The Bat Came Back
By Monoshiri
A/N: My first post on ff.net. Please be nice! Rated PG-13 for swearing, projectile-vomiting, violence, attempted murder by handbag, and mild K/J yaoi references. On with the show! ^-^
Mouto Yuugi paused his sweeping and looked up at the clear blue spring sky with a smile. Despite that his grandfather had chose today, of all days, to tear a strip off him about doing his chores before going to school, it was a still a beautiful Tuesday morning. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and in the distance, he could even hear the faint sound of-
-maniacal cackling?
"Oh, that's it, Bakura!! This time you've really gone too far!!"
Yuugi dropped his broom, eyes going wide. Chores or no chores, he knew those sounds, and what kind of trouble followed them. Leaving the broom unattended in front of the Game Shop, he took off down the street in the direction of the noises.
= = = = = = =
"-and so Shizuka and Anzu are trying to figure out what to do with this hurt sparrow, right? I mean, Shizuka-chan thinks we should put it in a box and take it back home and feed it, and Anzu keeps saying we've gotta take it to an animal shelter and see what they can do to help it, and Honda and me, we're sort of with Anzu on that 'cause it looked like a cat had mauled it, and then-"
Jounouchi Katsuya trailed off and cast a look of loathing in the direction of the Game Shop bathroom, where Ryou Bakura-or someone who wanted people to *think* he was Ryou Bakura-was imprisoned, the water closet door jammed shut by one of the Mouto family's dining room chairs. For extra assurance, Honda Hiroto was sitting in that chair, and he mirrored Jounouchi's disgusted face.
The rest of the teenagers were sitting around Yuugi's living room, as was per custom, with Jounouchi keeping a watchful eye on the bathroom door. He and Anzu Mazaki were sitting on the couch with a weeping Shizuka between them; as Yuugi looked on in concern from his armchair, Jounouchi's little sister alternated between crying into her brother's shirt and clutching distraughtly at Anzu's sleeve. Jounouchi managed to compose himself again, and continued his narrative after a moment.
"So anyway, all of a sudden, Bakura, or *whatever* that guy is, grabs the bird away from Shizuka, and starts *eating* it right in front of us! And I mean, eating it alive, like biting the thing's head off!! The girls just started screaming, and Honda and me grabbed him and made him spit it out, but it was too late, so then he tries to bite *me* for good measure."
"That's awful," Yuugi gasped, looking over at the bathroom apprehensively.
"I'll say," Anzu snapped suddenly as Shizuka's sobbing died down to whimpers. "You know, Yuugi-kun, I've about had it with this-person-who lives in Bakura's Ring. Your other half is one thing, but the guy in the Ring is just beyond horrible! He's so nasty, but he's sneaky too.we can never tell any more when it's our friend Ryou, or when it's Yami no Bakura standing right next to us! And the things he does, always trying to steal your Puzzle when you're not looking-"
A pounding came from the other side of the bathroom door, causing everyone to jump. Honda hopped off the chair and braced his hands against the door as Jounouchi got to his feet, ready to help.
"Hey, guys?" Came a muffled voice from the other side of the door. "Guys? I think he's gone. Can I come out now, please? Yuugi-kun? Honda- kun?"
Honda breathed a sigh of relief and looked over at Jounouchi and Yuugi. "Should I let him out?"
"Yeah, guess we'd better explain why we locked him in there, huh?" Jounouchi mumbled with a sheepish grin. Yuugi had a nagging feeling about the situation, but it was too late for him to act because Honda had already removed the chair and opened the door. Bakura came stumbling out, looking dazed.
"Feeling better, Bakura-kun?" Anzu asked.
Bakura nodded, then wobbled over to Yuugi and presented him with something. "Hey, um, is this your grandpa's? You shouldn't leave stuff like this on the floor, you know."
As Yuugi took what appeared to be his grandpa's electric nose-hair- remover with a look of distaste on his face, he failed to see Bakura's features sharpen. He also failed to see the maniacal grin which split his friend's face, and the way Bakura's hand began to drift almost lazily towards the Sennen Puzzle.
Fortunately for both Yuugi and the Puzzle's inhabitant, Anzu *did* see those things, and let out an ear-splitting shriek in Honda and Jounouchi's direction. The two bigger boys (probably discerning that the pitch of the scream indicated "Psycho Alert") immediately threw themselves at Yami no Bakura and pinned the tomb robber to the floor with their combined weight.
Yuugi drew a shaky breath as he watched Yami no Bakura staring up at him hate-filled eyes from beneath the dog pile that was Honda and Jounouchi, both of whom looked rather pleased with themselves (although Honda looked a little squashed).
Shizuka pulled her fingers out of her ears and glowered at Anzu. "Has anyone ever told you that you sound like an air raid siren when you scream?"
Anzu grinned. "Oh, lots of people, starting with your brother. Then again, I *was* about to get raped the last time I sounded like that. I reserve my lungs for urgent situations."
"Well, congrat-u-fucking-lations." Yami no Bakura hissed furiously, having dropped all pretence of being his gentler half. "Now you've not only managed to crush most of my-or rather my host's-internal organs, but you've half-deafened him as well."
"Aww," Honda said in a mock-sympathetic voice, as he dug his knee into the small of the tomb robber's back, "the world's smallest violin is playing for you."
"Yeah, get over it." Jounouchi put in. "It's *you* we're putting the screws on, not Ryou, so don't think that 'you're only hurting my host' garbage will get you a break."
Yami no Bakura snarled one last time at Yuugi, and then evaporated as the Ring began to glow with a sullen light. In his place was a very confused (and very squished), but unmistakeably non-Yami, Ryou Bakura.
"Uhh-can you-please-get-off? Lungs-hurting-"
Honda and Jounouchi scrambled off the smaller boy hastily, then yanked him to his feet and dusted him off.
"Feeling okay, Bakura?" Yuugi asked, remembering the pile-driver the white-haired boy had suffered while possessed.
Bakura, still looking rather muzzy, as one waking up from a deep sleep, shrugged. "Er, fine, I guess, although I'd like to know how-"
His voice trailed off as his thought process cleared. "Oh."
"Yes. 'Oh' is the right word."
"What did he-I-do this time?"
Yuugi looked at Anzu. Anzu looked at Yuugi. Honda looked at the ceiling. And Jounouchi looked sternly at Shizuka, who had been about to pipe up indignantly about the sparrow-eating incident. No one said anything.
"It was bad, wasn't it." Bakura's tone indicated statement, not question.
"It could have been worse," Yuugi tried to reassure him. The white haired boy shook his head, his large brown eyes full of sadness.
"I'm sorry, guys, I really am, but I don't think I'm safe to be around. I never have been, since I got the Ring. I should probably just stay away from everybody."
"NO!"
Everyone looked over at Anzu, who had positively exploded at that. Eyes ablaze, she stood up on the couch and glared down at the startled Bakura like the Goddess of Judgement come to call.
"How can you say such a thing?? It's not right!! You can't just give in and let *him* deny you a normal life, with family and friends and, and, and other people!! You can't roll over and let him wreck your very *being*!! Bakura, we can help you *fight this*!!"
Bakura blinked. "Um, how?"
Anzu opened her mouth to say something compelling, then blinked and sat back down on the couch again.
"I don't know."
Bakura sweatdropped and looked over at Yuugi, depressed. Yuugi, however, had his chin in his hand, and appeared to be thinking deeply.
"Well, for starters, if he lives in the Ring, you should throw the Ring away," Shizuka pointed out reasonably.
"Honda tried that already during Duellist Kingdom, and it didn't work." Jounouchi told her.
"Well, how'd he try to get rid of it?"
"Pitched it into the woods from Pegasus' castle, or so I'm told."
"Hmm, just threw it away?" Shizuka seemed to be getting the phantom of a light-bulb over her head. Honda noticed this and nodded.
"Yeah, just threw it. It was all I could think of at the time, getting the Ring as far away from us as possible. I never thought it'd come *back* somehow."
Anzu looked at Yuugi, who had by this point completely zoned out, indicating that he was conversing with Yami no Yuugi mentally. Shizuka's light-bulb was becoming less phantom-like, and by now Jounouchi had noticed it too.
"So maybe we didn't try to get it far enough away-" Shizuka mumbled softly.
The light-bulb suddenly blinked to life.
"Guys, we should try to destroy the Ring. Like, permanently."
"Hmm, not a bad idea." Jounouchi beamed proudly at his sister. "She really *did* get all the brains of the family."
"Not to mention the good looks," Honda teased, causing Jounouchi and Shizuka to flick sofa cushions at him amicably. Bakura stared, realization dawning on him.
"Are you sure that's a good idea?"
"No," Anzu said, causing Honda to turn and stare at her. "However, it's the best course of action we can take at the moment. Yuugi, what do you think?"
Yuugi came back to reality with a bump, looking almost as muzzy as Bakura had been a little while ago. "Uh? Oh, yeah, right, destroy the Ring. Well, mou hitori no boku (1) can't remember anyone trying to destroy a Sennen Item before, so he's not sure about the success rate, but it might be worth a try. On the other hand," Yuugi continued, looking puzzled (a/n: no pun intended), "he seems to have misgivings about destroying a Sennen Item. But he also thinks that getting Bakura's other half away from Bakura is a good idea."
"Well, if he's worried about the 'destroying' part," Anzu said over Jounouchi's protests, "maybe we should work on extending Honda's thing, that is to say, get the Ring as far away from Bakura as we can. If that doesn't work, *then* we'll start with the sledgehammers and whatnot."
"Sounds reasonable. Everyone in agreement?"
There were nods from everyone in the room. Yuugi looked over at Bakura in concern. "Hey, before we go on with this--is your other half--?"
"Listening in?" Bakura screwed up his face a moment, then relaxed and sighed. "No, he's locked himself in his soul room and he's sulking. I can cut him off from what I'm doing when he's not trying to take control, you know, and I think you scared him pretty badly this time. He won't get up the nerve to try again for at least a few days."
"Good. In that case, where should we start?"
"How about air-mailing the Ring to Peru?" Jounouchi suggested.
"Naah, too close. How about Antarctica?"
"Aw, Honda, they don't have post offices in Antarctica. How about Nairobi?"
"Good one, Anzu, like they don't have enough problems there. Maybe Texas?"
"Yeah, Texas!" Yuugi enthused.
"Planning a trip somewhere?" Ayame Mouto asked with a smile as she set down a bowl of rice crackers on the living room table. The teenagers jumped and looked at her guiltily.
"Uh, no, not really, Mom." Yuugi mumbled, blushing. He knew his mother knew about the Puzzle, but he didn't want to have to explain about the Ring to her as well: better she assume he was the only item holder than have her find out about the -interesting-mental states of the other item holders and freak out. Not that he'd seen his mom freak out, in fact she was usually pretty laid-back about things; still, better she not know about Yami no Bakura.
"Oh, that reminds me, Yuugi," Mrs. Mouto murmured, forestalling the Yuugi-tachi's attempts to come up with a plausible excuse for their "geography game". "You got a postcard from Domino City harbour from someone named Ryouta Kajiki. It just came in today."
Yuugi took the proffered postcard with a nod of thanks and scanned it briefly, more for show than out of real interest. Suddenly, and much to the astonishment of all present, his eyes lit up, and he quickly flipped it over and looked at the date.
"Yesterday! He came in with a fishing crew yesterday! Thanks, Mom, this is great!!"
Anzu, Bakura, Jounouchi, Shizuka, and Honda all looked at each other as understanding dawned on them. Yuugi winked at Bakura.
"I don't think we'll have to send it to Texas after all, assuming Ryouta's willing to help us out. Come on, you guys, we still have three hours to get to the harbour before it closes!"
"Okay," Anzu muttered as the group set out from the Game Shop, leaving behind a very confused Ayame Mouto, "but we don't get his help by offering him a bath with me."
PART TWO
"So let me get this straight: you guys want me to take this Ring thingy out to the Japan Trench, tie it to some rocks, and throw it overboard?" Kajiki Ryouta asked, confusion written on his sun-browned features.
Yuugi, Jounouchi, Honda, Anzu, Shizuka, and Bakura all nodded in unison, silently thanking that fates that they'd made the harbour just as the gates were about to be locked. After a short reunion (and a great deal of noogying of Yuugi on Kajiki's behalf, much to Jounouchi's annoyance), the younger teenagers finally settled down and explained the reason for their visit to the fisherman-turned-duellist.
Kajiki blinked. "You sure about that? It looks pretty valuable to me."
"Trust me, it's much more valuable that this thing be *away* from the rest of civilization." Bakura said darkly, accompanied by furious nodding from Shizuka, who still hadn't forgotten the incident with the sparrow.
Kajiki sighed and took the Ring into his hands, turning it over repeatedly and testing its weight. Then he grinned and tossed it deftly into the air, catching it behind his back.
"Well, alright, I'll do it!"
"Thanks so much, Ryouta!" Yuugi exclaimed happily.
"On one condition."
Everyone sweatdropped. "I *knew* this would happen," Anzu muttered to Honda, who nodded. Yuugi sighed.
"Name your price."
"Assuming, of course, that price doesn't involve my sister," Jounouchi added sternly, putting a protective arm around Shizuka.
Kajiki snorted. "What do you think I am, some kind of cradle-robber??" He paused, and an evil grin formed on his lips. "Now, Mazaki, on the other hand-"
"SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!!"
"OW! OW! OW! OW! Okay, please, for the love of all the gods of the ocean, lay off, will ya??! I was only kidding!! Geez, you're deadly with a handbag, hon."
Rubbing the lumps on his head, Kajiki looked askance at the still-fuming Anzu before turning back to Yuugi. "Anyways, what I'd like is-"
He paused, looking almost embarrassed, then bent down and whispered something in Yuugi's ear. The smaller boy's eyes went wide, and then he perked up and smiled at the young fisherman.
"Oh, is that all? No problem. Consider it done!"
"Great! In that case, I'll see you kids in three days! Later, handbag girl!" Kajiki flashed the younger teens the thumbs-up, then stuffed the Sennen Ring in his vest pocket and started off down the docks, before pausing and turning back. "Hey, are you guys sure you want it weighted down? If I just set it free-floating, maybe rub some fish guts on it, a shark might come along and eat it!"
"No, no thanks, Ryouta!" Bakura called out after the other boy. "Just do what we asked, okay?"
Kajiki shrugged, grinned again, then sauntered off down the pier until he was lost to their sight. Bakura sighed happily.
"Well, that's that then, or so I hope."
As the little group trekked back towards Domino City, Jounouchi paused and looked over at Yuugi, his eyes worried. "Hey, um, if you don't mind my asking.you didn't, like, promise to do anything, you know, *weird* for Ryouta, did you?"
"Weird?" Yuugi echoed blankly. Then, "Oh, goodness, no, not at all! I never would have agreed to that any more than Anzu would have, and anyway, Ryouta's about as straight as they come."
"But you didn't, like, promise him one of your cards or something?" Honda asked, equally concerned.
"Again, no."
"Well, what was it, then?" Shizuka demanded, growing impatient.
Yuugi chuckled a little. "Uh, guys, anyone feel like coming with Ryouta and me to a good karaoke bar on Friday night?"
Everyone stopped and gaped, slack-jawed, at Yuugi, who just smiled in return. After a moment of silence, the pier filled with the sound of laughter.
= = = = = = = = =
However, no one was laughing the next day at school, when Yuugi, Anzu, Honda, and Jounouchi arrived in their classroom to find Bakura sitting at his desk despondently, holding none other than the Sennen Ring in his hands.
"Bakura?" Yuugi choked out.
Bakura sighed miserably. "I woke up this morning and found it on my dresser."
"Shit and pickles," Honda moaned, slumping down into his seat. "There's just no getting rid of the thing!"
"Well, obviously the 'taking it far away' bit doesn't work." Anzu mused as the boys took their seats as well. "Maybe now we should try and destroy it."
"How?"
Jounouchi put his head in his hands and muttered to himself for a little while, then abruptly sat up and looked at the others. "Hey guys, remember what Ryouta said about sharks eating it?"
Anzu blanched and shook her head furiously. "Uh-uh, Jounouchi, I know what you're thinking, and no way!"
"Well, not *literally*, but I think he was on the right track. Instead of a shark's stomach, we could try sending it someplace more permanent; like, say, the Shadow Realm."
"Oh?" Bakura said, unimpressed. "And how will we get it there?"
"Simple," Jounouchi said with a smile. "You ever seen a Blue Eyes White Dragon with its safety off?"
Yuugi slapped his palm to his forehead. "Of course! I see where you're going with this, Jounouchi!"
"So, I'm guessing that we cut next class, right?" Honda asked hopefully.
"Yep, to pay a little trip to KaibaCorp."
= = = = = = = =
"Are you sure my big brother will be okay with this?"
"Well, look at it this way, Mokuba: if he's mad at anyone, it'll be us, not you."
Mokuba Kaiba still looked unconvinced, but he led the group down the winding hallways of KaibaCorp anyhow. "I guess it's alright, as long as you don't mess up his Blue Eyes or anything. 'Cause if you did," the dark- haired boy added, turning suddenly on Yuugi and trying (unsuccessfully) to look ferocious, "it'd be *me* you'd have to answer to!!"
"I'm quaking in my skivvies," Honda muttered to Jounouchi, who prodded him in the ribs sharply.
"Hey, shut up. The kid's just trying to be tough like his big brother."
"Oh, yeah, that's right, your crush!" Honda teased in a low voice, no real malice behind his words. He'd known Jounouchi long enough that the blond's emotions were an open book to him; he and the rest of the Yuugi-tachi were well aware of Jounouchi's rather conflicting feelings towards Seto Kaiba, the handsome, haughty young businessman with eyes like ice who had faced off against both Jounouchi and Yuugi on more than one occasion. Now, however, the little group was interested in something else with blue eyes.
"Here's the simulation room; and *I'll* install my brother's deck into the holo-imager." Mokuba added sternly before going into the massive steel hall's control room and poking away at the buttons therein. A gigantic, blue form materialized before the astonished teens, as Mokuba poked his head out of the control room.
"Do you want me to shut the safety off now?"
"Yes, please," Yuugi called, sounding braver than he felt. It was bad enough facing a harmless BEWD, but one with its safety features off-
"There you go! It's off!"
Yuugi sighed and took the Ring from Bakura, nerving himself, then walked up to the huge beast as it hovered aimlessly in the middle of the room, looking almost bewildered, if a dragon can look bewildered. Yuugi approached its tooth-filled face cautiously as the others looked on, then reached up and bumped the Ring against its nose.
"Here, boy," he whispered softly to it, feeling ridiculous. There was no way that this would work. He didn't know how this thing interacted with people even with the safety off--was it even a 'boy'? "I have a nice, tasty treat right here for you-"
The BEWD looked down at Yuugi, its astonishment obvious. Then, suddenly, a look of delight settled on the dragon's reptilian features, and it bent its head down to nibble lazily on the points of Yuugi's hair.
"AAAAUUUGGGHHHH!!"
It was too much for the boy; he fled back to the outside of the holo-field in terror, while the BEWD, looking vexed, plunked itself down on it's huge scaled behind and began-was it really?-sulking. Anzu, after comforting the stunned Yuugi, lightly touched the points of his hair.
"Um, guys? It, uh, left *drool* on his hair spikes-"
"Oh, I knew this was a bad idea!" Bakura lamented, as Mokuba, his misgivings forgotten, looked over at the BEWD in delight.
"Hey, I'm *glad* you did that! Big brother's gonna fall over when I tell him that it actually *interacts* with the safety off-"
"Yeah, but that doesn't get us rid of the Ring," Jounouchi reminded him. Biting his lower lip, the blond pondered for a moment, then snatched the Ring from the startled Yuugi and walked out swiftly to where the Blue Eyes was sitting, to the disconcertion of his friends.
"Hey, Jounouchi, wait a minute!"
"Are you sure that's a good idea? I mean, it *breathed* on me!!"
"Come back, man! I don't want my best friend to end up as dragon chow!!
Jounouchi ignored their shouts and carried on until he was looking the Blue Eyes straight in the face. The huge monster gazed back at him with the kind of flinty, knowing amusement that reminded Jounouchi of its master; however, there was no time for that now. Steeling himself, he placed the Ring on his upturned, flat palm, and held it carefully beneath the BEWD's nose, as he'd been taught to do when feeding horses.
As Anzu, Yuugi, Bakura, and Honda watched with bated breath, and as Jounouchi squeezed his eyes shut and prayed that the thing wouldn't munch his arm off, the Blue Eyes, with an almost delicate motion, nipped the Ring from Jounouchi's hand, chewed on it thoughtfully for a minute or two, and then gulped it down and burped happily.
Yuugi and Honda darted out and dragged the stunned Jounouchi away from the monster before it decided to take seconds out of his arm. Mokuba smiled at the startled group.
"Hey, neat, it worked! I can't wait to tell my big brother about this-- he'll be so excited!"
"What have you *done*??!!"
Yuugi's head jerked up, and everyone turned to find Seto Kaiba standing in the simulation room doorway, looking considerably less than excited. 'Livid' was probably the best way to describe the young billionaire's expression, although livid for Kaiba was so controlled that all it amounted to was an increase in the frigidness in his eyes and a certain tightening around his jaw. Still, it was enough to make Bakura hide behind Anzu and quake, and Honda step in front of Yuugi and Jounouchi to shield them from the other boy's wrath. Mokuba flinched and coughed.
"Hi, big brother."
"Mokuba, what the Hell is going on here?" Seto demanded harshly, looking from Jounouchi and Yuugi to the recalcitrant Blue Eyes and back again. Anzu gulped.
"Uh, well, really, Kaiba, it wasn't Mokuba's fault--Bakura," she said, shoving the white-haired boy in front of her, "explain it to him!"
After a moment or two of blushing and fidgeting, Bakura managed to stutter out the whole story. Seto listened, and remained unimpressed.
"That's all very well and good, but I'll be damned," he snapped savagely, "if I want any of you involving my cards in your stupid little attempts to get rid of a hunk of metal! *Especially* my Blue Eyes White Dragon! And I can't believe that you tried to manoeuvre around me using my little brother, Yuugi," Seto continued venomously, causing Yuugi to flinch with guilt. Jounouchi began to get annoyed.
"Hey, now wait just a second! Don't go pinning this all on Yuugi-"
"And I'll be *double-damned*, bonkutsu na duellist (2), if I want *you* within ten miles of my prized Blue Eyes!" Seto snarled, rounding on Jounouchi, who bristled.
Mokuba and Yuugi glanced at each other helplessly. Once Seto (especially when he'd had a bad day at the office, which he obviously had) and Jounouchi got going at each other, there was no stopping them.
"Pull your head out of your ass and look at your Dragon for a second, Kaiba- does it look like I hurt it any when I fed the Ring to it? No!"
Kaiba was about to make a biting reply, when a strange noise caused everyone to forget the quarrel and turn to the BEWD.
The massive monster seemed to be in some sort of discomfort; it was twitching and lashing about, soft hissing sounds coming from between its teeth. As the astonished teenagers (and one preteen) looked on, the mighty Blue Eyes White Dragon abruptly threw its head back, horked hideously, and puked a small, drool-covered object across the room, to land at Bakura's feet.
For perhaps the first time in his life, Seto was speechless. He could only stare as his noble Dragon horked up a few more spitballs, then curled up sullenly in a corner of the holo-field and cast Yuugi and Jounouchi a reproachful look, as if to say, "you really should have known better".
Mokuba tugged slightly at the back of his brother's duster. "Um, Seto? Maybe we should give the Blue Eyes some tummy medicine--"
= = = = = =
"Geez, Kaiba was grouchy about that," Jounouchi commented as they walked down the street away from KaibaCorp. "Huh, it's not our fault the Blue Eyes isn't picky about its food."
"Maybe we should try feeding it to a monster with a stronger stomach," Yuugi thought out loud.
Honda paused in mid-step, then poked Jounouchi. "Hey, are you thinking--"
"Not my Red Eyes Black Dragon," Jounouchi snapped. "No way."
"No, but I'm thinking maybe," Honda trailed off and looked into the middle distance. "Maybe the guy you *got* it from--"
Anzu suddenly caught on, and a huge grin formed on her face. "I *did* see Ryuuzaki feeding his Tyrannosaurus a hubcap once--"
Yuugi rolled his eyes. "That's Ryuuzaki alright. My grandpa would have a conniption fit if he saw him pull that stunt. Alright, Ryuuzaki it is, then. I just hope we can find him."
"This also means you may have to re-think the bath thing, Anzu," Honda added cheerfully as they headed towards a subway. Anzu made a face and smacked him with her handbag again as Bakura shook his head, but after a moment she softened a bit.
"Wellllll, it *is* for a good cause, getting Bakura Yami-free and all."
"Translation being, she'll promise him anything, but she won't deliver." Jounouchi whispered to Honda and Yuugi as they started down the station stairs. "Lesson #1 from Professor Kujaku."
= = = = = = =
PART THREE
"You know, I've known for a while that you weren't exactly 'all there', Jounouchi, but I didn't know you were completely off your rocker!"
"Look, Ryuuzaki, it's just a simple request! It's not like I'm asking you to give up your Serpent Night Dragon for good or anything."
"Let me revise that last part: you're completely off your rocker and falling down the porch steps!! Do you honestly think that I'm going to hand over my favourite cards to *you*, the guy who took my Red Eyes Black Dragon, and then let you waltz off with them?? Huh? Do you?!"
Yuugi and Anzu looked at each other and sighed unhappily. This had been going on for the last half an hour, ever since Jounouchi had spotted Ryuuzaki coming out of the Arcade, ran up to him, and cheerfully asked outright if they could borrow a few of his tougher cards, namely his prized Serpent Night Dragon and his Two-Headed King Rex. Ryuuzaki had stared at Jounouchi for a while, then laughed and told him exactly where he could stick his brass nerve.
Jounouchi hadn't taken kindly to that sort of lip from a guy who was a year younger and six inches shorter than he was, and probably would have socked Ryuuzaki had Honda not grabbed him and tried to drag him away, telling him it was useless. As it was, Jounouchi managed to escape his friend's grip, and much to everyone's chagrin started trying to threaten/bargain down/convince Ryuuzaki to let the Yuugi-tachi take the cards over to the main Kaiba Land arena. Ryuuzaki hadn't bought into it, especially when Jounouchi tried to explain about feeding the Ring to the monsters (the reason given being that it was bringing Bakura bad luck).
Now, the rest of the group had been sitting on the steps near the beachfront, listening to Ryuuzaki and Jounouchi lob insults back and forth at each other, until they were stiff and bored. Bakura had, in fact, fallen asleep on Honda's shoulder and was snoring a bit: Honda himself looked none too pleased with this, but put up with it patiently and only shot Anzu a token Evil Glare when she poked Yuugi, pointed at the duo, and whispered "'Waii!" in tones of unmistakeable delight. Yuugi wondered briefly if he could get away with pretending to fall asleep on Anzu's shoulder, then decided against it. He wouldn't put it past his best female friend to casually move so that he slipped and his skull cracked on the concrete steps.
"I can't believe you're still grudging 'cause I took your Red Eyes. I mean, get over it! Plus, how many times do I have to tell you that I'm not Haga Insector?"
"Yeah-fuckin'-right!! I wasn't born yesterday, Jounouchi."
"Well, you're *acting* like you were! Look, this has nothing to do with duelling: we just wanna help Bakura get rid of that Ring thing!"
Ryuuzaki snorted and started to turn away.
"Hey, look, maybe if Mazaki here promised to go out on a date with you-??" Jounouchi called after him in last-ditch desperation.
Unfortunately, Anzu heard him, and was on him like a raging demon in an instant. "If I WHAAAAT??! ANSWER ME, JOUNOUCHI KATSUYA, IF I *WHAT*???!!!!!!!"
Yuugi sweatdropped and shouted to Honda, who deposited the sleeping Bakura on the steps and ran to help his smaller friend pry Anzu off Jounouchi, who was in danger of being strangled with her purse-strap. Ryuuzaki laughed so hard he fell over, to sit choking and snickering on the ground.
"Anzu, Anzu, *please* get off him! I'm serious, you're gonna kill him if you keep it up!"
"I'm sure he didn't mean it like that at all!!"
"Oh, the *HELL* he didn't, Honda!!"
"Aww, geez, you guys, cut it out," Ryuuzaki managed to gasp between chuckles. "Anyway, heh, I don't date brunettes."
Anzu stopped in mid-homicide and rounded on Ryuuzaki, utter astonishment written on her face. "You what? Wait a minute--you're seriously *that* shallow?"
"I thought you didn't *wanna* date him," Yuugi protested as he and Honda supported the half-strangled Jounouchi, who was massaging his throat and glaring daggers at Anzu.
"Well, I don't, but turning a girl down for her hair colour? That's just revoltingly lookist--"
"Actually, that's guy-talk for 'I'm already involved with someone'," Honda mumbled to Yuugi, who nodded. Ryuuzaki just shrugged.
"Hey, I prefer redheads."
"And blondes," Jounouchi muttered savagely, remembering Mai. "What's the matter with you that you don't wanna date Anzu?? Are you *gay* or what?"
Ryuuzaki developed a wicked smirk. "Well, look at the pot calling the kettle black."
"What's *that* supposed to mean?" Jounouchi snapped at him.
"Oh, nothing, nothing at all--*coughSetoKaibacough*!"
Jounouchi turned an interesting shade of red, as the rest of the Yuugi- tachi stared at Ryuuzaki. "Huh??"
"I just said, nothing. Now come on, dork, or I might change my mind."
"So you'll help us after all?" Yuugi prompted, a smile lighting up his face.
"Yeah, I guess; I haven't laughed that hard since Haga stole two dozen centipedes from his dad's science lab and set 'em loose in the girl's locker room last year. But if you're using my Dragon and my King Rex, I want to be there to keep an eye on them."
Honda went over and poked Bakura into wakefulness, then looked over at Jounouchi and Yuugi. "Hey, that was Haga?!"
"I guess," Yuugi said with an unbidden grin. "Boy, it was completely hysterical."
"Hmm? What was?" Bakura asked as the group followed Ryuuzaki.
"Oh, you missed it, it happened last year," Jounouchi regaled him with a laugh. "Too bad for you, though: some guy let a bunch of gross bugs loose in the junior girls' change room just after their basketball practice ended, so most of them ran screaming out into the hallway in their underwear just as the boy's class was going by. It was so--"
"Ahem--who did Ryuuzaki say did that again?"
Bakura was the only one of the boys who didn't blanch and start running at the look on Anzu's face, nor did he need special powers to tell him why she looked so mad.
"You were in that class that day, weren't you?"
"Bang on. I was one of the first to bolt, actually: I can't stand bugs."
"Oh, dear," Bakura murmured, looking apprehensive.
"It's not that bad. They didn't tell you about the time, a few months later, when someone turned the power off in the boys' changeroom, and since the switch didn't work, three of them came out in their towels to use the outside one."
Bakura blinked, then smiled to himself. "Devious. I assume I know the unlucky three?"
Anzu's answering smile told him all. "It was actually one of the funnier things Miho and I did; it was Lao Deng's idea."
"Sounds like something my Yami would do," Bakura half-smiled. Then he frowned and tapped his forehead. "By the way, there's no change so far; he's still sulking in his soul room. But it won't be long before he starts getting restless, and then I don't think I'll be able to hide what we're doing from him."
Anzu nodded, and the two of them increased their pace to catch up with the others.
= = = = = = =
Two hours later, in the main Kaiba Land arena, five very sick dinosaurs were hovering around the playing field in various stages of an upset stomach, and one very angry Dinosaur was berating Yuugi furiously.
"I *told* you we should have stopped after my Serpent Night Dragon ralphed that thing up!!"
"Well, I wanted to try feeding the Ring to lower-level monsters. I thought maybe the high-powered cards had more fragile digestive systems!" Yuugi protested.
For a while, they'd tried feeding the Ring straight out to the Dragon, but it turned up its nose at the Item every time in disgust. Finally, Bakura had a brainstorm, and Yuugi had first rubbed the Ring in his hair (to Ryuuzaki's consternation), then offered the delicacy to the Dragon, which had scarfed it down with aplomb. Unfortunately, no sooner had the Yuugi- tachi started celebrating when the Serpent Night Dragon began to make odd noises, and soon they were stuck with a spit-covered Ring again.
Undeterred, Yuugi had insisted on trying the experiment with four other dino-monsters, including the Two-Headed King Rex, the monster which Ryuuzaki had fed the hubcap to a few months earlier (apparently after knocking said hubcap off his moped and wanting to hide his misdeed from his father). After another few spates of projectile-vomiting, they'd finally given up, mostly at Ryuuzaki's insistence.
Bakura watched as Ryuuzaki alternated between ripping Yuugi and Jounouchi a new one, and petting his under-the-weather monsters like a worried mother. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he felt something stir.
"You know, you're just lucky Kyande isn't here," Ryuuzaki muttered threateningly. "She'd probably break your shins."
"Ah, *now* I see why he didn't want a date with Anzu," Honda whispered conspiratorially to Anzu and Bakura, before blinking. "Hey, Ryuuzaki, are we talking about the same Kyande here? Right name being Uzumaki Yanagiyari, the pink-haired midget terror who goes around dressing like a gypsy and kicking me in the ankles whenever she gets near me? *That* Kyande?? And she's what, your girlfriend now?"
This elicited three different responses from the arguing trio, who all stopped and gaped at him.
"Hey! That 'midget terror' is three inches taller than *me*!!"
"That chick? Geez, Ryuuzaki, I didn't know you went for girls who looked like big-eyed freakin' eight-year-olds. And who bit people. And who are on a constant sugar high."
"First off, Kyande is *not* a midget terror! Second off, she's my friend, and we've been friends since before I can remember, and that's all! And *third* off, she does *not* look like an eight-year-old."
"Heh heh, I suppose midgets will gravitate towards other midgets."
Everyone looked askance at Bakura, who had an uncharacteristic smirk on his lips. The minute he noticed the looks, he put on an innocent face and shrugged.
"What?"
Yuugi became very nervous, and quickly gathered up all of Ryuuzaki's cards. Shoving them into the surprised dinosaur duellist's hands, he signalled to Jounouchi and quickly turned Ryuuzaki around, steering him away from "Bakura" and out the door of the arena.
"Okaywellit'sbeennicebutyougottagonowseeyoulaterRyuuzakithanksforeverythingi fyourdinoseverneedanupgradejustaskmygrandpahe'llhelpyouokaybye!!"
Ryuuzaki didn't have time to protest before Yuugi shoved him outside and slammed the door on his face. The smaller boy then turned to look at Bakura, who was still gazing back innocently.
"Something wrong?"
"Yeah," Honda said flatly, stepping between Bakura and Yuugi. "You. You're not Bakura."
Jounouchi immediately began looking around for things to restrain the pale- haired boy with. Anzu stepped back from him carefully. Yami no Bakura, seeing that he had been discovered, dropped his façade and grinned evilly.
"Oh, don't look so shocked. You knew I'd catch on sooner or later; and Ryou may think he can block me, but I'm not as oblivious as he'd like me to be--"
"You knew all along," Yuugi stated, a sinking feeling in his stomach that certainly wasn't from eating hair gel.
"Well, duh. And now, I think this little game of 'Let's Get Rid Of The Ring' is at an end-"
Without warning, Yami no Bakura dove forwards and knocked a startled Honda's feet out from under him. Jounouchi lunged, but the tomb robber was faster and brought the blond boy down with a punishing blow to his head. As Anzu screamed and rushed forwards, Yami no Bakura turned on Yuugi with an evil gleam in his eye, and began to advance on the frightened young boy.
"-as is your ownership of the Sennen Puzzle."
(1)- mou hitori no boku=my other half, what Yuugi calls Yami no Yuugi in the sub. (2)- bonkutsu na duellist=pathetic or mediocre duellist, yet another little nickname Kaiba has for Jounouchi.
A/N: Bwahahahaaaa! I love cliffhangers. Don't worry, folks, I'll update soon, I promise. Next chapter: Bandit Keith has some Ring pizza, Anzu takes drastic measures, and Yuugi finds out why you shouldn't put 3000-year- old magical artefacts in the school furnace.hee hee. ^-^
By Monoshiri
A/N: My first post on ff.net. Please be nice! Rated PG-13 for swearing, projectile-vomiting, violence, attempted murder by handbag, and mild K/J yaoi references. On with the show! ^-^
Mouto Yuugi paused his sweeping and looked up at the clear blue spring sky with a smile. Despite that his grandfather had chose today, of all days, to tear a strip off him about doing his chores before going to school, it was a still a beautiful Tuesday morning. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and in the distance, he could even hear the faint sound of-
-maniacal cackling?
"Oh, that's it, Bakura!! This time you've really gone too far!!"
Yuugi dropped his broom, eyes going wide. Chores or no chores, he knew those sounds, and what kind of trouble followed them. Leaving the broom unattended in front of the Game Shop, he took off down the street in the direction of the noises.
= = = = = = =
"-and so Shizuka and Anzu are trying to figure out what to do with this hurt sparrow, right? I mean, Shizuka-chan thinks we should put it in a box and take it back home and feed it, and Anzu keeps saying we've gotta take it to an animal shelter and see what they can do to help it, and Honda and me, we're sort of with Anzu on that 'cause it looked like a cat had mauled it, and then-"
Jounouchi Katsuya trailed off and cast a look of loathing in the direction of the Game Shop bathroom, where Ryou Bakura-or someone who wanted people to *think* he was Ryou Bakura-was imprisoned, the water closet door jammed shut by one of the Mouto family's dining room chairs. For extra assurance, Honda Hiroto was sitting in that chair, and he mirrored Jounouchi's disgusted face.
The rest of the teenagers were sitting around Yuugi's living room, as was per custom, with Jounouchi keeping a watchful eye on the bathroom door. He and Anzu Mazaki were sitting on the couch with a weeping Shizuka between them; as Yuugi looked on in concern from his armchair, Jounouchi's little sister alternated between crying into her brother's shirt and clutching distraughtly at Anzu's sleeve. Jounouchi managed to compose himself again, and continued his narrative after a moment.
"So anyway, all of a sudden, Bakura, or *whatever* that guy is, grabs the bird away from Shizuka, and starts *eating* it right in front of us! And I mean, eating it alive, like biting the thing's head off!! The girls just started screaming, and Honda and me grabbed him and made him spit it out, but it was too late, so then he tries to bite *me* for good measure."
"That's awful," Yuugi gasped, looking over at the bathroom apprehensively.
"I'll say," Anzu snapped suddenly as Shizuka's sobbing died down to whimpers. "You know, Yuugi-kun, I've about had it with this-person-who lives in Bakura's Ring. Your other half is one thing, but the guy in the Ring is just beyond horrible! He's so nasty, but he's sneaky too.we can never tell any more when it's our friend Ryou, or when it's Yami no Bakura standing right next to us! And the things he does, always trying to steal your Puzzle when you're not looking-"
A pounding came from the other side of the bathroom door, causing everyone to jump. Honda hopped off the chair and braced his hands against the door as Jounouchi got to his feet, ready to help.
"Hey, guys?" Came a muffled voice from the other side of the door. "Guys? I think he's gone. Can I come out now, please? Yuugi-kun? Honda- kun?"
Honda breathed a sigh of relief and looked over at Jounouchi and Yuugi. "Should I let him out?"
"Yeah, guess we'd better explain why we locked him in there, huh?" Jounouchi mumbled with a sheepish grin. Yuugi had a nagging feeling about the situation, but it was too late for him to act because Honda had already removed the chair and opened the door. Bakura came stumbling out, looking dazed.
"Feeling better, Bakura-kun?" Anzu asked.
Bakura nodded, then wobbled over to Yuugi and presented him with something. "Hey, um, is this your grandpa's? You shouldn't leave stuff like this on the floor, you know."
As Yuugi took what appeared to be his grandpa's electric nose-hair- remover with a look of distaste on his face, he failed to see Bakura's features sharpen. He also failed to see the maniacal grin which split his friend's face, and the way Bakura's hand began to drift almost lazily towards the Sennen Puzzle.
Fortunately for both Yuugi and the Puzzle's inhabitant, Anzu *did* see those things, and let out an ear-splitting shriek in Honda and Jounouchi's direction. The two bigger boys (probably discerning that the pitch of the scream indicated "Psycho Alert") immediately threw themselves at Yami no Bakura and pinned the tomb robber to the floor with their combined weight.
Yuugi drew a shaky breath as he watched Yami no Bakura staring up at him hate-filled eyes from beneath the dog pile that was Honda and Jounouchi, both of whom looked rather pleased with themselves (although Honda looked a little squashed).
Shizuka pulled her fingers out of her ears and glowered at Anzu. "Has anyone ever told you that you sound like an air raid siren when you scream?"
Anzu grinned. "Oh, lots of people, starting with your brother. Then again, I *was* about to get raped the last time I sounded like that. I reserve my lungs for urgent situations."
"Well, congrat-u-fucking-lations." Yami no Bakura hissed furiously, having dropped all pretence of being his gentler half. "Now you've not only managed to crush most of my-or rather my host's-internal organs, but you've half-deafened him as well."
"Aww," Honda said in a mock-sympathetic voice, as he dug his knee into the small of the tomb robber's back, "the world's smallest violin is playing for you."
"Yeah, get over it." Jounouchi put in. "It's *you* we're putting the screws on, not Ryou, so don't think that 'you're only hurting my host' garbage will get you a break."
Yami no Bakura snarled one last time at Yuugi, and then evaporated as the Ring began to glow with a sullen light. In his place was a very confused (and very squished), but unmistakeably non-Yami, Ryou Bakura.
"Uhh-can you-please-get-off? Lungs-hurting-"
Honda and Jounouchi scrambled off the smaller boy hastily, then yanked him to his feet and dusted him off.
"Feeling okay, Bakura?" Yuugi asked, remembering the pile-driver the white-haired boy had suffered while possessed.
Bakura, still looking rather muzzy, as one waking up from a deep sleep, shrugged. "Er, fine, I guess, although I'd like to know how-"
His voice trailed off as his thought process cleared. "Oh."
"Yes. 'Oh' is the right word."
"What did he-I-do this time?"
Yuugi looked at Anzu. Anzu looked at Yuugi. Honda looked at the ceiling. And Jounouchi looked sternly at Shizuka, who had been about to pipe up indignantly about the sparrow-eating incident. No one said anything.
"It was bad, wasn't it." Bakura's tone indicated statement, not question.
"It could have been worse," Yuugi tried to reassure him. The white haired boy shook his head, his large brown eyes full of sadness.
"I'm sorry, guys, I really am, but I don't think I'm safe to be around. I never have been, since I got the Ring. I should probably just stay away from everybody."
"NO!"
Everyone looked over at Anzu, who had positively exploded at that. Eyes ablaze, she stood up on the couch and glared down at the startled Bakura like the Goddess of Judgement come to call.
"How can you say such a thing?? It's not right!! You can't just give in and let *him* deny you a normal life, with family and friends and, and, and other people!! You can't roll over and let him wreck your very *being*!! Bakura, we can help you *fight this*!!"
Bakura blinked. "Um, how?"
Anzu opened her mouth to say something compelling, then blinked and sat back down on the couch again.
"I don't know."
Bakura sweatdropped and looked over at Yuugi, depressed. Yuugi, however, had his chin in his hand, and appeared to be thinking deeply.
"Well, for starters, if he lives in the Ring, you should throw the Ring away," Shizuka pointed out reasonably.
"Honda tried that already during Duellist Kingdom, and it didn't work." Jounouchi told her.
"Well, how'd he try to get rid of it?"
"Pitched it into the woods from Pegasus' castle, or so I'm told."
"Hmm, just threw it away?" Shizuka seemed to be getting the phantom of a light-bulb over her head. Honda noticed this and nodded.
"Yeah, just threw it. It was all I could think of at the time, getting the Ring as far away from us as possible. I never thought it'd come *back* somehow."
Anzu looked at Yuugi, who had by this point completely zoned out, indicating that he was conversing with Yami no Yuugi mentally. Shizuka's light-bulb was becoming less phantom-like, and by now Jounouchi had noticed it too.
"So maybe we didn't try to get it far enough away-" Shizuka mumbled softly.
The light-bulb suddenly blinked to life.
"Guys, we should try to destroy the Ring. Like, permanently."
"Hmm, not a bad idea." Jounouchi beamed proudly at his sister. "She really *did* get all the brains of the family."
"Not to mention the good looks," Honda teased, causing Jounouchi and Shizuka to flick sofa cushions at him amicably. Bakura stared, realization dawning on him.
"Are you sure that's a good idea?"
"No," Anzu said, causing Honda to turn and stare at her. "However, it's the best course of action we can take at the moment. Yuugi, what do you think?"
Yuugi came back to reality with a bump, looking almost as muzzy as Bakura had been a little while ago. "Uh? Oh, yeah, right, destroy the Ring. Well, mou hitori no boku (1) can't remember anyone trying to destroy a Sennen Item before, so he's not sure about the success rate, but it might be worth a try. On the other hand," Yuugi continued, looking puzzled (a/n: no pun intended), "he seems to have misgivings about destroying a Sennen Item. But he also thinks that getting Bakura's other half away from Bakura is a good idea."
"Well, if he's worried about the 'destroying' part," Anzu said over Jounouchi's protests, "maybe we should work on extending Honda's thing, that is to say, get the Ring as far away from Bakura as we can. If that doesn't work, *then* we'll start with the sledgehammers and whatnot."
"Sounds reasonable. Everyone in agreement?"
There were nods from everyone in the room. Yuugi looked over at Bakura in concern. "Hey, before we go on with this--is your other half--?"
"Listening in?" Bakura screwed up his face a moment, then relaxed and sighed. "No, he's locked himself in his soul room and he's sulking. I can cut him off from what I'm doing when he's not trying to take control, you know, and I think you scared him pretty badly this time. He won't get up the nerve to try again for at least a few days."
"Good. In that case, where should we start?"
"How about air-mailing the Ring to Peru?" Jounouchi suggested.
"Naah, too close. How about Antarctica?"
"Aw, Honda, they don't have post offices in Antarctica. How about Nairobi?"
"Good one, Anzu, like they don't have enough problems there. Maybe Texas?"
"Yeah, Texas!" Yuugi enthused.
"Planning a trip somewhere?" Ayame Mouto asked with a smile as she set down a bowl of rice crackers on the living room table. The teenagers jumped and looked at her guiltily.
"Uh, no, not really, Mom." Yuugi mumbled, blushing. He knew his mother knew about the Puzzle, but he didn't want to have to explain about the Ring to her as well: better she assume he was the only item holder than have her find out about the -interesting-mental states of the other item holders and freak out. Not that he'd seen his mom freak out, in fact she was usually pretty laid-back about things; still, better she not know about Yami no Bakura.
"Oh, that reminds me, Yuugi," Mrs. Mouto murmured, forestalling the Yuugi-tachi's attempts to come up with a plausible excuse for their "geography game". "You got a postcard from Domino City harbour from someone named Ryouta Kajiki. It just came in today."
Yuugi took the proffered postcard with a nod of thanks and scanned it briefly, more for show than out of real interest. Suddenly, and much to the astonishment of all present, his eyes lit up, and he quickly flipped it over and looked at the date.
"Yesterday! He came in with a fishing crew yesterday! Thanks, Mom, this is great!!"
Anzu, Bakura, Jounouchi, Shizuka, and Honda all looked at each other as understanding dawned on them. Yuugi winked at Bakura.
"I don't think we'll have to send it to Texas after all, assuming Ryouta's willing to help us out. Come on, you guys, we still have three hours to get to the harbour before it closes!"
"Okay," Anzu muttered as the group set out from the Game Shop, leaving behind a very confused Ayame Mouto, "but we don't get his help by offering him a bath with me."
PART TWO
"So let me get this straight: you guys want me to take this Ring thingy out to the Japan Trench, tie it to some rocks, and throw it overboard?" Kajiki Ryouta asked, confusion written on his sun-browned features.
Yuugi, Jounouchi, Honda, Anzu, Shizuka, and Bakura all nodded in unison, silently thanking that fates that they'd made the harbour just as the gates were about to be locked. After a short reunion (and a great deal of noogying of Yuugi on Kajiki's behalf, much to Jounouchi's annoyance), the younger teenagers finally settled down and explained the reason for their visit to the fisherman-turned-duellist.
Kajiki blinked. "You sure about that? It looks pretty valuable to me."
"Trust me, it's much more valuable that this thing be *away* from the rest of civilization." Bakura said darkly, accompanied by furious nodding from Shizuka, who still hadn't forgotten the incident with the sparrow.
Kajiki sighed and took the Ring into his hands, turning it over repeatedly and testing its weight. Then he grinned and tossed it deftly into the air, catching it behind his back.
"Well, alright, I'll do it!"
"Thanks so much, Ryouta!" Yuugi exclaimed happily.
"On one condition."
Everyone sweatdropped. "I *knew* this would happen," Anzu muttered to Honda, who nodded. Yuugi sighed.
"Name your price."
"Assuming, of course, that price doesn't involve my sister," Jounouchi added sternly, putting a protective arm around Shizuka.
Kajiki snorted. "What do you think I am, some kind of cradle-robber??" He paused, and an evil grin formed on his lips. "Now, Mazaki, on the other hand-"
"SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!!"
"OW! OW! OW! OW! Okay, please, for the love of all the gods of the ocean, lay off, will ya??! I was only kidding!! Geez, you're deadly with a handbag, hon."
Rubbing the lumps on his head, Kajiki looked askance at the still-fuming Anzu before turning back to Yuugi. "Anyways, what I'd like is-"
He paused, looking almost embarrassed, then bent down and whispered something in Yuugi's ear. The smaller boy's eyes went wide, and then he perked up and smiled at the young fisherman.
"Oh, is that all? No problem. Consider it done!"
"Great! In that case, I'll see you kids in three days! Later, handbag girl!" Kajiki flashed the younger teens the thumbs-up, then stuffed the Sennen Ring in his vest pocket and started off down the docks, before pausing and turning back. "Hey, are you guys sure you want it weighted down? If I just set it free-floating, maybe rub some fish guts on it, a shark might come along and eat it!"
"No, no thanks, Ryouta!" Bakura called out after the other boy. "Just do what we asked, okay?"
Kajiki shrugged, grinned again, then sauntered off down the pier until he was lost to their sight. Bakura sighed happily.
"Well, that's that then, or so I hope."
As the little group trekked back towards Domino City, Jounouchi paused and looked over at Yuugi, his eyes worried. "Hey, um, if you don't mind my asking.you didn't, like, promise to do anything, you know, *weird* for Ryouta, did you?"
"Weird?" Yuugi echoed blankly. Then, "Oh, goodness, no, not at all! I never would have agreed to that any more than Anzu would have, and anyway, Ryouta's about as straight as they come."
"But you didn't, like, promise him one of your cards or something?" Honda asked, equally concerned.
"Again, no."
"Well, what was it, then?" Shizuka demanded, growing impatient.
Yuugi chuckled a little. "Uh, guys, anyone feel like coming with Ryouta and me to a good karaoke bar on Friday night?"
Everyone stopped and gaped, slack-jawed, at Yuugi, who just smiled in return. After a moment of silence, the pier filled with the sound of laughter.
= = = = = = = = =
However, no one was laughing the next day at school, when Yuugi, Anzu, Honda, and Jounouchi arrived in their classroom to find Bakura sitting at his desk despondently, holding none other than the Sennen Ring in his hands.
"Bakura?" Yuugi choked out.
Bakura sighed miserably. "I woke up this morning and found it on my dresser."
"Shit and pickles," Honda moaned, slumping down into his seat. "There's just no getting rid of the thing!"
"Well, obviously the 'taking it far away' bit doesn't work." Anzu mused as the boys took their seats as well. "Maybe now we should try and destroy it."
"How?"
Jounouchi put his head in his hands and muttered to himself for a little while, then abruptly sat up and looked at the others. "Hey guys, remember what Ryouta said about sharks eating it?"
Anzu blanched and shook her head furiously. "Uh-uh, Jounouchi, I know what you're thinking, and no way!"
"Well, not *literally*, but I think he was on the right track. Instead of a shark's stomach, we could try sending it someplace more permanent; like, say, the Shadow Realm."
"Oh?" Bakura said, unimpressed. "And how will we get it there?"
"Simple," Jounouchi said with a smile. "You ever seen a Blue Eyes White Dragon with its safety off?"
Yuugi slapped his palm to his forehead. "Of course! I see where you're going with this, Jounouchi!"
"So, I'm guessing that we cut next class, right?" Honda asked hopefully.
"Yep, to pay a little trip to KaibaCorp."
= = = = = = = =
"Are you sure my big brother will be okay with this?"
"Well, look at it this way, Mokuba: if he's mad at anyone, it'll be us, not you."
Mokuba Kaiba still looked unconvinced, but he led the group down the winding hallways of KaibaCorp anyhow. "I guess it's alright, as long as you don't mess up his Blue Eyes or anything. 'Cause if you did," the dark- haired boy added, turning suddenly on Yuugi and trying (unsuccessfully) to look ferocious, "it'd be *me* you'd have to answer to!!"
"I'm quaking in my skivvies," Honda muttered to Jounouchi, who prodded him in the ribs sharply.
"Hey, shut up. The kid's just trying to be tough like his big brother."
"Oh, yeah, that's right, your crush!" Honda teased in a low voice, no real malice behind his words. He'd known Jounouchi long enough that the blond's emotions were an open book to him; he and the rest of the Yuugi-tachi were well aware of Jounouchi's rather conflicting feelings towards Seto Kaiba, the handsome, haughty young businessman with eyes like ice who had faced off against both Jounouchi and Yuugi on more than one occasion. Now, however, the little group was interested in something else with blue eyes.
"Here's the simulation room; and *I'll* install my brother's deck into the holo-imager." Mokuba added sternly before going into the massive steel hall's control room and poking away at the buttons therein. A gigantic, blue form materialized before the astonished teens, as Mokuba poked his head out of the control room.
"Do you want me to shut the safety off now?"
"Yes, please," Yuugi called, sounding braver than he felt. It was bad enough facing a harmless BEWD, but one with its safety features off-
"There you go! It's off!"
Yuugi sighed and took the Ring from Bakura, nerving himself, then walked up to the huge beast as it hovered aimlessly in the middle of the room, looking almost bewildered, if a dragon can look bewildered. Yuugi approached its tooth-filled face cautiously as the others looked on, then reached up and bumped the Ring against its nose.
"Here, boy," he whispered softly to it, feeling ridiculous. There was no way that this would work. He didn't know how this thing interacted with people even with the safety off--was it even a 'boy'? "I have a nice, tasty treat right here for you-"
The BEWD looked down at Yuugi, its astonishment obvious. Then, suddenly, a look of delight settled on the dragon's reptilian features, and it bent its head down to nibble lazily on the points of Yuugi's hair.
"AAAAUUUGGGHHHH!!"
It was too much for the boy; he fled back to the outside of the holo-field in terror, while the BEWD, looking vexed, plunked itself down on it's huge scaled behind and began-was it really?-sulking. Anzu, after comforting the stunned Yuugi, lightly touched the points of his hair.
"Um, guys? It, uh, left *drool* on his hair spikes-"
"Oh, I knew this was a bad idea!" Bakura lamented, as Mokuba, his misgivings forgotten, looked over at the BEWD in delight.
"Hey, I'm *glad* you did that! Big brother's gonna fall over when I tell him that it actually *interacts* with the safety off-"
"Yeah, but that doesn't get us rid of the Ring," Jounouchi reminded him. Biting his lower lip, the blond pondered for a moment, then snatched the Ring from the startled Yuugi and walked out swiftly to where the Blue Eyes was sitting, to the disconcertion of his friends.
"Hey, Jounouchi, wait a minute!"
"Are you sure that's a good idea? I mean, it *breathed* on me!!"
"Come back, man! I don't want my best friend to end up as dragon chow!!
Jounouchi ignored their shouts and carried on until he was looking the Blue Eyes straight in the face. The huge monster gazed back at him with the kind of flinty, knowing amusement that reminded Jounouchi of its master; however, there was no time for that now. Steeling himself, he placed the Ring on his upturned, flat palm, and held it carefully beneath the BEWD's nose, as he'd been taught to do when feeding horses.
As Anzu, Yuugi, Bakura, and Honda watched with bated breath, and as Jounouchi squeezed his eyes shut and prayed that the thing wouldn't munch his arm off, the Blue Eyes, with an almost delicate motion, nipped the Ring from Jounouchi's hand, chewed on it thoughtfully for a minute or two, and then gulped it down and burped happily.
Yuugi and Honda darted out and dragged the stunned Jounouchi away from the monster before it decided to take seconds out of his arm. Mokuba smiled at the startled group.
"Hey, neat, it worked! I can't wait to tell my big brother about this-- he'll be so excited!"
"What have you *done*??!!"
Yuugi's head jerked up, and everyone turned to find Seto Kaiba standing in the simulation room doorway, looking considerably less than excited. 'Livid' was probably the best way to describe the young billionaire's expression, although livid for Kaiba was so controlled that all it amounted to was an increase in the frigidness in his eyes and a certain tightening around his jaw. Still, it was enough to make Bakura hide behind Anzu and quake, and Honda step in front of Yuugi and Jounouchi to shield them from the other boy's wrath. Mokuba flinched and coughed.
"Hi, big brother."
"Mokuba, what the Hell is going on here?" Seto demanded harshly, looking from Jounouchi and Yuugi to the recalcitrant Blue Eyes and back again. Anzu gulped.
"Uh, well, really, Kaiba, it wasn't Mokuba's fault--Bakura," she said, shoving the white-haired boy in front of her, "explain it to him!"
After a moment or two of blushing and fidgeting, Bakura managed to stutter out the whole story. Seto listened, and remained unimpressed.
"That's all very well and good, but I'll be damned," he snapped savagely, "if I want any of you involving my cards in your stupid little attempts to get rid of a hunk of metal! *Especially* my Blue Eyes White Dragon! And I can't believe that you tried to manoeuvre around me using my little brother, Yuugi," Seto continued venomously, causing Yuugi to flinch with guilt. Jounouchi began to get annoyed.
"Hey, now wait just a second! Don't go pinning this all on Yuugi-"
"And I'll be *double-damned*, bonkutsu na duellist (2), if I want *you* within ten miles of my prized Blue Eyes!" Seto snarled, rounding on Jounouchi, who bristled.
Mokuba and Yuugi glanced at each other helplessly. Once Seto (especially when he'd had a bad day at the office, which he obviously had) and Jounouchi got going at each other, there was no stopping them.
"Pull your head out of your ass and look at your Dragon for a second, Kaiba- does it look like I hurt it any when I fed the Ring to it? No!"
Kaiba was about to make a biting reply, when a strange noise caused everyone to forget the quarrel and turn to the BEWD.
The massive monster seemed to be in some sort of discomfort; it was twitching and lashing about, soft hissing sounds coming from between its teeth. As the astonished teenagers (and one preteen) looked on, the mighty Blue Eyes White Dragon abruptly threw its head back, horked hideously, and puked a small, drool-covered object across the room, to land at Bakura's feet.
For perhaps the first time in his life, Seto was speechless. He could only stare as his noble Dragon horked up a few more spitballs, then curled up sullenly in a corner of the holo-field and cast Yuugi and Jounouchi a reproachful look, as if to say, "you really should have known better".
Mokuba tugged slightly at the back of his brother's duster. "Um, Seto? Maybe we should give the Blue Eyes some tummy medicine--"
= = = = = =
"Geez, Kaiba was grouchy about that," Jounouchi commented as they walked down the street away from KaibaCorp. "Huh, it's not our fault the Blue Eyes isn't picky about its food."
"Maybe we should try feeding it to a monster with a stronger stomach," Yuugi thought out loud.
Honda paused in mid-step, then poked Jounouchi. "Hey, are you thinking--"
"Not my Red Eyes Black Dragon," Jounouchi snapped. "No way."
"No, but I'm thinking maybe," Honda trailed off and looked into the middle distance. "Maybe the guy you *got* it from--"
Anzu suddenly caught on, and a huge grin formed on her face. "I *did* see Ryuuzaki feeding his Tyrannosaurus a hubcap once--"
Yuugi rolled his eyes. "That's Ryuuzaki alright. My grandpa would have a conniption fit if he saw him pull that stunt. Alright, Ryuuzaki it is, then. I just hope we can find him."
"This also means you may have to re-think the bath thing, Anzu," Honda added cheerfully as they headed towards a subway. Anzu made a face and smacked him with her handbag again as Bakura shook his head, but after a moment she softened a bit.
"Wellllll, it *is* for a good cause, getting Bakura Yami-free and all."
"Translation being, she'll promise him anything, but she won't deliver." Jounouchi whispered to Honda and Yuugi as they started down the station stairs. "Lesson #1 from Professor Kujaku."
= = = = = = =
PART THREE
"You know, I've known for a while that you weren't exactly 'all there', Jounouchi, but I didn't know you were completely off your rocker!"
"Look, Ryuuzaki, it's just a simple request! It's not like I'm asking you to give up your Serpent Night Dragon for good or anything."
"Let me revise that last part: you're completely off your rocker and falling down the porch steps!! Do you honestly think that I'm going to hand over my favourite cards to *you*, the guy who took my Red Eyes Black Dragon, and then let you waltz off with them?? Huh? Do you?!"
Yuugi and Anzu looked at each other and sighed unhappily. This had been going on for the last half an hour, ever since Jounouchi had spotted Ryuuzaki coming out of the Arcade, ran up to him, and cheerfully asked outright if they could borrow a few of his tougher cards, namely his prized Serpent Night Dragon and his Two-Headed King Rex. Ryuuzaki had stared at Jounouchi for a while, then laughed and told him exactly where he could stick his brass nerve.
Jounouchi hadn't taken kindly to that sort of lip from a guy who was a year younger and six inches shorter than he was, and probably would have socked Ryuuzaki had Honda not grabbed him and tried to drag him away, telling him it was useless. As it was, Jounouchi managed to escape his friend's grip, and much to everyone's chagrin started trying to threaten/bargain down/convince Ryuuzaki to let the Yuugi-tachi take the cards over to the main Kaiba Land arena. Ryuuzaki hadn't bought into it, especially when Jounouchi tried to explain about feeding the Ring to the monsters (the reason given being that it was bringing Bakura bad luck).
Now, the rest of the group had been sitting on the steps near the beachfront, listening to Ryuuzaki and Jounouchi lob insults back and forth at each other, until they were stiff and bored. Bakura had, in fact, fallen asleep on Honda's shoulder and was snoring a bit: Honda himself looked none too pleased with this, but put up with it patiently and only shot Anzu a token Evil Glare when she poked Yuugi, pointed at the duo, and whispered "'Waii!" in tones of unmistakeable delight. Yuugi wondered briefly if he could get away with pretending to fall asleep on Anzu's shoulder, then decided against it. He wouldn't put it past his best female friend to casually move so that he slipped and his skull cracked on the concrete steps.
"I can't believe you're still grudging 'cause I took your Red Eyes. I mean, get over it! Plus, how many times do I have to tell you that I'm not Haga Insector?"
"Yeah-fuckin'-right!! I wasn't born yesterday, Jounouchi."
"Well, you're *acting* like you were! Look, this has nothing to do with duelling: we just wanna help Bakura get rid of that Ring thing!"
Ryuuzaki snorted and started to turn away.
"Hey, look, maybe if Mazaki here promised to go out on a date with you-??" Jounouchi called after him in last-ditch desperation.
Unfortunately, Anzu heard him, and was on him like a raging demon in an instant. "If I WHAAAAT??! ANSWER ME, JOUNOUCHI KATSUYA, IF I *WHAT*???!!!!!!!"
Yuugi sweatdropped and shouted to Honda, who deposited the sleeping Bakura on the steps and ran to help his smaller friend pry Anzu off Jounouchi, who was in danger of being strangled with her purse-strap. Ryuuzaki laughed so hard he fell over, to sit choking and snickering on the ground.
"Anzu, Anzu, *please* get off him! I'm serious, you're gonna kill him if you keep it up!"
"I'm sure he didn't mean it like that at all!!"
"Oh, the *HELL* he didn't, Honda!!"
"Aww, geez, you guys, cut it out," Ryuuzaki managed to gasp between chuckles. "Anyway, heh, I don't date brunettes."
Anzu stopped in mid-homicide and rounded on Ryuuzaki, utter astonishment written on her face. "You what? Wait a minute--you're seriously *that* shallow?"
"I thought you didn't *wanna* date him," Yuugi protested as he and Honda supported the half-strangled Jounouchi, who was massaging his throat and glaring daggers at Anzu.
"Well, I don't, but turning a girl down for her hair colour? That's just revoltingly lookist--"
"Actually, that's guy-talk for 'I'm already involved with someone'," Honda mumbled to Yuugi, who nodded. Ryuuzaki just shrugged.
"Hey, I prefer redheads."
"And blondes," Jounouchi muttered savagely, remembering Mai. "What's the matter with you that you don't wanna date Anzu?? Are you *gay* or what?"
Ryuuzaki developed a wicked smirk. "Well, look at the pot calling the kettle black."
"What's *that* supposed to mean?" Jounouchi snapped at him.
"Oh, nothing, nothing at all--*coughSetoKaibacough*!"
Jounouchi turned an interesting shade of red, as the rest of the Yuugi- tachi stared at Ryuuzaki. "Huh??"
"I just said, nothing. Now come on, dork, or I might change my mind."
"So you'll help us after all?" Yuugi prompted, a smile lighting up his face.
"Yeah, I guess; I haven't laughed that hard since Haga stole two dozen centipedes from his dad's science lab and set 'em loose in the girl's locker room last year. But if you're using my Dragon and my King Rex, I want to be there to keep an eye on them."
Honda went over and poked Bakura into wakefulness, then looked over at Jounouchi and Yuugi. "Hey, that was Haga?!"
"I guess," Yuugi said with an unbidden grin. "Boy, it was completely hysterical."
"Hmm? What was?" Bakura asked as the group followed Ryuuzaki.
"Oh, you missed it, it happened last year," Jounouchi regaled him with a laugh. "Too bad for you, though: some guy let a bunch of gross bugs loose in the junior girls' change room just after their basketball practice ended, so most of them ran screaming out into the hallway in their underwear just as the boy's class was going by. It was so--"
"Ahem--who did Ryuuzaki say did that again?"
Bakura was the only one of the boys who didn't blanch and start running at the look on Anzu's face, nor did he need special powers to tell him why she looked so mad.
"You were in that class that day, weren't you?"
"Bang on. I was one of the first to bolt, actually: I can't stand bugs."
"Oh, dear," Bakura murmured, looking apprehensive.
"It's not that bad. They didn't tell you about the time, a few months later, when someone turned the power off in the boys' changeroom, and since the switch didn't work, three of them came out in their towels to use the outside one."
Bakura blinked, then smiled to himself. "Devious. I assume I know the unlucky three?"
Anzu's answering smile told him all. "It was actually one of the funnier things Miho and I did; it was Lao Deng's idea."
"Sounds like something my Yami would do," Bakura half-smiled. Then he frowned and tapped his forehead. "By the way, there's no change so far; he's still sulking in his soul room. But it won't be long before he starts getting restless, and then I don't think I'll be able to hide what we're doing from him."
Anzu nodded, and the two of them increased their pace to catch up with the others.
= = = = = = =
Two hours later, in the main Kaiba Land arena, five very sick dinosaurs were hovering around the playing field in various stages of an upset stomach, and one very angry Dinosaur was berating Yuugi furiously.
"I *told* you we should have stopped after my Serpent Night Dragon ralphed that thing up!!"
"Well, I wanted to try feeding the Ring to lower-level monsters. I thought maybe the high-powered cards had more fragile digestive systems!" Yuugi protested.
For a while, they'd tried feeding the Ring straight out to the Dragon, but it turned up its nose at the Item every time in disgust. Finally, Bakura had a brainstorm, and Yuugi had first rubbed the Ring in his hair (to Ryuuzaki's consternation), then offered the delicacy to the Dragon, which had scarfed it down with aplomb. Unfortunately, no sooner had the Yuugi- tachi started celebrating when the Serpent Night Dragon began to make odd noises, and soon they were stuck with a spit-covered Ring again.
Undeterred, Yuugi had insisted on trying the experiment with four other dino-monsters, including the Two-Headed King Rex, the monster which Ryuuzaki had fed the hubcap to a few months earlier (apparently after knocking said hubcap off his moped and wanting to hide his misdeed from his father). After another few spates of projectile-vomiting, they'd finally given up, mostly at Ryuuzaki's insistence.
Bakura watched as Ryuuzaki alternated between ripping Yuugi and Jounouchi a new one, and petting his under-the-weather monsters like a worried mother. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he felt something stir.
"You know, you're just lucky Kyande isn't here," Ryuuzaki muttered threateningly. "She'd probably break your shins."
"Ah, *now* I see why he didn't want a date with Anzu," Honda whispered conspiratorially to Anzu and Bakura, before blinking. "Hey, Ryuuzaki, are we talking about the same Kyande here? Right name being Uzumaki Yanagiyari, the pink-haired midget terror who goes around dressing like a gypsy and kicking me in the ankles whenever she gets near me? *That* Kyande?? And she's what, your girlfriend now?"
This elicited three different responses from the arguing trio, who all stopped and gaped at him.
"Hey! That 'midget terror' is three inches taller than *me*!!"
"That chick? Geez, Ryuuzaki, I didn't know you went for girls who looked like big-eyed freakin' eight-year-olds. And who bit people. And who are on a constant sugar high."
"First off, Kyande is *not* a midget terror! Second off, she's my friend, and we've been friends since before I can remember, and that's all! And *third* off, she does *not* look like an eight-year-old."
"Heh heh, I suppose midgets will gravitate towards other midgets."
Everyone looked askance at Bakura, who had an uncharacteristic smirk on his lips. The minute he noticed the looks, he put on an innocent face and shrugged.
"What?"
Yuugi became very nervous, and quickly gathered up all of Ryuuzaki's cards. Shoving them into the surprised dinosaur duellist's hands, he signalled to Jounouchi and quickly turned Ryuuzaki around, steering him away from "Bakura" and out the door of the arena.
"Okaywellit'sbeennicebutyougottagonowseeyoulaterRyuuzakithanksforeverythingi fyourdinoseverneedanupgradejustaskmygrandpahe'llhelpyouokaybye!!"
Ryuuzaki didn't have time to protest before Yuugi shoved him outside and slammed the door on his face. The smaller boy then turned to look at Bakura, who was still gazing back innocently.
"Something wrong?"
"Yeah," Honda said flatly, stepping between Bakura and Yuugi. "You. You're not Bakura."
Jounouchi immediately began looking around for things to restrain the pale- haired boy with. Anzu stepped back from him carefully. Yami no Bakura, seeing that he had been discovered, dropped his façade and grinned evilly.
"Oh, don't look so shocked. You knew I'd catch on sooner or later; and Ryou may think he can block me, but I'm not as oblivious as he'd like me to be--"
"You knew all along," Yuugi stated, a sinking feeling in his stomach that certainly wasn't from eating hair gel.
"Well, duh. And now, I think this little game of 'Let's Get Rid Of The Ring' is at an end-"
Without warning, Yami no Bakura dove forwards and knocked a startled Honda's feet out from under him. Jounouchi lunged, but the tomb robber was faster and brought the blond boy down with a punishing blow to his head. As Anzu screamed and rushed forwards, Yami no Bakura turned on Yuugi with an evil gleam in his eye, and began to advance on the frightened young boy.
"-as is your ownership of the Sennen Puzzle."
(1)- mou hitori no boku=my other half, what Yuugi calls Yami no Yuugi in the sub. (2)- bonkutsu na duellist=pathetic or mediocre duellist, yet another little nickname Kaiba has for Jounouchi.
A/N: Bwahahahaaaa! I love cliffhangers. Don't worry, folks, I'll update soon, I promise. Next chapter: Bandit Keith has some Ring pizza, Anzu takes drastic measures, and Yuugi finds out why you shouldn't put 3000-year- old magical artefacts in the school furnace.hee hee. ^-^
