Crackle.

"Hello? Hey, is this thing on? Ah, here we go."

A picture, slightly warped and fuzzy, appears on the screen. It's an image of a lean, dark grayish-brown tabby she-cat, with long, rather frazzled-looking fur, wide amber eyes, an unnaturally cheerful grin, and, oddly enough, glasses, which she adjusts before speaking.

"Hello everyone, my name is Dwarfstar, and I'm broadcasting live from the location of 'Not ANOTHER Truth Or Dare!'."

She reaches out and turns the screen in several different directions, allowing the viewer to see the interior of a trailer; dust and grime covers the peeling walls, and cobwebs are in every corner. A roach appears and scuttles through the junk all over the floor. In the corner is a messy, hastily slapped-together nest, completing the picture of shabbiness. Dwarfstar coughs in a slightly embarrassed manner as she turns the screen to its original position.

"Yeah, bit of a fixer-upper, I know. Too bad I can't take the webcam outside; it really is beautiful out there during the last few days of autumn. Anyway, I'm broadcasting to anyone who will listen. Why? I'm handing out an across-the-web invitation to sign up for the crew who will be running the show. That's right; for no money involved, you can work at one of the most beautiful spots in the entire Fandom, for as long as you want, whenever you want! You'll get free food and shelter (a.k.a. an all-you-can-eat Warriors buffet and your own trailer), medical care, and the wonderful… c-companionship… of your fellow crew members."

She stumbles over the word 'companionship', her eye twitching as her smile grows slightly more forced.

"Anyway, to get there, all you need to do is pack up whatever you want to bring (I'd suggest nothing too delicate), and travel to the Warriors Fandom Gate at 10:00 P.M., whatever day you decide to come. You should be met, sooner or later, by two toms in business suits. One is a tall, dark brown tabby tom, and one is a much smaller black one with huge ears, goggles, and a ginger patch on his forehead; they will answer to Darkstorm and Coalfur. If they're not wearing business suits and you recognize them anyway, give 'em a nice big thwack for me.

"If you don't want to be a crewmember, or even if you do, you can still send in dares for any character in the show, canon and OC alike. Just mail it to the meeting place, and Darkstorm and Coalfur should pick it up when they head over every night. There are a few rules, though, for your form and/or your dares."

Dwarfstar whips a list from out behind her, clears her throat, and after adjusting her glasses again, starts to read:

"Rule number one: Always send dares and crewmember applications in PMs. This way, my account and the story will be much safer from righteous snobs who think that Truth Or Dares are completely against the guidelines (when in fact they are not specifically mentioned in the guidelines at all, and they person never says anything about songfics, which are quite explicitly against the TOS) and that they all suck no matter what. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for the Guidelines, and there are lots of awesome people who just don't think about it, but for the most part they tend to be, as I said, righteous, copy-and-paste flamer snobs who mindlessly attack these things, usually without reading the story first, and suspiciously enough have no stories of their own (or they're ridiculously crappy one-shots about the Warriors smoking crystal meth -cough cough-)."

By now she is breathing heavily and squeezing a stress doll in the shape of Firestar; you get the feeling she's still a bit angry from some recent encounters. When she calms down and the veins on her head and neck stop pumping furiously, she takes a deep breath and continues.

"Besides, it's easier for me to contact you about your dare/application if you use PMs. Moving on. Rule number two: in your form, please don't design it on your application with totally impossible fur color, powers, or names. It's OK if it's 'impossible' because the Warriors just wouldn't know what it was (for example, Phoenixwing, Dwarfstar, Nukefur, etc.); but stuff like Mustangchance and Moonbeamdagger and Unicornhorn? No freaking way. Also, if you could not send in more than one crewmember application, unless they're twins who are never seen apart or something, that would be really great."

She sets aside the mangled Firestar stress doll and goes on.

"Rule number three: Please try to take it easy on make-out and date dares, as they tend to be rather stiff and hard to be creative with, wasting a portion of show on pure meh, when you could have made the show better with a more creative and funny dare. Also, I will not under any circumstances use a dare that includes something like having Hollypaw mate with Jaypaw 50 times, make the kits warriors five seconds after they're born, name them all Poopkit, N00bkit, or AIDSkit, and then eat them in front of all the Clans (and yes, I actually saw multiple dares almost exactly like that O_o).That's just sick and horrible, and you won't see it in my show. Also, no rape or havesex dares."

Dwarfstar looks sickened for a moment, then shakes her head and continues once again.

"Rule number four: Compose your messages as if you were going to show them to your English teacher. A few mistakes are okay, but messages that look like this: "zOMGZ THIS IS SOOOOOO AWSOMCN I B IN UR STORY PLZ PLZ PLZ?!?!1?!/!? kTHNXBAI" make everyone who sees them want so desperately to dig their eyes out with a rusty spoon. A few spelling or grammar errors are just fine (I do it all the time), but please, spare the eyes of me and others. Anyway, that's about it, unless you want to go vote for your favorite character so far in 'Not ANOTHER Truth Or Dare!' on my lookup. That's all, folks!"

The frizzle-furred she-cat cranks up her grin and reaches out to turn off the webcam. However, in the last few seconds of transmission, you see the screen fall forward and hear a loudly exclaimed "Oh crap!". Then the screen goes blank, and you are left to make your own assumptions about this Dwarfstar character.