"I told you, we are going after Finn, Clarke, and Monty in the morning." He heard Raven say.
"And I told you, nobody leaves this camp." He responded.
He wanted to explain why, that they just couldn't risk any more people, that going out there was just a suicide mission. But he couldn't say that, because that wasn't the real reason. He wasn't ready to deal with why he really didn't want to go out there, with the fact that he was scared as hell, not scared to die, but scared that he would find them dead, so he started to walk away. But Raven was not satisfied with the answer he had given her, because she ran after him and said:
"Hey, I was talking to you. We can't just abandon our people. You wanna lead them? Show me you give a damn. "
Ouch, that hurt. He did give a damn. In fact, he cared way too much. How he wished he could just not care. He could pretend all he wanted, but he cared anyway. And right now everything told him to go look for Finn, Clarke and Monty. Because it was not just anyone out there. It was Clarke. The brave princess. He never thought he would care about anyone other than Octavia, but here he was, worrying about that beautiful brave princess. He just couldn't tell anyone that, not yet anyway. So he tried to come up with some remark that would make Raven leave him alone. But just as he was about to answer her, they heard a gunshot. Stupid idiots, he thought.
"Hey! What the hell is the matter with you?" he shouted at the boy who had fired the gun.
The boy tried to explain and said something about being on watch all day, and falling asleep, but he wasn't really listening to him. He walked towards the boy and pushed him against the tree.
"We've all been on watch, all day. That bullet was one less dead grounder" He wanted to continue but Octavia's voice stopped him.
"Bell, you're scaring people." She said.
There was no need for her to say that. He knew he was. He also knew that it was just the fear talking, but he just couldn't stop himself. He couldn't do this without her. He couldn't do this without Clarke. So he continued.
"They should be scared! The bomb on the bridge bought us some time to prepare, but that time is up! The grounders are out there, right now, waiting for us to leave and picking us off one by one when we do. Clarke, Finn, and Monty are gone, probably dead. "
He paused there, damn it, it had hurt to say that out loud. They couldn't be dead. Clarke couldn't be dead.
"And if you wanna be next, I can't stop you, but no guns are leaving this camp. This camp, is the only thing that is keeping us alive!"
He knew that his fear was starting to show, so he decided to stop his speech there.
"Get back to work." He said, and then he walked off.
He was sitting against a tree when Octavia found him. "Hey big brother", she started. " care to tell me what is really going on with you?" she asked.
Damn her, he thought. Why did she have to know him well enough to know that it wasn't just the grounders that scared him. He couldn't just tell her that he missed Clarke, so he decided to tell her a little lie.
"I'm just scared for the camp, I feel responsible, that's all." He said.
It wasn't a total lie, he really did feel responsible. What if all those kids died? He was their leader, they expected for him to keep them safe. But he had always been able to share that burden with Clarke, and now she was gone. His thoughts were once again interrupted by Octavia.
"I know you are scared and feel responsible, but that's not all, is it? If that was all, you wouldn't have lashed out in front of the entire camp, you wouldn't let yourself. "
Bellamy couldn't come up with a lie anymore, and honestly, he didn't want to, so he decided to tell her the truth.
"But that's where you're wrong, O. I would let myself. Clarke is the one who wouldn't let me. She wouldn't let me lose control. I need her, O. I can't run this camp without her. But now she is not here and I don't know what to do. She needs to be here, otherwise this camp is doomed. The only thing I can do now is making sure that we don't lose more people, I have to make sure that the rest of this camp is safe. "
There, he said it. Now she knew. He had actually told Octavia that he needed Clarke. That he, Bellamy Blake, needed Clarke.
"You care about her, don't you?" was her response.
If it weren't for the circumstances he would have laughed at that. Of course he cared about her. That should be obvious after his confession. He really, really did care about the princess. Maybe even more then he should. He wasn't going to tell Octavia the last part though, he would never hear the end of it. So he told her:
"Yeah, I guess I do."
Hey everyone! So this is supposed to be a multi-chapter story and it kind of follows the storyline from We Are Grounders, but with extra thoughts and scenes. Should I continue? Please review! For next chapter I still not sure what I should do, should I keep writing Bellamy's story, or would you like to see Clarke find her way to camp in next chapter? Please let me know!
