5.03 Mind Games – Nate, Ruth, and Charlie visit Miami
"Yeah, Ma," Michael said flatly into the phone.
"Michael, you said you'd be here an hour ago. Where the hell are you? You're going to miss them."
"They'll be here for four days, Ma. I'm not going to miss them. I'll be there soon. I'm . . . working on something."
"Oh, for god's sake, Michael. Put down whatever you're doing and get over here. It's your brother. And your nephew."
"Okay, Ma. Okay." Michael tossed the phone on the bed and sighed.
"You can't avoid it forever," Fiona said from the green chair still held together with duct tape.
"I'd hardly call it forever, Fi. They got there three hours ago."
"It's just a baby, Michael. I can't believe you're so scared to be around him." She got up and walked the few feet to the kitchen area of the loft.
Michael rolled his eyes. "Oh, please. You're telling me you'd do any better with one?"
"I've been around plenty of babies," she said, getting a bottle of water from the fridge. "Are you forgetting where I'm from?"
"You're out of practice at a minimum," he replied. Letting out a big yawn, he said, "I'm really tired for some reason. I want to sleep for a while before I go over there." He smiled. "Want to join me?"
Fiona's face turned serious. "You're tired because you didn't sleep last night, and you didn't sleep because you had two nightmares."
Michael was quiet. "It's to be expected, Fi," he said eventually. "You may have noticed I've been under some stress the last few years."
"Right, and you're not doing yourself any favors by continuing to immerse yourself in that world. It's finished. It ended with a suicide in Venezuela."
"I'm not sure it ended," Michael said.
She scoffed. "Really. The gunshot to Kessler's temple isn't final enough for you?"
"I'm saying I'm not sure it ended with Kessler. It's classic strategy. The real boss hides and makes everyone think someone else is the boss. Even his own team doesn't know he's the boss."
"So now there's a secret boss?"
"Maybe."
"Then why, in the six months you and half the CIA were working on this, did nobody find even a shred of evidence of someone higher than Kessler?"
Michael didn't answer.
Fiona sat down next to him on the bed and sandwiched his hand in hers. "This isn't healthy, Michael. It's over. You've got to let this go."
"If I let it go, can I take a nap before we go over there?"
She blew a raspberry at him.
"We're here," Fiona sang as they walked through Madeline's front door later that afternoon.
"Hey!" called Nate, running to greet them. "Looking good, bro!" He threw his arms around Michael, who stood still. "And Fiona, you're as hot as ever."
Michael wrinkled his face and pulled away from Nate's bear hug. "Excuse me?"
"Shut up, Michael," Fiona said. "I am." She embraced Nate and kissed him on the cheek. "Lovely to see you, Nate. Where're Ruth and the baby?" she asked.
"She's changing his diaper. They'll be out in just a second."
"Where's Mom?" Michael asked. "Did she leave?" He forced himself not to smile.
"Hardly. She's supervising Ruth," said Nate.
"Supervising?" Fiona asked.
"Don't get me started," Nate replied. "So c'mon, Bro, come sit down. You want a beer? You want one, Fi?"
"Please."
"Mike?"
"Yeah, I'll have one." Michael sat on the smoke-ridden fabric couch and jumped up when something clanged. He looked where he'd been sitting and pulled a doughnut-shaped ring of plastic from the between the cushions. The top was clear, the bottom was red, and he could see a bunch of small pellets in assorted colors inside the doughnut. He looked at it blankly, then looked at Nate, who was coming out of the kitchen.
"It's a rattle, Bro."
"Oh." He still looked confused as he inspected it. "What does it do?"
"Rattle."
"Oh."
Fiona took the bottle Nate offered her. "Thank you. So tell us. How's fatherhood?" she asked, taking a swig.
"Oh my god, guys, it's so awesome." He handed the other bottle to Michael and sat next to him on the couch. "Charlie's just . . . oh, wow, he's just so great. He's starting to smile and the other day, I swear to god, he laughed. He laughed! I don't even know what he was laughing at, but he laughed. And his skin is so soft, and he smells all good. Well, except when he takes a dump. That's foul, man. You never smelled anything like it in your life, Bro. I guarantee it. I don't know how it's possible for him to shit that much. I mean, he barely eats. But, you know, somehow he does it." He laughed and took a drink from his own bottle. "I'm actually kinda proud of him. He's not some sissy shitter."
Michael smiled and nodded, smiled and nodded, smiled and nodded, waiting for it to end.
Ruth emerged from the bathroom with Madeline right behind her. "Hey, speak of the devil!" Nate announced. "There's my boy," he said as he bounded over to Ruth. She was cradling Charlie horizontally. Nate carefully wrapped his big hands around his son's tiny body and lifted him away from Ruth. "Mike, Fi, I'd like you to meet Charles Elias Westen. Charlie, this is your aunt and uncle!" Nate turned to Fiona and leaned his head to her. "I'm telling him you're his aunt because I don't really know how else to explain your relationship," he said quietly.
"Also because he's two months old," Michael said under his breath.
Fiona kicked him. "Aunt is fine. My nieces and nephews all call me Auntie Fi." She looked down to Charlie. "Well, hello there, Charles Elias Westen," Fiona cooed. "What a handsome young man you are." She gently stroked his soft cheek with her thumb. "Oh, Ruth, he's divine," she said.
"Thank you, Fiona. I think so, too." Ruth beamed.
"He favors you quite a bit, I think," Fiona said. "He's got your coloring for sure. That corn silk hair. So sweet."
"We'll see how long it lasts," Ruth said. "Everyone says it's going to get dark like his daddy's."
"One can only hope," Madeline said with a fake smile. "Otherwise they may think you got yourself knocked up and suckered my son into being a daddy." She fake laughed.
A bizarre smile formed on Ruth's face. Michael suddenly felt connected to her. Not many people got to experience Madeline like he did. Now Ruth belonged to that exclusive club.
"So, Bro, what do you think?" Nate asked excitedly.
"He's very nice," Michael said.
"You wanna hold him?"
"Oh, uh, I don't – I don't think that's a good idea," he stammered. "He seems content with you. I don't want to disturb him."
"Oh, c'mon, Bro, it's easy! Here, sit down. I'll get him situated for you." Michael didn't move.
"Sit down, Michael," Madeline snapped. "Jesus."
"All right, Ma," sighed Michael. He sat down. "What do I do?" he asked Nate.
"You're perfect just like that, Bro. Just kinda make a basket with your arms. Here, like this." Nate adjusted Michael's arms with one hand while cradling Charlie against his chest with the other. "Okay, here you go!" He gently placed Charlie in Michael's arms. His arms were always sturdy, but today they were as stiff as logs. Michael didn't breathe. "Relax, Bro. You're doing great. You won't break him."
"He probably feels fragile because he's just wearing that thin little shirt," Madeline said. "When babies are wrapped up in blankets like they should be to keep them warm, they feel more secure. And it's easier to hold them."
Ruth got her permagrin again. "Fiona, I'm going for a little mani/pedi pampering later. It's Nate's gift to me. You wanna come?" Her eyes pleaded.
"Umm, sure, that'd be lovely. Just us?" Fiona asked tentatively, glancing at Madeline.
Permagrin still plastered on her face. "Yep, just us! I thought I'd give Madeline as much time as possible with her grandson."
Madeline fake smiled back and instinctively took a cigarette out of her pouch.
"Ma!" "Mom!" "No!" yelled Nate, Michael, and Ruth.
She looked startled, and then she figured it out. "Whoops, sorry. Force of habit. I'll be in the backyard. Enjoy your pedicure, Ruth. How nice it must be to just forget you're a mother. I never had that luxury." All said with a smile. Then she slammed the back door behind her.
Ruth let out the breath she'd been holding since they came into the living room. "Nate, I swear, I can't take her for four days," she whimpered as she leaned against him. "Thin little shirt? It's 85 degrees in this house! Why can't we stay in a hotel?"
Nate wrapped his arms around her. "It'll be okay, baby. Mike and I survived. She's really not that bad once you get to know her."
"Not that bad? She's horrible, Nate! She hates me. She thinks I'm a terrible mother."
"No, she doesn't," Nate said, trying to sound reassuring. "Mike, tell her that's just how she is."
Michael was still sitting ramrod straight and motionless with Charlie in his arms. Charlie was fidgeting, trying to get comfortable with a most uncomfortable person. "Would you like him back?" he asked nobody in particular.
Ruth walked to him and rescued Charlie. Both Charlie and Michael relaxed immediately. "What were you saying, Nate?" he asked.
"I said tell her that's just how Mom is." He turned back to Ruth and kissed her. "She doesn't hate you, baby. I promise."
Michael leaned back on the couch and put his feet on the coffee table. "She hates everyone, Ruth. It's not personal."
Ruth scoffed. "Great."
"In her mind, nobody's good enough for her baby," Fiona said.
"Did she hate you at first?" Ruth asked. Realizing she'd backed herself into a corner, Fiona looked to Michael. The truth would make Ruth feel worse.
"No, but that's because she holds me in low esteem," said Michael. "She thinks I'm not good enough for Fi."
Fiona nodded.
"Ugh. Nate, seriously, let's go to a hotel," Ruth said. "We'll tell her . . . I don't know, we'll tell her Charlie's having a reaction to all the smoke or something."
Nate tried to talk under his breath to Ruth. "Baby, we don't have the money for a hotel." But Michael and Fiona heard him anyway. An awkward silence sat heavy in the room.
"You know," Fiona said after a few moments, "we never got you a baby gift. Or a wedding gift, for that matter. Let this be our gift to you. Stay wherever you'd like. It's Michael's and my treat."
Michael stared at her.
"Oh, no, Fiona. We couldn't do that. It's too much," said Ruth.
"Nonsense. We'd love to do it."
Michael stared at her some more.
"Listen," Fiona continued, "either you two go to a hotel, or you stay in the loft and we'll go to a hotel. We're spending the money either way. Wouldn't you prefer to be in some oasis on the beach instead of that pit?"
"Hey," Michael said.
"Well?" she asked.
Nate and Ruth exchanged one final glance. "We'd love it," Ruth said, hugging Fiona. "Oh, Fiona, thank you soooo much. And thank you, Michael! Best brother-in-law ever!" Ruth hopped on the couch next to him and threw her arms around him. Michael looked as uncomfortable as he did when he was holding Charlie. He smiled and waited for it to end.
The oven timer buzzed. Fiona went to investigate. "Well, that explains the smell. Your mom made meatloaf," she said.
Ruth looked at Nate. "You were supposed to tell her I'm a vegetarian!"
"I did," said Nate. "And now I understand the meatloaf."
Author's Note: I'm excited about this collection. The show alluded to so many gaps of time but wasn't able to develop them. I'm developing some of them. I'm not going in order, so you'll see me bounce from season to season. You can read them in any order as well; each story can stand alone. I look forward to reading your comments.
