Disclaimer: I don't own Shingeki no Kyojin.


Changes

Change. Eren hates the word, hates the act.

He finds Armin up on the wall one day, standing tall with his hands taut at his side. His face is stone, eyes sharp as steel and expression grave in contemplation. That was the first change Eren noticed.

Eren doesn't hesitate to stand beside his friend, nor to take his hand in his own and grasp it tight. The hold isn't returned. That was the second change Eren noticed.

"Eren." Armin acknowledges him without looking away from the setting sun. Eren leans against the blonde and buries his nose into his hair. "What is it." Armin's voice is more of a command than a inquiry, cold and unwelcoming. That was the third change Eren noticed.

He wants to take Armin away from everything ― keep him safe and out of change's way. He wants Armin to always be as soft, as gentle, as loving as he was before things became complicated, before the military, before the wall fell.

"I miss you." He says, unmoving from his spot at the blonde's side.

"I'm right here, Eren. You can't possibly miss me."

"No, I miss you. I miss us. What―" His voice catches in his throat ― he doesn't want to cry; not yet, not there, "What happened?"

Armin sighs, "I've changed, Eren. It's time you should, too. That's the way the world works. Time works in―"

"No." Eren tries to be firm, but he can't help the plea that slips into his tone. He moves his hand to tangle their fingers together, "You― You're cold, Armin. I miss how warm you used to be. Why can't you stay like that, even if it's just with me?"

Armin stays quiet. Eren doesn't.

"… You still remember our dream, right? To explore the outside world?"

"Eren…" Armin sounds exasperated, tired of hearing what Eren has to say, "That was then, this is now, Eren. That's thinking too far into the future. We can't be that optimistic."

"But, it's hope, Armin. We can hope and dream. Together." Eren presses his lips to the crown of Armin's head. He wants to be kids again; to place a halo of flowers atop his companion's head, to protect him from the neighbourhood big kids, to read heavy books about the world by the waterway. He moves away from Armin just enough to bring up their clasped hands and kiss Armin's knuckles.

"I want to be what we were."

Armin doesn't look at him. He instead turns his gaze down and shakes Eren's hand off of his own.

"I have work to tend to." His voice is but a whisper, apologetic almost, and never does he look up to his once best friend. "You should train. Or rest. Yeah, go rest, Eren."

And with that he is gone. Eren watches his retreating back until Armin starts down the wall's exit staircase.

Eren doesn't follow. He lets Armin go.


One-sided OTPs hurt so well.