I don't own any of the characters, Joss owns em all.
This is set directly after the end of "Parting Gifts" It might lead to a story arc about Cordelia's early difficulties with being a Seer, and her platonic, platonic did I mention platonic friendship with Angel. Anyway, I thrive on feedback, good, bad and ugly so please give me an idea of what you think of it. For now, read and hopefully enjoy:
Taking Stock
Eggs, Wesley mused as he stretched for another slice of toast, had never tasted quite so good. Unsure as to whether to attribute his enjoyment of the breakfast spread before him to Angel's culinary skills or to the fact that he hadn't enjoyed a substantial meal in the better part of a month, the ex-Watcher nonetheless decided that an appreciative compliment was in order.
"I must say Angel," Wesley buttered the toast with a few even strokes of his knife as he glanced at the vampire who sat to his left, huddled over a book, "Cordelia is quite right. You really are a remarkable cook."
Angel nodded in absentminded response, something in the Text of Gift-bearers apparently consuming his attention. "Eggs and toast Wesley," he softly mumbled as flicking a page overleaf he leaned a little closer to the book and inspected an ancient illustration, "Its nothing too complicated." Angel slouched back in his chair with a frustrated sigh, irritation sweeping across his face as he lifted his eyes to the ceiling above.
"This just doesn't make sense."
Stretching an idle hand to scratch the back of his neck, the vampire mulled over the contents of the text he had just read, before hopeful inspiration struck him. His somber expression lightened as casting a side-glance to the man beside him, Angel leaned forward and slid the book across the table's wooden surface toward the Englishman.
Wesley hastily swallowed and pushed his plate aside. "What doesn't make sense?" he tugged the book closer and swiveled it around. A quick look alerted him to the reason behind Angel's exasperation.
"Yes" Wesley murmured as his eyes scanned the passage, "I had wondered as much."
"Wondered what?" Cordelia's voice was almost unexpected, for her bright mood had faded as soon as the three had sat down to breakfast. She had sat silently twisting her fork through an untouched breakfast, her eyes sometimes gliding over the framed picture beside her, assessing it carefully as though somewhere in the depths of the illustration, she would find answers to unspoken questions. Wesley found her silence unnatural, unnerving and suspected Angel was equally concerned, if the discreet searching gazes he frequently ran over the young girl were anything to go by.
Cordelia's fingers stilled on the fork as she turned heavy eyes to Wesley.
"Well?" she prompted with a small smile that somehow seemed to emphasize her uncharacteristic vulnerability.
Anger rippled through the Englishman as a fleeting memory of the night's earlier events raced through his mind. Barney, threatening her, frightening her. Bastard. If I had caught up with the demon earlier, I could have tracked Barney, got him before he took her.
"Earth to Wesley?" Cordelia spoke sharply, her expression working itself into a mixture of confusion and impatience. "What had you wondered as much?"
Her imitation of his accent was flawless and Wesley hoped, beneath his vague pique at her teasing, a sign that her ordeal had shaken her less than he feared. He opened his mouth, unsure of how to answer. Angel would hardly want to him to reveal their concerns to the young Seer. What could he say?
We're confused at the extraction method Barney attempted earlier as all the texts point to it's long-term failure as a harvesting technique. A Seer would be considered lucky to suffer mere blindness, usually kidnapped Seers were subjected to devastating techniques. They were often exposed to intensive mental tortures devised to increase their susceptibility to visions until in the end, their gift was constant, the visions endless, the pain intolerable, their personality lost in a mass of images from another realm, for other beings.
No, Wesley determined with conviction, I can hardly say that. He found a smile for the nineteen-year old beside him, hoping for sudden inspiration. He never had been a good liar. The ex Watcher was saved by a hand that stretched over and slammed The Text of Gift-bearers firmly shut, the offending passages lost within its pages. Angel pushed the book over to the pile he had carried from the library and spoke indifferently as his gaze flickered over the girl seated opposite him.
"We were just wondering why Barney hasn't been mentioned in any of the records we have. A nasty fellow like him would normally be worthy of at least a footnote."
A bitter smile settled on Cordelia's bruised lips as she allowed the fork to drop to her plate. "If they're looking for volunteers, I'll write a whole chapter on him." A small sigh escaped her as she leaned back in her seat, her eyes suddenly dull as her fingers played with her newly held knife, "Hell he deserves a book."
Angel watched her intently for a moment, his anxious eyes raking over her small frame. "I thought you were hungry." His tone was gently probing as he leaned a little closer to his young associate. "You should try and eat."
Cordelia glanced down at the plate of cold egg and wrinkled her nose in distaste. "I'm sorry Angel." She raised regretful eyes to meet his own, "I know you went to a lot of trouble to make it but I just can't." She bit her lip, her face suddenly overshadowed by silent troubles. Angel read them all, a sudden anger at the injustices of the world billowing deep within. Blind anger, unreadable on his outwardly calm face, filled him as he raged against the TPTB that had inflicted Cordelia with this burden. She's too damn young for this responsibility, too young to live out her nightmares.
Reigning in his demon, the vampire nodded slowly and exhaled an unnecessary breath as he reached for the orange juice. Angel refilled her glass and placed it in front of the teenager. "Drink that," he murmured as he pulled the knife from her hand, "I'll fix you something lighter to eat."
"Angel, I really don't…" Cordelia's protest was short-lived as lifting her plate, her friend rose to his feet and outstretched his hands slightly, determined gestures underlining his argument.
"Between your first vision and Barney's antics, you've been through a hell of a lot today Cordelia. You need to eat something. More to the point," Angel cleared her plate and carried it to the counter. If he couldn't protect her against kidnapping murderous demons, he could, well he could at least make sure she ate well. "You're going to eat something."
A muttered grumbling about interfering employers promptly earned Cordelia a stern gaze from one such being. She tossed her hands in the air with a groan of surrender, "All right, fine boss, whatever, I'll eat."
Angel bestowed a benevolent smile upon the girl. "Good Seer," he said in approval. Spying the fruit bowl, he plucked an assortment of fruit from it and debated which presentation would best tempt her waning appetite.
Cordelia eyed his back for a moment, a sly smile settling on her lips as she winked at Wesley.
"Doyle said that the best thing for a Seer after a stressful day were a few whiskeys. Of course," she went on conversationally, as she sipped her juice, "I'm not a fussy Seer. I'd settle for a couple of vodkas…"
Angel grabbed a knife and began slicing the kiwi. "Doyle" his tone was as amenable as her own, "was over twenty one. When you are over twenty-one, you can have vodka after a vision. For now though, you'll have to make do with a yummy fruit salad."
From the sounds of the snort she made, his Seer was unimpressed. "Hello, Hypocrite man, how about that time we fought the Manthra demon? You let me have a whiskey then."
"That" Angel peeled a banana, "Was for medicinal purposes. You were freezing cold so I gave you a warm whiskey to prevent hypothermia. Want star shapes in the apple?"
Cordelia sighed in exasperation, "After all I have been through today, you won't let me have one drink?"
"Nope," Angel kept her talking, glad to hear characteristic defiance in her voice.
Cordelia's inheritance of the visions had confused the vampire, she was hardly the most obvious choice as messenger. Then again, he reflected while reaching for a bowl, Doyle always warned him not to underestimate Cordelia. She's stronger than you think Angel, she can battle with us, my friend.
Doyle had consumed a half bottle of whiskey before that conversation had ever even started, Angel reminded himself as he sprinkled strawberries on top of the fruit salad. Whiskey. A small frown etched itself onto Angel's face as he remembered how Doyle sometimes leaned on the bottle a little harder than he should have. Damn visions hurt, you know, he would protest when he caught Angel's questioning look.
Cordelia would have to face the same agonizing pain, the same mental torments, would have to sense the fear and anguish of the visions. He didn't want, no, won't allow her to use anything as a crutch, well except him. He would have to steer her through these earlier visions, guide her toward an acceptance of them. Under his watchful eye, nothing else would happen her. With that thought heartening him somewhat, the vampire turned around and placed the fruit salad in front of his scowling young associate.
"Eat that. No drinking for at least another two years, and even then only in minute quantities. End of conversation."
Ire flashed in Cordelia's eyes as he took his seat opposite her. "Listen here Mister I've lived so many centuries I've forgotten what it is to be young," Angel prepared himself for what he guessed would be a long tirade. "You may be my employer and occasional life saver but I'll have you know that…"
From the head of the table, Wesley watched their interchange with fascination. He couldn't help but wonder at how two such unlikely people had become friends. Cordelia Chase had always been as self-absorbed as Angel had been distant, and yet the familiar banter the pair indulged in now belayed a close friendship, a mutual and genuine affection for the other. They knew each other well these two, Wesley mused, as he remembered watching Cordelia fling herself in Angel's arms, her words drifting through his mind now, I never doubted for one minute that you'd find me. Angel's earlier fear for Cordelia had been apparent, all control finally snapping at the hotel when the demon within waged war on those who had taken her from him. Hard to believe that that fury-bent demon was the same man had just managed to lift the nineteen-year old from her silent reverie, seemingly effortlessly. The same man who watched her pick at the salad he prepared for her in satisfaction as he lectured her on the evils of underage drinking.
Trust, Wesley realized as she watched Cordelia slap Angel's hand away from her fruit, she trusted the vampire implicitly. A dead man born over two centuries earlier had achieved what very few ever had, he had earned Cordelia Chase's devoted trust. The girl from Sunnydale High had certainly changed a great deal. The sarcasm, the hardness, the defensiveness were all still there but there was something new and refreshing about her. An ability to think about other people being most obvious but other qualities had emerged over the day, some almost endearing. An ability to laugh at herself, to mock her newly impoverished situation, something old Cordelia would never have managed. And then there was this loyalty to Angel and to this Doyle character. It must be nice, Wesley thought a little wistfully, to inspire that devotion in someone.
Cordelia's amused voice dragged the ex Watcher back to the conversation at hand.
"See Angel I'm telling you he's still in the British time-zone, it takes him like forever to answer an American's question." She looked knowingly at her employer, "You being European speeds things up for him."
Wesley smiled bashfully. "I'm sorry Cordelia, I am afraid I was daydreaming." He looked down at his empty plate. "Once again Angel, I thank you for a delicious breakfast, however I really should be making tracks. It's almost two 'o clock in the morning." The Englishman pulled his chair free and rose to his feet, his stomach uncomfortably full.
Angel hurried to stand. "Actually Wesley, I was hoping you could hang about, you know, help me research why our friend Barney isn't in the text?"
Cordelia rolled her eyes. "Lame Angel. Don't worry, I'm really not interested in whatever aspect of Seer torture you are researching so no need to hide it from me. I won't peek, I promise."
Angel grinned with wry repentance. "It's not like that Cordelia, I just wanted to know why they chose extract…"
She held up a hand, "This would be me not wanting to know remember?" Hints of despair laced her tone.
He fell silent and turned questioning eyes to Wesley. Wesley in turn, glanced at Cordelia.
"I'd be delighted to help." He said simply.
Angel pointed toward the library. "Let's begin."
"It could simply be that they have managed to perfect the extraction method." Wesley lifted his eyes from the text that was by now blurring together. He rubbed his eyes and watched Angel consider his suggestion thoughtfully.
"I don't know" Angel finally said, "I mean, the extraction method is notoriously problematic. I think it was less about the gift then about leaving me a message."
"A message?" Wesley looked confused.
"A message," Angel repeated softly, "From someone who wants me to back off. What better way than hurt the only person in this town that I care about. They know what finding her blind and bleeding would do to me." He swallowed hard at the thought, realization dawning upon him.
"Wolfram and Hart."
The words stung in his throat as his eyes drifted toward the kitchen.
"Wolfram and Hart." Wesley echoed, his confusion unrelieved.
Angel rifled through a pile of files and handed one to Wesley. "That's all I got on them." He closed over the book he had been reading and moved to his feet. "I'm going to check on her" he murmured as he passed Wesley, leaving the Englishman to educate himself on the finer points of L.A. law.
"I thought I told you to eat that." Angel scolded as he stepped into the kitchen.
Cordelia lifted her spoon from the half-eaten fruit salad with an indignant look. "Could you please stop clucking?" She picked up the bowl, scooted around to the bin and scraped the remaining salad into the bin. "It was very tasty but I'm just not all that hungry tonight."
Angel leaned against the refrigerator and waited until she turned to him. She faltered a little under his steady gaze, belatedly mustered a smile for him, focusing her eyes on the refrigerator behind him.
"Tell you what, I'll return the favor, make you some nice spicy blood and you can leave half of it behind okay?" He could hear the forced cheer in her voice.
"Are you okay?" Angel interrupted, his tone low yet affectionate.
Cordelia took an instinctive step backward as she looked at him in askance.
"I'm fine." Her smile grew timid as she glanced down at her hands, intertwining and separating her fingers as she spoke. "I mean I think I'm fine."
Angel pushed himself from the refrigerator and in a few swift paces had crossed over to her.
"Hey" he said softly as with one finger he tilted her chin upwards, so that he was looking directly into her damp eyes "You've been through a lot today, it would be odd if you weren't shaken by it."
"Oh good" Cordelia laughed breathlessly "I'm definitely not odd then."
Angel smoothed rogue hair-strands from around her small face. "You did good today Cordelia, I'm proud of you."
Her eyes dimmed a little. He cocked his head, "What is it?"
Biting her lip, Cordelia backed away another step, her hands dropping to the pockets of her trousers. "I don't know" she began awkwardly, "I mean, today all right I did okay, but in the whole Seer run of things, you know doing the vision thing well, telling you what TPTB want, well" Looking up, she locked eyes with the vampire, "I'm no Doyle."
Angel's head jerked back in surprise. He had expected her to be upset about the pain or inconvenience of being the PTB's messenger, not fearful of her inadequacy for the position. An inadequacy, Angel realized with a little guilt, he had expressed inner concerns over. No more, he berated himself, his responsibility to his Seer began now.
He stepped forward, moving closer as she retreated so that within three paces, he had backed her into a corner. She flinched as he raised a hand to her face and rested his palm on her cheek. The movement re-sparked the ache within as he wondered just how many nightmares Barney had bequeathed upon the young girl.
"Cordelia" There was a commanding edge in his voice, a firmness that demanded her full attention. Angel waited until he had it. He wanted her to fully understand and most importantly believe what he was about to say. "I'm not worried about you being a good Seer, I know you're more than up to the job. And I'm not worried about you not being able to handle the visions, you're good for that too. But I am worried."
He watched curiosity settle in her hazel eyes.
"I'm worried that somehow, you may have the crazy idea that you're supposed to know how to do this whole Seer painful vision thing and not be scared by it. I'm worried that you think I miss Doyle because he was my Seer, when I miss him because he was my friend. I'm worried that you may somehow think that you're alone in all of this."
Angel dropped a gentle kiss on her forehead. He glanced back down at her, relieved to see the tears she had fought all night streaming down her face. "You're not alone. You're not just any Seer Cordelia. You're my Seer. So that means its me and you in this thing, together."
She nodded and with a gulp launched herself toward him. Angel half-staggered under the forceful assault and steadied himself by wrapping strong arms around her. He squeezed her tightly hoping to somehow convey the genuine meaning behind his words through his embrace. They stood perfectly still, celebrating new understandings, mourning a lost friendship in the silence of the vampire's kitchen. Finally and predictably Cordelia was the first to speak.
"Thanks Angel," she disentangled herself from his arms and wiped the tears from her face with a shaky hand. "I guess I needed a pep talk." She scrunched her eyes and surveyed him thoughtfully. "You're getting pretty good at that you know. Soon you could do like a demon talk show." Devilish humor brightened her face "Imagine the weird couples you'd have to sort out?"
Angel grinned as he reached for the tissue box. "I could start in Sunnydale" he handed her a tissue.
"Yeah, starting with Xander" Cordelia's face was lost under the tissue for a moment and when it re-appeared it looked remarkably fresher.
"Right" the quiet darkness that flitted across her face was pushed aside by an expression of firm resolution, "I better head home. Dennis will be missing me."
Angel caught her arm as she made to move past him. "Why don't you stay here tonight?"
Her face softened and she looked up at him with a half smile. "You can't watch over me all the time Angel."
"I know" he answered a little defensively as he shifted uneasily from one foot to another. "But it's late and well, can't you just humor an old man for one night? You can even have the bed."
Cordelia glanced at her watch and frowned slightly. "It is late," she admitted, half to herself. She shrugged at Angel and wrapping an arm around his waist, walked out of the kitchen with him "All right Dad, I'll stay tonight but you know, you're going to have to get used to the fact that your Seer is all grown up now."
"That's why she has a cellphone," Angel agreed gravely "So I know where she is at all times."
His comment was rewarded with a punch from his young associate. "I'll think I'll take a shower before bed."
Angel nodded as he pushed her toward the bathroom. "All right, there's extra towels in there. You want me to pick you up anything from your place?"
Cordelia considered his question before a moment. "Just some stuff to wear tomorrow. Let Dennis pack a bag for me and tell him I'll be home tomorrow night." She wagged a finger at the vampire "He tends to get a little antsy if I'm not around, so be nice."
"I'm always nice." Angel reminded her, the closing bathroom door his answer.
With a shake of his head, he turned back to the library.
"They sound like quite an interesting bunch" Wesley waved the Wolfram and Hart file at Angel as the vampire maneuvered his way around the book scattered around the floor to his seat.
"They are that and more." Angel answered as he took the file from the Englishman and flung it on top of the others.
Wesley indicated toward the outer rooms, "She's all right?"
The vampire rubbed a hand over his weary eyes, "I think so." Determination entered his tone, "She will be. I'll make sure of it."
Wesley nodded carefully as he surveyed the man opposite him. "I rather believe you will. You care very much for her, don't you?"
Angel laughed harshly, his sudden bitterness surprising the ex Watcher. "You know" the vampire confided "That's what I set out to avoid after I left…" old agony rose in his dark eyes.
"Buffy" Wesley finished for him.
Angel grimaced. "Buffy." He took a breath "And the others. I promised myself that I wouldn't get close enough to care, that I'd just help people and keep to myself. And then Doyle and Cordelia somehow manage to worm themselves in my life."
"And you weren't lonely anymore" Wesley added knowledgeably.
"Exactly," Angel's hand gently skimmed the wooden surface of the desk. "I wasn't lonely. And though Doyle's gone, I'm still not lonely." A fond smile jumped to his lips. "You know every morning she checks to make sure I'm here? Even if I leave a note upstairs to say patrol went well, she comes on down to see for herself. I think she's afraid some demon with excellent forgery skills will take me some night."
The vampire's face grew somber. "And because of her association with me, she's got this Seer ability. So I'm not lonely and she's cursed with visions."
Wesley shifted in his seat "That's not your fault Angel. The Powers That Be chose her. It would seem to have been inevitable."
Angel sighed and tilted his neck from one side to another. "Maybe, but there's tough times ahead for her. She's still so young, and I feel responsible for her. "
"You are responsible for her" Wesley agreed "But I have a feeling you're going to do fine." He paused, a little uncertain of how to frame his thoughts.
"Angel, I know how you feel for Buffy, I know how hard this past year has been for you , how hard it must be every day to stay away from her." Honest English eyes rested on the vampire, "But don't feel guilty for having acquired a family in Cordelia and Doyle. You can repent all you like but you do deserve to have people care about you." Wesley's face tightened a little. "Everyone deserves that."
"Yeah" Angel said, "I guess they do." His eyes turned to the books scattered around the room. "C'mon Wesley" he nodded to them "You give me a hand to catalogue these and I'll get Cordelia to cook us dinner tomorrow night."
Wesley grimaced "Tell you what" he promised as he rose from the chair "Have her treat us to takeout and it's a deal."
