So folks, this is my first attempt at a Last of US fic. I hope you'll like it, and please let me know what you think. Positive or negative, I'll take whatever feedback I can get. That's the only way I'll get better. Two quick note; this fic will cover some adult themes - none will be explicit - but they will be heavily implied and openly talked about. It's rated M for a reason. This will be your only warning Also, because it squicks me out, this is NOT a Joel/Ellie fic. So, without further ado...Let's get started.
Joel grunted as he hopped over a window sill and landed hard on the other side. He immediately ducked down, using the wall beneath the window as a shield as gunshots flew over his head. "God dammit…" Joel muttered as one bullet nicked the window and sent wood splinters shooting into the room. He reached to his holster and grabbed his revolver tightly in his hand.
Then, he crawled along the floor, keeping his head beneath the windowsill. He ducked into the kitchen of the home and then stood up along the wall. He heard two loud thumps and knew some of the hunters had come in, looking for him. His heart beat swiftly in his chest as adrenalin ran through him. Regardless, he calmed himself with decades of practice and closed his eyes. He pressed his ear against the wall and listened to them move through the apartment, searching.
The hunters broke apart from each other and one moved towards the kitchen. He crouched again and prepared himself to attack. The hunter's steps were loud and when he came into the kitchen Joel sprung, wrapping his arm around the man's neck and squeezing. The hunter grunted and struggled, but Joel's grip was strong and fierce. Soon, the struggles withered away until he fell limp on the floor.
"Hey!" The other hunter shouted and Joel cursed, having been distracted by the first one and not realized the second spotted him. The hunter raised his gun and fired off a few shots but Joel managed to duck behind the wall again and the shots were blocked by the wall.
"Shit." Joel cursed again and raised his revolver to his chest. He quickly peeked around the wall and spotted the hunter crouching poorly behind the couch in the living room. Joel raised his gun and with a sure hand, fired at the hunter and shot him in the shoulder, through his chest. He fell dead and Joel smirked a bit.
His smirk fell, however, when he heard more hunters coming from outside. "He's in there! Get him!" They shouted and Joel scowled and ran up the stairs. He ducked into one of the bedrooms and looked down the window to see five more hunters coming in to kill him.
"Man, will these guys just leave me alone?" He asked aloud to himself. He shut and locked the door, then walked and ducked behind the other side of the bed in case they came in. He needed a minute to breathe.
The hunters had been chasing him for ten miles; ever since he stumbled into their territory upon entering Billings, Montana. He'd been looking for a QZ, but instead had found another abandoned zone – it didn't surprise him. The area had been overrun by hunters and as soon as they spotted him they've been determined to kill him as if it were personal.
A loud bang pulled him from his thoughts and he listened to the hunters thoroughly search the house for him. Having taken his moment, he stood and silently moved about the bedroom. Something immediately caught his attention. Walking over to the desk he looked down and looked at the colorful images of the Savage Starlight comic.
Hesitantly he reached out and picked it up. The pages were weak, but it was whole and in good enough condition. Looking at the number he saw that it was one Ellie hadn't read yet – but that thought made his heart skip a beat and clench in pain. He didn't know why, but he rolled it up and slipped it into his backpack and then looked to the door. It was time to get out of here.
Silently he unlocked the door and peered through the crack as he opened it just an inch. Thee upstairs, and he assumed the other two were downstairs. He tightened his grip on his revolver and waited for the first hunter to come into view.
It was time to end this.
Later that night, Joel pulled himself up into an office building and quickly secured the room. He made sure the doors were locked, covered the window so he couldn't be spotted from outside, and then he hunkered down. He had found a lantern earlier that day and he lit it up. He reached into his backpack and pulled out a can of beans and popped it open. He munched on it as he rested against the wall and tried to relax.
It was hard with the silence…
When he decided to leave Ellie behind with Tommy three weeks ago he didn't suspect to miss her this much. He knew he would miss her some, of course….But he could hardly concentrate without her incessant chatter.
Slowly he set the beans aside and reached for his backpack. He pulled out the comic and looked down at it with a nostalgic smile. He ran his thick and calloused fingers over the colorful front page and then tentatively flipped it open and began reading. By the time he had finished reading the comic he could hear a low, distant whistling. A memory…
"Quiet down, Kiddo." He said in a whisper, his voice ridden with defeat. The whistling went away, but it didn't make Joel feel any better. He slapped the comic on the floor next to him and drew up his knees. He rested his forearms on his knees and leaned his head back against the wall. "It was the right thing to do. She's better off with Tommy." He told himself, still trying to convince himself after three weeks of failing to do so.
He eventually finished his small meal, laid back, and went to sleep.
As he drifted off to sleep he thought about the last time he saw Ellie – how she wouldn't even look him in the eyes….
Three Weeks Earlier.
"You are not my daughter. And I sure as hell ain't your dad."
The words were cruel, and if Joel were honest with himself…not really true. Ellie had come to mean so much to him – too much. That was why this needed to be done. That was why she needed to get away from him now, before she ended up just like everyone else that got too close to him.
He lived a dangerous life. He was a cold man with no conscious. He had enemies and created more wherever he went. As lucky as they'd been to get this far, Tommy was going to be Ellie's best bet of getting to the lab in Colorado.
He could see the hope fade from her eyes and the defeat settled in. She slumped and Joel felt as if he'd smacked her across the face, but he knew that if he had it would have been better than what he had said. Though she wasn't his daughter by blood, she'd become a surrogate. She hadn't replaced Sarah – no one ever could – but she had shown him that he could trust again, he could give his heart again. But it wouldn't last, nothing ever did.
He'd be too slow on the draw, or a clicker would sneak up on them and then she'd be gone…And he couldn't do that again. He could go through that loss again. Losing Sarah nearly killed him – it did a good job of breaking him. And Tess had barely managed to pick up his shattered pieces and put some of them back together. But if he lost Ellie, if anything happened to her, there'd be nothing left.
"We are going our separate ways." He told her firmly, in the gruffest, coldest voice he could muster because he knew she reacted to it. He knew she would feel it. He was going to say more, he had to drive it in or else Ellie – stubborn girl that she is – would just argue with him about it. But before he could, Tommy ran in and warned them of the approaching hunters.
Joel turned and glanced out the window. "I got two coming in." He alerted and Tommy leaned against the door jam and looked down the hallway.
Tommy said something, but Joel's focus was on Ellie. She was usually so quick to duck and get ready to fight, but now…she slumped against the dresser and looked down at the ground. It nearly broke his heart, but he couldn't think of that right now. He had to focus on what he did best. He drew his gun and took care of the hunters.
When the house was clear he walked out onto the deck to make sure there were no more coming, but it looked clear. He stood his ground and let Tommy and Ellie walk by him. As they did he looked at her but she firmly looked ahead and walked to her horse, not sparing him a single glance. He sighed and put his gun away, and followed behind the other two.
The ride was silent and thick with tension. As they trotted back to Tommy's town Joel thought about his choice and whether or not he should just go along with Ellie himself. But he didn't know the area. He didn't know the fireflies. He didn't know how to keep her safe. Tommy could do all of those things.
As they reached the ledge overlooking the settlement they came to a stop and Joel wondered how he was going to say goodbye to her…How did he look at her and convince her that it was better this way. That he was doing this because he wanted her to be safe. He didn't want to get rid of her, he did before – sure – but not now…
Even if he could work up the guts to say any of those things, which was unlikely, Ellie didn't give him a chance. She turned to Tommy, stiffly giving Joel her back, and moved her horse closer to him. "Let's go." She said flatly, her voice not filled with its usual excitement or wonder.
Joel just sighed and looked back to the settlement, it was clear Ellie wasn't going to say anything to him. He watched Tommy give him one last imploring look. One last chance to change his mind. One last chance to stay with Ellie. Joel tightened his grip on the reigns and turned his horse around.
As he moved away he heard Tommy talk to Ellie, but he blocked out what his younger brother was saying. He shut his eyes tightly and felt tears begin to well up. He fought them off, he really tried to. But as his chest tightened and his eyes welled, he felt two little tears break through his defenses and trailed down his cheek to his rough beard.
He didn't know where they were going, he had made sure not to ask to prevent himself from changing his mind. He had just picked a random direction and started traveling. Every morning he woke expecting to see Ellie there, and every morning he was disappointed that she wasn't.
He thought about her whistling, her shitty puns, and her crappy comic. He thought about her foul language and her determination. He thought about her strength. He thought about how well he could count on her to watch his back…Most of all, he thought about he she wasn't there.
He thought about her every day, and every day it got harder and harder to be apart from her.
But this was for the best. This was the way things needed to be. He was a survivor, and he did whatever he had to do to survive. That was no life for a little girl – for his little girl.
