A/N

Thanks for reading. please review, since this is my first fanfic ever. it's a bit short maybe, i'll try to make longer chapters

CH. 1 : 'Control'

The loud music pounded trough my room as I turned the bass on, and the volume high. I sat down on the ground next to my bed, leaning my back into the frame as I picked up my pocketknife. I closed my eyes as I pulled up my sleeve. My heartbeat was pounding in my ears, louder and faster than the music. Faster than it should be. My breathing was shallow. The vibrant red pulsed behind my closed eyelids, as I put the knife on my upper arm, added pressure, and pulled back. A sigh escaped my lips as the burning sensation made me feel almost exhilerated.

'Control. I need to regain my control. I can't lose my control', i thought to myself.

I cut trough my skin a second time. And a third. And then I just kept going untill my heartbeat slowed down, my breathing turned back to normal, and my eyelids didn't pulse red anymore. My arm burned from the cuts, as I felt blood dripping down. Slowly I opened my eyes.

'How many this time?'

I took in the damage as I counted.

'Too much'

My dad slammed my bedroom door against the wall.

"Yukino! Turn that music down! Now!"

Ofcourse he'd start yelling as soon as he came home. Calmly I pulled down my sleeve and got up. If he noticed the cuts, I knew he'd never say anything about it , or it would be a hatefull remark. He didn't care anyway. Never did, not even then...

My mother yelled at my dad, while she started crying.

"That's it! I've had enough! I will not accept you tormenting me any longer! This time I mean it. I'm leaving!"

And she picked up her suitcases and walked right out the frontdoor, and out of my life. And he just snorted as she left.

"Good ridance", and he gave me a faul grin, like he purpossely tried to hurt me.

I know she didn't leave me, or at least; she didn't intend to. But I never saw her again. She moved as far away from my dad as she possibly could. She fled. She emailed and called me every now and then, but truthfully, I was hurt by the fact that she left me here, with him. I knew why she left. I knew what he was like. Just as I knew he would not let me leave too. First of all, I was still a minor. Second of all...I was his favourite toy

I walked over to my radio and turned the volume down.

"Anything else?", I taunted him.

I knew I was provoking him, I knew that. I just hated him so much for imprissoning me like this. For not allowing me to have a lock on my bedroom door, and allways invading my privacy. There was only one reason why I did not go to the police to turn him in; when the time was right I would kill him with my own hands, without getting convicted, because it would be selfdefense. That's why provoking him didn't bother me, even though I knew what might happen if I did. I just needed to be pushed a little more. So close to the edge..

'Just another nudge old man, and I'll send you straight to hell.'

"Get diner ready, bitch."

And he left. No remarks on dressing up, as he sometimes did. Fine. I'd get diner ready. Maybe I would poison him in the process. First him and then myself. I wanted to taste the sweet bliss of death.

...

...

...

Next morning was Monday. The first day at a new school, since my father decided to move to Magnolia over the summer break. The school was called "Mavis' Higschool for the gifted." Apparently it gave it's students the freedom to explore and develop their talents, and the teachers gave appropriate guidance, adapted to each students' qualities. I liked that. Maybe I'd finally be able to play the piano again. I loved music. It calmed me, soothed me. Especially classical music.

As I got ready for school, my father passed me in the hallway on his way to work. Just when I thought he would let me leave without messing with me for once, he shoved me asside and pushed me against the wall, one hand on my right shoulder, the other firmly grasping my chin, forcing me to look at him.

"Listen up. If I find out you start dating one of those punks at school, I'll beat you within an inch of your life, understood?"

"Yes, sir." '

As if I wanted a boyfriend after being diviled by you', I thought.

As if he read my mind, his left hand lowered to my breast, squeezing it.

"That's right, you little slut. You're mine."

And after that he let go, pushing me out the front door. As I started to feel nauseous, I ran out of the street and turned the corner to the subway station. I made my way to some bushes, and bent over them, emptying my stomach on the leafs.

"Fuck".

He got to me again.

Arriving at school, I noticed it was huge, and crowded with students.

'Oh God, help me.'

I hated crowds. It was allways so narrow and noisy. I already heard over a thousand voices at once, all from the students and teachers crowding the school grounds. It was getting on my nerves. I grabbed my upper arm, putting pressure on the cuts. I wanted to tear them open, and let the stress bleed out.

A warm hand touched my right shoulder.

"You ok?"

My stomach twisted in my body as I realised a guy was touching me, and in a split second I swirled around, slapping his hand away. The pink haired boy shook his hand more in surprise than actual pain, and stared at me a bit dumbfounded. His party of friends looked at me with surprise and distrust, although one black haired guy looked pretty amused. I knew I overreacted but he startled me. A blonde stepped forward.

"Sorry, Natsu probably startled you. Are you allright? You look a bit off."

I stared into her big brown eyes, and tried to see if I could trust her.

"I'm fine", I finally replied.

"I just got a bit overwhelmed. I'm not used to having so many people at one school."

I gave the pink haired guy a coutious glare.

"Sorry about that."

He gave me the widest (and honestly the dumbest) grin I had ever seen.

"No problem."

He held out his hand.

"I'm Natsu."

I carefully shook his hand, noticing how feverish this guy felt, making sure not to flinch at the contact.

"Yukino Agria."

Natsu nodded and gestured at the blonde.

"That's my girl Lucy."

Lucy nodded with a bashfull smile when he said 'my girl'. Natsu gestured at the blackhaired guy, who was almost shirtless, apart from a sleeveless jacket he was wearing, showing of his clearly toned and tanned upper body.

'What the hell?'

"That's Gray, my best buddy",

Natsu told me, as he was already turning around slightly to point at the others. There was a beautifull red haired girl, who was obviously older than Natsu, Lucy and Gray, And a blue haired guy , standing quietly next to her.

"That's Erza and Jellal."

Natsu finished his introductions with a smile. Erza nodded with a stern face, as Jellal smiled at me slightly.

"Hello, Yukino. It's nice to meet you."

Jellal's voice was gentle and soft, and somehow I felt a little more at ease. I nodded in return, and decided to ask for a little help.

"Say,Lucy. I need to go to the secrettary's office, to get my schedule and such. Could you tell me where it is?"

Lucy smiled, seemingly pleased with my request.

"Ofcourse, come with me. I'll show you."

As she led me into the building, I noticed the entire party followed us. They must be close friends. Lucy showed the building to me on the way to hte office, explaining in wich direction what classes were held.

"Here we are",

she said, stopping in front of a door that had the name 'Ms Mirajane Strauss' on it.

"She is young, but very kind",

Lucy told me.

" If you need anything, you can ask her".

I smiled and thanked her, and said goodbye to the entire group, before turning towards the door. I took a deep breath, and knocked.