Disclaimer: I do not own Hogan's Heroes or profit from writing.
Author's Note: I haven't seen any stories for 17) The Land of the Rising Hun Challenge - 96 Hubbles. So this is my attempt. I hope it's satisfactory.
The boys of Barracks 2 were playing volleyball when Carter noticed a truck entering the gates.
"Hey, wonder who that is."
Newkirk looked to where Carter was pointing. "Must be some new prisoners."
"We're not due for any new ones," said Kinch.
"Oui," agreed LeBeau, "We would know if there are new prisoners coming."
The man hopped out of the truck and everyone gasped.
Kinch turned to LeBeau, "Louis, go get Colonel Hogan."
Lebeau nodded and quickly ran to the barracks.
"What's a Jap doing here?" asked Newkirk.
"Yeah, I thought the Japanese were the German's allies," remarked a puzzled Carter.
"This is rather strange. Let's brew up some coffee, shall we?" Kinch headed for the barracks.
They burst into Colonel Hogan's office.
"Hey, Colonel, you'll never believe it," cried Carter.
"Yeah, sure is a weird one," agreed Newkirk.
Hogan held up his hands. "Hold it, hold it. I've already heard enough from LeBeau. Kinch, turn on the coffee pot."
Kinch plugged in the coffeepot, and they all gathered around to listen.
"Ah, Major Hochstetter, what an honor. I say it's always a good day when the Gestapo comes to visit. Would you care for some refreshment?" Klink began to pour some schnapps.
"No, I would not care for any refreshment and neither would you." The major plucked the schnapps from Klink's hand and set it on the table.
Klink glanced mournfully at the schnapps. "Of course not," he quickly agreed. "But I must say, with all the stress of running a successful stalag..."
Major Hochstetter sighed, "Let's get to the matter on hand, shall we Klink?"
"Yes, Major. Now, what is it you need?"
The major motioned to the prisoner standing next to him. "I need you to hold him here. He has managed to escape from two other camps. We cannot let that happen, of course."
"But I thought the Japanese were our friends."
"Don't be an idiot, Klink. This man is Chinese, not Japanese. You can tell the difference by the face and stature."
Klink peered at the man over his monocle. "He is?"
Hochstetter sighed, "Of course he is. Can't you tell? It doesn't really matter. I just need you to keep him here."
"I would love to be of assistance, but I'm afraid we are very full. Don't have anymore room."
Hogan unplugged the coffeepot. "That won't do. We need to find out what he's here for. This would be my cue to enter." He picked up his crush cap and left. Hogan walked into Klink's outer office. He bent down and kissed Hilda on the neck.
"Is the Kommandant in," he murmured against her skin.
Hilda sighed distractedly, "Yes, he's with Major Hochstetter."
Hogan let her go. "Thanks." He barged into Klink's office. "Sorry to interrupt, Kommandant, but..."
"Then don't, Hogan," Klink snapped.
Hochstetter spotted him. "What is this man doing here, Klink?" he roared.
"Yes, Hogan, what are you doing here?"
Hogan pulled a piece of paper from his pocket. "The men were wondering if we could have a few extra things for our German grammar class." He read from the list, "Notebooks, pencils, a piece of white bread, extra hot water, German newspapers, and shovels."
"Ah, ah, ah, ah. What do you need a shovel for? Are you planning to escape? Let me warn you in advance, Hogan. There has never been a successful escape from Stalag 13."
Hogan snapped his fingers. "You got me there, Kommandant. Should have known I couldn't pull one over the Iron Eagle."
Klink puffed up proudly.
Hogan turned to the Chinese man and held out his hand. "How are you? Make yourself at comfortable. It's not much, but it's what we call home now. Sorry for ignoring you earlier, we had some pressing matters to discuss."
The man smiled. "My name is Lee Jiang."
Hogan looked at Klink. "I thought you and the Japanese were allies. Did they finally realize you're just using them?"
"Hogan, I will not stand your insolence. Of course the Japanese are our allies. This man is Chinese, can't you tell?"
"You couldn't tell either, Klink," snorted Hochstetter. He glance at Hogan. "What is this man doing here? Get him out."
"Yes, Hogan. What are you still doing here?" Klink wondered aloud. "Out!"
Hogan shrugged. "Just being polite, Kommandant. Just because there's a war on, doesn't mean we can't use our manners." He sighed in mock despair and left.
