to Naruto's head only for Naruto's eyes opened. Naruto kicked the man in the stomach before backing away, "I WON'T LET YOU KILL ME! DATTEBAYO!" Naruto yelled at the top of his lungs before running away.
The man looked at Naruto, he took a deep breath before thinking of a phrase, a seemingly innocent phrase, a phrase comprised of six simple words.
"GET YOUR WHITE ASS BACK HERE!" The man took off after the poor blonde boy.
The two ran past trees, ponds, a redhead masturbating with one hand while another crushed people with sand, and a certain Kusagakure Genin raping Kabuto Yakushi. Naruto looked at the latter two with a mixture of amazement and disgust, amazement at how this could be done, and disgust at what they are doing. In Naruto's momentary lapse of concentration, the man caught up to him. Naruto dropped to the floor of the forest, and the man flew over his head into one of the many trees around the large training ground. The man looked angrily at the young, dead, Genin.
"I'm gonna kill you now," the man stated in a deadly whisper before diving at Naruto. The man went under Naruto who was now off the ground by the scruff of his neck, which was being held by a man. The man had a youthful appearance and was a fairly tall person. He had aqua green eyes and spiky raven black hair. He wore a similar uniform as the other man with a weird looking badge on his left arm which he seemed very proud of. He had a tattoo of a crest upon his arm. "F-Fuku-Taicho" The man chasing Naruto said somewhat meekly.
"Sentaro what are you doing to this Plus?" The man said obviously angry at the other man , now identified as Sentaro.
"Kaien-fukutaicho, I was only trying to use Konso on this Plus, but he fled from me." The man labeled as Sentaro said to his 'fukutaicho' known as Kaien. Kaien quickly turned and smacked the young Plus in the head with the bottom of the sword he was carrying, Naruto was quickly reverted into reishi before disappearing to somewhere else.
Kaien turned to Sentaro before whispering menacingly, "Your ass is mine," Kaien turned and disappeared back from whence he came. Sentaro gulped audibly before doing the same.
(With Naruto, 90th district of Rukongai)
Naruto's eyes opened to find a large amount of kids running around an old man(2), his eyes widened when he looked down on himself. He had been turned into a little kid! Now he may not have been that tall in the first place, but still! The old man turned and looked his way and started towards him. "So sonny how are you doing now?" The man asked him, his voice seemed strained with age, Naruto couldn't find his voice for some reason so he just looked at him quietly. "Oh you lost your voice?" it must be the side effect of having the young whippersnapper Kaien Shiba doing the Konso on you," He said nodding to himself before continuing, "You see he is a Shinigami, like myself was before I left the order, Shinigami or Soul Reapers as some call us protect the living and the dead from hollows and other evil spirit creatures." The man had said before placing his hands on Naruto's neck, "This is a Healing Kido and is used to manipulate the innate reitsu of a person to help heal that man," The hands were surrounded by green light, "You should be getting your voice back right about now, " Just as he finished saying that, Naruto's mouth flew open and questions popped out, questions involving the Shinigami, questions of the afterlife, and surprisingly questions of the old man's origin. The man held a finger to his lips as if to quiet the young boy, "My name is of no relevance at this point youngling, but if you must know, " The man gained a mischievous look in his eyes, "You have to find me, " The old man quickly disappeared into the streets of Rukongai only to be followed by Naruto at a similar pace. The old man turned around only to find that Naruto had been left behind, "Guess he isn't the one after all," The poor looking man whispered to himself.
The old man felt something injected into his asshole, he turned slowly to find Naruto with four fingers up his ass in the tiger hand seal, the man's eyes widened before he flew off to No-Man's Land, otherwise known as the FSA's(3) personal hot springs in the Kuchiki compound, the old man was never heard from again…. Naruto gazed sadly in the old man's direction, as even he had heard of the fierceness if of the FSA(4). "Sad that I never learned his name," Naruto said apathetically before turning on his heel and walking back to the orphanage causing all the men in the vicinity to sweat drop, even the Shinigami about to recruit Naruto.
Naruto walked through the street whistling innocently even if he just sent a man to his possible death. Two nameless and faceless Shinigami appeared before him, "Uzumaki Naruto Thou shalt cometh with useth, " One said with a fake medieval accent.
"As he zaid" The other continued with an attempt at French.
Naruto stared apparently creeped out and disgusted, "Why should I do this?" He asked quietly.
"Because you have been chosen for the Shinigami Academy," one decided to reveal reverting to his original voice.
"Well I have nothing else to do, " The young child said shrugging before feeling as if he was teleported(5) to a large building which looked as if it was centered in a district of its own.
"This is the Shinigami Academy, " One of the two Shinigami stated in a matter of fact tone. Naruto shook his head in reply and followed the duo of Shinigami into the large building. The former shinobi was lead into a large room filled with training dummies, mats, wooden weapons of all shapes and sizes, a target range, and a desk which had three Shinigami sitting at it.
The first of the three was a tall, lanky male with brown hair styled in a buzz-cut, the man had brown eyes that seemed to be permanently squinting, the man wore clothing that seemed standardized for all Shinigami as it matched the last two he met perfectly except for the lack of a badge on his arm that the Shinigami who touched his head to the bottom of his katana had.
The second of the three seemed familiar, but Naruto couldn't remember from where, the person was tall and lanky like the first one, he had shoulder-length blondfe hair that was at least as spiky as Naruto's own, the man's eyes were a deep blue with an icy edge to them, the man wore the standardized robes as Naruto had taken to calling them, and looked happy among his peers, and that look of happiness become overjoyed when the man laid eyes on Naruto.
The third member was a woman of regular height with long red hair done up in a pony tail, she had pale, porcelain skin was positively glowing, and her violet eyes were shimmering with happiness, her considerable bust was held up by the Shinigami uniform, and to top it all off… She was pregnant! The woman, like the man before her was grinning stupidly in his direction.
Naruto spoke the first thing that came to mind, "Well I guess they don't pay Shinigami to think." This caused the first man to start snickering, but caused the other two to frown.
(Somewhere in the 10th division
A certain drunk orange-haired fuku-taicho sneezed before grumpily whispering, "Suddenly I have the urge to kill a blonde." The train of thought was stopped as she fell back to sleep.
(Back with Naruto)
"Alright, enough jokes kid. It's time for you test to begin, your first test will be in Kido." The first man stated before the red-headed woman from before stood and led him to the side.
