Author's Note:
I'm going to keep this short and simple so you can get on with your life, but first of all, this is my first fanfiction (not my first story but still. A milestone to be sure). I'm not going to say so go easy on me because that's ridiculous. I just hope you enjoy~
Disclaimer: Rev!Edd belongs to Asphyxiion, Nat belongs to c2ndy2cid and all canon characters belong to the creators of EEnE
"I swear, I just might fucking choke you." Thin lips tilted smugly in response which just caused another guttural growl.
"Death by asphyxiation. Hot." The teasing lilt in his voice almost got him punched. The suggestive press of his body took almost out of the equation. Eddward grunted slightly at the impact, but nonetheless chuckled at Kevin's frustration. "Why Pumpkin, surely I'm not getting to you, am I?"
He was promptly shoved into the lockers with fingers at his throat and glaring green eyes in his face. "I said stop calling me that!" He held Kevin's heated gaze for a few charged seconds with no lessened amount of smugness before he was released and watching Kevin's angry retreating figure. How very intriguing, he thought with a widening, shark-like grin.
God, that dweeb was so fucking irritating! As he made his way through Peach Creek High, all inanimate objects anywhere near Kevin's path were in danger of being demolished. He even pushed his way past a few students crowded around the door in his haste to get outside to his bike and the hell away from that Double Dickwad. By the time he had finally made it to the parking lot, he could just barely see Eddward strolling out of the school like he owned the place or something. The pure contempt in Kevin's gaze gained him attention though and Edd looked up with a lopsided smirk, blowing him an overly exaggerated kiss. Growling, Kevin gave him a heartfelt middle finger salute before hopping onto his bike and driving off as fast as was legally possible (if not slightly faster).
That damn swim captain. In Kevin's opinion, swimming wasn't even a legitimate sport, but the damn sockhead was always harassing him and making all these damn innuendos and damn it, Kevin was NOT gay. Angrily, he parked his bike in his driveway before storming into the house for the night.
A few hours later, the front door creaked open as the senior Barr entered his home. "Everything okay, K?" His dad smiled slightly at his little joke, looking at his son sprawled on the couch. Kevin gave a noncommittal shrug.
"Same ol', dad. Take out?" He said eyeing the bags in his father's hands. When his father nodded, he sat up to make room next to him on the couch. The TV roared and the two men talked and all was good.
Across the street, one house was completely silent, it's singular inhabitant up in his room, studying in the dim light.
Riding to school the next day reminded him of just how boring all of this was. Same old boring school, same old boring cars, same ol- WHO THE FUCK IS PARKED IN MY SPOT?! Shifting his bike through cars, he parked a row over before getting out and walking over to get a closer look at whichever asshole decided to put their car in his spot. The car's lights flicked off and Kevin groaned in irritation at the booted foot and leather pants he caught a sight of. Of course this ass wipe would park in his spot.
"Salutations, Fire Crotch." Eddward leaned against his door slowly, looking somewhat like a lazy snake. Kevin's eyes narrowed as his irritation rose. It's too early for this and he almost preferred Pumpkin to this new nickname.
"That's my fucking spot, Dickward." This earned him a lopsided smirk as said dick strolled closer. Kevin took a few irritated steps back until he was against the next car, glaring as Edd placed his forearm against the window next to the redhead's face. Neither of them flinched when the car alarm sounded. Eddward's low chuckle drifted over the blaring sound.
With his head dropped to Kevin's ear, Edd murmured, "If that is so, then I find myself more obliged to park there." His smirk widened into a full out, shark-like grin. "I'd park in anything of yours, Pumpkin." The words were accented with a very uncalled for crotch squeeze. Kevin furiously shoved him back by his shoulders, using his bulkier build to get free. Just as he turned to leave the dick behind, he was pulled back by the collar of his jacket and his hat was removed from his head. "Not yet, Pumpkin. First I must extend to you a personal invitation to the swim meet this weekend. I fully expect to see you in attendance." The shit eating grin was still in place. Kevin only yanked his hat out of Edd's hands before pushing his way past him.
As he moved to put his hat back on though, he noticed the white strip across the beak that, in any other circumstance, would seem harmless. "2:30: Don't be late Pumpkin" it said. Kevin growled with surprising force, scaring some nearby freshman, before slamming the hat down on his head and gritting his teeth.
The chatter in the locker rooms carried into the hallway as Kevin approached and he smiled. As he walked in, he bumped a few fists on his way to his locker before, for the second time so far, he felt his hat leave his head. When he turned and saw Nat, he chuckled and raised his hand for a fist bump before realizing what Nat was looking at.
"Don't be late, Pumpkin!" Nat cooed before Kevin could snatch the cap back. So instead, he opted for socking his green haired friend in the shoulder. "Was it that swimmer guy again?" Kevin grunted in frustration but otherwise ignored him. Nat's face only stretched into that unnatural, shit eating grin of his. Kevin kind of wanted to punch it off his face. "Are you gonna go?" He got a kick out of this shit, Kevin just knew it.
"Hell no."
Nat only sniggered and continued to get dressed, tossing the cap over his shoulder at Kevin. Kevin internally made it his goal to make practice brutal today just for him.
By the end of practice, Kevin was more than a little bit sore, but, he thought with a Nat worthy grin, bet he's feeling it harder than I am. He waved sarcastically at Nat on his way to the showers and received a lovely hand gesture in return.
As his shower finished up, the faint smell of chlorine drifted to the shower room entrance from the indoor pools and Kevin rolled his eyes. Like hell he was going to that swim meet! He quickly got dressed, and walked with the still seething Nat to Chemistry, a class he shared, sadly, with Nat, Nazz and… Eddward. Ick.
Nazz looked up from her nail polish as Kevin swung into the desk next to her. She had opened her mouth to say something along the lines of hello, but quickly took notice of the time small white label on Kevin's hat and looked across the room for the beanied head that would've had to be responsible. Upon meeting her gaze, Edd gave her a cold smile then leaned back into his chair, successfully cutting her out of his sight. With that, she rounded on Kevin, who was still getting settled and heartily avoiding a certain section of the room.
"Hey Kev. What's up with the sticker?" She nodded towards his hat with a small smile before she took it and worked on peeling off the sticker for him. Kevin huffed a little and slumped over his desk.
"Double Douche invited me to his swim meet." His words came out as a long mumble and Nazz shook her head, slightly amused. She opened her mouth to respond before Dr. Pierce walked in, heading straight to the board to start notes. She started to lean over to Kevin's desk, intending to give his hat back and ask for paper, but stopped as she saw him glaring heatedly at some intricately folded paper plane on his desk. Or paper fighter jet if you were accurately describing it. As Kevin brooded, Nazz looked up at Eddward again, who seemed as blasé as he ever had. The only sign that he had sent it was the telltale smirk on his face.
"So are you going?" she quirked a brow at the now unfolded paper in Kevin's hands. Kevin didn't answer at first, only stared stubbornly at the paper between his hands. When Nazz craned her neck a little more to get a clearer peak at what it said, Kevin shifted it away a little. She huffed and leaned back, but not before she and Kevin had caught Nat's waning attention. While Kevin was busy blocking from Nazz, Nat reached under his arm and pulled the note a safe distance away and read it to Nazz, trying (and failing in some cases) to avoid Kevin's bruising hands.
"Bonjour, Citrouelle. (before you get confused meathead, it means Pumpkin)," Nat paused to scoff at Kevin, "I expect to see you in the – ow, you fucker, stop punching me – in the chlorine room after school today. There are matters in need of discussing." Nat finished in his best impression of Edd's articulate accent. Kevin snatched the paper back and went back to brooding in silence and pretending to pay attention whenever Dr. Pierce turned around. "There's no fucking way you're going, right?" Nat's whisper was harsh as he spared a quick glare for the swimmer across the room. Kevin just rolled his eyes and sunk lower into his chair.
Nazz's "well, I think you should go" only agitated Nat more. He spent the rest of the lecture arguing with her on why Kevin (who remained determinedly silent) shouldn't go before deciding he'd go too, refusing to listen to anything more on the matter. Honestly, Kevin couldn't even be bothered anymore. He was glaring intently at the black covered head across the room, trying to get his attention. For a second, Edd looked up, raising an eyebrow as a challenge before rolling his eyes and returning to his notes.
With the boy's dismissal, Kevin returned his attention to his friends' conversation. Nat was back to his obnoxious self, draping himself over Nazz's desk overdramatically. Upon noticing he had Kevin's attention again, he sat up and grabbed Kevin's cheek in an over exaggerated fashion, looking him in the eyes in mock seriousness.
"Dude. You have to promise me you'll stay strong." Kevin glared at him, trying to push him off, starting to gain the attention of a few of their classmates. "Don't let that bad boy persona split us up! I love you Kevin!" Nazz and a few nearby students laughed, causing Dr. Pierce to advise the two boys to "save the relationship drama for lunch." Kevin just about turned redder than his hair.
Nazz was the only one observant enough to notice Eddward's strategically blank gaze.
After class, Nat groaned as Kevin made sure to punch him right where he knew he was sore. "You're taking tough love a little too far buddy." He joked as they walked towards their lockers.
Kevin was sure Nat was still talking, hell despite getting pretty decent at tuning him out, he still heard that buzzing sound sometimes. But his attention was completely diverged when he saw the white strip across his locker.
Be there 3
God, when he gets his hands on that fucking dork, nothing was going to stop him from killing him. All their fucking childhood, Kevin was "the bully" in their situation. In fact, their interactions had died down completely during middle school. Kevin barely even remembers running into, or even seeing, the dweeb during those few years. But it was like once high school rolled along, Edd had bucked up out of fucking nowhere with new clothes and a threatening attitude. Kevin remembered a few of the football guys had cornered Edd out in the parking lot freshmen year and just how shocked everyone who knew him was when they heard just how much he beat the shit out of the three jocks. Then it came out that he was on the swim team. Peach Creek High had never seen such a turnout for the first swim meet of the season as they had that year. Everyone showed up to see Eddward and he sure as hell didn't disappoint. Meet after meet, people were talking about that Double D kid and how he'd changed and all that kind of noise. No one was really surprised when he made swim captain the next year. But that's when all the shit started up.
It started small; Eddward would sneer at him as he passed in the locker room, "accidentally" bump shoulders. However, nearing the end of the year, the two had built up a consistent routine of headbutting. These squabbles had even landed them in the principal's office more often than not.
And now this. Be there 3. If that fucker wanted to dance, Kevin would show him just how much of a toe-stomper he could be.
In the background, he could still here Nat prattling on, but he really didn't care. The game was set.
End note: Anyone who wants to give me feedback is definitely more than welcome to do so via reviews, PM's, or whatever really. Even/especially if it's negative (that's part of improving). I'm really not confident in any of this for many reasons, jumpcuts and backstories included (hell it's not even my best writing imo), but I figured there was no better way to get a fanficton you wanted to read than to write it. Plus, my friend is kind of persuasive at times. Thanks for reading!
