You're My Favorite Damn Disease
By A Clockwork Pumelo
Song By Nickleback:
Figured You Out
This is a serious songfic about Kimimaro and Tayuya, and their history together. It is set sometime about a year before his first appearance in the manga/anime, and through the time of his death. The song is "Figured You Out" by Nickleback. I almost cried when I wrote the ending for this. and now, for some heavy disclaimers:
GENERAL DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters described herein. They are the property of Massashi Kishimoto, as is most of the dialogue in the last few paragraphs. I do not own the song "Figured You Out". That is property of the band Nickleback. I do not make any money from any of my writing, although I wish I did sometimes. All characters in this writing are property of Massashi Kishimoto, and (I assume) fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Any resemblance to real events, past, present, or future, is also purely coincidental. I, The Author, hereby assume exactly NO responsibility for any harm of any type, direct or indirect, incurred by any use and/or reading of this piece of writing by anyone. IN OTHER WORDS, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.
TISSUE WARNING: Have a box at hand, you'll be glad you did. This is a very, very sad piece of writing and tears and keyboards/other electronics generally don't get along well.
INNOCENCE PROTECTION WARNING: This story contains heavily implied sexual and violent situations. These depictions are not meant to be gratuitous, but to tell a story to its fullest extent, so treat them as such. If any part of this story offends you the reader, what the fudgecicles are you even doing, surfing around in the moral cesspit of the internet? There are lots of WAY more disturbing/violent/perverted/gross things out there. Trust me, I've had the misfortune to click on many seemingly innocent links, and what has been seen cannot be unseen, much to my disgust and occasional horror.
I like your pants around your feet.
And I like the dirt that's on your knees.
She had always been a tom-boy, from her matted ginger hair and foul mouth all the way down to her grubby bare feet. She wore loose, baggy pants and a tunic that made her look dumpy and shapeless. People who didn't know her thought she was a boy; she talked, fought, and acted just like the guys she was teamed up with. Tayuya liked it that way, because nobody ever thought about doing anything other than hitting her. That all changed when Orochimaru assigned the Sound Four a new leader. Now when Kabuto treated her bruises, the look he gave her from behind his glasses said 'Who was it?', instead of 'What was it?' She never told him who it was, but he knew, she was sure of it.
And I like the way you still say please
While you're looking up at me.
The green eyes above her dimmed and swam in her vision as his fingers closed harder around her neck, pressing delicate arteries shut and cutting off air.
'Please?' was the only thing she could think before she blacked out.
You're like my favorite damn disease.
The green eyes didn't come back. Only the sound of coughing, and a tiny glint of crimson flitting across her vision. 'Blood? No, couldn't be.' As the strength flowed slowly back into her limbs, she turned her head to see the pale haired youth beside her, doubled over and coughing. His hair was hanging in his face, one hand over his mouth as he glared at her with red-rimmed eyes, daring her to speak.
"Go to..." She reached out a hand to help him up and he caught her wrist in a viselike grip, hauling her up and off her feet, pressing her hard into the wall. Silky locks of white hair brushed her cheek as he rasped into her ear, voice harsh as a raven's and tinged with the ferrous odor of blood.
"Kabuto-sempai will not hear of this. Especially from you." He released her to crumple on the floor, staring up at him as their eyes met, both green and brown showing concern for the same person.
And I love the places that we go.
The water flowing over their shoulders was so cold it burned whatever skin it touched as white hair mixed with red in the frigid cascade from the waterfall. Their teeth chattered as they fought to keep balance under the onslaught of the water and tanned skin pressed close to milky white. The rhythm of the water guided them, sometimes fast, sometimes slow, but always cold enough to mimic fire. It was times like these, when they were alone together, that made it all worthwhile.
"This is amazing, isn't it Tay?" She could hear the shiver in his voice against her neck and feel it in the teeth that clamped hard into her flesh over the curse mark, stifling all reply in a wave of fire that spread through her body and made the world spin out of control.
"Hehhh... yeah..." She giggled into his ear as he helped her out of the pounding water and they collapsed into a thick patch of sunlit heather on the river's bank "I like being with you... so much..."
I love the people that you know.
A hand reached for her, caressing her hair and body as other hands did the same in the dark room. She brought a hand tentatively up to where she knew he was laying beside her, and the delicate curve of one of his shoulders met her fingers.
"Don't be shy, Tay. They won't do anything you tell them not to. It's all for the pleasure." She gripped the shoulder harder, but his hand, for she knew the feel of its long, slender fingers by heart, took hers and he kissed all the way up her arm as the others got closer and closer. She whimpered, afraid but a whisper in her ear quieted her.
"It's alright, I can dispel a few of them if it gets to be too much." The rest of the night passed in a blur of darkness, heat, and identical swirling bodies.
And I love the way you can't say no,
Too many long lines in a row.
I love the powder on your nose.
"Ki-kimi? I don't think... I can s-stand..." Two blurry, green eyes hovered above her in the distance and she made a weak grab for one of his arms, knocking over half a dozen sake bottles. She giggled when he picked her up bridal style and carried her to her room, and clung to his shirt when he placed her between the blankets.
"I need you... now... stay?" And he did, at first to make sure she didn't pass out, then to enjoy all the silly, drunken things she said to him. He always liked it when she was too intoxicated to curse at him when he held her close and called her his Tay-Tay-chan. The way she tangled her fingers in his hair as she kissed him... like their lips were the only thing touching, a tenuous, fragile bond. The way she never complained about anything when she was drunk, but just wrapped her arms around him and panted against his neck with hardly a foul word was all he needed to keep going again and again until dawn or sobriety, whichever came first. Most of all, he loved the way she slurred his name, Kimimaaarrooo…
Oooohhh, and now I know who you are.
It wasn't that hard
Just to figure you out.
"Tayuya... do you need me?" Red hair glowed and white hair gilded in the candlelight as he put an arm around her, green eyes showing only her own reflection in their depths. The silence stretched, and he thought she had dozed off. It was alright if she didn't say yes, as long as she didn't say no.
"Yes." The candle burnt to a puddle of molten wax, flickered. A small, tan hand traced the perfect, sculpted muscles of his chest, carved from alabaster in the fading light.
"Thank you. I just wanted to know is all." Stifling the impulse to dance with happiness, he gathered her close, running cool fingers through her hair as she listened to his heart and breath. Dancing could come later, and he didn't want to ruin the moment.
(Now and again, you wonder why)
"Your chest it... bubbles when you breathe..." Her eyes flickered up and met only the perfectly carved chin.
"Hmm... don't worry about it Tay, it's my allergies, trust me." The green eyes opened, lazy and calm, but he would not meet her gaze. Yawning lazily, he tucked her against his body and slept.
The candle flame went out, sputtering then dying, a fine wisp of smoke floating heavenwards.
And now I know who you are.
It wasn't that hard
Just to figure you out.
Her hands ran over his skin, fingernails leaving reddish lines across the pale flesh. His back, stomach, sides, even all down his perfect legs, the red lines trailed like streaks of blood. She sucked hard on his shoulder, leaving a large red blotch and trailing a string of pink-tinged saliva up his neck as she left more and more hickeys. He just lay there, eyes closed in delight as he felt her motions get more and more frustrated at his lack of movement. Deciding that she was worked up enough, he snapped his eyes open and grabbed her shoulders, flipping her around to crush her into the hard sofa and forcing her head back and over the arm rest. Holding both her hands in one of his, he tore at her clothes, kissing her and leaving bruises on her lips. When he came up for air, she protested and struggled, whining until he released her arms.
"We both know this isn't going to last forever, Tay." He whispered in her ear, bringing her up to sit against the armrest. She punched him, hard, in the chest at the words. The blow made him flinch and draw away, so uncharacteristic for the fearless Kaguya.
(Now again, you wonder why)
"And what the hell does that mean?" Her anger vanished when she saw a single drop of blood seeping from the corner of his lips, and the naked terror in his eyes as he brought a hand up to his mouth and looked at it.
"You need to go to Kabuto." Tiny drops of blood flew as he shook his head violently, then coughed again, flecks of crimson spattering across the hand he put to his mouth.
"I'm okay. It's just the curse mark..." He didn't sound convinced.
"No you're not. And if you don't go, I'm telling Him myself." Their eyes met, green sea and brown stone. It was an ultimatum. He looked away first.
"Fine."
I like the freckles on your chest.
He caught her as she fell, exhausted from the use of the second-stage curse mark. It had been a tough battle, and he knew she would be unconscious for at least a few hours while her body coped with the damage. Extruding a few ribs, he draped her about his shoulders and formed a frame to support her on their journey back to the hideout. When the storm clouds caught up with them, he carried her into the nearest cave, propping her up against a wall and starting a small fire. As usual, they shared a tent and sleeping bag. He sliced the torn and bloodied clothes from her limp frame and noticed that she had acquired a deeper tan this summer, and tiny freckles dotting her skin under all the dirt and dried blood.
"Have you been sun bathing when you should be training, Tay-Tay-chan? Tsk, tsk..." He knew she wouldn't hear him, and liked it that way. He could never be sure of her reaction to his pet names, and it had fetched him sharp blows to the head with her flute on more than one occasion. The rain beat down outside as he slipped her into the sleeping bag and folded her sky-clad body into his for warmth. The best part of the night was still to come.
And I like the way you like me best.
"Mmmm... Kimimaro-kun... wake up." The words, breathed in his ear as she rolled over and grabbed him definitely woke him up. Walking was going to be difficult in the morning.
And I like the way you're not impressed;
"C'mon Kimimaro-kun, just once more, please? You don't even have to do anything." The insistent hands and the teeth nibbling at his ear told him that he was going to get even less sleep than he thought.
"Ok, but this is the last time, so we both might as well make it count."
While you put me to the test.
I like the white stains on your dress.
By the time Tayuya finally fell asleep, Kimimaro was quite sure that both of them would not be able to walk properly in the morning, let alone make it back to the hideout by noon.
"Sheesh girl, I think you broke my back again..." It was a curious side-effect of the curse seal, more pronounced in women than men. Orochimaru had never quite been able to eliminate it, especially in the usage of second-stage curse marks. All the energy extracted from the body upon activation of the mark was expended on power, but lost upon the mark's recession. The deluge of concurrently released neurotransmitters and hormones were not lost, but lingered for hours to exert their effects on mind and body. Especially body, thought Kimimaro as he shifted, trying to find a sleeping position that didn't hurt.
And I love the way you pass the check.
"Yeah, we'll take a single room. Queen size bed if you have it... and we'll definitely want an extra set of sheets too." Kimimaro caught the wink and the bribe she gave the old woman at the check in desk of the onsen. Tayuya always knew how to get exactly what she wanted, which is why both of them were taking an extra day for the mission again, so as not to come home hobbling, again.
"How about those hot springs, hmm Tay-Tay? They have private ones."
And I love the good times that you wreck.
"Uhh, Tayuya? I meant for us to relax here..."
"Oh, hush. This will be relaxing…"
Water lapped in a gentle rhythm against the sides of the pool as they embraced, steam clouds rolling over their intertwined bodies.
And I love your lack of self-respect
While you're passed out on the deck.
"Just go... finish them off. I know you can." The brown eyes closed and the redhead's body went limp in his grasp. Fine then, he would finish them off, and curse the dumb little cooze for being stupid enough to get darted.
"I'll deal with you later." He snarled into her unconscious face, before going Stage Two and varnishing the entire valley in a fine layer of blood and guts. They had originally been tasked to catch and bring back two Mist village spies for questioning by Orochimaru, but the mission had turned into a straight kill-or-be-killed battle. The interlocking crescents of his curse mark erased themselves back to his chest as he slung her limp body over his shoulder, ginger hair sticking to the blood on his tunic as he removed the small syringe from her shoulder and tossed it aside with a growl. He was going to show her later what letting her guard down got her...
I love my hands around your neck.
"Kimimaro..." The words were not spoken, but mouthed as he squeezed the sides of her neck, choking her out and making tears run from her eyes as he bit down hard into her curse mark, tasting blood. He could feel her body writhing and twitching, trying to stop the tremendous sensory overload that came with the abuse of the mark. His ribs shot out and through the mattress and box spring, caging her for more misuse. Over and over again, he sank teeth into every part of her shoulder he could reach, taking savage pleasure in every thrashing struggle she made to try and free herself of his bones, his body, his hands. When she quit moving, he released her and cradled her head between his arms, quickening his pace to make her wake up again. Once he was sure she was fully conscious, his hand came down again to choke her out once more and his bones creaked as they morphed to contort her into a new position. He loved being in control. It didn't happen very often. This was only the second time he had had to go stage two since they had gotten to know each other like this. The first time had been their first time.
Oooohhh, and now I know who you are.
It wasn't that hard
Just to figure you out.
It was around dawn when Tayuya unstuck her hair from the coating of dried blood on the pillow. Was that all me...? Her reflection in the mirror confirmed that the bites on her shoulder were numerous, though none deep enough to bleed that much. Where's Kimimaro? The sound of coughing made her look up.
(Now and again, you wonder why)
He was a mess, clutching the edge of the bathroom sink like his life depended on it as he struggled to remain standing. In the mirror, she could see his eyes widen, then narrow as he caught sight of her. The blood that ran down his chin was even more vivid when he whirled to face her, teeth bared in a crimson snarl of fury. One string of red dripped from his chin, swinging as he lunged toward her and stopped, falling to his knees in another coughing fit.
And now I know who you are.
It wasn't that hard
Just to figure you out.
"You... oh no..." And she was there, hauling him back up to the sink, holding his blood-slicked hair back (not that it did much good) as he coughed and spat, fighting to breathe against the life that just kept coming from somewhere deep inside to choke him. When he finally stopped coughing, spent and half conscious, she wiped the blood from his face and hair, trying to hold back tears. His eyes, dull and bloodshot, rolled up into his head as he sagged against her, sending both of them to the floor. In the watery sunlight coming through the window she could see the tiny capillaries that had burst in his eyelids, creating tiny crimson spots under the thin, translucent skin. His eyes fluttered open as he drew a shuddering breath and reached up with a weak hand to caress her cheek.
(Now and again, you wonder why)
"Tayuya-chan... I love you. Don't worry... it was just the curse mark... It's scary, but I'm okay," His eyes squeezed shut, " I'm… okay…" Two solitary tears made clear tracks down the red-streaked face as he held back a sob. His breathing settled, and all she could do was cry quietly as he drifted into an exhausted sleep.
"I never thought you'd say that, the whole 'I love you' thing." She propped him up, head on her stomach, and dozed against the tiled wall. Some time later, Kimimaro woke and bathed them both to remove all the dried blood, scrubbing her shoulders and back carefully so as not to wake her. He tucked her into the blankets of the sofa bed and went about removing every trace of the past eight hours, as much for his own denial as for hers.
(Not before, you never tried)
It was only when she felt the soft flutter of fingers tracing the curve of her cheek that Tayuya woke, taking in the mournful hue of the green eyes in the pale evening glow from the windows. There were fresh pillows under her head and cotton bandages swathed one side of her torso. She closed her eyes again, recent events flooding back to her.
"Tell me last night... this morning… that wasn't real, was it? Tell me I just had a nightmare." The fingers paused abruptly, and her heart fell. She felt the hand tilt her chin up as she opened her eyes and met his haunted gaze. The tiny spots of red on his eyelids had darkened to purple in the last few hours.
"I'm afraid it was, Tayuya-chan. I'm afraid it was." His voice held none of the rasping harshness of the night before, but the small waver as he said 'Tayuya-chan' was enough to tell her how he felt.
(Gone for good, and this is it)
He hadn't gone to Kabuto, he hadn't gotten help. The next day they returned to the base, and he kissed her before going into the silver-haired medic's lair. They both knew deep down that it was a kiss goodbye.
I like your pants around your feet;
And I like the dirt that's on your knees.
"Don't worry Tay, Kabuto says that if I don't overexert myself I'll be fine. Just lay back and quit worrying about me... worry about whether you're gonna be walking tomorrow." He smiled as he leaned in to kiss her, bringing her down with him into the same patch of heather they had visited so long ago. It had spread to include a good twenty yards of the river's edge in the couple years they had been away. The waterfall was no longer an icy deluge; merely a dwindling trickle of cool water. The glacier that had fed it was moving elsewhere, taking its store of life and luck with it. Their lips parted for a second.
"Okay, But if you feel like coughing..." White hair rustled as he shook his head fiercely and brought her lips down to meet his again. For a long time, the only sounds heard besides the soft trickle of ice water were the murmurs and sighs of two people, both very much in love.
And I like the way you still say please
While you're looking up at me.
Kabuto was out on a mission when the Kaguya vacated his hospital bed, picked the lock on his door, crept down the halls and slipped into Tayuya's quarters. Picking up the hastily flung kunai and twirling it around a finger, he leaned on the door frame, silhouetted in the torch light from the hall.
"Tay-Tay-chan, it's been so long... How are you? Oh…" She gazed up from the pillow she had been wrapped around, eyes red and puffy. He was at her side in an instant, pulling her close into a crushing embrace and burying his face in her hair, breathing in her scent and purging his nostrils of the metallic stink of disinfectant. She cried for a long time, getting his shirt so wet that he took it off, offering it to her as a towel.
"You're all I've wanted, all I've thought about for these last couple days, you know that?" He laid back on her bed in the darkness, slipping her night tunic off over her head and wrapping his arms around her waist as he kissed her, tasting salty tears.
"Oh, you have no idea." He had never actually been in her room before, but he liked how soft her bed was, and how everything smelled like her, as they lost themselves in each other in the dark.
You're like my favorite damn disease.
"Come on, take them. You want to get better, don't you?" The bottle of pills was thrust into his face; he slapped it away.
"Yes, I do. We both want me to get better." Green eyes bored into her, full of anger, sadness, and the terrible truth they both knew must come to pass.
"Then take them. Please? For me?" The white hair trailed as he shook his head. The pills would be useless, just like he was.
And I hate the places that we go;
The gurney creaked under their combined weight in the eerie flicker of the computer monitors and he could not put his arms around her too tightly, at the risk of disturbing the needles and tubes that snaked from his veins. They seemed to shine and writhe, malicious transparent serpents in the artificial halo of the instrument panels.
"Don't worry, it's just until my condition stabilizes from using the curse mark. It's not permanent. Ouch." A needle had worked free of his vein, the clear tube making a sharp clack as it hit the floor.
"Oh, oops. Maybe we should stop... if Kabuto finds us..." They paused, listening for any sound that might betray the presence of another being.
"No. I don't care." Another IV tube fell to the floor as he clasped her to him tightly.
I hate the people that you know.
"You know not to... overexert yourself, Kimimaro-san. I'm not going to ask who was in here last night taking your IV's out," He gave his patient an all-too-knowing look, "But rest assured they will not be in here again to bother you. As it is, I'll need to keep you an extra three days for additional tests." The round lenses and white teeth flashed, mocking the bedridden Kaguya. Already, half of the silver-haired spy's work was done for him.
And I hate the way you can't say no
Too many long lines in a row.
I hate the powder on your nose.
"How do you feel, Kimimaro-kun?" He brushed off the hand she had offered in support.
"Fine. Just fine. I'm not dying, you know." And it seemed to be true. After all, he was walking with some of his old grace.
"So, umm... what do you want to do today? A bit of training?" He thought a bit, and decided to go right on ahead and ignore Kabuto's strict warning.
"Oh, you know damn well what I want to do, and where I want to do it." He lifted her right off her feet and kissed her greedily. Oh, he was going to take everything Kabuto had said, and violate those rules as much as he possibly could. He was going to violate those rules until they didn't know up from down, overexertion be damned.
Oooohhh, and now I know who you are.
It wasn't that hard
Just to figure you out.
The waterfall had dried up completely, but the heather had not suffered; in contrast, it seemed even more lush, tipped even more liberally with purple as they eagerly fell upon each other into its soft cushion. They remained there until the sun set in a fiery display of gold and lavender, holding each other and listening to their heartbeats speed and slow in perfect synchrony.
(Now and again, you wonder why)
Kabuto was there to greet them when the tired pair returned, Kimimaro clutching Tayuya's hand far too tightly as they limped toward the only light that shone from the hideout. Seeing the pair of lenses, he quietly bid Tayuya to go to her quarters, feeling her hand slip from his like the last breath of a dying soul. Kabuto pushed his glasses up his nose and put on his best condescending smirk for Kimimaro, eyes lingering particularly on the small dots of blood and skin that clung to the fabric of his tunic.
And now I know who you are.
It wasn't that hard
Just to figure you out.
"Ahh, and what have you two been doing, hmm?" The medic waggled a steely gray eyebrow suggestively over his shining glasses, "You know that I forbid you to use your kekkei genkai for anything. That's why I let Tayuya-san be your bodyguard." The medic smirked, seeing a fine vein pulse in Kimimaro's temple. This was too easy.
"We took... a walk, Kabuto-sempai. That is all." He tried to meet the medic's silver eyes, but the glasses were reflecting only the surrounding torches.
"Are you sure, Kimimaro-san? Are you absolutely sure? Or did you just happen to fall into a patch of heather and stay there with Tayuya-san for four hours?" He plucked a small bit of purple from the hastily tied lavender belt around the Kaguya's waist. Green eyes lowered, and sharp grey eyes flashed in triumph at the thrill of the capture as the white-haired man gasped, fought for words, and began to cough. The reflection in the lenses flashed red as blood made small puddles in the dirt, and the grey-haired man grinned. Check-mate.
(Now and again, you wonder why)
"Hmm, it appears we have rats again." It was Kabuto, quietly typing on the instrument panel across from Kimimaro's bed.
Kimimaro tried to go back to sleep as the sounds outside the ward door continued. It was like this every night. The scratching of a new set of lock picks, furtive tapping on the thick door, and finally soft crying. He would not reply, could not reply. He had tried to speak sometimes, but the oxygen mask stifled any sound he made, his hands were strapped to the gurney, and the scroll stretched across his face sealed him from using his kekkei genkai to free himself. Even his whole torso was wrapped tightly with sealing tags to prevent him activating his curse mark. The sounds on the other side of the door ceased, as did the ticking of the keyboard. A single tear slid, unbidden, down Kimimaro's cheek. Kabuto grinned into the banks of monitors that displayed the security cameras, and shifted the signal to the main monitor.
"Why not focus on something else you can do, Kimimaro-san?"
(Why not before, you never tried)
The fresh air stung his eyes as he willed himself to streak through the trees toward his master's new body with the ease of someone not on their deathbed. Ahead, a bright flash of orange hair made his heart leap and his foot almost miss the branch he landed on. It had been weeks since he'd seen her, months since he had kissed or held her close. He willed his legs to pick up their pace, to reach her and bring her back along with the canister full of Sasuke to present to Orochimaru. High above their heads he jumped, plummeting towards the container as Tayuya tilted her head back, mouth open in surprise as their eyes met.
"What? Why did you... Kimimaro?" Her eyes widened, and then darted away going cold.
He scooped the barrel up by its purple tie, sunlight gleaming through the trees to dapple the faces of the leaf ninjas before him as he tried to make eye contact again with his redheaded teammate. She didn't look up, but kept her eyes firmly on the orange-clad blonde and the boy with hair like a burnt pineapple.
"You're too late, Tayuya… where are the other three of us, who were once the Sound Five?" He tried to get her to look at him, but she kept her eyes down.
"Your body? How... are you?" Only he heard the waver in her voice, and only he knew what it meant.
"No. I am not moving with my body anymore. This, this is the power of sheer will." With one foot in the grave… damn… The redhead's mouth twitched into a bitter smile. "This body, this prison, can no longer bind my consciousness. It's as if I have touched the border of Orochimaru-sama's dream of immortality." Kimimaro jumped, landing heavily beside her, leaning on the barrel with Sasuke in it. She drew back at the sight of him, ribs outlined clearly under his clothes, at the stench of sickness, disinfectant, and unwashed sheets that rolled off him. The orange-clad jinchurikki gave a snarl and shot towards him, only to be rammed aside by a blur of red hair.
"Tayuya, you are too late," He could feel her body, taut with the intensity of battle and overwrought nerves as he whispered into her ear, "I told you this would not last forever, that I would not last forever. You still have a mission to accomplish by staying alive." He looked down at her from the side, and saw a single tear run down her cheek. And then he was gone in a whirl of white hair and red-rimmed eyes, streaking to his death through the trees.
(Gone for good, and this is it)
He never said goodbye. He already had, when they first met. She knew that nothing good lasts forever. They both did.
