Disclaimer: I do not own Guilty Gear, or the song I am parodying (unfortunately cannot remember the name!)

A Guilty Gear Drinking Song.

This is a parody of an Irish folk song and tells the story of a man who likes his drink, and whose wife may or may not be having an affair with various members of Guilty Gear. Enjoy.

When I came home on a Monday night, as drunk as drunk can be,

A pure white sword was by the fire

where my own sword should be.

So I called my wife and I said to her please kindly tell to me,

Why there is a sword above the fire where my own sword should be?

Oh you twit, you twit, you silly old fool,

You're drunk as drunk can be.

For that's a brand new knitting set my mother sent to me.

Well there's many a mile I've travelled now, a thousand, maybe more,

But a needle that shoots lightning bolts I never saw before.

When I came home on a Tuesday night, as drunk as drunk can be,

There in the barn was a blood red scythe

where my own scythe should be.

So I called my wife and I said to her please kindly tell to me,

Why there is a crimson scythe in the barn where my own scythe should be?

Oh you twit, you twit, you silly old fool,

You're drunk as drunk can be.

For that there is a brand new parrot my mother sent to me.

Well there's many a mile I've travelled now, a thousand, maybe more,

But a parrot with a five foot beak I never saw before.

When I came home on a Wednesday night, as drunk as drunk can be.

A cue and a new set of billiard balls

were set out where mine should be.

So I called my wife and I said to her please kindly tell to me,

Why these new balls are on the table where my own balls should be?

Oh you twit, you twit, you silly old fool,

You're drunk as drunk can be.

For that's a bag of gobstoppers my mother sent to me.

Well there's many a mile I've travelled now, a thousand, maybe more,

But sweets that taste like billiard balls I never saw before.

When I came home on a Thursday night, as drunk as drunk can be.

A big teddy bear was by the bed

where my bear used to be.

So I called my wife and I said to her please kindly tell to me,

Why there is this girt big teddy bear where my own bear should be?

Oh you twit, you twit, you silly old fool,

You're drunk as drunk can be.

For that there is a prize from the fair my mother won for me.

Well there's many a mile I've travelled now, a thousand, maybe more,

But a fairground prize that pinches your arse I never saw before.

When I came home on a Friday night, as drunk as drunk can be.

A man with his head in a paper bag

was sat on my wife's settee.

So I called my wife and I said to her please kindly tell to me,

Why this man is sat on the seat with you where my own seat should be?

Oh you twit, you twit, you silly old fool,

You're drunk as drunk can be.

For the postman here was delivering a package my mother sent to me.

Well there's many a mile I've travelled now, a thousand, maybe more,

But a postman with a detachable head I never saw before!