A/N: Enjolras and Grantaire's breakup from "To Capture You Image As Well As Your Heart" from Combeferre's perspective. This references chapter 21 from the main story. In this we get to see a bit more of what Enjolras was experiencing during the breakup. It's probably advisable that you read the main story first.
"Heartless"
Enjolras hadn't slept the night after he had told Grantaire about the New York job. Combeferre woke up at 9:00 a.m., as he always did on weekends, and found Enjolras on the couch, in the same position he had been in, when Combeferre had gone to sleep.
"E?" Combeferre placed a hand on his friend's shoulder.
"He hasn't answered any of my calls…" The blond whispered, his voice rough. Combeferre could just see hints of red lining Enjolras's eyes.
"Ah…" Combeferre wasn't entirely sure what he should say, so he went to the kitchen to make breakfast.
Later, he returned with cereal for himself and a plate of eggs for Enjolras. Enjolras was staring into space. On the coffee table in front of him, there was a piece of notebook paper. Setting the eggs down, he scanned it.
Apologies…confessions…and a goodbye…
"Will you take it to 'Aire?" Enjolras's voice was controlled, but he could hear the waver under it.
Combeferre shook his head. "I don't think it's a good idea."
"He isn't picking up, and I should do this."
"Do you feel good about this choice at all?"
"Should I?"
"If you're doing the right thing, you should at least have some comfort from that…" He attempted.
"Sometimes doing the right thing still isn't enough to make me feel better." Enjolras murmured.
Combeferre's eyes went wide. It always was before…
"Enjolras, please–"
"Please, take the letter to him. I can't." Enjolras laced his fingers so tightly that his knuckles turned white.
"I–"
"Please."
Combferre could see Enjolras forcing his breaths to remain even. With a sharp exhale, he picked up the letter. "If you really want me to…fine."
When he reached the door, Enjolras stopped him, "'Ferre?"
"Yes?" He turned to him. STOP ME!
"Have you thought about your New York offer?" He was still looking straight ahead. His voice sounded impossibly small, especially for the man who shouted to invigorate crowds.
He had been weighing different job options, one of which would lead him to follow Enjolras to New York. It had been amongst the top contenders, but he wasn't sure about leaving the District for more personal reasons. "I have…"
"Is it still a possibility?"
"It…might be."
"Let me know, will you?"
"Of course." He continued to stare at Enjolras, who didn't move. Deciding it was a moot point, Combeferre left the room.
He rapped his knuckled against the door of Grantaire's apartment. Eponine looked a bit distraught as she answered the door, but her face softened upon seen Combeferre. "'Ferre, babe, what's up?"
I don't know how to stop this… "Where's Grantaire?" He asked, pressing his lips into a grim line.
Grantaire appeared from the kitchen. "Here." The man's attempted confidence was undermined by the light tremor in his voice, and the fact that he looked very tired.
"This is from E." As he handed Grantaire the note, he could smell a very light trace of alcohol on him. He wasn't drunk, but it was there, and that worried Combeferre greatly.
"What is–" Eponine started to speak, but Combeferre took her hand. He led her outside.
"What's going on?" She asked, as they stepped onto the top landing of the stairs, the door shutting lightly behind them. "What is that paper?"
"It's E's break-up note."
"What? Holy shit–no." She stepped towards the door, but he grasped her hand again, "What?"
"Not yet."
"This is going to break 'Taire's heart, 'Ferre." She snapped.
"It's already broken Enjolras's."
"Then why is he doing it?" She said, disbelieving.
"He thinks it's for the best." He shrugged, resigned.
"Bullshit, Grantaire has been sobbing all night."
"So, has E."
"Then, why…" She whimpered.
"Because, he's too stupid to realize how much he needs another person, and he wants to try to save Grantaire the pain of a break-up later on." After a long moment of silence, Combeferre announced quietly, "I'm going to New York, too."
"What?"
"I've had an offer, and I was considering it, but now, I think I have to take it. Without Grantaire, E's going to be lost. He'll need me."
Eponine looked carefully into his eyes, "So, you're breaking-up with me, too?"
"Only, if you want…Eponine, I want to try to keep this." He took her hands in his, "I mean it. I don't think either of us are in a permanent situation, now, and I think the future will bring us together again…until then, I'd be willing to try the long distance thing, if you are."
"I…you think we could make it?"
"I'd really like to hope that."
A small smile crossed her lips, and she looked up at him. She rose up on her toes, as he bent down to kiss her.
"Okay, let's try it."
They stepped inside, with his hand on her lower back.
As they did, Combeferre saw Grantaire. The photographer's hands were shaking. In a moment, tears poured down his face, and his breathing became extremely erratic. He sat on the coffee table, unable to even move to the couch.
Grantaire's drinking again. He's breaking down…and you're not even happy. Enjolras…
"Jesus Christ…this isn't right." Combeferre stormed away. He needed to stop his idiot roommate.
When Combeferre got back from Grantaire's apartment, he burst through the door to see Enjolras on the couch, bent over a textbook, but clearly not reading. Tear tracks marked his face. His point of focus didn't move, and Enjolras was a frighteningly fast reader.
"E, you're making the worst possible mistake that you could in this situation." He stated.
Enjolras slowly looked at him. "Am I?"
He had to roll his eyes. "Yes!"
"What would you have me do?" His voice was a wrecked whisper, and tears started to leak from his eyes once more.
"Go after him! Get him back!" Combeferre shouted.
"He wouldn't take me." His voice remained low.
"E, you didn't see him. When he read your note, he fucking collapsed. He would take you back in a heartbeat, if he thought you wanted it."
"And, then what 'Ferre?" Enjolras cried, "Suppose he does take me back! What happens in May, when I have to leave? Do I just break his heart again? Am I really that cruel?"
"No–"
"Because, I wonder. I wonder sometimes, if I really am just heartless. Maybe, I just shouldn't be in relationships, because I'm destined to ruin them, neglect them. Even, when I know I love him so much, I just–" He choked on his words, burying his face in his hands and crying.
"Oh, jeez, E, come on." Combeferre sat beside his friend, wrapping his arms around the revolutionary. Enjolras sobbed into his shoulder for several minutes, before Combeferre continued, "Enjolras, you cannot actually believe that you're heartless. You wouldn't care about things half so much, if you were."
"I don't know." He spoke in starts, "I care about ideas, and I want to help…but I lose sight of people, individuals…"
"You do," Combeferre admitted. "But, that doesn't make you heartless."
Slowly Enjolras's breathing evened, and he puled back, curling up and wrapping his arms around his knees. His eyes looked so empty.
"E, look at yourself…if you stayed with Grantaire, do you seriously think you'd leave him in a couple months."
"What other choice would there be?"
"I think you'd ask him to join you."
A hopeless half-smile formed on Enjolras's mouth. "Even if that were true, he wouldn't agree…He hates New York. He said that himself. He wouldn't even visit me for Christmas."
"I think you underestimate what Grantaire would do for you."
"I don't. But, I don't want to drag him to a city he hates, where he has no prospects, uproot the life he has here, just so he can follow me. I wouldn't want to make him that miserable…I think that would prove that I actually am heartless, don't you?"
"So, to prove that you have a heart, you're set on breaking it?" A small trace of sarcasm entered his tone.
"It'll be better this way. End it fast, like a ripping off a bandage. We'll both heal more quickly." Enjolras stated as resolutely as possible.
"E…" He trailed off, realizing this cause was lost for now. My fucking stubborn best friend…He sighed, as he walked back to his room.
"Better this way"? There have never been words of yours, which I believed less.
A/N: I hope you all liked this. I'll be posting a few stories from other POVs, as well as some sequels, and I think one AU of the story. Any feedback is encouraged.
