I'd like to thank my beta reader Luke for keeping the last few scenes under control, and helping me out by being such a champ! Thanks Luke!
The lava spa around her was warm and soft, and Ava felt as if she was lying inside a melted marshmallow. Wrathia lounged beside the sauna, puffing her pipe leisurely and twirling one toe in the edge of the lava. Ava looked at her from the corner of her eye and scoffed. She might as well be a sloth demon. Ava rolled onto her belly and leant on the edge of the spa, inspecting the wood grain.
She tried not to look at it. She really did. Eventually, however, her eyes drifted towards to the wilted and withered flowers, their once bright smiles now sad frowns. Feeling guilty for looking at them, Ava sighed. Sinking into the lava she let herself get swallowed up by it, bubbles escaping her lips as the hot liquid warmed her to her magma core. She still felt cold.
The fact that Ava still thought about Maggie's mind embarrassed her. She wanted to forget the whole ordeal and move on. But she had fallen asleep worrying it might happen again seeing as they were sleeping so close to each other. Ava wrapped her arms around her stomach, curling in on herself like the sad little bug she felt she was. Maggie's mind was everything she ever wanted. It was what she had hoped her mind would be like. Ava longed for a haven like Maggie's, but knew she couldn't even glimpse that place again, not until Maggie stopped hating her. Everyday, Ava hoped Maggie would warm to her, that they would rekindle their old friendship. Maggie was still cold.
Ava eventually popped her head above the magma and saw that Wrathia had fallen asleep by the pool, pipe and ashes lying haphazardly on the hardwood floor. Ava slipped out of the lava, shaking globs from her dress as she went for a walk, to get the memories out of her head. Ironic. Ava rubbed her shoulder, her posture closing up as she kept her hand there. She sidestepped around some "photographs" and other objects, her memories. She'd tried to get rid of them before, burn them in magma, tear them, crush them, throw them as far as she could, but it never worked. The memories never went away, and the more she tried to forget them, the more she remembered them. Stopping at a junction to decide where to go, Ava's stopped at a certain photo in the corner, crumpled and faded. She frowned.
"This is new."
Uncrumpling the photo, she inspected it and as she reconnected everything in her head the colour seeped back into the picture. It was of her and Maggie, when they were much younger. It was the two of them, lying in their dorm and laughing. Ava rubbed her finger over the photo, and it felt as if she could touch Maggie's reddened cheeks. But they were cold.
Ava carefully placed the photo on top of a letter block and stood still, watching, as if she was waiting for it to do something. As if waiting to get sucked back into that time and place, to stay happy, oblivious, scarless, ignorant, blissful. Ava waited for Maggie to pop up from behind the block and laugh and say 'Surprise!", and for her to laugh like she always did and wrap her in her arms and say "I forgive you, you're still my friend!". But she didn't. Ava turned away from the photo, pressing her hands to her hot cheeks. Inside, she felt cold.
Finally moving on, she made her way into the more recent section of her mind, filled with smoke and scraps of fabric and metal. Ava stopped and sat down on a cushion Wrathia had left at some point, or maybe it was a memory. It was hard to tell these days. She pulled her knees to her chest and rested her chin on them. Sinking into the cushion she let herself relax, and she drifted off. When she fell asleep in her head, she never had dreams. Memories and messes of memories drifted through her head instead. But she couldn't sleep today. A creaking noise came from a distance away from her and she turned to look, opening her eyes lazily. Maggie stood there in her blue dress, eyes wide and chest heaving. Her heart stopped cold.
The two of them were locked in each others' stares, neither of them moving, neither of them daring to say anything. Finally Maggie let out a hiss.
"Get. Out. Of. My head."
Ava frowned and shakily got to her feet.
"I'm not in your head. You're in mine." She said meekly, stunned and shaking like a rabbit caught in the headlights. Maggie seemed right at place in her mind, her stance was aggressive, and her fists were clenched and ready to harm. Maggie was practically radiating heat, her body pulsing, magma around her pouring from drawers, leeching off of the wrathful energy centered around her. Her eyes were cold.
Maggie's toes curled into the planks and she looked around the room quickly, eyes darting, but never fully turning away from Ava. She doesn't trust me. Maggie finally looked back at Ava and took a few steps closer, jabbing an accusing finger.
"Look, I don't know if you got the message last time, but stay OUT of my head, Ava!" Ava's eyes watered, confused and scared for being yelled at.
"B-but, Maggie, I'm not in your head!" Maggie gave a yell without words and clamped her hands over her ears.
"SHUT UP!" She swiped at Ava clumsily, and Ava side stepped from the blind jab. She looked at Maggie again through a red curtain and the lava around her bubbled.
"Maybe it's YOU who should SHUT UP!" She screamed, wanting to hit and slap and scratch and punch, but couldn't bring herself to do it. Maggie looked at her, surprised and unsettled. She pulled her hands away from her ears and held them to her chest.
"You don't usually do that." Maggie attempted to joke. The floor around Ava was heating up and Maggie yelped as she burnt the soles of her feet. Ava's skin turned hot and glowed with heat, turning shades of orange and yellow.
"WELL MAYBE I'M SICK OF NOT TRYING TO DO SOMETHING, MAYBE I'M SICK OF HAVING TO DEAL WITH YOUR DUMB ATTITUDE ALL THE TIME! I THOUGHT-" Ava screwed up her face but continued anyway. "-I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS." Maggie stared at her, dumbstruck. Ava balled up her fists and took a deep breath. "Aren't… We supposed to be friends?" She murmured. Ava looked at Maggie, and Maggie stared back. The air was silent and cold.
Maggie shifted, her dress' cloth moving suddenly sounding so loud in the quiet corridor.
"So… You're not one of Tuls' dumb… Memories." Ava nodded hesitantly and sank down against the wall, feeling exhausted. The magma that had bubbled up through the cracks in the floor seeped back below as she calmed down. Maggie slid down the chaise lounge she had been standing on, leaning against it as she sat on the floor. Trust Maggie to deliberately not sit on a couch. Ava dragged her hands across her face and Maggie fiddled with a strand of hair. She inhaled as if to say something, but didn't say it. Ava curled up again and looked in the opposite direction of Maggie.
"Sorry…"
"Don't be." Ava hesitantly turned her head to look at Maggie again, expression confused and vulnerable. Maggie's cheeks were flushed and she was twirling her hair tightly and letting it go. Tight. Let go. Tight. Let go. After a moment of silence Maggie took a deep breath in and spoke again. "I was really immature, leaving you alone like that. I… I should have fixed it. You and me should have worked out but.. I was stubborn and-" Another pause for breath. "I was going through some shit. Tuls is pretty scary when you first meet him, and I was a kid with a crazy imagination. I thought I was nuts." She scoffed at herself and turned away from Ava. Ava rubbed the back of her neck, cold shivers running through her body.
"It was my fault too though Maggie. I was really needy and couldn't control Wrathia enough, I was a coward… Most of the stuff I said I didn't want to say."
"Me too." Maggie said quietly. They both finally made eye contact, and Ava felt that they were on the right track. Ava fidgeted with the hem of her dress, not knowing what to say, or what to do now. "Nice place you got here."Maggie said in a light tone and Ava laughed hesitantly.
"Yours is nicer."
"Pfft, no way." Maggie's familiar smile graced her face and Ava smiled in return. She looked around and saw a trapdoor open in the floor with bright light pouring out of it, she saw the dust motes caught in the light's beam, and if she looked closely she could almost see grass. Ava looked back at Maggie and saw her frowning. "Why are you so obsessed with my mind anyway." Ava's smile weakened. "You're creeping about in there all the time." Ava laughed.
"It was once, Maggie." When she saw Maggie's reaction she realised laughing was the wrong thing to do. Maggie got up and headed towards the trapdoor. Ava's heart froze and she got to her feet. "Maggie, don't."
"Just go away Ava. We were only a fluke. It can't work again." She said in a louder tone of voice, her teeth gritted and posture tense. Ava's face fell and all the wounds she had sworn were closing cracked open again.
"Maggie I-"
"I said, GO AWAY! I'm so sick of you coming into my life and messing it up!" She didn't even look back as she went through the trapdoor. Ava felt a tear roll down her cheek, cold against her boiling skin.
Ava clenched her jaw and wiped the tear away with a rough hand and pulled the trapdoor open, sliding down into Maggie's mind. The fields were filled with flowers, and as she slid down the trunk of the tree the trapdoor had been in, her shaky view showed Maggie storming off through the trees, thorns and brambles growing at her feet and fairies flitting about her head. Ava rolled into the grass, bruising herself on knots in the trees, skidding to a halt in the dirt. She coughed and got up running towards Maggie.
"Maggie!" She ran faster, pushing past the brambles, roses she had pushed out of the way whacking her calves as she passed them, but she ignored the pain, only yelping when the sole of her foot met with a thick thorn. Maggie whipped around at the sound, her expression the same as Ava's had been not 5 minutes ago. Ava continued to call her name as the tangled thorns and brambles built up around Maggie. Ava pushed through them, cutting herself and cutting herself again. Eventually she broke into the circle where Maggie stood. The thorns provided a clearing for just the two of them, the dew underneath their feet remarkably cold.
Maggie roared at Ava, spit flying from her mouth.
"FUCK OFF AVA!" Ava was hurt by the words but she ignored it, grabbing Maggie's wrist as she tried to run away again through a window in the thorns.
"No."
"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU JUST MESS MY HEAD UP AVA I CAN'T DEAL WITH YOUR SHIT."
"No."
"I DON'T WANT YOU HERE!"
"No." Maggie scowled darkly at Ava and tried to yank out of her grasp. Ava kept a calm facade, trying not to cry at all the shades of pain she felt. "Maggie, I don't want to give up on us anymore. What happened… We're both to blame."
"Shut up."
"Maggie. It's okay. Things that happen in the past… We can't help it. But we… We can try and move on."
"I can't just forget what happened Ava."
"You don't need to. You just, remember it as something that should never happen again, you, you use it as a reminder. You remind yourself that, if you can get through that, you can handle some healing." Maggie's wrist gradually untensed against Ava's palm and her expression was more vulnerable than Ava had ever seen her. She let go of Maggie's wrist and clasped her own hands together, shoulders curling in towards each other. "I know that you hate me, and I'm confused too but I was just hoping I could make you hate me less… But-" Ava choked on her words and she put her hand over her mouth and tried not to let her eyes tear up so much as she wanted to, knowing the salt would hurt the scratches on her cheeks. She shook her head, seeing how dumbstruck Maggie was. "I'm so sorry Maggie I'm so stupid, I'm so stupid." She turned away, her stomach a whirlwind of emotion. She felt the whirlwind grow into a black hole as she prepared to go through all the shit she'd caused again. Suddenly something grabbed her wrist and spun her around to face the other way. Ava barely managed to comprehend Maggie coming suddenly close to her when their lips crashed together, and Ava felt so very, very warm.
Maggie's lips were brash and bold at first, and Ava was too surprised to do anything herself, but as the two of them sank deeper into the kiss, she felt so very at home, and she closed her eyes. Ava's wrist, still gripped by Maggie's hand was between the two of them, the only thing stopping their chests from touching. Maggie's other hand came forward and held Ava's hip, Ava's hand soon resting on top of it. Ava realised how soft Maggie's skin was, how warm and smooth it felt against her own. Maggie finally let go of Ava's wrist, but only to cup the back of Ava's neck, pushing her lips closer against hers, filled with passion and what Ava could only describe as desire. She let her hand slide up to rest on Maggie's shoulder, her skin hot and flushed, warming Maggie's own. They finally came apart to breathe, and Maggie rested her forehead against Ava's, panting and exhausted. She opened her emerald eyes to look into Ava's own ruby irises. She scrunched her eyes closed again and whimpered out;
"I'm so sorry Ava. I just-" Ava put her finger against Maggie's lips and quieted her.
"I understand Mag. I forgive you." Maggie's watery eyes met hers again and Ava could see the relief and thanks in her eyes. Ava pulled her finger away from Maggie's lips to kiss her again, needing her more. All this confusion, all this pain and hurt and lost feelings, but all the love and happiness and relief as well, resolved and resounded into an earth-shattering single kiss. Their bodies were flush against each other, pressed as close as they possibly could, Ava's heated skin meeting Maggie's freckled tones.
Their bodies were warmed by each other, kissing, and kissing once more. Maggie's hands were clasped in the small of Ava's back, while Ava had her fingers tangled in Maggie's forest green locks. Vines wrapped around their legs, and Maggie broke the kiss to swear and kick them off. Ava threw back her head and laughed but Maggie only took the chance to pepper kisses across her neck and collarbone, adoring every inch of her neck. Ava sighed and moaned before their lips met again in a mighty clash. Ava's hands ran down Maggie's arms, meeting her hands on the sides of her body, the flushed temperature of her skin apparent even through her dress and Maggie's hands. They were kissing and kissing but it never felt wrong, it just felt so right, so longingly awaited, as if this was the whole reason they had existed for. Eventually their passion winded down into sweeter, gentler kisses, and Maggie realised how soft Ava's lips could be. She ran her fingers in circles on the fabric of Ava's dress, and Ava did something similar with hers, but she was too busy thinking about Ava. Ava. Ava. Ava.
They ended up sat in the roots of a tree, Ava in Maggie's lap, the both of them face to face, and feeling whole and happier for it. Ava's lips were numb and she felt that this was what she had wanted all along during their friendship. Maggie was running her finger over the intricate designs on Ava's drawer through her dress while she played with Maggie's ringlets. The both of them were silent, the kiss having said it all. Ava still felt doubtful. Finally she broke the silence.
"You're a pretty good kisser." Maggie threw her head back and laughed, her eyes crinkling at the corners, her nose wrinkling. Ava blushed at how perfect she looked.
"People have said that to me before." Maggie said in false sultry tones and Ava lightly punched her in the upper arm, causing Maggie to laugh again and Ava giggled too. Ava's giggles quietened and she interlocked her fingers in her lap. She furrowed her brow and when she met Maggie's gaze again she saw worry and care for Ava, something she hadn't seen for a long time.
"Are you sure-" Maggie cupped her glowing cheek and made her meet her eyes.
"I'm sure, Ava."
"I just…. What if we turn out like last time, I don't want to hurt-"
"We can't help what happened back then, we'll just have to remind ourselves that we can try this again." Ava sniffled and bit her lower lip as she broke into a weak smile. Maggie laughed softly. "God you're cute."
