Disclaimer: The proud and rightful owner of the Harry Potter series is J.K. Rowling, we're just playing with her dolls in the sand-box.

A/N : One day in a free (or rather this morning) annie2163, Ellen and I got mightily bored…and when we get bored…we write weird stuff…read and find out!

Trelawney: "You are a crazy lady, Mr Potter."

Harry: "I'm not a flipping Transvestite. I leave that to Voldie / Umbitch."

Hermione: "You mean Dolores Umbridge?"

Snape: OBviously… (Everyone else ignores him)

Ron: "God Hermione …why do you always have to be a buzz kill?"

Hermione: First of all, I do not kill bugs, second of all I know how to have fun without using vile language, *cough* Harry Potter *cough*

Trelawney: My dear, I knew that you wouldn't open your mind and let others in. (Wonders off)

Hermione: (Muttering to herself) How rude!

Voldie: Oh, thanks, Sybil, I didn't know it was you who taught Harry to be so crap at Occlumency.

Snape: (quietly) Nope that was all me. (Hermione hears and pinches Snape's nose)

Harry: HEY! That Arthur/snake thing was totally not cool mate!

Voldie: Neither was wetting the bed when you woke up from it.

Ginny: EW! Why'd I marry you?

Harry: Because you're a flipping gold-digger. I only married you because you look like my mum and I'm creepy like that.

James Sr: Get your filthy hands off of my wife.

Snape: Hey bitch, I met her first

James Sr: Why do you exist?

Snape: Because I'm not stupid enough to get killed. Honestly, leaving your wand on the sofa…

Ron: BITCH FIGHT, BITCH FIGHT, BITCH FIGHT!

Harry: KILL HIM SNAPE!

Voldie: Wait, when do I get to kill? (In a whiney voice)

Ron: Dude, you've had enough killings to last you a lifetime

Voldie: Well I think I can fit in one more stupid ginger

Ron: What? Oh… RUN AWAY GINNY!

Ginny: He means you, you twit. Honestly Hermione, what DO you see in him?

Hermione: WELL ATLEAST HE'S NOT AN UNEMOTIONAL ROBOT LIKE YOU (Hermione runs away)

Ron: Is she PMSing?

Harry: Your mum's PMSing

James Sr: not cool dude.

Harry: Shut up! You let mum die. Don't talk to me about what's cool!

James Sr: Well you were no better, you dolt. I know about your types…Black Hair, glasses, brand new robes…you must be a Potter.

Snape: No shite. Apparently idiocy is genetic.

Hermione: Actually it was recently proved through studies on twins….

Everybody: SHUT UP HERMIONE!

Hermione runs away again (crying)

Ron: Oh now look what you did.

Harry: You said it too

Ron: I was being sarcastic

Voldie: Just go already. We don't want another James and Lily love/hate thing going on. I might need you.

Ron: FINE LET'S GO GINNY

Ginny: What? (Ron and Ginny Run away)

Voldie: FINALLY we can have a normal fight now without any miscellaneous characters roaming around.

Harry: Ok I challenge you to a DU-EL! (Throws glove at Voldie)

Voldie: Who the hell is your second? I got Snape.

Harry: Dad, obviously… (But James is hiding under the invisibility cloak and can't be seen)

Harry: DAD! Why are you always such a disappointment to me? Anyways, I'm big enough for the both of you.

*Harry takes up karate position, tries to kick a pillar and ends up dislocating his knee. He hops around on one foot, screaming, knocks into James, is thrown backwards into the Mirror of Erised, and passes out.*

Voldie: Don't pass out yet, idiot, I need to throw a rock at you! I need to feel important. NYUUUUUUH!

(Throws a rock at him anyway, misses and hits James)

Snape: Yes and because rocks are impervious to magic.

Voldie: Oh right, yeah that's what I meant. Let's go. (Snape and Voldie run off laughing)

A/N : Err, yeah…um, review? Please? Just a little one? To tell us what you thought of it?