Song used for title: The Suburbs by Arcade Fire
January 9th, 1994
3:22 PM
Renee stared in disbelief at the multiple pregnancy tests she had splayed out on the sink, covering her mouth as she released a strangled gasp and her eyes welled with tears. It couldn't be. She couldn't be pregnant. She just couldn't bring a child into this world, fatherless with only a broken mother to carry the two of them. They deserved better than that, better than her. But what else did this mean? The nausea and fatigue could be due to the stress she was having since the divorce, however she was late. It could only mean one thing. When she and her husband -well now ex husband- had… that's right, goodbye sex, without limitations where they expressed their final unsaid words. How could she have been so careless, what was she thinking? That's it, she wasn't.
As she mused over how to go on about the situation, a morbid thought passed through her mind. Maybe she could… get rid of it. No, no, that was absurd. And besides it could have just been a false alarm, nothing certain. She hoped for that as she disposed of the pregnancy sticks in her trash bin and then exited the bathroom and hastily pulled on a jacket before heading downstairs and grabbing her car keys off of the kitchen counter. She'd have to see a professional to know for sure.
April 12th, 1994
2:05 PM
Renee Swan was indeed pregnant. Four months to be exact and she hated it. She hated the sore heels and the looks she received every time she went out. The only perk was that since she and her ex husband had lived in Forks their whole lives meant that she knew everyone and assistance would always be given whether she needed someone to carry her grocery bags or an old friend to help make her dinner when she was far too exhausted. Still, she felt lonely and it seemed no one understood, perhaps for the reason that she couldn't find the words to explain.
That's why she had decided to attend child birth classes on Sundays since she couldn't bear to surround herself with the overbearing thoughts of what she'd do once this child was born. Vaguely she wished Charlie were there with her, to help her through whatever she was going through, but she knew she didn't want him, she just wanted someone and the man had definitely made it clear he wanted nothing to do with their child, only agreeing to pay child support and nothing else.
So she sat on her purple yoga mat, legs crossed, wearing a maternity blue tank top and yoga pants and her hair tied into a loose bun. This had been her third time attending and she had come to appreciate that appearance hardly mattered to any of the other women. They all understood the inconvenience of pregnancy and could hardly care less about impressing everyone else with how they looked.
"Is this spot taken?" A gentle voice pulled her out of her musings and Renee looked up to see a woman with chest-nut colored hair and piercing blue eyes, seemingly in her late-twenties like herself. The woman was wearing a similar outfit aside from the fact that her tank top was pink. Her smile was welcoming and instantly warmed Renee's frozen interior.
"Of course not." Renee replied, scooting over a bit so the woman could lay down her mat, which was also pink. It didn't take much to realize the woman had a thing for the color.
"Thanks, this is my first class so I wasn't quite sure if someone else might sit here." The woman admitted sheepishly before taking a seat. Renee was already beginning to the like the woman. She seemed different than most of the people she had grown up with, better in a way and slowly she let her eyes travel down to the woman's stomach and… wow. The woman's stomach was huge, there seemed to be no other way to put it. It was as if she were to burst any second and Renee wondered if she would be giving birth right then and there.
"I'm six months." The woman answered the unasked question.
"A boy or girl?" Renee had found herself asking when her eyes met a piercing blue.
"A girl. I can hardly contain my excitement." She beamed at Renee, who suddenly felt self conscious. Would the woman think lowly of her for not having a husband too?
"So are you having a boy or a girl?" Renee was once again pulled away from her thoughts.
"A girl too." She revealed, absentmindedly placing a hand on her stomach. She could feel her unborn daughter kicking as she did so and a soft smile crept onto her lips. Despite the circumstances she had grown to love her unborn child, seeing as she was her only company and shared the same situation as she, though the child was unaware of it. On the nights where depression would take over, she'd lie in bed and place her hand to her stomach, whispering to her unborn infant.
"Maybe our children could wind up being friends." The brunette flashed a grin. "And since we moved here from Mississippi two months back, I wouldn't mind a friend either; my husband actually suggested this class."
"Mississippi?! Why would you come here?" Renee hadn't meant for it to come out harshly, but most people moved from a place like that to escape. Not to end up in Forks of all places. And was she really that out of sync with the town gossip that she failed to hear about a new family moving into town?
Noticing Renee's apologetic look, the woman quickly waved it off. "It's fine. My mother had harassed me about the same thing. I simply wanted a small town where my children could bond with people they'd know for the rest of their life and a co-worker of my husband's had come here once on business and mentioned how close everyone was and it just felt like the place to be."
"Everyone here is very close." Renee confirmed, nodding thoughtfully, trying not to count how many times the woman mentioned her husband in their conversation.
"Then I was correct. And may I know your name?" The woman questioned.
"Renee Swan." The brunette informed her. "And yours?"
"Eve Brandon."
July 21st, 1994
5:34 PM
Renee couldn't hold back the tears that slowly rolled down her cheeks as she held the young infant in her arms, smiling down at her lovingly. Her friend had come so far and it all had been almost halted when Eve had to have an emergency C-section only eight hour ago. But she was alive and well and this would be a story to be told in future years.
"What have you named her?" Renee asked quietly, not wanting to wake the newborn from her slumber.
"We finally settled on, Mary Alice Brandon." Eve's husband, William, informed her, beaming at the child in Renee's arms. Renee couldn't help but want to remember this moment forever. During the first month of their friendship, Renee had revealed to Eve about her divorce and the situation she had been left in. Eve was nothing but understanding and even revealed that her own mother had been single and hadn't remarried and she turned out absolutely fine. Eve was better than fine, she was the perfect friend, but of course Renee never said that aloud. It didn't need to be said.
September 13th, 1994
12:46 PM
Giving birth hadn't been an easy process for Renee, but then again it was the first time she had, but definitely the last as well. She promised herself that.
"Are you feeling better?" Eve asked, making her way into the hospital room with a bag full of concealed items. Renee suspected her friend's husband was at home taking care of the children in their mother's absence and Renee felt a tiny twinge of guilt. Friends had been stopping by to say congratulations along with bringing gifts and balloons, the whole nine yards. So as far as company went, she would be alright, but then again, this was her best friend, the woman who had given her a new sense of perspective towards life along with the ability to smile again.
"Other than the fact that I just gave birth to a child no more than seven hours ago, I'm just peachy." Renee chuckled.
"I can only imagine." Eve smirked, coming to a stop at Renee's bed side and setting the bag down.
"What's in the bag?" The brunette wondered.
"Since you'll have to be here for about another forty-eight hours, I just brought you a little kit to keep you sane," Eve winked. "But enough about that, how's little Isabella?" She asked as her eyes shifted down the infant. Renee had settled on the name: Isabella Marie Swan.
"She's just fine." Renee responded. Her gaze returned to her daughter, filled with a love she regretted questioning when she first discovered she was pregnant. "My little angel…" She whispered, kissing her baby's forehead as the infant blindly reached towards the familiar voice.
