Keira: The Axe Murderer

Description: After the events of Jak 3 and such, a bunch of random things start to happen to the civilians of Haven City (A.K.A. characters from the Jak series.) Jak doesn't care... as usual. Daxter is too scared. And Keira decides to get back on the people who've taken advantage of her life.

Disclaimer: Um... I don't own anything from Naughty Dog. I do own this story...

Killing One: Jak

One faithful day, in the funky, whore-filled, sewage-smell-alike, run-of-the-mill, horrible to live in, and just a plain bad place, Haven city, Jak decided he didn't like saving the world.

Gemster: Which to be honest, I doubt that he ever wanted to.

"Okay, I quit." Jak said and walked out. Torn started to cry, not because he just lost his lover, but because he stubbed his toe on the table he was standing near. Keira blew her nose on Daxter, who reacted by stealing Sig's Peacemaker, (Sig: OMG! NOO!) and shot Sig with it. The force of the gun sent Daxter flying back to Sandover.

Sig, crawled over to his gun, which Daxter had obviously dropped on his way out, and stroked it slowly muttering, "It's not your fault baby... it's... mine..." Torn acted like nothing of interest just happened, so he just continued to doodle on the important documents.

Of course, Sig owns too much just to die like that, so he randomly came back to life, (Yeah, he DID die.. but he's back now.) "Dammit, when I get my hands on that chilly pepper, he shall pay dearly!" Keira stopped crying, then decided to go look for Jak.

Meanwhile, in Sandover...

"OMG! What the hell am I doing back here?!" Daxter yelled loud enough so the whole village could hear. Although all of the Ottsels you saw in the game could in fact talk, a talking Ottsel was actually quite a rare site. The villagers gathered around Daxter and began to do random things to him like: play dress up, force him to do their chores, make him tap dance, (Daxter despises tap dancing,) make him say the alphabet backwards, (which to be honest isn't as hard as you'd think,) and finally... make him watch Walker, Texas Ranger all day.

Gemster: Is it just me? Or was that list of random things getting better and better?

Luckily for Daxter, he was a precursor and so he could teleport through time, which is exactly what he did. "Whoohoo! I'm back! Back to the funky, whore-filled, sewage-smell-alike, run-of-the-mill, horrible to live in, and just a plain bad place, Haven city!"

Somewhere random...

Jak walked down the random streets of Haven, as he pondered to himself. "I wonder what the square root of pie is when there's only one piece left... mmmmm.. pie..." Quite the intelligent thought, indeed. Suddenly, Keira saw Jak.

See Jak run.

See Jak hide.

See Jak crap himself (Oh gawd no!)

See Jak cry. (Omg? He cries?)

See Jak get found by Keira.

There's a lot more to it.. but you know... I think I'll skip the long random list of things you'd never see Jak do, (except get found by Keira,) and save it more another random time.

"Jak, I've been looking for you all over Haven!" Samos shouted.

Gemster: Wait, wasn't it Keira who just found him?

Samos: I just followed my nose.

Gemster: Oh are you sure it didn't have anything to do with the tracking device you planted on Keira?

Samos: WHAT... are you talking about? -short giggle- I could... umm never do such a thing to my own daughter.

Keira: Hey, what's this bleeping, flashy thing I just found on my arm?

Gemster: Can we get BACK to the story?

"Listen Jak, the city needs you!" Samos shouted. "Not as much as I need him!" Keira argued. Suddenly Daxter came out of no where and laughed. Of course, Sig found Daxter by smelling the make-up that the Sandover villagers put all over Daxter. So, in a matter of seconds, Sig was once again, chasing after Daxter.

"So... why does that city need me?" Jak asked.

"Umm... because... it just does?" Samos replied.

"Oh good enough for me..." Jak smiled. Jak walked over the the group which now consisted of three people: Jak, Keira, and Samos. (Not in any paticular order, of course.)

Suddenly, Samos turned red and used his sage-like magic to do something beyond even my control, making the text appear as 'Samos, Keira, and the other guy with the goatee.'

"That's more like it," Samos said smiling.

"I want pizza" Jak complained. The group went to go get pizza. Finally, Samos began to explain a bunch of random events which probably won't even happen.

Jak: Honestly, is "random" your favorite word?

Gemster: Who... what.. where?! Oh.. Umm.. what?

Jak: -Flicks Gemster off-

Gemster: I'm THE author, you do realize, I can make your worst nightmares come true!

Jak: Oh yeah? I dare you!

Jak's pizza suddenly disappeared. "DAMMT!" Jak shouted, transforming into DJ, (Dark Jak,) he made quick work of the people who worked at the place that the group was eating at. Then a famous saying popped into Samos head. "Never bite the hand that feeds you, Jak." But no one cared about Samos.

Samos left in tears.

Keira picked off another tracking device located on her back.

Gemster: Happy now?

Jak: Umm... no.

Gemster: Good.

"Ya' know, I think my father cares about me... a little too much," Keira said as she picked off a thrid tracking device off her shoulder. "We ought to kill Samos for fun," Jak recommended. Keira thought about it, then deciding that she wouldn't have it. "Besides... I've already arranged for someone elses death."

"Who's?"

"Yours!"

Jak was confused. But of course, Jak took it as a random joke so he decided to laugh along. By unknown to him, Keira was in the process of sharpening her axe. Jak continued to laugh like there wasn't a care in the world. Keira took a random civilian aside to make sure her axe worked. (Umm.. of course it works?) She then proceeded to kill Jak, the boy she knew her whole life.

Jak turned around just in time to see the big axe being swung over Keira's small head. "Ohh... you were serious!" Jak laughed then fell to the ground.. silent.

"That's one down... several to go. But don't worry my dear ex-boy friend, I really am considering your advice to put my father to sleep."

Gemster: Whoa.. she's just pure evil!

Jak: OMG! I died in the freaking first chapter! How gay is that?!

Gemster: Maybe I should recruit her for my gang of really evil people?

Jak: HELLO! I DIED!

Gemster: Well.. can't do much about that... luckily you are the main character, and as such... you cannot ACTUALLY die.

Jak: Good point. -Ressurects self- Now to go warn that old dirt bag, Samos!

Gemster: Now that Jak is gone, I can give you the previews to the next chapter... coughTornscough next..