Summary: Maggie never wanted kids, it's the one and only reason Alex had to let her go. Alex doesn't know what to think when Maggie comes knocking on her door in the early hours of the morning towing a five year old little girl with her.
The Unexpected
Alex Danvers had been through a lot of heart breaks and disappointments in her life. Losing Maggie had been the worst of both. She'd finally thought she'd found true happiness. Found the one person that truly completed her. The person that made getting up every morning and coming home worth it. She'd hoped after a few months the pain would ease, getting up and doing her daily routine would get easier but it hadn't. Each task and every inch of her apartment reminded her of Maggie. She spent most nights lying awake in bed wishing things had been different. She wished that her desire to have kids wasn't so deep. Wished that Maggie would compromise and want to adopt one day but it seemed neither was an option. Being with Maggie had taught her one thing, and that was not to hold back and suffocate what she was feeling, what she wanted. Maggie had always encouraged her to go for what she wanted. She hated that the thing Maggie pushed her on ended up being the reason she'd had to let her go. She couldn't bury her want to be a mother, if there was one thing she'd always been sure of, it was that she was meant to be a mom.
Alex tossed her blankets aside giving up on sleep, it seemed it would be a useless battle tonight. She settled on her couch instead and turned on the television. There was never anything good on but she'd use it as background noise as she stretched out. Her eyes had just closed when a knock sounded at the door. She groaned looking at her watch, four o'clock. She wondered who'd be knocking at this hour. Kara had a key and everyone else knew to call her. She walked to the door slowly and looked thru the peephole. The person behind the door was the last person she'd expected to see. What she'd expected even less was the little person Maggie carried.
"Maggie, what are you doing here," she asked.
"Can I come in," Maggie asked motioning inside with her head. Her arms were getting tired.
Alex nodded. "Of course, sorry, come in." Alex stepped aside allowing Maggie in.
"I know it's early, or extremely late and I'm so sorry Alex but I just, I have no idea what I'm doing," Maggie said frantically. She started pacing the room with the little girl still in her arms. "I'm sorry, maybe this was a mistake, I should go, I'm not thinking straight, I haven't had a decent night's sleep in weeks and I just, I needed to come see you while I still had the nerve."
"Hey, hey, take a deep breath." Alex stepped in front of Maggie putting a stop to the pacing. "First, how about you put her down in my bed, I'm sure she's not getting any lighter." She smiled.
Maggie nodded gratefully. She'd forgotten how tired her arms were. "Okay." She moved through Alex's apartment taking the familiar path to her bed. She'd really missed being in this apartment. She'd always found the place comforting. She laid the girl down in the center of the bed and covered her up. She brushed the hair out of her face and smiled down at her. She was glad she'd remained asleep through the trip. She wasn't the only one who'd had very little sleep in the past few weeks. She'd wanted to come see Alex for days now but she couldn't bring herself to. She'd been too scared, not knowing what to say or how Alex would take the news she was about to drop on her. All she knew is that she was not equipped to be a mother, but Alex, Alex was born for this. She finally stood up and went to have the talk Alex was expecting. "Hi," she said nervously.
"Let's sit." Alex moved to the couch handing Maggie a glass of wine. She wasn't sure what Maggie had to tell her but by the looks of it they'd both need the alcohol.
"Thanks." She smiled taking a long sip of the offered drink. "Couldn't sleep," she asked. She'd seen the state Alex's bed was in and that usually meant Alex was having trouble sleeping.
Alex shook her head in the negative. "You," she asked. It was obvious Maggie wasn't sleeping, why else would she be at her apartment in the early hours of the day.
Maggie put her empty glass down and slouched into the couch. "Is it that obvious," she asked. She continued when Alex shrugged. "I don't know what I'm doing Alex, I'm in over my head."
"Why don't you start from the beginning." She encouraged. It took everything in Alex to keep from reaching out and taking Maggie into her arms. She hated seeing her like this. "Who's the little girl," she asked.
Maggie sighed. "Her name is Allie. Her family was killed a few weeks ago. I'm the only one she's allowed near her since the incident. Social services took her for a few days but she cried until she made herself sick. She wouldn't eat, wouldn't sleep, so they asked me to take her. It took a few more days for the paperwork to go through but they were able to speed up the process what with me being a cop."
Alex looked back at her bed where the girl in question was sleeping peacefully. "How did her family die," she asked.
Maggie shook her head remembering the scene they'd walked in on. It had been a horrific. They'd found Allie hiding in her parents closet. They'd followed the small bloodied footprints to their hiding location. Maggie's eyes filled with tears. "Home invasion."
"Did she," Alex asked motioned towards her bed.
Maggie nodded. "Her footprints were what led us to her hiding place." She paused taking a deep breath. "It was awful Alex." A single tear fell, it was taking everything in her not to break down completely. "Her stay with me was only supposed to be temporary, I was going to hold onto her until they found her a home. Someone who could help her."
Alex sat back and listened. She wasn't sure where Maggie was going with her story. She wasn't sure what Maggie needed.
"She's been through so much, they tried taking her again and she wouldn't have it. She threw the biggest fit I've ever seen and the family that was supposed to take her immediately backed out. They said they couldn't have a child that was that troubled." The tears she'd been holding back fell quickly. "Like it was her fault she was like this." Maggie had been pissed by their reaction. She'd taken Allie in her arms and soothed her telling social services to do better with the next family.
A piece of Alex's heart broke further. She hated seeing Maggie suffering like this. She could tell her heart was torn. If she'd wanted kids the decision would have been easy. She was sure Maggie would've kept the girl without a second thought.
"Alex I don't know what to do. I'm no good for her. I just." She sniffled. "I know she'd be better off with someone else, someone who knows what they're doing, someone who wants kids, someone like you." She paused taking a deep breath in to calm her nerves. "They found her a family, but Alex I don't think I can let her go." Maggie's hands rested in her lap, her head bowed down as she cried.
Whatever it was Alex had been expecting her to say, this was not it. Never in a million years did she think she and Maggie would be having a conversation about children. Especially not one where Maggie was crying over having one taken away. "Why don't you get some sleep, you're tired. You'll think more clearly in the morning. We can talk then." Alex wanted time to process and that wasn't going to happen objectively with Maggie sitting beside her and in tears.
Maggie nodded. "I don't want to let her go Alex." She knew it wasn't because she was tired. She'd grown attached to Allie and Allie to her.
"We can talk about it in the morning, with clear heads."
Again Maggie nodded. "Thanks Alex." She leaned over and hugged her. It felt like old times. She'd missed being in Alex's arms. She inhaled her ex's scent remembering how it always calmed her.
Alex gave her a final squeeze before pulling away. "Come on, I'll get you some clothes and you can have my bed." She pulled Maggie with her to her dresser. Once Maggie was changed and settled in the bed Alex tucked her in and kissed her head. "Get some rest, we'll figure it out in the morning."
Maggie nodded eyes already closed. It didn't take long for her to fall asleep surrounded by the scents of Alex and Allie.
Alex covered Allie and took a minute to observe the two. In her sleep Allie sensed Maggie's presence and gravitated towards her. Maggie pulled her close without hesitation. Alex couldn't believe it. Whether Maggie was aware of it or not her maternal instincts had already kicked in. Alex took one last look at them before getting comfortable on the couch. She didn't think sleep would come but she knew she needed to try. It was going to be a long day and she'd need all the rest she could get.
She'd felt like she'd just closed her eyes when she heard movement near the couch. She opened one eye and peaked around the room. She smiled at the tiny figure that stood at the end of the couch. "Hello," she whispered. "Is everything okay," she asked, sitting up but not moving any closer.
The little girl shook her head her brown curls bouncing.
Alex smiled. She was adorable. She couldn't be more than four or five years old with olive colored skin and hazel eyes. She inched closer to her. "Looks like Maggie is going to be asleep for a while." It was still early. Alex wished she too was asleep. "You hungry," she asked.
Allie looked between Alex and where Maggie was, asleep. She nodded.
Alex smiled. "Okay, let's get some food." She extended her hand out, she wasn't sure she'd take it but figured it was worth a try.
Allie hesitated for a second, once again glancing in the direction where Maggie was resting. She figured if Maggie trusted her enough to sleep then she could too. She took Alex's hand and followed her to the kitchen.
"I don't have a lot of options. My sister, Kara, was here yesterday and she ate almost all of my food." Alex was please at the smile she received. "But I think I have everything I need for pancakes, how do pancakes sound," she asked.
"Yummy." She smiled.
"Alright, why don't you sit here and keep me company while I make us some breakfast." She picked Allie up and sat her down on the countertop and began gathering the necessary ingredients for pancakes. "What's your name," Alex asked even though she already knew. She needed a conversation starter. Allie once again looked back to where Maggie was. Alex smiled at this. Maggie was her security blanket. She was amazed that all the girl needed was to know that she was in the room. She could already see how brave and strong she was. She was sure with the right people in her life she'd be just fine.
"Allie, well Alexandra but my mommy was the only one that called me that. Especially when I was in trouble." She smiled sadly eyes filling with tears.
Alex had not intended on making her cry. "You wanna know something," she asked in hopes of cheering Allie up. Once Allie nodded she continued. "My name is Alexandra too, my friends call me Alex. My mom calls me Alexandra when I'm in trouble too. It happened a lot. Still happens. It's super embarrassing when she does it in front of my friends." She was relieved when Allie giggled.
They chatted about things Allie liked to do and other things they had in common, like their love for ice cream, creepy movies, and science. Once breakfast was cooked the duo sat in front of the television with the nightmare before Christmas playing on low volume. Alex wasn't sure when it happened but at some point through the movie Allie had found her way into her lap. Alex made sure not to make a big deal of it. She gently wrapped a blanket around them and continued to watch quietly. It wasn't long before Allie was asleep with Alex's arms wrapped around her.
"I'm sorry."
Alex looked up having been snuck up on. She looked at Maggie questioningly.
"You were right." She said not helping Alex's confusion in the bit.
"About what," Alex asked.
Maggie waved her hand around motioning the scene before her. "This, I'm sorry that I ever thought that you should give that up for me. You were right about being a mom being something you were meant to be. I see it now. I wish I'd seen it before."
Alex didn't know what to say. So she stayed silent.
"Alex you know I've never wanted kids, I don't know if I'll be any good at it." She sat down beside the pair.
"Her name is Alexandra." Alex hadn't known what to think when Allie had said her full name.
Maggie nodded. Eyes welling up with tears once again. "It's why I couldn't let her go. Why I grew attached to her in the first place. I'd lost one Alexandra because of my fears of becoming a mother. I wasn't ready to let it happen again."
"What're you saying." Alex didn't want to get her hopes up. The ball was in Maggie's court, it always had been.
"I miss you. The last few months have been miserable. I want you back in my life. Well, in our lives. Like I said, I can't give her up, she's been through so much. I can't imagine anyone being able to protect her like we can. What do you say Danvers," she asked with that smile that Alex loved so much. "Will you take me and my plus one."
Alex couldn't believe what was happening. Just hours ago she'd been too sad to sleep because she was missing Maggie so much and here she was now being given everything she'd dreamed of. "What about the family they have for her," she asked worried that her happy moment would shatter at any moment.
"They were back up. I have to decide today what I want to do. Which is why I showed up at your place at zero dark thirty freaking out. I understand if you're worried this too good to be true or that I changed my mind about having kids so quickly, but Alex I've never felt more sure about something. We'll take things as slow as you want."
"Maggie," Allie mumbled waking up.
"I'm here sweetheart." She patted Allie's leg.
Allie extended her arms out to Maggie.
"Hey kiddo. Did you sleep well," she asked cuddling the five year old.
Allie yawned and nodded. "No bad dreams."
"That's great monkey. I'm so happy to hear that." She squeezed the little girl glad she'd been able to get some sleep.
"Did you know her name is Alexandra too and her mommy calls her that when she's in trouble," Allie asked when she remembered Alex was sitting with them.
"You know what," Maggie asked.
Allie shook her head.
"I call her Alexandra when she's in trouble too." Maggie joked.
Allie giggled. "Cause she's your girlfriend," she asked. She remembered her mom always calling her dad by his full name when he did something wrong.
Maggie looked at Alex, her eyes asking if she'd made a decision. She smiled wildly when Alex nodded. She reached across and took her hand. "Yeah, because she's my girlfriend. Is that okay," she asked.
Allie nodded. "Mommy always said love is love and we should love whoever we want and Alex makes yummy pancakes."
AN: I thought I'd try my hand at a Sanvers story. I hope you enjoyed it.
