In which Leo ponders about life, the Universe and everything.
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Forty-Two
Leo sat down outside the Big House with a Pepsi and a taco. Smiling, Leo took a large bite from the meaty goodness with a crunchy shell. Fireflies danced in swirls and spirals of light, the darkening skies the curtain of their stage. Leo slugged back a swig of Pepsi, letting it fizz in his mouth before swallowing.
The sounds from the Big House were muffled, but only slightly. He could here laughter and screams and singing. Flashing lights signalled the start of the threatened celebration disco.
Leo wanted to relish the attention that he received since his return, to find a nice girl who would worship the ground he walked on. He wanted to stand beside the other seven of the quest proudly and to say; "Yeah, I killed thousands of monsters," without anyone snorting in disbelief.
Finally, he could shake Jason's hand and think only; this guy's my friend, without the edge of jealousy that ate away at the corners of his mind for so long. Leo had reached epiphany. The only downside was that he couldn't party or flirt or boast, because Leo had changed.
Not much, only slightly; but his mind-set was focused on different things and, for the Gods sakes, he'd been on two quests in little under and year. Everyone was changed by what they'd done. Gaia and her twisted plans warped their dispositions and for better or worse, they were stuck that way.
Fingering his belt, Leo smiled in a slightly wistful fashion. He pulled a spanner from the pouch to his right.
"That's right," he muttered, face reflected in the metal. "You're going to be used for fixing stuff now, no more braining monsters for you."
"Well, not really." Leo jumped about a foot in the air as Nico di Angelo materialized beside him, the shadows fell back from his body like a cast away cape. "There are way more monsters out there, you know." He took a sip from Leo's Pepsi that he had dropped onto the grass and pulled a face. "Man, this stuff was so much better in the 1900's. The fizzes were like explosions…" A dreamy look appeared on his face before Nico shook it off. "Anyway, there's no coming back from that."
"You – you…" Leo pointed at the shadows and then at Nico and back at the shadows. Nico frowned at him curiously.
"Do you want me to go?" he asked. "I was already outside and saw you. I thought you might want… you know… company." Nico said the last word with an air of practice, as though he'd been forced into talking and being around people before. Leo thought about Percy's mom, Sally, and realized that Nico may well have been coerced into such things.
"Nah," Leo said. "You can stay; I just didn't expect you to… well…" Leo gave a weak "tada" wave of his hands.
"Shadow travel?" Nico finished, he sounded amused which Leo took to be a good thing. "I've only just got this power back properly, and by properly, I mean not needing to sleep for hours afterwards." He grinned and Leo found that it looked not only out of place on Nico's face, but was also kind of scary.
Leo found it sad that Nico's smiles were not completely happy ones.
"What were you doing out?" Leo asked.
"What nice weather we're having," Nico commented, nodding and taking Leo's second taco. He sniffed it delicately and wrinkled his nose before gingerly placing back on the greasy sheet of plastic. He had avoided the question rather badly in Leo's (very important) opinion, but the warning look in his black eyes transformed Nico from teenage boy to someone that Leo didn't know. So Leo let it slide.
"What were you thinking about?" Nico asked after a prominent and awkward pause.
"Nothing much," Leo shrugged. "Just wondering why I can't go in there," he nodded towards the Big House; "And have a good time. Philosophical stuff." Nico nodded in an understanding way and Leo thought that Nico probably understood even better than Leo did.
"Life, the universe and everything, then. Forty-two, right?" Nico said and raised his eyebrows as though waiting for Leo to start laughing. When Leo didn't, Nico shrugged and smirked. "… And you call yourself a funny dude."
"I'm funny," Leo said, defensively crossing his arms. "I'm so funny that there's a whole new word! Ever heard of 'Leo-llarious'?" He grinned and Nico shot him such an unamused look that Leo felt goose-bumps prickle over his skin.
"And that was so funny; I simply forgot to laugh," deadpanned Nico.
"That's so old, man!"
"Sometimes things grow better with age… like wine. And me," Nico said, pulling out his sword and polishing it with the sleeve of his aviator jacket. After a minute of almost-friendly silence, Nico sighed heavily.
"Well," he stood. "I've got to go now, thanks for the Pepsi. See you," Before Leo could even offer a 'Bye' in return, the son of Hades vanished into the shadows.
Leo sat back, stuffed the last of his (cold) taco into his mouth and watched as flowers began to bloom around him. Obviously the Demeter kids were celebrating. The delicate petals of pink, stained violet in the deepening blues of the night opened and closed; like sea anemones, in the wind.
"Life, the universe and everything," Leo murmured. It was intriguing; already Leo's mind was shifting through the different possibilities. "Do you know?" Leo addressed his belt and shoved his hand into one of the pouches. He pulled out a board and a draw-string bag. A quick check over the items confirmed that the belt had offered Leo a game of scrabble.
"I didn't ask for a game to play," Leo grumbled as he rummaged through the bag for anything interesting. He drew a tile from the sack. It had the letter 'w' on it. Leo put it on the ground, next to his foot and pulled out another one: 'h'. The following letters were: 'a', 't' and 'd'.
"Whatd?" Leo mumbled, and then a light bulb moment. "What – d -" (Leo pulled out another tile) "-'o'. What – do?" Growing excited, Leo pulled out more and more tiles until a sentence ley on the floor in front of him. Reading it aloud, Leo said: "What – do – you – get – if – you –multiply – six – by – nine?" Leo paused.
"That's it? Six by nine, is fifty-four!" Leo said. Then to his belt; "How does that make forty-two? Can you tell me that, eh?"
There was a flash of white light and, blinded, Leo took a moment to notice the letter before him.
Dear Mr L. Valdez, it read.
Please desist in your mission to find out the question to the answer forty-two (life, the universe and everything). We ask you this, only because it is impossible for the answer and the question to exist in the same universe, or they will cancel each other out and take the universe with them creating something even more bizarre.
As you can imagine, we would rather like to keep things the way they are. Not existing is extremely low on our list of things to do.
Signed,
The Gods
Leo sat back with a defeated sigh. Yeah, if the gods ceased to exist life would probably suck. And Leo wouldn't exist either which would mean that everyone's lives would, like, not even be worth living.
"Forty-two is a sucky answer anyway," Leo said grouchily.
"The answer to what?" asked Piper as she sat down next to him and took a sip of Leo's Pepsi.
"That's what I want to know!" Leo said loudly, "But the stupid gods have forbidden me to find out the question. Something about them cancelling each other out and the gods not existing," Piper laughed.
"Well that would be a problem." She shook her head, "What are you doing outside, anyway? About half the girls inside are looking for you, I thought you would be lapping it up."
"I was thinking about the meaning of life, the universe and everything," Leo said. "Only the answer – forty-two –doesn't make sense without the question…"
"Which, if discovered would result in creating an even more bizarre universe," said Piper, Leo looked up in surprise.
"You're good, how did you -? Oh," Piper was holding the letter in her hand and squinting at it. "The only question I found was given to me by a game of scrabble and it was 'what do you get if you multiply six by nine'?"
"Fifty-four," answered Piper.
"Exactly."
Piper stared into space for a moment before raising her eyebrows; "I always thought there was something fundamentally wrong with this universe."
"Greek gods spawning with modern mortals and monsters not enough for you?" teased Leo.
"Only the tip of the iceberg," said Piper dramatically, grinning. "What brought this on?"
"I'm just different," Leo shrugged.
"We all are," promised Piper giving him a hug. "But you're always going to be my funny brother. Younger than me, of course, so that I can boss you around."
"You do that anyway," Leo said, Piper giggled.
"Yup," she leaned back, resting on her elbows. "It's so pretty, with the moonlight and fireflies and flowers. I love camp,"
"Hey," Jason touched down before them, his jeans were rolled up and caked in mud. "What's up?"
"Nothing much," Leo answered.
"We were just thinking about life, the universe and everything," said Piper.
"Sounds like I've missed a pretty important discussion then," Jason sat down on Leo's other side and grabbed the Pepsi.
"Not really, all we know is that the answer's forty-two and that if we find out the question none of us will be alive." Jason nodded.
"So, the usual then?"
"Yeah," said Leo. "The usual,"
"Well, I'm going to find Lacy," Piper stood up and brushed down her skirt. "See you in a bit," Then she left, trotting up the steps like a dressage horse.
"So," Leo faced Jason. "How's life as a Roman demigod, again?" Jason grinned; he was wearing a purple top with SPQR on it.
"Awesome, I never realized just how much I loved training," Leo felt slightly dizzy as miniature flashes of light flared in Jason's eyes, it made his vision go slightly off kilter. "How's life as a walking fire-ball?"
"Hot," said Leo, smiling and setting his left hand aflame to wave it in Jason's face. "I'm hot-stuff."
"What are you doing out, hot-stuff?" asked Jason. "I mean, they're shouting our names in there." Almost as if cued, voices rose.
"NICO, NICO!" Leo and Jason shot each other sidelong glances.
"He's going to be pleased to be the centre of attention," Jason said.
"Duh," Leo smirked. "Children of Hades are just so sociable."
"Of course," they laughed and Leo noticed a satyr chasing after a dryad. Pointing the scene out to Jason, the romantic feeling was lost as the dryad changed into a tree and the satyr ran headfirst into the trunk.
"Burn," they said together and then fist-bumped.
"Oh, the bromance, I'm feeling left out." Frank flopped down beside Jason, sipping some of the Pepsi, which seemed to have become a communal can. "Pluto on a kebab, Hazel just won't stop dancing."
"Pluto on a kebab?" Jason raised one eyebrow.
"Shouldn't you be respectful to your future father-in-law?" asked Leo innocently.
"There are no other words," Frank closed his eyes. "So kebab Pluto, I must."
"Aaand, as much as I am interested by this conversation," Jason stood. "I must now leave you. To fight. To conquer." He drew an imaginary sword, "To party!"
"It sounded impressive until that point," said Frank. He and Leo craned their necks to watched Jason rise into the air. His hair blew across his face in the breeze.
"Everything can sound impressive to a point," Leo ran a hand through his dark curls and rubbed oil onto his blue overalls. "I mean saying 'I ate a seventeen pound hamburger' sounds pretty amazing…" Frank nodded.
"So it does."
"Yeah, but then, if you burp…"
"All respect is lost," Frank placed a hand on Leo's shoulder comfortingly. There was a moment of silence, slightly awkward, but not embarrassingly so. "Why are there scrabble tiles all over the grass?"
"It's the question to life, the universe and everything," Leo said. "Only, it's not really, because if I had found that out the universe would be cancelled out and we wouldn't be here."
"Oh," Frank sounded surprised, but not utterly bamboozled. "What's the answer?"
"Forty-two," said Leo dully.
"Oh, 'what do you get if you multiply six by nine', right?"
"Yeah," Leo sat up straight and stared at Frank. "How did you know?"
"My mom used to read me 'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'," said Frank. Leo gave him a blank look.
"And what the Hades is that supposed to mean to me?"
"It's the big question," said Frank, ignoring Leo and nodding along with his own words, "The question to the answer forty-two."
"And… do you know it?" Leo grabbed Frank's shoulders and tried to shake them, but because Frank was about twice as strong as Leo, all that happened was Leo falling forwards.
"Hi - What am I walking in on?" Hazel said, glancing from Leo to Frank. Leo sat up, letting go of Frank, who shuffled over a bit so Hazel could sit down on the step too. She did, still looking confused.
"Leo's trying to find out the answer to life, the universe and everything," Frank said smartly. "And, I don't know the answer to the question; it was always the big question."
Leo deflated and passed his can of Pepsi to Hazel who sipped delicately. "So that's it, finite; we don't know the question?"
When he didn't get an answer, Leo turned and was greeted by the sight of Frank and Hazel kissing. "Urgh, guys," he complained. "Go, go away, this is my step and it is a no public displays of affection area. Please respect me, and my step, and leave."
They did, slowly, so as to not end the kiss. Leo shut his eyes as they broke apart and hurried in the direction of the forest to be alone. Leo addressed his spanner again. "No PDA for you either, I'm afraid."
"Who are you talking to?" Percy appeared and grabbed Leo's Pepsi.
"Give that back," Leo snarled. "I know I'm outside, thinking about the question to life, the Universe and everything, why does everyone feel the need to drink by Pepsi and -?"
"Dude," Percy shook the can. "There's nothing left in here. And I was about to ask whether you had seen Annabeth."
"No," hissed Leo; grabbing his spanner and waving it threateningly.
"Are you okay?" Percy looked concerned as he squatted to face Leo. His eyes were calm, but Leo knew that Percy could be as temperamental as the sea and because he did not want his spanner destroyed or shoved up any orifices, Leo answered.
"Kind of,"
"Ah," Percy said. "Yes." There was silence for a long while and then Percy added; "Life, the universe and everything?"
"Yes,"
"Is that exactly how it sounds?"
"Yes."
"Oh, that's deep," Leo smirked.
"I see what you did there," Percy looked confused and frowned at Leo.
"What did I do?"
Grinning uncertainly, Leo said; "You know, deep… like water-pressure? No?" Wordlessly, Percy shook his head. "Shall we pretend I never said that?" asked Leo, Percy nodded.
"So… what's the answer?"
"Forty-two," Leo said.
"Okay?"
"I want to find out the question," explained Leo. "But the gods have forbidden me because if I find it out then the question and answer would cancel each other out and the gods could be out of the job."
"You could always make your own question," Percy said quietly.
Across the grass stained dark blue with the night, Leo spotted a figure making her way towards them. Her blonde hair was chopped to her shoulders and her features blurry because of there being little light, but Leo could recognize Annabeth from the bow of a ship fifty meters in the air. Cutting through the grass, she sat silently beside Percy and rested her head on his shoulder. Percy put his arm around her shoulder, and Leo stood up. He didn't want to intrude.
He walked back into the Big House where things had calmed down slightly. The music was softer too, with couples slow dancing. Leo leant against the wall by the door, almost concealed in shadows. Nico di Angelo was rubbing off on him. The though made Leo grimace, and he made a mental note to wear bright colours.
Thoughts whirled through Leo's head. Not all of them were focused on forty-two and the question to life, the Universe and everything, but most were. Leo couldn't help it, he was a curious person and that meant he needed to be in the know.
Leo thought back to Percy's last words on the subject. "You could make your own question," Yeah, he could do that.
And that was how Leo found himself in the Hephaestus cabin with a pen in hand and a single sheet of lined paper labelled 'Leo's Questions to Life, the Universe and Everything.'
Leo sat there for hours, scribbling and crossing over words and sometimes even paragraphs as he thought through his words carefully. He stuck his tongue out as he wrote.
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When Nyssa came into the room, the first thing she saw was a trail of muddy footprints across the floor, followed by Leo's physique slumped over the modified desk in the far corner of the cabin.
She glanced over his notes, the words friendship, family and love jumped out at her from under layers of inked lines. Finally, she came across a simple looking sentence both underlined and circled.
What do you get if you multiply six by nine? It read, it was followed by the number forty-two. Nyssa frowned and then, squinting, read the bracketed comment.
The universe is flawed and fundamentally wrong. Deal with it.
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Fin
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