...RAAAAHHH! DX
I'VE BEEN WANTING TO WRITE STORY FOR THIS FUCKING FANDOM FOR SO DAMN LONG!
I'VE GOT A STEADY STORY LINE IN MIND, BUT WHENEVER I TRY TO WRITE NOTHING COMES TO MIND! DAMMITDAMMITDAMMITFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFU-
Ugh...whatever, here's a fucking story I wrote a whim -.-
Giggles gave out a groan of irritation. This was soon followed by two, equally irritated groans.
"Of course something like this would happen." Said the tanned pinkette. Her once originally perfect outfit, a pink and white short-sleeved dress that went down to her knees with a dark red bow on the back, was soaked, and her favorite pink sneakers were covered in still wet mud.
They were at the park, having what was previously a fun time, now all hiding under a tree to avoid getting wet.
"I told you we should've brought an umbrella just in case the forcast was correct." Said the blond boy named Cuddles. Just like his other two companions, his outfit, a yellow long-sleeved hoodie and equally yellow jogger pants, were soaked; his pink tennis shoes, changed somewhat so as to look like bunny ears, were also covered in mud.
Now, you all may be wondering why they would simply go to the park without any sort of protection from the rain despite the fact that the forcast said it would. Well, that answer is quite simple.
Lumpy works as the weatherman. And Lumpy, while hardworking(if rather dishonest and greedy), was very...stupid.
No. Stupid's not the right word. Unfortanately, that word will have to due, as the word that would describe him perfectly is...eh...no longer "politically correct". Which is something this woefully underpaid narrator will never get, as it really does sum everything up.
Getting back to the reta- I mean, stupid man named Lumpy. Nobody was really sure how somebody as idiotic as him got the job as a weatherman. Some thought perhaps he was sleeping with the producer. Others thought he was just attractive(words like "HAWT" come to mind), to the point that even a lack of actual weather reporting skill didn't matter. Still, there were various other theorys( the more cynical ones think that this was just another way the universe found to torture them), but let's leave those for other places(like internet forums), shall we.
"Shut up Cuddles." Said boy responded by calling her a word that, if actually typed, would immediately give even the most kid friendly tale an M-rating (narrator hint: it was probably cu-)(DON'T YOU TRY TO FUCKING INTERUPT ME!)
...as you can imagine, this set off an argument between the two.
Meanwhile, their third companion, a boy with shaggy purple hair named Toothy, looked at his two arguing friends with boredom and irritation written on his face. After all, why wouldn't he be bored? They were stuck under a tree in the middle of a heavy rain with nothing to do(not even to eat, as their picnic basket got soaked), and they were pretty much playing the Waiting Game untill the rain stopped...or at least lightened up!
The irritation he felt...well that came from being ignored by his friends(...well, friend and boyfriend) while they argued...he was used to being ignored mind you, but it still stung when it happened.
"Hey..." He spoke up, trying to get their attention.
"Oh my God! Will you just shut it! So I didn't bring an umbrella, you could have brought it!"
"You broke it, remember!? Or are you just that dense!?"
"Oh you wanna talk about who's dense now do you!?"
"Guys..." He tried again, raising his voice. His natural voice isn't quiet by any means, but because he was dating the local daredevil and was close friends(because she's closer to Petunia than she is with Cuddles...which says something) with a girl who might as well considered a daredevil...well...like his "big brother" Lifty (DON'T! ASK!)said...he comes off as the "normal", (another word for boring and flat) good, (gullible, naive, and lacking in common sense) quiet boy of the group.
...so yeah...
"Reckless jackass!"
"Oh! This coming from the dumbass who jumped in front of a demolition truck!?"
"Wow you are never gonna let that one go are you!?"
"Well I've never killed someone because of my stunts!"
"That has got to be the biggest load of bull to ever come out of your mouth Cuddles." Is what Toothy thought in response to that statement. He had lost count of how many times joining Cuddles in his stunts had gotten himself and others killed.
"...but then again, I had also lost count of how many times I would have remained alive, or just suffer a less painful death for that matter, if I judged my perdicaments when I get into them the same way I judge them in hindsight...stupid hindsight being easy to judge from..."
He was still looking at the arguing duo before him. He was getting really bored and really irritated now. His first two attempts to get their attention failed. Miserably. He didn't even care about that now though. He just wanted to get them to stop arguing. So, always being one to follow his impulses, he did the first thing they told him to do.
So he pushed them into a mud puddle that happened to be by the tree...and then thought "Wow, Lifty really is rubbing of on me...not sure if that's a bad thing though..."
Neither Cuddles nor Giggles saw it coming. One minute, they were in each other's face, screaming their lungs off; the next, they were both on their face and eating mud. They both sat up almost immediately, shock written their face. After a short pause, they both started sputtering and spitting, as they had mud in their mouths.
Toothy looked at the scene before him, both Cuddles and Giggles covered in mud, eyes clamped shut, noses wrinkled, both of them now wiping their tongues off with their hands...and then the look of pure disgust showing on their face as their hands had also been covered in mud.
Both then heard a snicker, their faces turning to see a red faced Toothy, his hands covering his mouth, trying his best not to laugh at the scene before him.
Alas, the looks they sent him proved to much, as one of his hands moved to point at them, the other one going to clutch his stomache. He threw his head back, hysterical laughter pouring over him.
Fortonately for our purple haired friend, the dou in the mud, rather than getting mad and pulling him in the mud with them also, simply looked at him in shock for a few seconds. After that, they soon found that his laughter was rather contagious, mixed with how silly they found each other to look when covered in mud, both were soon laughing as hard as Toothy.
They all laughed hard. Toothy soon clutching his sides, and Giggles doing the same with Cuddles leaning on her for support. All previous arguments forgotten, and they all laughed as friends.
Now, if this was an ordinary town, and by extension, if these were ordinary people, the story would end here, giving children the horrible and, unfortunately, overused lesson that is: "If you see your friends fighting, use violence to make them stop, because to wrongs apparently make a right."
However, this was not an ordinary town, and these were not ordinary people.
For you see, this was Happy Tree Town, where if something can go wrong, it almost certainly will, almost always leading to violent and painful(if not comical) injury and death. And these people, and once again by extension, everybody else who lives in this town, would always, without exception, somehow come back to life overnight.
So, with this knowledge in mind, what happened next will shock no one.
A bolt of lightning then came from the clouds and struck the tree, turning the one person under, Toothy, into a crisp that probably smelled like burnt bacon(although was almost certainly no where near as tasty...unless you were a cannibal...and if you are, then this woefully underpaid narrator knows where you can find your next meal).
Both Cuddles and Giggles screamed at the sight, but before they could do anything else, the tree then fell, crushing them (and the burnt crisp that used to be Toothy) to death( or SUPER death in the crisp's case.)
So, as you can see, the previously stated lesson is not the true lesson of this story.
The true lesson is in fact: "Trying to give the impression of a smarmy British accent through text is fucking difficult, never pays off, and only makes you look like and insufferable and racist asshole."
I'm sorry? You don't get how the actual story had anything to do with the lesson?
Well ladies and gentlemen, if you don't get, then please go and suck it.
I am done! Now to go on my never ending mission to brutally murder the abomination that is Auto-Correct!
Constructive critisism is welcome.
