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MONDAY NOVEMBER 10, 2008
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"So . . . . how was your birthday?' Helen smirks and questions me as soon as I walk into her office on Monday morning. I knew this was coming but I still can't help but blush a little.
I've never been one to kiss and tell, but Helen looks positively giddy at the chance for some girl talk. I'd prefer to wait until we're alone in the Residence, but I've discovered that a little bit of friendly conversation goes a long way towards Helen's overall happiness with her lot in life.
I won't go into great detail obviously, but I can dish a little.
"It was so romantic! He took me to the Ritz. We had room service and massages and bubble baths. Almost 24 uninterupted hours of togetherness. It was incredible."
Helen gets a little frown. "I though you were staying 2 nights? Did something happen with Lulu?"
"No, we just missed her. Our lives are hetic. It feels like we don't spend enough time with her as it is. One night away was enough."
Helen smiles gently at me. "I remember what it was like when Peter and Miranda were small. I'd desperately want a break, but around the second or third day, I'd miss them so much, I just wanted to go home. But the older they got, the longer of a break I could handle. Honestly, they were always more ready to be apart then I was. By the time they were in elementary school, they started asking to spend more time with grandparents or cousins. It's really not a big deal anymore. You'll get there."
"Yeah, but I don't think it will be any time soon. My Mom offered to take Lulu for the full week after Christmas. You should have seen Josh's face!"
"I'll bet." Helen giggles. "I know Matt loves our kids, but I swear I have never met a more devoted father than Josh Lyman! I never would have guessed that when I first met him."
"He wants to have another baby."
Helen squeals "ooh. . . you should! Lulu needs a sibling."
"Have you been talking to Josh's Mom?"
"No. . ." Helen hesitates, I can see she's wondering if she's about to cross a line. "Don't you want another one?"
I smile at her, trying to put her at ease. I'm perfectly fine with her asking. "I do, but I like what I do here. I feel like we're all managing. Would we be able to handle another? How would it affect our jobs?"
I'm mostly talking about Josh and I, but honestly, Helen is fairly involved in our child care arrangement. I'm half asking her as my friend and half asking her as my employer, half asking her as my back-up nanny. This can be such a touchy subject between women under normal circumstances, and there's no question that our circumstances aren't normal.
"Donna, I really believe you can do anything you put your mind to. It'll work out. I love that Lulu spends a lot of time in the Residence. And of course, you know you can take as much time off as you need."
I know she means well with that offer, but it's not quite as comforting as she intended it. It often feels like I'm a lot more politically motivated than Helen is. She worked part time when Peter was born, then stayed home full time after Miranda arrived. That's just not me. I love Lulu and I love spending time with her everyday. But being off on maternity leave was not fulfilling for me. If I hadn't needed the physical recovery time, I would have come back sooner. It was only my online class that kept me from going bonkers. I really do like the idea of another child, but I'm nervous about messing with the status quo. Two Lyman children in the White House might just be too much. I'm not really ready to share ALL my thoughts on this with Helen.
"Well, I don't really have to decide this today. So let's get to work now."
"Okay." Helen sighs, "tell me what my next two weeks looks like."
"It's not too bad. Tomorrow, it'll just be Senior Staff around. We've got the Veteran's Day Memorial at Arlington in the afternoon. Wednesday, we'll start prepping for the Women in Congress brunch for January. I'll start reaching out to the new Congresswomen and welcome them and make sure we get on their calendars. We're stuffing backpacks on Friday for Feeding America. Then next week, the only appearance is the Soup Kitchen on Friday. And then of course, the Thanksgiving festivities. . . . "
"And then four days off! I can't wait!"
"Even if it is spending time with Matt's family?" I like to tease her but the truth is, she gets along with most of his family.
"Yes, there won't be as many of us as there was at Camp David, but we'll still be packed into the house. Carmen offered to host, but the Secret Service doesn't want to try to secure her place. The kids can't wait to see their cousins. Peter is especially ready for a break from school."
I make a mental note to check up on that. I know this year has been rough on him. I wonder if there is anything I can do.
"You guys are going to New Hampshire again, right?"
"Yes."
"Just can't get enough Presidential time?" Helen teases me.
"Something like that." I laugh. Helen likes to tease us about how close we are to the Bartlets, but I think it actually really comforts her. I think it reminds her that the relationships we develop in this place really do last after the administration comes to an end.
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SUNDAY NOVEMBER 16
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"Do you want to change planes in Detroit or Charlotte?" I call out to Josh from across the room.
"I don't want to change plans at all!" He yells back in a snarky tone. He's been in a mood for a few days, so I try to use my patient voice with him.
"After all these years, you think I don't know that? But, there aren't any direct flights from Dulles to Manchester. So what do you want to do?"
Every time I've tried to nail down our travel plans, he's put me off. But it really can't wait much longer. Ron needs to know what we are doing.
"I don't want to change planes." He grumbles again, with a little less of a tone, but still avoiding the answer, and going back to his briefing memo.
Setting my laptop down on the coffee table, I get up and walk over to the dining room table where he's spread out. I stand behind him and massage his shoulders a bit. He's really tense. Something is going on that he hasn't told me. I wasn't oblivious to the amount of Secret Service that accompanied us to the Soup Kitchen on Friday. I know he can't tell me everything. I just hate how anxious it makes him. I could help share the burden if he'd let me.
I lean down and whisper in his ear. "We could drive to New Hampshire. I'm sure ten hours in a car with a one year old would be very relaxing."
He gives an exasperated sigh, but I feel his shoulders relax, just a little tiny bit. He needs a distraction from whatever is bothering him. So I suck his earlobe into my mouth. I can't help but grin as he groans while I nibble on it a little.
"So, family road trip? Are we driving?" I'm still looking for an answer to my first question even as I tease him.
"You're evil. I'm trying to work here."
"You need a break. Tell you what, for every decision we make about this trip, I'll take off an article of clothing."
Josh sits up straight, then turns to look at me. I'm relieved to see a smirk on his face.
"Deal. We'll leave the day before Thanksgiving. After work. That's two decisions. Take your top off. Bra too."
. . . .
As I lay in his arms, listening to his heartbeat, Josh caresses my hair. This is how we center ourselves, how we over-come the challenges. When we are together like this we both feel stronger. We lay quietly for quite a while, and I wonder if Josh has fallen asleep, until he starts to speak quietly.
"I love you so much. I'm sorry I've been grouchy."
"It's okay. I still love you."
"I hate keeping things from you."
"I know. You'll tell me when you can tell me."
He sits up and I shift so that I can look at him. My heart beat kicks up. Whatever is stressing him out is a big deal, I can't help but worry at what I'm about to find out. Whatever it is, we'll get through it together. A look passes over his face, and then he is resolute again.
"Honestly, Donna, some of the stuff . . . I hope I never have to tell you." He gives me a long kiss. "Go to sleep. I need to work a little longer."
Then he gets up, pulls on some sweats, and goes back out to the table.
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MONDAY NOVEMBER 17
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After our morning staff meeting, I stop by Ron's office. "Hey Linda," I greet his secretary. "Is Ron available? Or does he have time later today? I think I've got a reasonable handle on our Thanksgiving travel plans." She doesn't need to know how I finally got Josh to be willing to make decisions.
"Looks like he's free. Let me just check." She picks up her phone. "Donna Lyman here to see you."
Linda smiles at me as she hangs up the phone. "Go on in."
"Hey Ron." I greet him as I walk through the door.
"Donna. It's always good to see you. What's up?"
"I think we've figured out our Thanksgiving travel- at least the best we ever can." He knows as well as I do that these could change at the last minute, at least for one of us.
"You're going to the farm again?"
"Yes, is that a problem?"
"Not at all. It's much easier than when you visit your parents."
"I'm sorry, but my parents are expecting us at Christmas."
Ron smiles gently at me. "Don't be sorry, Donna. You tell us what you need. We figure out how to make it work. That's our job. Now, what's happening next week?"
"Well, there isn't a direct flight to Manchester that works for us this year. We were thinking we could fly into Logan, then drive to the farm."
"That's not a problem. In fact, I much prefer that to having you change planes."
"You and Josh both!"
Ron chuckles. "What time would you be leaving?"
"There's a Five O'clock flight from Dulles that will get us to Boston just after 6:30. So we'll leave Wednesday after work and come back on Sunday afternoon."
"I'll send Kevin and Susan with you on the flight to Boston. Then we'll have field agents pick you up from the airport and drive you to the farm. We'll assign two extra agents to the farm detail while you are there. The Bartlets don't have shadow protection unless they actually leave the property. The same will go for you and Josh. Does that work for you?"
"So our agents will get Thanksgiving off?"
"Yes. They'll meet you back at Logan on Sunday afternoon."
"That sounds perfect!" I'm delighted. I always feel bad when the agents have to work on holidays. I mean, obviously the field agents do, but it's easier when I don't know them personally.
"Do you have all the flight information with you?"
"Yes."
"Leave it with Linda and we'll book everything. Same credit card as on file?"
"Yes. Thanks Ron."
"Anytime, Donna."
I leave Ron's office smirking to myself a little. This isn't the first time we've done this, but it always feels a little surreal. Traveling without the First Family is an intricate dance because we can't use government aircraft. But we have enough of a security detail to require some extra steps and the involvement of the Secret Service. I know we get some special treatment, including pretty much guaranteed seating for us and our agents, by-passing security, and being seated last, and let off the plane first, but we still have to figure out how we are traveling and pay for it ourselves. Ron isn't our travel agent!
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TUESDAY NOVEMBER 25
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"Josh is on line one." Karen announces through the speaker and I grin to myself.
"Hello."
"Turkeys are here." He announces with glee.
"I'll be right down."
I hang up without saying goodbye and hussle out of my office. "I'll be in the West Wing." I announce to Karen as I rush by.
I get to his office breathless. "Where'd you have them put?"
"Lou's office!" He chortles.
"Is she back yet?"
"No, still on the hill. I had her take a fake meeting."
He grabs my hand and we head over toward the communications bullpen to get a good seat for the show, grinning the whole time. The key here is to be in a position to watch without it being obvious, and for no one to realize that it's Josh and I orchestrating the Turkey surprise.
Last year, we got Bram. It wasn't as much fun for me because I was home and just heard about it second hand. And Bram didn't wig out anyway. He's pretty good at just rolling with the punches. He handled all the Thanksgiving activities with no problem.
Josh must be looking for a little more excitement this year. I'm just glad that whatever was bothering him seems to have passed within the last day or so and he's back to himself.
"Here." He hands me a folder and leads me into the Roosevelt Room. "Sit here like we are having a meeting. That way we can see when Lou gets back. Pretend like you are talking to me."
"How 'bout I actually talk to you?"
"Ah-kay that could work."
Just then Lou power walks past the doors. Josh grins at me and stands up.
"Wait a second, let her get closer to her office first." I count to ten slowly while we grin at each other then jerk my head toward the door. We're at the doorway of the communications bullpen when we hear the turkeys gobbling and Lou's outraged voice yell-
"JOSHUA LYMAN!"
So much for stealth.
"Okay, I'm outta here. Good luck, babe." I tell him as I turn to head back to my office.
"Where are you going?" Josh whines. "You're going to make me face her alone?"
"Yes, Lulu needs at least one of us alive."
