A/N: An idea that's been rattling around for quite some time. Focuses on Severus Snape, and the actual art of potions making. (As well as some really cool and nearly implausible ingredients). No Pairings. Set in AU fifth year. Why? Because the story focuses on Severus, but I want canon characters in classes and such. And Umbridge would end up taking this story in an entirely different direction than I want it to go. The GENERAL book five plot will stay the same. Just a ditzy DADA prof. instead of Umbridge. Sorry all you Umbridge-lovers! I may have not met any of you yet, but I'm sure that a few exist. I think. Constructive Critisism ALWAYS accepted!

Beta'd by Laughing Cat.


Chapter One

It was unfortunately a normal breakfast in the Great Hall at Hogwarts. Far too many children were eating with their mouths open; far too many Headmasters were pestering an innocent Potions Master to eat some sugary breakfast pastry. Severus pinched the bridge of his nose to suppress a forming headache. He wasn't even sure what on earth that confection was! After refusing the 'treat' for the third or fourth time, Dumbledore took pity on him, and popped it into his own mouth, smiling with far too many twinkles in his eyes for Severus' comfort. It was then that he decided that he was in fact not particularly hungry, and would retire to his dungeon before the third-years would be down for class.

Severus walked briskly through the halls, glaring at nothing in particular. The third-years were not going to have a pleasant class; his headache assured that his temper would remain foul. He sneered at several of the more cheerful pictures, his glare promising that none would dare bid him a 'good morning' or any other ridiculous well wishes of the sort.

An approaching sound of flapping wings caused him to turn around. A bird of some sort (not an owl) was winging towards him, some sort of red letter in its clutches. Severus turned and began walking faster down the hall. He did not need a Howler this early in the morning. If he could keep it within the creatures clutches, at least it wouldn't explode, allowing any early departer from breakfast to overhear another distraught mother complaining of his 'unfair treatment' towards her precious baby girl or boy.

Within a short time, he was entering his cool, dark classroom, where a headache-suppressant was merely one door away. He slammed the door behind him, trapping the falcon outside. He smirked, hearing it flap its wings furiously in order to stay airborne after having its intended path abruptly cut off.

He strode through the classroom, checking to make sure that the current lessons rarer ingredients were placed at the workstations. Then, with a muttered password, he entered his office.

With one swig of the suppressant, Severus was feeling much more agreeable, not that any of his students would notice a difference. Only Dumbledore and Minerva (possibly Filius as well, Severus could never tell how much that man knew) would notice the lessoning of stress-lines around his eyes.

A sharp and consistent tapping interrupted his moment of ache-free pleasure. The bird clearly wanted to deliver that Howler now. Severus reluctantly opened the door with a short non-verbal spell, allowing the bird to soar in. To his surprise, the bird turned out to be a peregrine falcon. He had seen hawks trained to deliver mail, but never a falcon. Perhaps he had angered the wrong family…

As the falcon swooped down and dropped its burden, Severus tensed, expecting the loud shrieks of an offended pure-blood. Instead, he was startled to find a rolled catalogue. His potions periodicals shouldn't have arrived until that Friday. Either Minerva was playing a rather cruel prank on him (Severus paused, he supposed he may have started it with the Kitty Toy Catalogue subscription, but one would think she could retaliate with a more creative idea) or some foolish company thought he would buy their cheaply produced products.

He sat down in his chair (while specifically designed to look uncomfortable and imposing, he had been careful to spell it with the strongest cushioning charms he could muster) and unrolled the catalogue.

"Exotic Potions Ingredients?" Severus snorted. "More than likely another swindler attempting to pass off Copperhead Venom as from a Basilisk." He opened the cover and began to read the introductory instructions.

To ­­­­Severus Snape;

We at Exotic Potions Ingredients are currently running a first-time customer's offer especially for members of the Potion Master's Guild. We will send, free of charge, sample sizes of any two components from our catalogue. If you are satisfied with our products, we hope that you will continue to look to us for your rare potion ingredients."

Sincerely Yours,
Exotic Potions Ingredients

Severus stroked his chin idly. It seemed like a fool-proof offer, though there were many ways that an experienced crook could fake a component. It was certainly worth looking into. After his classes, he would most certainly be checking out their supply.