I'm bored, so I feel like writing a humor about POTC. So sue me. Or just read it. I feel like a drink... maybe some hot chocolate.

Disclaimer:I don't own POTC

Chapter 1

Jack walked into his Captain quarters on the Black Pearl, only to find Will sitting on his bed crying.

"What's wrong man? You're crying like a woman!"

Will looked up at the pirate with tear-filled eyes. "That's because I AM a woman! They've taken away my pride and joy!"

A confused look crossed Jack's face. Then a look of realization dawned him. "Oh GOD NO!!! EEEWWWW!!!"

Will started bawling. "YES! THEY'VE TAKEN AWAY MY SWORD!!!!!!!!"

Jack looked somewhat relieved. "What does that have to do with your being a man?"

Will strated crying even harder, if that was possible. "It's more precious to me than little Jack!"

Jack looked confused once again. "Who's "little Jack"? Do I even want to know?"

Will pointed to his lap. "I named him after you, because you helped me prove I even had him!"

Jack held his hand over his mouth like he was about to puke. "I did not need to know that mate."

Will was positively screaming now.

Jack tried to be reassuring. "I'll get you a new one!"

Will sniffed. "A better one?"

"A better one."

"That one?" said Will pointing to Jack's only true love, besides the Pearl.

"WHat one?" asked JAck. "THat one!?"

Will nodded.

Jack put on a smile. "Aye, that one." then he muttered under his breath, "You have no idea how many times that line has gotten me out of trouble."

WIth no warning whatsoever, Will immediately got off Jack's bed, walked to the gumball machine in the corner, and started to...make love to it.

Jack grabbed his arm and pulled him away from Jack's salvation and glory. "What the hell are you doing man? Have you lost all sense of control?"

Will stared down at him. "I'm lonely. Can I stay with you?" Will looked at Jack with hopeful eyes.

Jack groaned. "You'll be sleeping with the crew then."

Will looked downcasted. "But I'll get lonely."

"But you'll be with the crew!"

"But I won't have nay FRIENDS!!!" Will started to cry once more.

"FINE!" bellowed Jack, causing Will to stop crying.

"You may sleep in my room, but on an extra cot."

Will smiled, then frowned. "But I'll get cold without someone to be near me."

"But-" Jack started to protest, then he saw the lip pop out, threatening to cause that unnatural racket to start again. "You can sleep in my bed. But no funny business. I don't swing that way."

Jack walked up deck and Will settled into his new bed.

Will smiled. "We'll see about that, Captain Jack "Sexy Beast" Sparrow."

Will then began to laugh that evil person laugh.

"Heh heh heh heh heh. Ha ha ha ha ha. Muahahaha. MUAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!!!!"

Then Jack came back pointing his gun at Will.

"YOU TOUCH MY RUM AND YOU DIE YOU BASTARD!"

Then he saw that Will had only settled into the bed. "Well, you heard me." he said, then headed back up deck.

-TBC-

So how'd you all like it so far? I think that this will be getting interesting...