Warnings: Adult themes; non-explicit, non-graphical
Many thanks to Catalog Cats for proof-reading this story :)
1. Aren't you bold
The soft pattering of rain on copper stone echoed through the empty streets of London. It was still early in the morning and not many people were to be seen. Most aristocrats would have avoided this part of the town or at least would have never come here alone, but Claudia didn't care all that much. She enjoyed the silence, the absence of servants and gossiping nobles. Just the sound of her own feet on wet ground. Should someone disturb her peace she would know how to defend herself.
It was not hard to find the shop she had been looking for. Coffins and tombstones were decorating the entrance of the dilapidated funeral parlour. Claudia's eyes skipped to the sign above the door: Undertaker. The name of the mortician working at this shop. She had been asking around, but apparently he was not known by any other name than simply 'Undertaker'. Other than his reputation of being a creepy and disturbing old man Claudia knew that he often offered his service to those who had fallen victim to crime. Specifically, London's underground society. He could be a splendid informant – and that was why she was here.
Unblinking she removed a freshly finished spider web from the door handle, glistening with dew drops, and raised her hand to knock on the old wooden door. There was no answer. After waiting an appropriate amount of time, she opened the door.
The room was filled with coffins of all woods, colours, and sizes. Old, dusty spider webs were decorating empty picture frames and shelves were standing along the walls, filled with bottles containing suspicious looking fluids. If it hadn't been for the few candles lighting the room she would have thought this place had been uninhabited for years. It looked like it was on the brink of collape.
"Hee hee~" Suddenly, an eerie, high-pitched laugh filled the room. "Welcooome."
Claudia's heart skipped a beat even though she had been expecting something like this. Her gaze wandered to the right, but all she could see were more coffins. It took a moment for her to realize he was probably hiding in one of them.
"You must be Undertaker." Her voice gave away nothing of the little fright he had caused her.
The coffin lid gave a deafening squeak as the funeral director opened the door, stepping out of the dark and tight space. He was tall and dressed in black robes, a wide grin plastered on his lips. His silvery hair reached almost to his lower back and his face was partly covered by long bangs.
She had to admit, she was surprised. When people had told her that he was a creepy and disturbing old man she had been expecting something different. She could imagine how people came to call him creepy and disturbing, but in fact, she could not tell how old he was. The greyish colour of his hair certainly made him appear somewhat old, but the part of his face she was able to see looked young and was free of wrinkles.
"Oh, what an interesting guest we have here…" While passing by, he took an urn from a shelf and opened it. To Claudia's surprise it contained bone shaped cookies. "Countess Phantomhive, isn't it? The Queen's Watchdog."
I've never met him and yet he recognized me on first glance. He also knows my occupation. He knew way too much to be a plain mortician, no doubt about that.
He didn't wait for her to confirm his assumption and leaned against a dark wooden desk in the middle of the room. The grin never left his lips. "Sooo, how can a humble funeral director such as myself help you, Countess Phantomhive?"
Claudia decided that there was no need for flattery or exaggerated secrecy. "I've heard that you possess some information about the movements of the underground of London. I am investigating a few cases of murder and I was told that you were assigned to bury the corpses."
"So I thought." He crooked his head. "But you see~, before I can give you any information you will have to pay me first."
Claudia nodded. "Of course. How much?"
Without a warning, Undertaker burst into laughter and slowly strolled towards her "I see~" So your informants didn't tell you how to pay me."
He stalked around her like a cat, his long robes brushing her arm in the process. He was entirely too close to someone of her rank, but her instincts told her that she was not in danger. He was moving like a cat, yes, but he was not out for killing. It seemed like he just wanted to play.
"So I do not pay you with money, I see" she answered and fruitlessly tried to meet his gaze through the long, silvery bangs. "What is it then you take for payment?"
He stopped in front of her and suddenly his face was way too close to hers. Maybe she would have felt intimidated if she would have not been so amused by the fact that his breath actually smelled of cookies – of all things she would have expected.
"Laughter", was his simple answer. "A first rate laugh… That is everything I desire."
Claudia blinked in surprise. "I just need to make you laugh?"
That was easier than she had anticipated. Undertaker opened his mouth, but before he could utter a sound her hands were already on him. He yelped in surprise when she easily found that special ticklish spot at his sides. He burst out laughing, trying to shield himself from her attacking hands, but every time he managed to cover one spot she had already discovered three more.
In an attempt to escape her assault he took a step backward and hit a coffin lying on the ground. Laughing, he stumbled and slumped on the lid, even more vulnerable to her. She did not halt for even a second.
"Stop", he managed in between bouts of laughter, tears running down his cheeks. "That's - enough. I'll - tell you anything."
Claudia stopped her assault and pulled her hands back. Undertaker was lying on the lid of the coffin, breathing heavily.
"Don't tell me nobody ever did that to make you laugh?" Claudia asked, amused. It was the most obvious method after all, wasn't it?
"Not yet", he admitted in between huffs. When he got up a crooked smile was pulling at his lips. "Visitors are usually too afraid of me to even think of it." He eyed her for a moment – at least she thought so. "What a bold lady you are."
Claudia shrugged her shoulders. "I've been told that a few times."
He grinned and took place behind the huge desk. "Is that so~? So then, what is it you want to know?"
The murder case was much easier to solve with the information Undertaker had provided her. Three of the five recent murder victims had been slain with the same weapon, so her suspicion had been proven right: It was a single person who was causing most of these cases. The dead were not connected in any obvious way, but in the end she managed to figure it out. Being able to take a look at the corpses had been a great help indeed. Back then she decided she would definitely come back to the funeral parlour.
Little did she know about the fate God had in store for them.
