Alternate ending to season seven episode Fracture, in which Clark decides that Lex is worth trying to help after all. Warning contains graphic description of child sexual abuse, violence, language, and a slash relationship between Lex Luthor and Clark Kent. Also, I think the whole Grant Gabriel thing was really fucking stupid, so I'm completely deleting it from my Smallville universe.
"Are you alright?
All
the sudden you went away.
Are you alright?
I hope you come back
around someday.
Are you alright?
I haven't seen you in a real
long time.
Are you alright?
Could you give me some kind of
sign?
Are you alright?
I looked around me and you were
gone.
Are you alright?
I feel like there must be something
wrong.
Are you alright?
'Cause it seems like you
disappeared.
Are you alright?
'Cause I been feeling a little
scared.
Are you alright," Lucinda Williams.
"I know about the briefcase," I said, stepping into Lex's office at the mansion. Lex's body stiffened at the mentioned of the B-word, and he cringed, involuntarily. I think the worst part of what I had done was that I knew he'd respond this way if I stormed in (frightening him) and dredged up painful memories. I had been trying to think up something smart to say to him, a way to explain what I knew, how I knew it, and everything else, but I knew it needed t happen. I knew I had to come here.
"Sorry, about that Clark; it's like a reflex. I see you and I start defending myself," he snipped, recovering amazingly (again) but the whole time I'd been in there (a full five minutes), he hadn't looked me in the eyes once."
"You were in a coma, from getting shot—so I...we used the machine from Project Intercept, to get me into your head, and find you, help you. What? Why are you shaking your head at me like that?"
"You were just trying to find Lois, and your cousin. I called the farm twice, to tell you that Kara was in Detroit with amnesia. Lana hung up me before I could say a word. You went into my head to find them, not me. If I had been conscious you would of beaten the answer out of me."
"There's still good in you; I saw it. I also saw you playing with toy soldiers, and then your dad burst in, yelling about his briefcase. He dragged you around the room, hit you, and then he hit your mom, and she got mad and yelled at you for not taking the blame for her. Something about Veritas." This time Lex did lift his eyes away from the papers on his desk. I saw the same doe-eyed horrorstruck face from before, and felt like somebody had just hit me, hard in the stomach.
"Snooping around in somebody's private life is generally considered a bad habit. Have any idea what the legal ramifications of being a peeping Tom are? Not that it matters, why would you go digging through my personal memories, especially one so—insignificant."
"Lionel, your father, used to knock you around, hurt you, for basically no reason, and you don't think that had an effect on which you've become?" I felt bad for yelling at him over this, mainly because, for a couple of months after I got out of his head, every time I looked at him, I saw that same five or six-year-old Alexander, and it made me feel like crap to treat a kid like that.
"I'm bigger now, can fight back when I have to. Besides, he's not really much of a threat anymore. So, my father's an asshole, so what? At least my parents didn't completely abandon me."
"My biological parents, and my mom and dad—the Kents, took care of me like I was their own kid! Look, Lex, I get it. You're scared that everybody's gonna hurt you, so when you were little you walled yourself off, to be safe, for protection, but I'm not like Lionel, or any of the other people that hurt you. I mean, I haven't exactly treated you perfectly, but I'm not gonna stop being here. I love you. I will always love you." Lex cringed, again, but it was a lot smaller now. This time when Lex lifted his head to look up at me, I saw that small twinkle in his eyes, like maybe he actually believed it, but then the look was gone, almost as quickly as it came. "I'm sorry."
"What exactly do you want from me, Clark?" he asked, starting to sound annoyed. I watched as he shifted in the chair, his shoulder's still hunched over, and his eyes had the scared look from before.
"What—I love you, and I want us to get back together. I wanna hold you, and love you, and be here for you from now on, for ever and ever and ever, and…I wanna make you happy."
"Don't be stupid," he said, angrily, switching back from almost trusting me to hating me.
"I saw the way he grabbed you, pulling your body right into his waist."
"Clark…"
"His hands stroking your face, touching you in that weird, strange way."
"I am not joking about this."
"The things he said to you, and the way he said them. I couldn't help but…"
"I'm serious, Clark. Stop it!" he ordered, and I could hear his heart beating really quickly, and he was starting to hyperventilate. He was really freaking out, and he wanted me to stop, but I knew I had to do this. We'd never be able to make things work out if we weren't honest, and I wanted us to tell each other everything.
"Tell me what he did to you," I pleaded, placing my hand on top of his, gently. Lex pulled away from my touch. "Sorry. I'm so sorry. What if—what if I told you my secret too? I didn't—I never wanted to lie to you, but I was a scared kid when we met, and I didn't really understand what was happening to me."
"And two years ago? I suppose you were just a scared little boy then too? Or how about when you dumped me? Where you a scared kid on that day? That's a great excuse Clark, but it's total bullshit."
"We both knew things were over between us. It was only a matter of time before things—you're just mad that you didn't get to be the one to end the relationship."
"Go to Hell," he spat, but looked at me like maybe he did want us to get back together as much as I did. "Look, I don't—I spent half my life, God I can't believe I'm even telling you this. I spent half my life being scared to even look at him the wrong way, and the other half trying to forget what he did. I managed to push it into the back of my mind, and if you hadn't—you have no right to come in here and put me through all of this again!"
"I love you, and I never wanted to hurt you in any way. All I ever wanted was for us to be happy, but I guess it just—we, Lex, I didn't mean to…okay, here goes nothing. I'm from another planet, okay?" For a long time, an hour, or two, or three, he just sat there, staring at me, like I had just said…well what I had said was enough to make anyone think I was insane. "My parents died when it exploded, but they sent me here in a ship, that landed during the first meteor shower. I have all these abilities, strength and speed, and I can see through things, heat and set stuff on fire with my eyes, freeze things with my breath. That day on the bridge…you were right. I feel in love with you then, and ever since that day I've been watching over you, trying to come up with a way to explain everything." Lex still sat there, staring at me, and I was pretty sure he didn't believe me. I was even planning to demonstrate my abilities when Alexander appeared again. I mean he didn't physically show up, but it was as if that part of his personality completely took over. "It's okay, Buddy. I'm here." The kid nodded, his eyes turned down to stare at his shoes.
"He was really scary, sometimes," Alexander admitted at last. "I dunno. It always seemed like no matter what I did, he got mad at me. Our house was so big, that he could get into my room and do stuff, without anybody finding out. This one time he came in and started screaming at me, 'cuz I had knocked over his briefcase earlier when I was playing with my toy train. Then he knocked me down, and," he paused, shivering slightly, shaking his head. I jumped up out of my seat, and raced around so I was standing behind his desk.
"Okay, it's alright now. I'm here. Would you mind if I hugged you?" I asked, carefully standing beside him. Alexander nodded, throwing himself at me, as the two of us sank down to the floor beneath the window.
"Sorry, I know I'm not supposeda act like this, but sometimes I can't help it. Stupid, stupid boy, weak and pathetic," he said in such a way that told me he'd heard it from his father.
"You're not weak, or pathetic. You are the strongest person I have ever met. Hey, can you look at me?" I asked, waiting for him to meet my eyes. "Really, you are—it's one of the reasons I love you so much. You're stronger than me." He actually sort of snorted when I said that. "Well you can't beat me up, but you already survived more than I ever could."
"Big deal, I'm alive, but I'm also nuts! He said, "I love you, Lex. My son," today, and I—lost it. He lied to me, right before too. Had to run all the way to my car to yell and cry for like an hour and a half." Then we both sat on the floor, leaning against the wall, with the sun beating down on our backs through the window. Lex smelled slightly of brandy and tears.
"Do you think he really meant it, or was this just another one of his cruel tricks?" I asked, gently running my hand up and down his back. He looked into my eyes for a while, as though I might have the answer, and then shrugged. "If you ever need me to snap his neck or something, I'll do it, okay? Just tell me."
"Then you'd go to jail, and it would be my fault, which would make you hate me again," Lex reminded me. "I should probably say thank you for the offer though."
"You don't have to do that."
"This isn't easy for me, but I am trying. So, either shut up for two seconds while I try and figure this out, or turn around and walk out on me again."
"I didn't want to do that the first time, Lex, but we were fighting all the time, keeping things from each other. You spied on me for years, and lied about pretty much everything."
"I lied? What about your lies? Don't they count, or are you absolved because you're one of the good guys and I'm the evil villain?"
"We both lied, a lot, and that was a huge part of the problem. I mean, I only told Lana—actually I didn't tell her. She sort of figured it out by herself, and then talked to Lionel and he filled in the missing details."
"He knows? You told him before you told me?"
"No! When Jor-el took over your—dad's body, to save my life," he got all my biological father's memories, or some of them, and he came to our house on the night of my election to try and blackmail my dad. Later he used the same information to get close to my mom and now I think they're sleeping together."
"Oh, good, now we really can be brothers," he said in that annoying, but oh so sexy voice. Almost as soon as the thought came to me, I hated myself for forcing that poor, sweet little boy version of Lex and sex into the same sentence. "The briefcase was always his big thing," Lex murmured and I wasn't sure if he was whispering because he knew I could hear it, and was ashamed to say it loudly, or if he was scared and didn't really want to talk about it. "He could say I did something to his briefcase, even if I hadn't, and then if I told him I didn't do anything, dear old dad just calls me a liar, tells me to take my punishment like a man."
"He raped you as a punishment for going through his briefcase?" I asked, but it came out sounding really cruel. Weirdly Lex didn't respond badly to what I'd said. What was even weirder was that he barely responded to it at all.
"No, that came later, at night. He beat the shit out of me, for "messing up" or "going through" his work papers—usually I didn't even do it. He only took me to the hospital if it looked like something was broken really bad. Once, I walked around with a busted wrist for two days, because my mom was sick and nobody else was around that week. Dad didn't—he kept tellin' me to stop whining. When he was done hitting me, I got sent to my room, for the rest of the day. After I was supposed to go to bed, the door—I could always see the knob turn, and the door swing open. This streak of light would come in from the hall. He used to, at least I think he was drinking, 'cuz he smelled like scotch and sweat… He sits down on the edge of the bed. Says, "hey Buddy, listen. About earlier, I," hand on my head, fingers in my hair, he pauses, and puts the other hand on my, in my—inside my PJs. "I over-reacted before, and there was no reason for me to do so. You're a good little guy, aren't you? No, shh, shh. Just relax. I don't want to hurt you. This is okay. It's not bad. I just want to show my boy how deeply I care, just—hey, hey, come here. That's my good boy. Shh, no tears." Then he—he kissed the top of my head one last time before leaving. Whu—what the fuck are you doing. Get off a me," Lex shouted, and yet I knew it was the last thing he wanted.
"No, I'm sorry, but I can't let go. I love you. I—Lex, it's okay. I can protect you now that I know. Right now, you need me to hold you. I—I can relax my grip. I can move so my—so I'm not touching certain parts of you. I can…"
"No," he told me firmly. "You're right. I just. This is a weak moment for me. Nobody's supposed to see this." Lex was furious with me and his dad, and everybody and everything else in the universe, but at the same time he wanted to trust and love me. He had been through so much that the good inside of him had been all but destroyed. Now he wanted to be happy, and loved more than anything else. There was a problem though. Lex had done a lot of horrible things, hurt so many people, screwed up, and his mistakes had cost a lot of innocent people their lives. A lot of people hated Lex—with good reason—and we both knew this was going to be difficult as all Hell. "I'm here, and I won't let anybody hurt you, not now, not ever again."
"I wanna. I want. Clark, this is really fucking difficult, but I am trying. You gotta try too, okay? So don't dick around, screw with, or lie to me. And if you dump me again, Clark I—just don't do it, please."
"I promise, it will never happen again," when I said this, Lex watched me carefully for what seemed like an extraordinarily long time, like he was trying to figure out whether or not he should (could) trust me. Looking at his face, I was hardly able to believe he'd been shot in the head and was all but dead for a whole day. "Are you okay?" I asked, which sounded stupid, but I was hopping he knew what I was trying to get at."
