She looked up from her breakfast. Well, that is if you could call this strange concoction breakfast. It certainly didn't look like any sort of edible food she's seen before. And that's saying something because she's been at her boyfriend's apartment in New York for the past few days.
She frowned. "What is this?"
Her boyfriend laughed as he set his plate of the same odd-looking substance on the table. "Its breakfast, sourpuss!"
"I didn't ask what it's supposed to be I asked what it is, swine."
He grinned. "Its pancakes with M&M's, a mushroom cloud's worth of whip cream, more M&M's, and colorful sprinkles!"
"And this is supposed to breakfast?"
"Hell, yeah. Try it you're going to love it!"
She poked her what should be a pancake with her fork. "I doubt it."
He took a seat. "Why not? Its good for you."
"Seriously? Do you even know what nutrition is?"
"Isn't that the listed boring crap on the side of a cereal box?"
She just rolled her eyes.
"So why don't you try it?" he asked again.
"I never been a fan of a lot of sugar at once."
"No, you just don't know that you're actually a fan of a lot of sugar at once."
"No. I really don't like things that sugary."
"No. You just have eaten sugary things right."
"You're making no sense, swine."
"Its like the time you said that you hated my nickname for you. Remember when you said that? You're pretty cool with my nickname for ya now and-"
She cut him off. "I still hate that you call me 'sourpuss' but I've learned to tolerate it."
"So learn to tolerate my amazing pancake creation. I put extreme M&M's on it for it can be beautiful like you, sourpuss."
"What can possibly be a better pickup line than that?" She set her fork down. "I think if I try this I'll immediately die of diabetes or something."
"Dude, food can't kill ya 'cause you eat for it before it eats you."
"How did I ever manage to fall for you? You're so not my type."
He laughed. "Yeah, I know right? My good looks and personally charm can make anybody think twice about the angry mob they'll encounter if they fall for me."
"I'm not getting you."
"Well, clearly I have butt loads of admires 'cause I'm that freaking awesome and hot. And clearly these admires have to fight each other for my attention. So, that clearly means that anybody would think twice about falling for me."
She shrugged. "I guess that makes some sort of weird sense."
"Of course it does. Now try my pancakes!"
She picked up her fork. "You're not going to stop bothering me until I try your pancakes, huh?"
He chuckled. "Well duh. I would say that I forbid you from leaving this table until you clean your plate, but I don't want to be the jerk type boyfriend."
She rolled her eyes. "Well, thank goodness that I have the stupid type boyfriend instead of the jerk type."
"Hey, I'm not stupid! Don't call me the stupid type boyfriend, sourpuss."
"Sure you're not, swine."
He smiled. "Just try the breakfast I made for you. There ain't many boyfriends that make breakfast for their girlfriends."
"And there aren't many boyfriends that call their girlfriends a sourpuss."
"Hey, I only call ya that 'cause you make that sour face all the time. And you call me swine all the time." He picked up his fork and started eating his pancake.
She stabbed the breakfast he made for her with her fork. "That's because you are a swine… swine."
He put more of his pancake in his mouth. "I…. am… not… a… swine."
"Why are you talking with food in your mouth?" She frowned. "I thought I discussed proper table manners with you."
He swallowed his food. "Dude, if you actually tried my epic pancakeness then you wouldn't care about all that table manner crap."
She looked at the pancake piece she stabbed onto her fork. "I really don't see how this could possibly be edible."
"Sourpuss, my pancake creations are beyond edible."
She twirled her fork in her had. "Well it certainly looks beyond something."
"Just try it, sourpuss."
Before she could say anything else to insult her boyfriend's pancake creation the doorbell rang.
"That was the doorbell. Go check the door, swine."
Her boyfriend set his fork down and stood up from the table. "You better not throw away the breakfast I made for ya while I'm away from the kitchen."
She set her fork down. "Oh, I could never do that. Making breakfast was such a chivalrous gesture for you."
"Why do you sound sarcastic?"
"Since when are you able to read the atmosphere?"
He pushed in his chair. "Dude, I still not able to read that. Why does everybody want me to read that so badly? And why can't anybody just buy the stupid book for me? I can't find that book off Amazon or anything."
She smirked. "Just go get the door, swine."
He left the kitchen and went to the living room where he opened the front door and laughed so hard that she could hear it from the other room.
"What's going on over there?"
He chuckled again. "Belarus, things are great! My bro pasta man is here with that pizza I ordered for us yesterday!"
Their visitor laughed too. "Hi, Belarus! I'm sorry that I was late with the delivery going from my home to New York takes some time! Also I had to argue with the airport to get them to allow me to bring pizza on the plane!"
"I have no idea what you two are talking about!" Belarus frowned. "And can you both come to the kitchen to talk with me! I don't like calling back in front between rooms. My jerk boyfriend has forbidden me to leave the kitchen table unless I clean my plate!"
"That's not true!"
She laughed. "I'm just joking and come to the kitchen for we're not calling back and forth like this!"
"Okie Dokie!"
Her boyfriend and his friend left the living room and went back to the kitchen.
Her boyfriend's friend smiled at her when he saw her. "Hi, Belarus!"
"Hello Italy, what brings you to my swine's apartment?"
Italy smiled and held up the box of pizza he was carrying. "I'm here to delivery a pizza! Yesterday, Mr. America called me asking me to delivery a pizza!"
Belarus turned to her boyfriend. "America, why would you order a pizza from Italy all the way in Europe when we're in North America?"
America grinned. "Pizza is a food that has to be made from the heart to taste like a slice of heaven. I called Italy 'cause he knows pizza better than anybody and has a lot of heart. He could like be that kid with the heart ring on Captain Planet if he wanted too-"
"Really?" Their guest brightened. "That's such a nice thing of you to say!"
"You're welcome! Anyway, I called Italy to bring us pizza-"
"Didn't you also call Papa Johns?"
He nodded. "Yeah, I called those dudes when I realized that Italy will take forever to bring us pizza." He turned to their guest. "I'm not saying that I like their pizza better, bro, I'm just saying that I got tired of waiting. I like your pizza the best 'cause its like all Italian and stuff."
Italy brushed. "Ah, thanks Mr. America. You always say such nice things when your aware of what you're saying."
"Yeah, only when he's aware of what he's saying."
He frowned. "Hey, what's that supposed to mean?"
"It means that you don't know how to read the atmosphere, swine."
"I told you that book is impossible to find on Amazon!"
America's friend laughed. "I can't find that book anywhere either."
She rolled her eyes. "No wonder you two are friends. You two have a number of things in common."
America giggled and took the box of pizza from his friend. "Like a love for pizza!"
"I love pizza!"
He opened the box of pizza. "Wow, this pizza is a beautiful. I bet if it was a lady it would be sexier than my sourpuss."
"Hey!"
Italy laughed. "I have to ask, how did you two start dating? You guys have nothing in common." He turned to look at Belarus. "And I thought you were holding out for your big brother Russia."
Belarus sighed. "I was but my swine here was so insistent that I go out with him. Just like he's so insistent that I try these M&M pancakes he made for me."
America closed the pizza box. "Hey, there's more to the story than that! And just try my pancake creations already. You're going to love them!"
She picked up her fork. "I seriously doubt that."
"Do you mind telling me the whole story? I just love hearing a good love story. Love makes the world go round."
"Oh, sourpuss hasn't used the L-word yet."
Belarus set her fork down. "Neither have you, swine."
"When you guys use that word you should have a big party! With pasta, and pizza, and beautiful ladies, and-"
He cut his friend off. "Sounds cool dude. But, that might be some time. I never use the L-word first. I like to let the babes use it first."
She raised an eyebrow. "Just how many babes have told you that they loved you?"
"Not a lot, sourpuss. Your face can lose some sour. Babes just yell out 'I love ya Mr. America!' whenever I have a press conference or go to Comic Con or go to some place my boss drags me too. And I always yell back 'I love you too random babe'."
"Really?"
"Hell yeah really. Just eat your M&M pancakes!"
Belarus picked up her fork again. "Meh… okay."
"Dude, Italy, I'm going to put this pizza in the fridge for lunch later. I would open it up now, but it would be rude to eat in front of sourpuss. And if I did offer her some pizza, then it would ruin her breakfast." America opened the fridge and put the pizza in it and then closed it. "She doesn't have the epic stomach capacity I have."
"Okay."
"I'm glad you remember something about that conversation about table manner we had, swine."
"Of course I remembered." He laughed and turned to his guest. "Hey Italy, would you like a seat? I can fix ya up some M&M pancakes if you want."
Italy took a seat. "I ate breakfast already. Sorry about that Mr. America. I would have liked to have tried your pancake breakfast." He paused. "Uh… isn't what's his face… uh… Canada or something the pancake person?"
America laughed. "He's actually just the maple guy. Anybody can make pancakes. I think I'm better at pancake making than Canada."
"Oh, okay."
"You sure that you don't want any pancakes? I make the best ones 'cause I put M&M's in them."
"That's debatable."
"Hey sourpuss, you don't know what you're talking about 'cause you haven't tried them yet."
Italy laughed. "How did you two ever start going out anyway?"
"I told you already, the swine kept bothering me until I agreed to go out with him."
America sat back down at the table. "That's not the full story. The full story tells how awesome I am and stuff. Want to hear it, bro?"
His friend smiled. "I'd love to hear a good love-" he cut himself off "-uh romantic story."
"Well, then get ready to have your mind blow with this breathtaking tale. Begin epic flashback!"
"Oh dear goodness!"
a/n
Chapter two is going to be the epic flashback.
If your OCD notices any grammar mistakes, then please don't hesitate to tell me. I promise that I'll do my best to correct any of the mistakes pointed out in the grammar department.
