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It'll be simple, easy. That's what he keeps telling himself. Over in a flash, no one will notice his disappearance form his desk at the BAU until at least tomorrow lunchtime. No one will care until lunchtime because they only want to speak to him when they need a stupid fact or statistic from him that they are too lazy to Goggle themselves.
Spencer Reid had always been on the outside of society and its normal expectation, too smart not to know when to shut up and too small to defend him self when other decided the only way to get him to shut up was to punch him, kick him, humiliated him.
Reid had thought long and hard about what he was about to do. Was it really worth it? He was standing in the bathroom, with a thick piece of rope in his hands. Running the rope through his fingers, flipping in from one hand to another.
He had heard many times in his life that suicide was the cowards way out, and in this moment he couldn't help but disagree. Spencer was terrified. His heart was beating to times fast, his breathing was coming out in short fast gasps, his palms had started to sweat, all the while his brain went over every suicide fact he knew.
In 2007, it was the tenth leading cause of death in the U.S. And for males the seveth leading cause.
An estimated 11 attempted suicides occur per every suicide death.
Firearms, suffocation, and poison are by far the most common methods of suicide
Over 34,000 people in the United States die by suicide every year.
Oh God Spencer thought I'm going to become another statistics. Although it could be seen as slightly poetic a man that spent his whole life learning every piece of knowledge, was now about to become a piece of that Spencer could not see it as so, but rather he saw it a just another fail of his life.
He failed to protected himself from bullies, he failed to stop his Dad from leaving, he failed to shield his mother from her illness and the proceeded to send her away to a mental institute, he wasn't able to stop himself from being kidnapped and then proceeded to become an addict.
He had failed more than just these times in his life, but these seem to stand out to him circling over and over again in his head. His house phone ringing snapped him out of thinking. Reid let it continue ringing, it was most likely someone trying to sell him cheaper electricity or something pointless like that, no one at this time of night would be calling him.
Thank to the phone breaking him out of his mind, Reid began to put his final plan into motion, throwing one end of the rope over the shower rail Spencer pulled a tight knot to hold it securely into place. Pulling back on the rope he made sure that the rope was going to hold his weight.
"Hey Reid" apparently he was wrong about the who was calling him, "It's me Morgan…Well I guess you already knew that…Anyways, erm, look I don't know really how to say this" Morgan hesitation made Reid stop what he was doing. Hesitation and Morgan are normally not two things you hear in one sentence. Morgan was the type of guy that lived by the motto "tackle now, ask questions later". "It just that you seemed really out of it at work to day and being honest you been out of it for a while. Anyhow I decide that you might want some company, you know cheap beer and a bad movie, so I'm on my way over to yours, I'm gonna guess that you didn't pick up because you did hear the phone as you are buried deep in some cold fusion book. See ya in a bit"
"Crap." Whisper Reid he couldn't go back on his plan now. Not after he final work up the never to do it he couldn't continue to live how he was living. He would go threw with his plan, Reid decide even though it would be Morgan to find his body hanging life less. He had too.
Turning rod Reid locked the bathroom door in hopes that that would slow Morgan down a bit as he prayed to a god that he didn't believe in that he locked his front door also.
Tuning back round Spencer looked at the rope, at his demise, from the single item that would take him from this world and into that unknown
As quickly as he could he tied the other end in to a noose that would fit over his head stood up upon the bath ledge put the noose over his head finding it tight round his neck. Why was he complaining about that?
Taking a deep breath Reid closed his eyes and hoped his mother would forgive him for what he was about to do. A quick spark of guilt ran threw him who would look after his mother now that he was gone? But it was too late thoughts like that could not save him now, he had made his choice it was now time to stick to it.
He took another deep breath put his foot out in front of him and jumped.
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