Mario awoke to the sound of Luigi's snores.
"God, how depressing. I am 25 years old and I still sleep in the same room as my brother. What went wrong with my life; I saved the princess, killed the bad guy, and even played a little golf while I was at it. And yet here I am, sleeping in the same room as my brother and getting positively no action. Maybe it's cause I chose the wrong princess to save, maybe I should have chose Daisy or Zelda. They were nice girls, I mean Zelda had some cross-dressing issues, but who's complaining with a girl that hot. Stupid Link has probably already gotten her by now, although he was never as good at saving the princess as I was. Maybe Peach just isn't the right girl for me, she does have a couple problems. I mean who freaking gets kidnaped all the time, you'd think she would get a bodyguard by now or something. And the whole "save me, save me" routine is getting pretty boring. Also the whole innocense thing is just stupid, she won't even kiss me when I save her. All the biggest action heroes get that at least. Sometimes I just wish that I was James Bond or someone cool."
to be continued
