This is not at all how she expected it to end.
She expected a battle, a war, something where she could fight for glory and die in it's victorious chaos.
No, she definitely didn't expect this... because she was alone. She has always been alone.
And in her haste to grip something -anything- that will keep her afloat, she realizes that she filled the ocean in the first place. She is the weight pulling herself down. And there's nothing, not a damn thing she can do about it. She can't fix it! She can't fix it because she broke it, so she doesn't know how to make it right again. And she knows there's no one left to haul out the needle and the glue and the duct tape and haphazardly stick her sorry ass existence back together again. There's no one to attempt to shove her heart back into place, trying with futile effort to cram a broken and battered object back into a space that is not designed to hold it. She's fucked and that's all there is to it.
But the pitiful thing? She screwed her own self over! She had no outside influence, no one to say: "Hey! Go mess up your life and then come back to blame me for it! Doesn't that sound fun?" No, there was no reason she dug herself her own damn grave. There was no reason she clawed and fought and beat her way to the top of the mountain just to throw herself off the peak for the hell of it!
There was no reason.
So when she finally takes that last blow to the dam inside her soul, she realizes that its her that's swinging the sledge hammer. She is the one destroying herself, and she's having a hell of a lot of fun too.
It's not parring with an enemy, no easy victory over the obstacles in her life, no final cry of joy that breaks her. Its herself, finally tearing down the barricade, letting lose the flood she's no longer able to hold back.
She laughs, a bitter, hard sound. You can hear the disgust in her tone. Once a musical melody she would free just for the joy of hearing it, now a hardened, off key organ note that sends the pigeons in the rafters flying high into the air.
And she laughs again, because hell. This wasn't how she expected it to end...
Honestly, I have know idea where this came from. I just sat down at my computer and started typing. I don't know who 'she' is or what the hell she did to screw up her life, but apparently it was bad... hehe.
Anyway, plot and whoever 'she' is belongs to me... so do not plagiarize please and thank you.
And by the way, go on! Click that little reviewie button below and show some love for a newbie here! I have cookies! Did I mention that before? No? Well, I'm mentioning it now.
Type away!
