Title: Pain
Author: HokusKaeru49
Pairing: Embry / Bella AH
Genre: Tragedy
Summary: Sam just broke up with Bella; and Embry painfully to tried and keep her afloat.
Complete
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
A/N: I was listening to Pain by Three Days Grace. I made myself cry…wah!
"We're over, Bella. I'm sorry…It's just that I…found someone else." Sam said watching the smile on Bella's face fall in to a look of disbelief.
"What?" Bella asked feeling her body start to shake. She kept her ground so that she could really understand what Sam was saying.
"I've had someone else for a while now. I know it was wrong of me to string you along like that and I'm sorry…but I can't be with you anymore." Sam said getting up from the table and backing away.
"How can you do this to me?" Bella asked standing up.
"Please don't make this any harder for both of us, Bella…I'm sorry, good-bye." Sam said turning around and walking out the door of Bella's home.
Bella looked up when she heard the door click shut. "I have to get out of here." Bella said as she took off out the back door and into the alley.
Pain Without love
Pain can't get enough
Pain I like it rough
Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Bella didn't feel anything anymore. Her skin felt numb to the touch. Her lips felt no warmth. How could he do this to me? I never understood…not even once. How could he love me then leave me? Bella thought as her eyes filled tears, but they never fell. She would always ask the same questions ever time. Her heart couldn't take any more of it. That was the second person she loved so much to the point of desperation.
You're sick of feeling numb
You're not the only one
I'll take you by the hand
And I'll show you a world that you can understand
She noticed that she had been walking for so long…not really caring where she went. She just walked. When she finally looked up she noticed where she was…in front of her ex-lovers home. Quickly turning around and walking away someone called to her.
"Bella? Is that you?" The voice sounded so angelic.
"Embry?" Bella asked numbly turning around slowly trying to dispel any grief from her face.
"What's the matter?" Embry asked walking up to his friend.
"Nothing, I've gotta go." Bella said trying to walk away. "Besides, what are you doing here?"
"I could ask you the same question." Embry said raising an eyebrow. "Sam called me. He was feeling bad about how he ended things with you, so he asked me to come over. But that's beside the point. How are you holding up?"
"I'm fine." Bella replied automatically.
"You're sure…I mean you almost seem like you did when Jak-" Embry started but quickly stopped when he saw the tears in friend's eyes. "Never mind, come on, let's get you out of the rain. I have a feeling it's about to get worse."
"Ok." Bella said trying to blink back the tears that threatened to fall.
This life is filled with hurt
When happiness doesn't work
Trust me and take my hand
When the lights go out you'll understand
"Embry…what do I do?" Bella asked finally feeling herself warming up.
"Move on…" Embry said simply.
"But…Embry, I love him." Bella said desperately trying to not let her voice crack.
"I know, but I think this way will be better. I mean…you can still find love again…Bella, I'm worried about you…" Embry said trailing off as he went and sat beside his friend holding onto her tight. "You need someone that'll love you unconditionally, like there's no one else in the world. Sam may be my half-brother, but you were my friend first and sometimes he's an ass. I think you're better off."
"How is it that I've lost both of the loves I've ever had? I don't think I'll be able to take it another time and now I feel like I can't take that chance of getting hurt again." Bella said feeling a sob trying to push its way out of her throat.
"You can cry if you want to." Embry said gently rocking Bella back and forth.
"Thanks." Bella said as she felt everything start to pour out of her. First anger, then agony…then the last one…Pain.
Pain Without love
Pain can't get enough
Pain I like it rough
Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all (X2)
Bella felt her body feel a void of warmth beside her…one that was so welcomed the night before. She looked up to see that no one was there only a small note.
Bella
Went to the store to get some food…will be back soon.
Love, Embry
Bella felt herself start to spiral down. The loss of warmth started to make her feel even sicker to her stomach. Her stomach lurched as she saw a blinking light on the answering machine. Bella pressed the button. As the message started to play Bella felt herself start to breakdown again.
"Bella…hey…I see you're still asleep probably. I have something to tell you. I've got to go out of town soon and I'll see you later. I will be back as soon as I can. Love you." Sam's voice broke through the barriers that Bella had desperately tried to make the night before.
"How could you?" Bella asked aloud falling to her knees.
Anger and Agony
Are better than misery
Trust me I've got a plan
When the lights go out you'll understand.
Embry walked up the steps to Bella's apartment door. He heard a loud crashing sound as he got closer. Embry ran to the door to hurry and unlock it. As soon as he opened the door he fell to his knees in horror.
Bella was hanging from one of his ceiling beams. Embry let out a yell and just sat there frozen in fear. As soon as he could gather himself back together. He hurried toward Bella and cut down her body…but was too late. Bella was already gone.
The only person Embry had ever loved was gone. Never to return with laughter or life.
Pain Without love
Pain can't get enough
Pain I like it rough
Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all (X2)
(Three Days later…Bella's funeral)
"Embry…how are you holding up?" Sam asked looking down to where Embry was frozen in place. Sam was about to touch his arm when Embry jerked it away.
"Don't touch me." Embry spat as he just watched as they lowered his best friend and the love of his life into the ground slowly. "This was all your fault. Don't you ever come near me."
"Embry…I didn't-" Sam started but stopped when Embry looked back at him with tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry."
"She's dead and you think 'I'm sorry'…is gonna make it all better?" Embry asked feeling the tears start to stream down his face.
"I know what you're going through." Sam said quietly.
"You have no idea what I had to go through to pick her back up after what Jacob did to her. And now…now…I've lost the love of my life. I was fine loving her from afar…and as much as it pained me…I let her do what she wanted. I was there for her when her parents died…I was there for her when her grandparents died. I was there for her when she had no one. When she was sad or just lonely…I was there. How could you ever even fathom that you know what I'm going through?" Embry yelled feeling another convulsion from his sobs sweep through him. "Don't you ever even try to understand what we had. You have no clue what we had."
Sam just nodded know that Embry was right…he didn't really try to understand how deep their friendship had gone. "I'm sorry."
"I think you should just go." Said a voice from behind him. Sam turned around to see Quil standing behind him.
"Quil…I-" Sam started but Quil cut him off.
"Just leave…" Quil said as Sam just nodded and turned to leave.
I did love her. Sam thought as he walked away.
I know (X4)
It's your world
Ya know (X4)
That I'm here to save you
Ya know (X4)
I'm always here for you
I know (X4)
That you'll thank me later
(Two years later)
"Hey Bella…it's me again…I know that this probably isn't the best time to do this…but…I miss you so much." Embry said kneeling in front of the tombstone. "I hope you're doing fine. I know that even over these past two years my love for you is still as strong as ever. And I noticed that you're flowers are still here. My love…there's a lot of things that I never got to say aloud to you and I wish so much that you were still here so I could tell you face to face. I love you…I've loved you for so long…but every time I wanted to tell you I chickened out…thinking that you'd reject me…and then I read your letter you left me and I see that you really felt the same way."
Embry pulled the letter out of his pocket. He had found the letter when he was going through all of Bella's personal effects in his apartment. Embry opened the letter and read it aloud:
To my dearest Embry,
I know that I've put you through so much in our life together. I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry for making you worry about me all the time. I know that all the things with Jacob were probably some of the worst times of your life. My heart would ache every time I didn't get to see you. I could never really figure out why, and then I figured out that all along you were the one I was meant to be with. And as soon as I had realized it…it was too late…you had someone else. Then I met Sam and things changed. You were always gone…like you didn't want to be around me at all. I'm sorry if I alienated you away from me. I don't know what I would have ever done without you. Thank you my friend…my love…good-bye.
Love Always and Forever,
Bella
Embry felt his tears start to fall as he finished reading. His voice had started cracking through the middle of it. "I love you Bella…I really do…I'll see you soon." Embry said smiling sadly as he turned around to get back into the wheelchair behind him.
"Come on we have to get you back to the hospital." Quil said pushing Embry's wheelchair away from the tombstone and towards an awaiting car on the road.
Two months later Embry died from lung cancer.
Pain Without love
Pain can't get enough
Pain I like it rough
Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all (X3)
Rather feel pain than nothing at all (X2)
Rather feel pain
