Ugly Sweater Shopping Time.

Karkat regretted this more than anything. At least his moirail, Kanaya, wasn't there or she would slice up all the sweaters, with her chainsaw.

Yep, apparently humans have this time of year, where they celebrate something called Gristmas, and it deals with their god called Jegus. Of course the trolls, messed something up in the game, and now were living peacefully on earth. They were barely getting used to human culture, some faster than others.

Karkat though was with Dave, John, Rose and (Name). Jade was hanging out with Tavros, also she didn't feeling like coming. They were heading to the mall, to get some sweaters. (Name) wasn't really a sweater kind of person, but came for the laughs, of what Dave would wear. Karkat had been forced to choose sweaters for the trolls, since Christmas was not that far away. Actually it was tomorrow.

Here they were, strolling around the mall, going into different clothing stores. "Why the fuck did I have to come?"

Dave looked at him."Because no one else wanted to go."

(Name) spoke up,"I thought it was because if he gets stabbed or shot, he will bleed red blood, so people would think he was just a human, but had this weird fad going on."

"That was the other reason." Dave said, as they walked in to another shop. Karkat hesitated entering the store. Instead , (Name), grabbed his hand and forced him to come in.

Dave started to browse around, as did Rose and John. As for (Name) and Karkat, they looked at the sweaters. Some with horrible designs, some that were plain, and some that looked decent.

Then a red sweater was right in front of them. "Hey Kar, guess who I am." She put the fluffy red sweater on. "Do you know how highly triggering, it is to do anything. It was a offensive, you were offensive, she was offended, he was offended. This sweater was offended, Rose was offended, Dave was offended. I was completely offended. See how offensive everything is. Everything is triggers and triggers, I'm a trigger. The trigger is stupid, just like the person who made them. I might be very offensive, for always interrupting someone, and complain about triggers. I like to talk and talk, because I'm an offensive trigger and-"

"S-STOP"

Karkat practically yelled. He held his stomach and tears were in his eyes. Was he...?

Yes he was, he was laughing. Was he even capable of doing that?

"Um, Kar?Are you alright?" She looked perplexed. His laughter started to die,as it did he looked at her, "What?Never seen someone laughed before?" he sounded mean, but he tried to make it less sarcastic.

"Well not you..." She mumbled as she took the Kankri look-alike sweater off.

There was silence, until Dave came in and broke the ice. "Hey lovebirds, are you done picking out matching sweaters?"

"No. We are just browsing, fuckass." He spat, getting annoyed. Dave just shrugged it off and walked away. "Hey, you're going to help me with this stupid shopping."

"Oh!Uh, sure. Well we should start with Aradia?"They looked at countless sweaters, but found one with that was a burgundy with a small little ram on the side. Then after that they continued with the trolls, but stopped after they've reached Kanaya.

"Maybe we should let Rose pick out Kanaya's sweater.."Karkat said.

"Ditto." She replied.

Then after what seemed like countless browsing for the other trolls, they were finished. They paid for the sweaters, and left. Karkat and (Name) bought only plain sweaters, Karkat's was green and it had a snowman on it, and (Name) was (f/c) sweater with some Christmas-y stuff.

~Tomorrow~

Karkat and (Name) were sitting on the couch, watching as it snowed. "So it has, never snowed in Alternia before?"

"No."

His green sweater was really big and fluffy, probably could fit two people. All the trolls were having fun, enjoying the holiday, except for Kanaya. She was knocked out, so no one would be set on fire. Dave's sweater was rigged LEDS, so it lights up brightly.

It was time to exchange gifts, of course Jade came up with the idea of secret Santa Clause. (Name) got Nepeta, and since she used to draw as a child, (Name) still had some of her old art supplies and books.

(Name) gave her present to Nepeta. Nepeta squealed in joy as she looked at the gift. "Thank you! Thank you so much!You are the greatest furriend ever!I left my tablet on Alternia, but I can still draw!Thank you!Time to claw some ships!"

"Nepeta, I got this too, at the pet store." She extended her hand, and opened it. Her palm reveling cat-nip.

Then it seemed as if (Name) was a god, because Nepeta was hugging her and adoring. Equius came and picked up Nepeta, being careful though.

She turned around to almost bump into Karkat. "Oh man. Sorry Kk. I almost-"

Her lips crashed into his, it was surprising, but deepen as she just gave in. "I give you the gift of, being my fucking Matesprite."

"Oh. Uh. Okay. "

Then they had a full make-out session. Yay.

~Bonus~

"Karkles?"

(Name) said, while looking at her matesprite."Yeah?"

"That wasn't a real present...It was an offer."

"Was it a good offer?"

"Yeah."

"Good."


This was a request. Anyways I don't own you or homestuck, only this fanfic