Obligatory disclaimers: I do not own Tenchi Muyo or any of the characters contained there in. I do not own Batman or any of the characters contained there in. The characters are the intellectual property of their respective creators. No profits are being made from this fanfic and it's sole intention is bring (possible) enjoyment to those who read it.
Look both ways before crossing the street. Don't accept either candy or rides from strangers. And your mileage may vary.
Thank you and please enjoy the story.
Tenchi meets The Joker
By Weirdbard
Chapter 1. Best laid plans of maniacs and men
The Joker cackled softly to himself as he examined his latest, and to his mind the greatest, experiment he had ever attempted. It took him months of planning and daring thefts to obtain the scientific equipment he needed but now his device was finished.
The central part of the machine sat on a raised platform and looked like a huge punching bag clown with a brightly colored lever in it's side. The machine had cables running from under it to smaller normal looking computer control consoles grouped on the floor around it.
"Gee Mr. J what is it?" Harley Quinn asked as she poked at the large machine sitting in the middle of the abandoned Smiley Face Ice Cream Company building.
"Well Harley girl I call it the Jokeathon." Joker said proudly.
"Um, okay but what does it do?" Harley Quinn asked.
"Do? Do? While this device will only bring mirth and laughter into the boring lives of the unwashed masses of Gotham. Well that is until it ends their lives." Joker finished.
"Ooh!" Harley Quinn cooed appreciatively and then said. "Huh?"
"This device puts out sonic waves that affect people's minds Harley. Sort of like my Joker gas but much better. People will start laughing uncontrollably until they can't even breathe. Everyone in the radius of Gotham will die with a huge smile on their face." Joker explained and then started his ominous giggling that soon gave away to his normal psychotic laughter.
Harley Quinn looked nervously at the machine and then up to the ceiling of the building they were in. Hanging from the rafters of the building were thousands and thousands of brightly colored paper streamers. "Is that what the streamers are for? To protect us from the effects of the machine?" She asked with a trace of worry in her voice.
Joker continued to laugh for a moment and then managed to regain control enough to speak. "What? No, those are just here for atmosphere Harley! Nothing will be able to block the effects of my machine. Even Batman, no matter where he is at in Gotham will be able to resist or stop it."
"Um, but Puddin, that means your machine will kill us as well." Harley said with just a touch of panic in her voice.
Joker with his insane smile on his face just nodded his head. "Of course. What better joke can there be?" He said as he reached out to pull down the large brightly colored lever on the machine's side.
"I don't want to die!" Harley screamed with full blown panic this time.
Racing to the Joker's side she tried to stop him from pulling the lever but with just some manic giggling the Joker swatted her away from the central portion of his machine. Harley Quinn flew a short distance through the air to land beside one of the machine's control consoles on the ground level. Reacting in panic she quickly opened a door in its side and started pulling circuit boards from it as quickly as she could to try and stop the machine from working.
Joker stepped back from the central platform as his machine started to wobble in a circular manner and a deep booming mechanical laughter came from it. Soon his greatest accomplishment would be complete. Mainly bringing a grin to that dreary, stoic Batman's face, oh that and killing him of course.
Suddenly the giant mechanical clown's laughter stopped to be replace with a extremely annoying high pitched buzzing noise. The Jokeathon stopped it's rotating as well and ground to a halt with it leaning on it's side. The buzzing noise however didn't stop but increased even more in pitch and volume.
Joker frowning as much as his permanent grin would allow and looked around in confusion. What was wrong with his masterpiece? Finally he spotted Harley Quinn on the floor with the upper part of her body inside one of the control consoles. As he watched another circuit board came flying out from inside the machine to land in a pile of other boards. His Jokeathon behind him added another low level buzz to join with the others already coming from it.
"HARLEY!" He roared as he leapt off the stairs that lead up to the platform where his machine was.
Harley Quinn quickly pulled herself out of the innards of the control panel to face a enraged Joker. "Now Puddin! I can explain." She nervously said as Joker with glittering eyes began to stalk her.
Glancing up at the roof of the building she suddenly screamed over the buzzing noise of the now broken Jokeathon and pointed at the ceiling. "What is that?!"
Joker placing one hand on his hip looked at Harley critically. "Now come on Harley girl! You can do better than that! Like I, of all people am going to fall for the oldest joke in the book!"
"No. I'm serious! What is that?!" Harley said not taking her eyes off the ceiling.
The Joker began to wonder if this wasn't some kind of joke to get him to take his eyes off of her so she could make a run for it the way her eyes were widening if fear made him think otherwise.
Sparing a quick glance upward and preparing to grab her if she made the slightest attempt to run, he looked up and saw a swirling circular cloud of darkness 4 feet above their heads.
"Heh?" Joker had time to mutter before the swirling disk of darkness dropped down and swallowed both him and Harley.
The disk of darkness continued to lie on the floor for a moment until with a loud bang the Joker's Jokeathon blew a fuse. Instantly the disk faded away leaving only a slight blackened mark on the floor.
The resultant reverse power surge continued to flow away from the abandoned building and blew out streetlights and circuit breakers for miles in all directions.
Joker found himself falling down a swirling corridor of clouds and lights. At least he thought he was falling down. Maybe he was falling up? Suddenly the absurdity of that thought caught up with him and closing his eyes he started laughing. Laughter that was immediately cut off when he suddenly slammed face down into the ground.
Not ground like the floor of the abandoned warehouse he had just been in but ground as in soil. Joker managed to think to himself right before Harley landed hard in the middle of his back.
Throwing her off his back Joker quickly scrambled to his feet and immediately made several observations.
1. It was night time at the warehouse he had just been in and now it looked like it was early morning.
2. He was no longer inside, warehouse or anything else. He was now outside.
3. He and Harley appeared to be standing in a open growing field of somethings.
4. He had something stuck in his mouth.
Biting down instinctively, the Joker chewed for a moment before he identified what he was chewing. "Carrots?" He asked out loud in surprise.
Harley Quinn looked around her in shock and reaching out she grasped a carrot by it's leafy green top and pulled it from the ground. "Carrots." She confirmed.
"Where the Sam hill are we?" The Joker growled after spitting out the carrot in his mouth. He hated vegetables. For one thing they were good for you and secondly they always reminded him of Poison Ivy.
Look both ways before crossing the street. Don't accept either candy or rides from strangers. And your mileage may vary.
Thank you and please enjoy the story.
Tenchi meets The Joker
By Weirdbard
Chapter 1. Best laid plans of maniacs and men
The Joker cackled softly to himself as he examined his latest, and to his mind the greatest, experiment he had ever attempted. It took him months of planning and daring thefts to obtain the scientific equipment he needed but now his device was finished.
The central part of the machine sat on a raised platform and looked like a huge punching bag clown with a brightly colored lever in it's side. The machine had cables running from under it to smaller normal looking computer control consoles grouped on the floor around it.
"Gee Mr. J what is it?" Harley Quinn asked as she poked at the large machine sitting in the middle of the abandoned Smiley Face Ice Cream Company building.
"Well Harley girl I call it the Jokeathon." Joker said proudly.
"Um, okay but what does it do?" Harley Quinn asked.
"Do? Do? While this device will only bring mirth and laughter into the boring lives of the unwashed masses of Gotham. Well that is until it ends their lives." Joker finished.
"Ooh!" Harley Quinn cooed appreciatively and then said. "Huh?"
"This device puts out sonic waves that affect people's minds Harley. Sort of like my Joker gas but much better. People will start laughing uncontrollably until they can't even breathe. Everyone in the radius of Gotham will die with a huge smile on their face." Joker explained and then started his ominous giggling that soon gave away to his normal psychotic laughter.
Harley Quinn looked nervously at the machine and then up to the ceiling of the building they were in. Hanging from the rafters of the building were thousands and thousands of brightly colored paper streamers. "Is that what the streamers are for? To protect us from the effects of the machine?" She asked with a trace of worry in her voice.
Joker continued to laugh for a moment and then managed to regain control enough to speak. "What? No, those are just here for atmosphere Harley! Nothing will be able to block the effects of my machine. Even Batman, no matter where he is at in Gotham will be able to resist or stop it."
"Um, but Puddin, that means your machine will kill us as well." Harley said with just a touch of panic in her voice.
Joker with his insane smile on his face just nodded his head. "Of course. What better joke can there be?" He said as he reached out to pull down the large brightly colored lever on the machine's side.
"I don't want to die!" Harley screamed with full blown panic this time.
Racing to the Joker's side she tried to stop him from pulling the lever but with just some manic giggling the Joker swatted her away from the central portion of his machine. Harley Quinn flew a short distance through the air to land beside one of the machine's control consoles on the ground level. Reacting in panic she quickly opened a door in its side and started pulling circuit boards from it as quickly as she could to try and stop the machine from working.
Joker stepped back from the central platform as his machine started to wobble in a circular manner and a deep booming mechanical laughter came from it. Soon his greatest accomplishment would be complete. Mainly bringing a grin to that dreary, stoic Batman's face, oh that and killing him of course.
Suddenly the giant mechanical clown's laughter stopped to be replace with a extremely annoying high pitched buzzing noise. The Jokeathon stopped it's rotating as well and ground to a halt with it leaning on it's side. The buzzing noise however didn't stop but increased even more in pitch and volume.
Joker frowning as much as his permanent grin would allow and looked around in confusion. What was wrong with his masterpiece? Finally he spotted Harley Quinn on the floor with the upper part of her body inside one of the control consoles. As he watched another circuit board came flying out from inside the machine to land in a pile of other boards. His Jokeathon behind him added another low level buzz to join with the others already coming from it.
"HARLEY!" He roared as he leapt off the stairs that lead up to the platform where his machine was.
Harley Quinn quickly pulled herself out of the innards of the control panel to face a enraged Joker. "Now Puddin! I can explain." She nervously said as Joker with glittering eyes began to stalk her.
Glancing up at the roof of the building she suddenly screamed over the buzzing noise of the now broken Jokeathon and pointed at the ceiling. "What is that?!"
Joker placing one hand on his hip looked at Harley critically. "Now come on Harley girl! You can do better than that! Like I, of all people am going to fall for the oldest joke in the book!"
"No. I'm serious! What is that?!" Harley said not taking her eyes off the ceiling.
The Joker began to wonder if this wasn't some kind of joke to get him to take his eyes off of her so she could make a run for it the way her eyes were widening if fear made him think otherwise.
Sparing a quick glance upward and preparing to grab her if she made the slightest attempt to run, he looked up and saw a swirling circular cloud of darkness 4 feet above their heads.
"Heh?" Joker had time to mutter before the swirling disk of darkness dropped down and swallowed both him and Harley.
The disk of darkness continued to lie on the floor for a moment until with a loud bang the Joker's Jokeathon blew a fuse. Instantly the disk faded away leaving only a slight blackened mark on the floor.
The resultant reverse power surge continued to flow away from the abandoned building and blew out streetlights and circuit breakers for miles in all directions.
Joker found himself falling down a swirling corridor of clouds and lights. At least he thought he was falling down. Maybe he was falling up? Suddenly the absurdity of that thought caught up with him and closing his eyes he started laughing. Laughter that was immediately cut off when he suddenly slammed face down into the ground.
Not ground like the floor of the abandoned warehouse he had just been in but ground as in soil. Joker managed to think to himself right before Harley landed hard in the middle of his back.
Throwing her off his back Joker quickly scrambled to his feet and immediately made several observations.
1. It was night time at the warehouse he had just been in and now it looked like it was early morning.
2. He was no longer inside, warehouse or anything else. He was now outside.
3. He and Harley appeared to be standing in a open growing field of somethings.
4. He had something stuck in his mouth.
Biting down instinctively, the Joker chewed for a moment before he identified what he was chewing. "Carrots?" He asked out loud in surprise.
Harley Quinn looked around her in shock and reaching out she grasped a carrot by it's leafy green top and pulled it from the ground. "Carrots." She confirmed.
"Where the Sam hill are we?" The Joker growled after spitting out the carrot in his mouth. He hated vegetables. For one thing they were good for you and secondly they always reminded him of Poison Ivy.
