Yes its me.. again. Morpha. Oh wait. I've never wrote a Star wars fic.
I only write Gundam fics. Well. Until now. I shall get to the point.
I no own star wars. I love Obi-Wan. And Wuvluvs,interactive Yoda's
and Furbys have a mind of their own!(I don't own them either) Of all
the fics I've read I have found little humor in star wars fics. So.
Here I go. My first insane Star wars fic!

I'll Be Dead By New Years
By Morpha

It was the most stupid thing the council had ever thought of. No one
in their right mind would do such a thing. Unless your name was Yoda.
It was almost Christmas in Coruscant. The Jedi halls were nicley
decorated,the smell of muja fruit cookies was in the air and a welcome
banner for the siths had been put up. Yes. You heard me right. A
welcome banner for the siths. You see it was Yoda's idea of getting
together with the two siths. Yoda, for some odd and insane reason,
believed that this would bring peace between the two groups.(a little
too much eggnog for Yoda if ya ask me) Sadly he was the only one who
thought that. Well maybe the council did, but they wouldn't admit to
it. Only the most important Jedi's would have the ummm well Yoda
called it "pleasure" to celebrate Christmas with the sith. That
included the council, Obi-Wan,Qui-Gon and.. oh wait. The rest called
in sick. So that included the council,Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon. Yoda had
ordered them to buy the two siths presents. So everyone coughed up
their money and bought the Sith'spresents. From the dollar store that
is. The Siths would be arriving very soon, so much hustling and
bustling was being done. Course most of the Jedi had left the building.
Not that they were afraid of the Sith. Just the fact that Yoda had
gallons of eggnog scared them.

Yoda: Good. Good. Everything now good. Wait we shall for our friends
we will.

Mace Windu: Yoda. Don't you think that this is well.... insane!?

Yoda: Insane it is not. Teddy bears insane but not this. *takes a
swig of eggnog*

Windu: Oh no. Were all going to die.

Obi-Wan stood tall beside his master Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan felt very well
lets just say worried that Yoda might end up having a little TOO much
eggnog and insist on playing strip poker. Qui-Gon sensed his worries.

Qui-Gon: Do not worry my padawan. Just remember the ways of the Jedi
and you shall live through this night.

Obi-Wan: Yes. I hope so.

After a moment of silence a star cruiser pulled up to the landing
platfrom where the jedi waited for the sith. Darth Maul and Darth
Sidious walked out onto the platfrom and showed no signs of friendship.
After much silence Yoda lead them into the council room, which had now
been decorated with teletubbies in elf outfits. Finally Darth Maul
spoke.

Maul: May I ask you why the hell you have teletubbies everywhere?!

Yoda: Same *hic* size as me they are. Happy are they. Love them you
will. Friendly they are. *hic*

Sidious: It seems that the once great Yoda has fallen.

Yoda: Eggnog?

Sidious immediatley dived for the eggnog and started to hug the
teletubbies. Maul looked at his master and than looked at Obi-Wan with
anger.

Maul: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HIM!?

Obi-Wan: Nothing at all.

Qui-Gon: Cookies?? *holds up a platter of muja cookies*

Maul: NO! You Jedi probably have something addictive in the cookies!
Besides. *turns slightly pink* There VERY fattening.

Qui-Gon: Oh. Well then. *puts platter down*

Soon almost all the council had some of Yoda's eggnog. Or was that
REALLY eggnog? Guess will never know. Except that it had alcohol in it.
Mace Windu had had also a little TOO much and started to dance on the
table with a lamp shade on his head. Yaddle was having a piggy back
ride from Ko Ploon. And the rest were just sitting playing poker.
Not strip poker. Not yet anyways. I hope not. Course they had mugs
filled with eggnog so you never know. Obi-Wan and Maul had laid off
the eggnog.Qui-Gon hadn't tasted it either, but he was getting VERY
thirsty after eating the muja cookies. All Maul could do was give
Obi-Wan death glares, while Obi-Wan kept an eye on Qui-Gon. FINALLY.
It was time to exchange gifts, which the sith had also brought.

Yoda: Open mine you shall Sidious. Like it you will.

Sidious, who now was acting like a child, ripped open the present.
To find an interactive Yoda with a lightsaber which wasn't real but
made out of plastic. Sidious's eyes got all big and watery with joy.

Sidious: I'll *sniff* treasure it forever!

The rest of the gifts for Sidious were either die sith scum watchs,
or paperclips. Though Qui-Gon,who always went out for Christmas, gave
Sidious a shirt that read coffee is the way of the force, the others
weren't so generous. After millions of paperclips had been dumped onto
Maul's lap, Obi-Wan, stepped forward. With a not so jedi look. More
like an evil grin. Obi-Wan handed Maul the present. After much
muttering he opened it to find a ......... Wuvluv??? Not only had
Obi-Wan given him aWuvluv but a Wuvluv with batteries that were inside.
The Wuvluv came to life.

Wuvluv: My name is Wuvvydovvy! And I love you!!!!!!!!!

Maul:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!ITS POSESSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
!!GET IT AWAY FROM ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!

Sidious: Its soo... cute! Now we will give you our presents.

The presents turned out to be.. paperclips and die jedi scum watches.
(Well ya know what they say...rivals think alike) Except for one
present that was labled for Qui-Gon. Darth Maul walked over and grabbed
the present and shoved it into Qui-Gon's hands. After looking at it
he started to open it. And it was a ...... Furby.

Qui-Gon: COOL! I always wanted a Furby!!! *hugs it as it comes to life*

Furby: Me Hell furby! I haaaate you!

Obi-Wan: A.. hell.. furby??

Maul: Of course a hell furby! They are cheap cuz no one really buys
them..

Obi-Wan: *muttering* I wonder why.

Maul: And their cool. Well to US sith they are.

Hell furby: Feed me feed me!

Qui-Gon: *Reading the directions* It says to stick my finger in his
mouth and press down his tongue. *puts finger in furby's mouth* Like
this?

The furby, being from hell, bit down on Qui-Gon's finger. After
Qui-Gon started to run around and yell some unjedi like things.The
furby never let go but made a muffled laugh.

Yoda: *hic* Aw. *hic* Playing already they are. *hic* Likes gift
Qui-Gon does.

Sidious: *hic* It was all my apprentices work. *hic*

Yoda: Trained him *hic* well you have.

Mace: I have an idea! *hic* Lets play strip poker!

Obi-Wan & Maul: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

While the council, who now are all drunk, are setting up the tabel.
Qui-Gon is still running around,crying, as the furby bites harder.
Obi-Wan and Darth Maul are trying to stop them from playing but cannot.
Maul pushes Mace Windu out of the way.

Mace: You have *hic* pushed me! You SHALL go in the *hic* closet! *ties
Mauls Wuvluv around him and uses the force to put masking tape on him*

Council: CLOSET! CLOSET! CLOSET!

Maul: NOOOO!!! MASTE.... MMPHFF!

Masking tape is now palced on Maul's mouth as he is thrown into
the closet and locked. Obi-Wan stands in horror for the first time in
his life as the council,Yoda, Sidious and now Qui-Gon (with his hell
furby still clamped on) playing strip poker.

Obi-Wan: MASTER!!!!! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?

Yoda: Aww! *hic* Bad language you have used! *hic* Put in closet we
shall!

The council ties up Obi-Wan and the interactive Yoda as he is thrown
into the closet. They locked the closet to go start their game. By now
Darth Maul had taken off the mask and was yelling sithly things.His
Wuvluv was yelling absurd Wuvluv things and the interactive Yoda was
now telling Obi-Wan to put him down and that it was dark.

Maul: *turns* This is all your fault!

Obi-Wan: MY FAULT!? YOU were the ones to accept the invitations!

Maul: Thats beacuse we wanted to reak havoc! Not play strip poker!

Interactive Yoda: Question I have.... Why are you here?

Maul: CUZ YOU IDIOTS PUT US IN HERE!

I.Yoda: OH! MEAN WORDS YOU USE! Punish you I shall! Dead by New Years
you will be.

Maul: The only way I'm going to die is if this Wuvluv keeps talking!

Wuvluv: I WUVVVVVV you! *smooch* Heheh. Kisses!! I gave you kisses!
*hugs Maul* Hugggsss! I gave you hugggsss!

Maul: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! IT'S KILLING ME SLOWLY!!!!!!

Obi-Wan: Relax! We'll just knock the door down with the force.

I.Yoda: Use force for good never for attack. Besides. Want to go out
do you and see things. Bad things.

Obi-Wan: Good point. Wait a sec your not supposed to say that.

By now screams and yells could be heard from outside the closet and the
words no being chanted "Take it off take it off!". Darth Maul was
now slowly suffocating not just because almost all of their air had
been used up but the Wuvluv was telling him things that not even a
child could stand.

Maul: THAT'S IT!! I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE!!!!!! GARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGG!

Obi-Wan: No! Don't...

It was to late. Obi-Wan immediatley turned around to face the wall.
Darth Maul threw the Wuvluv across the room than looked at the council
and everyone.

Maul: OH MY.....

Yoda: Welcome to play you are *hic* Just got to underwear we have.
*hic* See. We all wear boxers! *hic*

Yaddle: And *hic* under garments.

Maul: *eye twitching* This... this .. is worse than staying in the
closet with a Jedi, a Wuvluv and Interactive Yoda!!

Obi-Wan: *turns around* MASTER!!!!!

Qui-Gon: Oh. Hello my padawan.

Obi-Wan: Your... your wearing.... BARNEY BRIEFS!!!!!

Maul: Master how dare you wear teletubbies! I shall strike you down
with all my hate and anger!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wuvluv: *grabs onto Mauls leg* I WUVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV YOU!!!!

Maul: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*runs out the door to the star ship carrying Sidious* (course Wuvluv
and Interactive Yoda follow)

Yoda: Oh well. Go they had to. *hic* Eggnog Obi-Wan??

Obi-Wan: NO! *runs away*

The End

Moral: Don't let Morpha eat sugar than write.

Duo: Hey! How come this wasn't Gundam???

Morpha: *sighs* Cuz its not, okay.