The Raoul Bashing Chronicles, Book One: Slippery Swordplay
"Christine, wait! This man- this THING is not your father!" The-Idiot-Whose-Name-Had-Three-Syllables-In-A-Row yelled, almost slipping sideways off his horse.
He masked it by taking a step forward and flipping his ridiculously foppish hair out of his eyes.
With a yell of fury, a black-clad god jumped off the mausoleum, withdrawing his totally awesome Skully-Sword-O-Doom.
He snarled "En-Gerde!"
Raoul summoned a sword out of pretty much nothing, (Really, where DID that come from? Why did he even BRING it? Did he, or was it…MAGIC?!) and so began The Swordfight...
*Ominous Music*
In the midst of the clangs and bangs and other swordfight-y-ish sounds, Christine stood with a bucket of popcorn and a large Fruit Punch.
Now, you may have thought she was against this whole love triangle thing, right?
WRONG!
How would you feel if a god-like, masked, brooding, mysterious, genius man with a voice angels would kill for was fighting a duel to the death for you?
Even if it was against a fop who could sing higher than you could, it would be awesome, right? Yeah.
Yeah, it would.
Anyway, back to the duel.
Every time Erik would get the upper hand, Raoul would somehow steal it. So basically, it was getting nowhere.
It went on like this until the dramatic swordfight music was almost done.
That was when Erik slashed a gaping hole (I wish…) in Raoul's shoulder.
Christine clapped. "Go Erik!"
Erik turned around to grin and wink at her, while Raoul looked up from his shoulder to open-mouthidly stare at her. "Christine!"
She shrugged. "What? He's winning, has a cooler sword than you, and quite frankly you have girl's hair."
He whimpered and his eyes filled with tears.
Erik smirked. To Raoul he said "Well Fop, even if I don't win, I STILL win!"
Raoul jumped up and saw he had a cut in his shirt where Erik sliced his arm.
He cursed when he realized that he wasn't looking perfect for his beloved, and began striking at Erik with a vengeance.
But the thing was, Raoul's hair started to fall out of place.
He started frantically styling it back into place, and in the process bumped into the Phantom.
Surprisingly, Erik ended up on the ground.
Raoul smirked girlishly, and got ready to plunge his sword into Erik's super fit chest, (Authoress faints for a moment at that image) when…
He slipped on the ice, landing face first.
3...
2...
1...
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Erik and Christine burst into hysterical laughter, and Christine joined Erik on the ground.
Only now they were both rolling around laughing. Raoul however was sobbing. It was annoying.
"Oh, shut it Raoul." Erik said, killed him a brick, and carried Christine off into the sunset.
They all lived happily ever after.
Raoul did not.
